The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't By Crushing His Ego
by Kaiya-Chan
Summary: [Royai] Roy has just been promoted and Riza is a new transfer sent to work with him. What happens when she arrives and finds out Roy has an 'a woman can't do a man's job' attitude? Will they learn to get along? Or will the Fuhrer have to take matters into
1. A New Transfer?

The Way to A Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego

Chapter 1: A new Transfer?

Within the massive building of Central Roy Mustang sat, hard at work. He was very happy with himself. He'd just been promoted to Lieutenenant Colonel and nothing could stop him from getting to full Colonel now. There he sat at his desk, in his office, sorting through all the papers and daydreaming about his next promotion. His office wasn't a big one, not as big as he would have liked anyway. His desk was centered at the far end of the room. It was large, heavy, and covered in files and shuffled loose-leaf papers. In front of it facing inwards were six more desks. They were in two rows of three and perfectly allied. They belonged to his subordinates, but two sat empty. The room was bare and quiet, white walls with just a hint of light blue. A few windows allowed sunlight to spill across the green tile floor, but rarely did anyone bother to look outside. Roy was doing very well for himself until there was a knock at his door.

"Knock, knock," a familiar voice called as a figure walked through the door. It was Major Maes Hughes, Roy's long time friend. He was tall with black hair that was somewhat spiky, or messy, depending on who was looking at it. He wore the standard dark blue military uniform and some rectangular-shaped glasses that the light reflected off of when he cocked his head at the right angle.

"What is it?" Roy asked as he looked from the Major and back to his papers.

"How's the big promotion feel?" Hughes asked as he leaned against the doorframe. His arms were folded over his chest and he had a big grin on his face, as he usually did.

"Don't you have some work to do in the Investigations Department?" Roy grumbled as he shuffled through the never-ending stacks of papers that were said to be 'important documents', but didn't amount to squat.

"Sure," Hughes replied, "I was just working on it a few minutes ago, and I found out something you might want to know."

"What?" This caught Roy's attention. He stopped doing his work and looked up at his friend. _I wonder… if I'm getting promoted again already…_

"I was looking through the reports for the new transfers over here. There was someone on the list who will be working with you. A new Second Lieutenenant."

"Who is he?" Mustang asked as he looked over at the row of tables. The desk on the front left sat empty. He knew a new body would be inhabiting that chair soon.

"I dunno. Name was Hawkeye," Hughes shrugged as he pulled a picture of his wife, Gracia, from his shirt pocket and stared at it. His face gained a gentle smile as he lost himself in her beautiful face.

"Hawkeye, huh? If he's getting transferred, then he must be good. I think I should find out more about him. Just so I know he won't be a threat to me and my promotion."

"You can ask King Bradley about it. He has all the records on the soldiers here," Hughes suggested.

"Good idea," Roy replied with a smirk. "I think I'll go see if he's free right now."

"Don't you think you should ask for an appointment first? He might get angry. I'm sure he has a lot to do. He is the Fuhrer you know," Hughes said as he looked up from his picture and to Roy. The future Colonel had his elbows resting in his desk. One hand was next to his face, his chin resting on it. His deep blue eyes stared down at his other hand that lay on his desk. His mind wandering through thought as his eyes traced the red lining of the alchemy circle that was printed on the fabric of the white glove.

"I can always go there and see. If he's not there, then I'll make an appointment," the Lieutenant Colonel got up from his desk and walked toward the door. The sound of his black boots on the green tile floor was all that was heard until...

"Hey, Roy," Hughes cooed with a smile just as Roy was passing him.

"Yes?" he replied as he stopped and looked at him.

"ISN'T SHE JUST SO HOT?" Hughes asked as he shoved the picture of Gracia in his face.

Roy jumped back a bit surprised, but quickly stopped himself and regained his cool composer. His eyebrow twitched as he walked away from Hughes, an annoyed expression on his once calm face.

"Ah come on, Roy. You think she is too, don't you?" Hughes asked as he followed Roy down the hall. He voice was in its high excited tone. He was going on and on even though Roy wouldn't respond to his rambling.

"We're here," Roy said. His voice filled with annoyance as they stood outside the door to the Fuhrer's huge office. It was the same office he was working so hard to take.

"Yeah, I can see that," Hughes replied as he stared at the door, somewhat leaning over Roy's shoulder.

"So you can leave now," Roy said not looking at Hughes. His eyes were closed and his eyebrows were beginning to come together, like two cars about to hit in a head-on collision. This told everyone around that he was getting angry and to stay away.

"Do I have to?" Hughes wined, somewhat disappointed.

"Yes," Roy growled. He was doing all he could to maintain his composer and not torch those annoying pictures Hughes carried around with him. He knew everyone else in the building would be grateful for it, but they were Hughes' pride and joy. He couldn't just burn it all…or could he?

"Alright," Hughes sighed. "But I'll be waiting in your office. I have to tell you all about what Gracia did yesterday!"

Roy's eyebrow twitched again as he walked into the Fuhrer's office, not bothering to say goodbye to Hughes. He simply just slammed the door in his face.

"Geez. You'd think he'd be a little more family friendly," Hughes grumbled, rubbing the back of his head as he slowly turned to walk away. Just then he saw one of his workers walk by with a huge stack of files. His grin once again returned as he dashed over to the tall man with gray hair. "HEY FALMAN! LOOK AT MY WIFE! ISN'T SHE BEAIUTIFUL?"

"That Hughes… sometimes I wonder why any of us put up with him," Roy grumbled to himself as he walked through the large room and to the secretary behind the desk. The room was very spacious. It was surprisingly empty for the room belonging to the Fuhrer's security. It was very dark. Only the light from the outside world lit the large area. On the walls hung fabricated scrolls of a green shade, on them the symbol of the military was printed.

"Can I help you, sir?" the woman behind the counter asked. Her brown hair was brushed nicely, and sat calmly on her shoulders. She had ivory green eyes that stood out vividly against her pale white skin. She wore a pink-ish tan blouse and had a skirt to match. On the left side of her chest a nametag was pinned to the fabric. The white of the nametag was a nice contrast to the pink of her blouse. It read a common name, Juliet Douglas.

"Yes, is the Fuhrer in?" he asked as he stared down at her. She didn't seem to want to make much eye contact with him. She kept her eyes on the papers stacked neatly on her desk.

"No, I'm sorry, but he's in a meeting now," she replied as she looked at a book filled with small neat notes. Her face held no expression as she flipped through page after page.

_That must be her appointment book. The Fuehrer really is a busy man._ Roy thought to himself. It did look pretty full, not something he was too happy about. "When can I see him?"

"He has an opening…" she continued flipping through the pages looking for a time when King Bradley would be free. "In about four months."

"Four months?" Roy gasped, "Are you sure it will be that long?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

_Four months…. He'll be here before then. _The Lieutenant Colonel growled to himself. A bit of a disgusted look appeared on his face, but he hid it well.

"Would you like me to put you down then?" she asked as she watched Roy drift off, lost in thought.

Roy noticed the cold emotion-less tone her voice held, but he didn't pay it any mind. He had more important things to worry about. "No, thanks anyway," he said shoving his hands into his pockets and heading for the door. His face held a hint of displeasure, but noting too extravagant.

"I'm sorry I couldn't have been of more help," she called to his back as he left. Her voice still cold and the tone was very flat. No life appeared in it at all.

"It's alright," Roy replied, not bothering to turn back to the woman. He opened the large door and closed it behind him. Then he stood in the seemly empty hall and stared out the window across from of him. He could see a courtyard outside. It was a lovely day; the sun was shining brightly, coming through the windows and spilling across the tile floor. _What do I do now? The only one who knows about transfers if the Fuhrer._ Roy thought to himself, standing still as a statue. After a few moments of picking his brain a smirk appeared on his face. "Hughes…"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK? ISN'T SHE JUST ADORABLE?" Hughes asked as he sat on Jean Havoc's desk. Havoc was one of Roy's many loyal followers, and a Lieutenant. He had short sandy-blond colored hair and blue eyes. He wasn't exactly sure what to do at this point. All he could think of was to nod and grab a cigarette.

"Hey, Hughes," Roy's voice along with a door opening and closing, was heard from the other end of the room.

"Roy, back already? Did you get to see the Fuhrer?" he asked not bothering to get off Havoc's desk. Havoc didn't really care about that though. He was just glad the Lieutenant Colonel was able to get Hughes off his back. The sandy-blond man gave a sigh of relief and began enjoying his already half smoked cig.

"No, he was busy," Roy replied in his usual calm tone as he walked across the room and sat down at his desk.

"I told you he would be," Hughes said before looking back to Havoc. "I guess I'll have to tell you about Gracia later."

"Umm… sure," Havoc mumbled uneasily as a burnt piece of cigarette fell onto his pants. He was unsure if that was a good thing or not. Either way Hughes jumped off his desk and headed over to Roy.

"So what are you gonna do? Wait until he arrives?" Hughes asked.

"Nope," Roy replied with a smirk.

"Then what?" Hughes asked somewhat curiously. He laid a hand down on Roy's messy, file covered desk and leaned over toward his friend waiting for an answer.

"You're going to find out for me."

"What?" the Major exclaimed, surprised and standing upright.

"You _are_ in the Investigations Department. I'm sure you can handle it," he replied narrowing his eyes and giving off another one of his trademark smirks.

"Hold on. When do you think I'm supposed to do this? I have a lot of work to do!" Hughes retorted.

"It's your fault. You've been here talking instead of working. Just do it after work."

"But Gracia is waiting for me. Plus she's making her famous apple pie for dessert. I don't want to miss it."

"I'm sure she'll save you a piece. Thanks a lot," Roy patted him on the back with his usual smile that all the women would die for.

"But..." Hughes trailed off then smiled. "I can't escape the future Colonel now, can I?"

"Nope," Roy repiled as he leaned back in his chair. "Oh, and I'm not as cold as you think. I'll stay after and help you. I have nothing better to do and I want to find out about this guy."

"Would you stay if you did have something to do?" Hughes asked.

"No."

He laughed a little. "You had me worried for a minute there. Who'd of thought the great Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, would pick up a pen and do actual book work? I guess miracles do happen after all."

"Yeah… sure… whatever you say, Maes," Roy mumbled. "I'll see you after work, meet me in the library."

"Alright, see you then," Hughes left Roy's office, and then headed back to his own.

"Are you really going to help, chief?" Havoc asked as he rubbed his thumb across the spot where the burnt cigarette had fallen on his pants. Roy picked up another paper and began reading.

"No," he said as he read, "But I like to think I made Hughes believe in miracles for a few hours."

"I see," Havoc smiled as he picked up another cigarette and they both got back to work.


	2. Research

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 2: Research

"Roy? Hey, Roy, you here?" Hughes called as he walked into the library. It was a huge room, even bigger then the Fuhrer's office. It was stacked high with bookshelves full of books of every color and size. There were tables set up everywhere for people to sit down to read and do research; and if that wasn't enough there were also little rooms that held books with information on, more or less, the same thing in the back of the library.

"Shhh! Don't shout, this is a library. People are trying to read," one of the men working behind the desk hissed angrily at Hughes.

"Uh…" Hughes looked around. "But no one's even here."

"Shh!"

"Oh... sorry," Hughes said quietly and walked away, but not before he showed a photo of his wife to the man who had been harassing him.

"Roy, you here?" he whispered as he tip toed through the large library. "Where is he? He better not have stood me up."

"Hughes," a quite voice was heard behind him, along with a tap on the shoulder.

"AHH!" Hughes squealed with fright and jumped, just about climbing up the bookshelf. "Oh, Roy, it's just you!" he said with a smile as he looked down and saw Roy staring up at him with his usual somewhat annoyed expression. _Why does he always get that look when I'm around?_ he wondered, but quickly shook it off.

"Shhh!!!!!" they heard the librarian hiss again.

"Sorry!" Hughes shouted. He wanted to be sure the librarian heard him all the way on the other end of the room. The man replied Hughes' smile with a rather annoyed despising glare.

"Did you find anything yet?" Roy asked, not caring about the librarian.

"Nope, I just got here. I was looking for you."

"I see," he replied, "So where would we find out about this Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Here probably, they keep the records of all the books as well as military personnel in the Central library."

"Good," Roy replied. He was hoping this would be quick, just grab a few books, read a few paragraphs, and break a few laws, no biggy type of deal.

"Right," Hughes said as he led Roy toward the back of the library to where the records were held. They were just about to enter one of the small rooms in the back when they were stopped by one of the workers.

"I'm sorry, but you can't go back there," said a dark skinned woman wearing a white shirt, green vest, and black pants, as they approached the area that was said to be off limits.

"It's ok, I'm Major Hughes. I'm with the Investigations Department. I just need to check on a few last minute things."

"What are you looking for? Do you have clearance?" she asked as she put some books on a nearby table.

"Sure," Hughes replied with a smile. Roy stood quietly behind him. He really didn't want to get involved if he didn't have to.

"From who?" she asked.

"Him," Hughes replied and pushed Roy into the open, "This is Lieutenant Colonel, Roy Mustang. I'm checking on a few things for him."

"Hey," Roy grumbled as he gave Hughes a quick glare.

"What? You said you wanted to help," Hughes replied with a smirk.

Roy had an annoyed look on his face, but he had no choice but to play along. "Yes, I am Mustang, and I need a few files."

"That's all well and good, sir. But do _you_ have clearance to look at these files?"

_Do I have clearance…_ Roy grumbled to himself. He was about to come up with one of his witty comebacks until Hughes nudged him in the back.

"Easy Roy, you want to find out, don't you?" Hughes whispered quietly in his ear.

Roy's eyebrow twitched as it did when he was annoyed. He held in his annoyance and anger, and answered in a calm voice. "Yes, I have clearance. I'm the Lieutenant Colonel. I know I need it to get back here. If I didn't have it I would have never came."

"I see, may I ask who it's from?" she asked.

"No, you may not. I gave you an answer. You asked if I had clearance, and I answered you. Come on, Hughes," he replied as he walked passed the woman. Hughes was right behind him with his usual smile.

"Sorry about Roy. He gets uptight when he's behind on work," Hughes said to the woman. "Here, this will make those feelings of hate and rage toward Roy just melt away,"he said as he handed the woman a photo. "Don't worry, I have more," he said as he pulled out a whole collection from his pocket.

"Umm... thanks…" she replied with an unsure smile as she took the picture.

"No problem," he replied. He was just about to say something else when Roy's booming voice cut him off.

"HUGHES! DON'T START!"

"Shhhhhhhh!!!!" the hissing was heard all across the library.

"Sorry, gotta go," Hughes said to the woman and walked back to the small area that held the records. It was a very small room; two of the walls were covered in shelves, filled with brown folders and files. The third wall had no files, but a window that you could see the city out of. The floor wasn't tile, but surprisingly, a dark green carpet.

_About an hour later…._

Hughes had his nose in all sorts of files while Roy was leaning back in his chair. His arms were folded over his chest and drool was hanging out of his mouth.

_I knew it was too good to be true._ The Major thought with a sigh as he looked from the sleeping Roy and back to the files. _I know it's in here somewhere._ He rustled through the shelves when he finally found a brown folder that looked promising.

"Bingo…" he said with a pleased smile as he pulled out a list of new transfers as well as a full report on each one. "Let's see…. Arnold, Connor, Fleche, Foms, ah here we go, Hawkeye," he said and pulled out the full report on the man known as Hawkeye. It wasn't two seconds that he had been reading when his eyes widened and a huge surprised smile appeared on his face. _Hawkeye, Elizabeth…. Elizabeth huh… it's a woman. Won't Roy be happy._ "So what do we have here," He skimmed through her file, hoping to find something interesting. "She's not an alchemist? Yay! I'm not the only one!" Then he thought to himself. _Wait a minute… Lieutenant Havoc isn't an alchemist either as I recall… Yay! I'm not the only one!_ After he was done with his 'happy moment', Hughes got back to reading Riza's file. "She uses guns? And is very good at it, and was sent here so her incredible skills could be of more use. Hmmm...I see…" he mumbled little things to himself, making mental notes. "She's single. Maybe I just found Roy a wife. So... woman... guns... single… she sounds scary… Should I tell Roy? Or should I let him find out on his own...? I think letting him find out on his own would be more fun."

Hughes spent another twenty minutes going over Riza's file. She sounded very interesting, and despite the whole 'good with guns' thing he was really looking forward to meeting her. "Ok, I've whittled it all down. The bad thing would have to be…if she and Roy get together, and she comes home from work early, and finds Roy with another woman. She'd shoot him." He thought about this a bit. He wasn't sure if he should take it up with the Fuhrer or not. _I'm sure he can be a good boy, and if not, he deserved it. Besides, I'd get in trouble if I talked to the Fuhrer about it because military personnel can't have a relationship with other military personnel. But what if he gets shot…? he deserved it._


	3. Trouble Where the Cash Flows

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 3: Trouble Where the Cash Flows

Hughes finished putting the files back in order, and the folders back on the shelves. He looked out the window. The sky was an orange-purple color as the sun set. He was supposed to have been home three hours ago. He was hoping that Gracia remembered to save him a piece of pie.

"Roy…Hey, wake up," he said as he laid a hand on Roy's shoulder and nudged him gently. "Roy…." Hughes began saying in his sweet little voice, the same one adults talked to babies in. "Roy…. it's time to wake up…"

"…zzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzz….." a huge line of drool was hanging off Roy's chin, and was suspending itself in mid-air right above his chest. Hughes nudged him once more. That did it, that line of drool that was suspended in air a minute ago, was no longer suspending. It was falling and landing on Roy's folded arms with a microscopic splash, and then it began sliding down his wrist. Hughes couldn't help but smile humorously. _I wonder what all those loving fan girls will say if they see their perfect Roy sleeping with drool on his shirt… I bet a lot of them would die if they could just wipe it off. Then they'd save it and boast. "I've got drool from the great Roy Mustang!"_

"Huh?" Roy asked as he sleepily opened his eyes sleepily. Once they focused he saw a big male face right in front of his own. "AHH!" he jumped at the unsuspecting sight and fell backwards in his chair, making a loud crash.

"Is everything all right in here?!" the dark skinned woman from before ran in to see what the loud thud was. Confusion overcoming her face as she saw Hughes standing over Roy. Roy laying on the chair, which was now on its back on the floor, with drool now running from his chest down his left side. "Umm… am I interrupting something?" she asked hoping she hadn't discovered something dark and dirty.

"Nope, not at all," Hughes replied as he stood upright. "Roy was just waking up from his oh so important beauty sleep. Beautiful, isn't he?" he asked as he walked around Roy pointing his arms here and there, pretending like he was modeling something.

"Sure…. lovely…" she replied nervously. "Are you two almost done in here? I'd really like to get home, and I can't leave until you do."

"Yes, we were just about to leave," Hughes replied as Roy got up off the floor and picked the chair up, pushing it back in under the table.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" she asked.

"Sadly no," Hughes replied.

"Well, let's go then," Roy said as he walked passed Hughes and the woman. He was now heading for the door. He didn't show the disappointment on his face, but his silence told Hughes the whole story.

_Hmm... Should I tell him? Should I reveal the truth and lift his spirits?_ Hughes wondered to himself. His ever famous smile appeared and he moved his head to the right making his glasses light up evilly. "Nope!"

"Are you leaving then?" the woman asked as Hughes began to follow Roy.

"Yes, thank you for letting us in. Don't worry, we won't tell anyone we were here."

"What do you mean?" she asked unsure if she wanted the answer.

"Never mind, don't worry about it," he replied with a wave as he and Roy exited the large empty library. Hughes couldn't help himself. He just had to slam the door, and he did, rather loudly.

_SLAM!_

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The door cracked open and a small yellow eye as well as a few fingers appeared through the crack. "SORRY!" the door slammed once more and Hughes and Roy walked down the hall and toward the exit.

"So where to now?" Hughes asked as they walked down the street. They had left the military grounds some time ago, and were in the pedestrians' area of the city. It was now dark outside. The air was crisp and the temperature was just perfect. Some of the buildings were dark and bare as they had been closed for the night. Other stores had people rushing in and out of them as the customers tried to get some last minute items. The two military men watched as the store-keepers stood at the entrances of their shops, giving the customers the 'last call' warning.

"Somewhere where people don't care how much noise you make," Roy replied in his usual tone.

"Awe. But I have so much fun. It's their own faults for being old fogies. Hey, do you still need my help? I kinda wanna get home."

"No, you can go if you want. We'll try again tomorrow."

"…tomorrow…?" Hughes asked in a quiet voice. His high flying plane just crashed and burned.

"Yes, tomorrow," Roy replied. Just then a weird light came from down the street and a loud alarm went off. Their attention was quickly taken to the sounding building. They now heard people screaming along with the sound of the alarms dying.

"Sounds like someone is robbing the Central Bank, and they just cut the alarms," Hughes said as they watched. It wasn't too far away, just down the street a ways.

"The police will never get there in time. Those idiots will be gone by then."

"Should we help then?"

"Of course," Roy replied as he watched the scene.

"How come as long as no book work is involved, you'll jump right into everything without a second thought?" Hughes asked curiously.

"Because… there's no pen, papers, or signatures involved."

"Is that all?" he asked.

"No."

"Then what?"

"My salary comes from there," he answered with a smirk as he glanced back at Hughes, and then took off toward the bank.

"I knew there had to be something," Hughes said with a smile as he ran after the pyromaniac.

"PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG! NOW!" one of the men, the one who appeared to be the leader yelled as he threw a large black pillowcase at the woman behind the desk. The woman was short and not that old, maybe 23 or so. She had long brown hair and blue eyes. She was dressed in a nice light blue blouse and black dress pants. She was the only employee there at the time. The manager figured they wouldn't get many customers since it was rather late and sent everyone else home for the night.

"And be quick about it," another one of the robbers added.

There were five men total. They were all big and muscular, wearing all back and masks over their faces. They didn't have any guns, none that were visible anyway. The gang leader stood by the desk forcing the woman to load up the money. The other four were scattered throughout the large room making sure all the hostages didn't try anything.

The building was small for a bank, but it served well enough. It was very popular and almost everyone in Central went there. The room was bright and the walls were a light blue. There were windows all around, exactly four feet away from each other. A few plants here and there and the floor was a nice navy carpet.

"FASTER, WENCH!" the leader yelled at the woman. She was doing the best she could, but was having trouble with the money. There were metal bars inside the register, which held the money down to keep the bills from getting mixed up with each other. Since the register was pretty much forced open the bars didn't want to lift up, making it very hard to get the money out. She even ripped a few of the bills.

"I'm sorry," she said as she rushed to get the bills out, tears in her eyes as the large man loomed over her. There was a fifty she was having a lot of trouble with. She pulled on it as hard as she could and ripped it. When the bill gave way she stumbled backwards and accidentally knocked the bag of money on the floor. It spilled out everywhere. Everyone's eyes widened at the sight of the money all over the ground. If there weren't any robbers involved you can bet they'd be all over the floor trying to get what they could of it in their pockets.

"YOU IDIOT!" one of the robbers yelled out angrily.

"I'M SO SORRY!" she cried as she looked up at the man. He returned her cries with an evil glare. He then jumped over the desk and back to where she was. He walked toward her. She backed up until she was against the wall and couldn't back up anymore. Everyone knew he was about to kill her. Some of them were terrified for themselves, but others wanted to help.

One man tried to get up and confront the large man, but was quickly stopped by one of the other robbers and punched in the stomach, and then hit in the back of the neck. He was knocked out before he hit the floor. The other people who wanted to help sat silently after that.

"Please, I'm so sorry. I'll pick it up right awa-" she couldn't finish her sentence. The man grabbed her around the throat and lifted her in the air. She clung to his large arm, hoping he would release her. But he wouldn't. Everyone was quiet as they watched her gasp for air. Just as she was about to loose conciseness from lack of oxygen the front door opened and two men dressed in blue Military uniforms walked casually in.

"Put her down," Hughes said when he saw what was happening.

"Who's gonna make me?" the leader asked as he looked from the gasping woman to the two men.

"I am," Roy replied as he pulled his hand out of his pocket and aimed his fingers at the man. He then snapped his fingers and an intense flame appeared in mid-air and was heading right for them.

"Heh," you could tell the leader was smirking by the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes. He quickly dropped the woman and got out of the way of the flame.

"Careful, Roy, we don't want to hurt any of the hostages," Hughes said as his eyes darted around the room, making sure no one was _really_ hurt and needed care.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't worry, Maes, I'm in complete control. I won't hurt anyone who didn't need it."

"Right…" he replied with a smile as they readied themselves for a fight that they thought would be a piece of cake.

"So you're an alchemist and a military dog. I guess that makes you a State Alchemist," the leader said as he studied the alchemy circle on Roy's white glove.

"Yup, Roy's one of the best. He's the Flame Alchemist. I bet you're jealous now, huh?" Hughes retorted playfully.

"No, not at all," the leader replied.

"Huh?" a confused expression appeared on Hughes' face.

Roy just smirked. _Same old story._


	4. Huge Flames, Small Knives, Loaded Guns,

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 4: Huge Flames, Small Knives, Loaded Guns, and Lots of Trouble

"So you're the one who's called the great Flame Alchemist?" the man began with a cocky laugh. "Funny, I expected you to be a lot bigger. You're a scrawny little stick man. There's no muscle on you at all."

Roy smirked at the man's remark. "You know… the good thing about fire is that you don't need a ridiculous amount of muscle to make it useful. You don't need to train endlessly for hours, use illegal drugs, hell you don't even break a sweat, until the heat is streaming down your throat that is."

The man returned Roy smile with his own smirk. "Confident, aren't you?"

"I could say the same thing about you," Hughes interrupted.

"It's not confidence. It's just common knowledge. If you play with fire, you'll get burned," Roy replied in his usual state of mind. He wasn't afraid, excited, or full of rage. He stayed cool and collective like this was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Wonderful lecture, I really learned a lot. Now let me teach you something. If you underestimate people…YOU'LL DIE!" he yelled as he charged at Roy.

"Well then, you shouldn't underestimate me," the Lieutenant Colonel replied. Once the man was at point-blank range he pulled his other hand out of his pocket. The leader didn't know he had an alchemy circle on his left hand as well as his right. Just as Roy snapped his fingers and a giant flame emerged.

The leader quickly regained his senses and stopped on a dime. Just as fast as Roy made his flame the man did a move of his own. He ducked and rolled to the right, missing Roy's flame. Then as fast as he could, he jumped up at Roy, putting his right hand on his chest. Suddenly a bright yellow light appeared under the man's dark clothes. It was very bright and powerful. It shredded the thug's sleeve and left his skin visible. Roy's eyes widened when he saw a glowing alchemy circle tattooed on the man's upper arm.

The Lieutenant Colonel was fast to get out of the way, but not even his fast reflexes were enough. He was able to get away without injury, but the intense light burned a hole through his military jacket, leaving the white button up shirt he wore underneath it showing, clear as day, giving the man a perfect area to focus on.

Just as Roy got back to his feet the leader was about to hit him with another beam of light but…

"ACK!!" He bellowed out in pain as his body tensed. Before he could attack Roy again he felt a horrible pain in his left shoulder blade. His eyes widened at the sharp pain radiating throughout his backside. He turned slightly to see what had happened. Only a few feet behind him stood Hughes with a small knife in his hand. The man reached back and felt a handle sticking out of his back. _That military mutt just stabbed me in the back…_he growled and sneered as his eyes fixed on Hughes and the comical yet somewhat serious expression that his face possessed.

The Major just glanced back at the man with a smile. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did that hurt? You know, you should really take your own advice and not underestimate people. You forgot about me and look what happened to you."

The leader clenched his teeth together and growled angrily. He reached back and pulled the knife out of his back, blood gusting out along with it. He looked at the blood on his hand and the stained knife, he looked up at Hughes. A deep growl escaped the man's throat as he glared at him. Rage and hate boiled in his blood as Hughes' smile made him angrier.

"What's wrong? I said I was sorry. No hard feelings?" Hughes asked in his usual tone. A menacing smile sat on his face. Hughes was a strange one indeed. He could take things as seriously as Roy could, but he stayed laid-back and humorous, almost friendly as he did it.

"Why you…" the man was furious, "I WILL NOT LET YOU MAKE A FOOL OF ME!" he roared and threw the knife to the ground. It hit the floor hard with a clang. He threw it so hard when it made contact the handle broke off and flew in the opposite direction of the blade, landing a few feet away from one of the hostages.

Hughes' stared at his destroyed weapon. "Hey… you broke it… Oh well, don't worry about it. I have more!"

"Hughes…" Roy said with an annoyed look on his face. He was standing behind the two of them. He appreciated the fact that Hughes was trying to help him, but being ignored in a battle like this was not something he could tolerate.

"Yeah?" he asked looking at Roy with curiosity all over his face.

"STOP GOOFING AROUND!" It was amazing. Nothing ever seemed to get to Roy. He was always so calm. No one would ever think Roy Mustang; the Flame alchemist would lose his cool like that. There was just something about Hughes. Maybe it was his laid-back nature, endless supply of photos, or glasses that lit up when he had an evil idea. Roy couldn't put his finger on it, but for some reason just about everything Hughes did annoyed him to no end. But despite that fact, Roy did enjoy Hughes' company and was glad he was around, most of the time anyway.

"Why is everyone yelling at me? All I was trying to do was help," Hughes whined with a confused puppy-like face.

"Help silently," Roy grumbled as he regained his composer.

At this point the leader was more furious then ever. Roy and Hughes weren't taking him seriously at all. And on top of that, they were making a fool out of him. He had been stabbed in the back, and the members of his gang weren't even helping! They were just standing around doing nothing!

As Roy and Hughes bickered with each other over Hughes' behavior he clenched his teeth as well as his fists and began staring angrily at his men. The four men standing nearby looked shocked when they saw their leader's face. They almost looked scared. Like if they breathed he was going to come over and bite their heads off.

"Umm… Boss…?" one of the four men said nervously as he took a few steps toward their master. "Did you want something? We noticed you looked over at us rather fiercely."

"GET THESE TWO! KILL THEM BOTH! THAT IS WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE TIME!"

All the men jumped up, alert and serious at his bear-like tone. They quickly gathered around the two military men and readied themselves for a fight. Hughes and Roy didn't seem to notice. They were still fighting, or 'discussing' as they liked to call it.

Even though the rather nervous robbers appeared to be incompetent and too scared to really know how to do anything, and do it right. They were all actually very skilled alchemists. They didn't have confidence in themselves or their abilities since guns came to town. I guess they figured it's easier to kill with a fast-moving bullet then an alchemy circle.

They all stood around Roy and Hughes, and something on or apart of their body began to glow. They either had their alchemy circle on a bracelet or necklace or tattooed somewhere on their upper body. The bright colors of red, blue, green, and white shown brightly. It went out the windows and spilled across the street like an overflowing river.

Of course, Roy being the State Alchemist that he was didn't get concerned about this at all. These were pushovers compared to his flames, and he'd take care of it after he got a few more lines out at Hughes.

Hughes wasn't distracted by them at all either. He knew full well that Roy knew exactly what he was doing, and if Roy wasn't doing anything to stop this, then he had nothing to worry about… yet.

The leader had a huge grin on his face. _I thought these guys were strong. Well strength doesn't mean anything if you don't have a brain. They'll both get killed before they even realize what's going on._

"We've got them now. They aren't even trying to fight back," one of the men said as a smile appeared on his face.

"Are these guys idiots?" another one asked. Another few seconds and their alchemy would take affect and they'd both be blown away.

"Who cares? This makes it easy for us. I say let them fuss all they want."

"Umm… Roy…" Hughes began. Seeing the smiles on the alchemists' faces and the lights getting bigger and stronger was making him a little nervous, not by much, but enough.

"What?" Roy replied. He wasn't finished telling him all the things he did wrong in his daily life yet. In fact, he hadn't even made it through the breakfast insults.

"Don't you think you should do something... like… right now…. today... maybe..-" Hughes last statement was cut off by the sound of gunfire and police sirens. Just as fast as the sound of gunshots were heard, two of the men fell to the ground. The red and white lights disappeared immediately. The other men saw their comrades fall and they quickly stopped their alchemy to look and see what had happened. The military dogs looked as well.

Once the robbers saw what it was they quickly turned and tried to run. There were windows all around, quite easy to escape. Just as they reached one of the windows two more shots fired, getting both of the men. The leader tried to use his alchemy on the new attacker.

"I don't think so," Roy said snapping his fingers and burning the man before he could do any damage. He didn't use enough force to kill him. He wasn't that fond of killing people, not after what happened with the massacre in Ishbal.

Then he looked again to see who the newcomer was. Standing just inside the door was a woman with long blond hair that went down to about the middle of her back. It rested calmly on her stern shoulders as she held her position. Her eyes were a lovely shade of amber. But her looks aren't what caught the men's attention. It was the pistol in her steady hand.


	5. The Start of Something Bad

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 5: The Start of Something Bad

It was still and silent in the bank as the hostages stared at their rescuer. Their mouths hung open in amazement as their gaze went from the robbers lying unconscious on the ground, back to the blond haired woman. Her face was calm yet stern as her strong amber eyes stayed fixed on the criminals. Her silver pistol still in her hand, ready to fire if one of them were to arise.

"Who is that?" one of the hostages asked as they continued to stare at her. They couldn't believe what had just happened. She just popped out of nowhere and saved them all. She did a really nice job of it, too. She took them all out without creating much of a scene, unlike Roy and Hughes, who just barged in and bickered. Another thing was… she didn't look anything like a sharp-shooter. That's probably the reason most of the people in the bank stared in awe. She looked like any ordinary woman. She had on a nice white blouse, over that she had a tan jacket. Her pants were just a simple pair of nice black dress pants, nothing special or deadly looking.

"Hmmmm…." Hughes began to wonder to himself. _Woman… pretty… blond hair… guns…. can't see a wedding ring so she must be single….. Could it be?... …._ "Nah!" he thought to himself as his cheerful smile appeared, followed by an outbreak of friendly laughter.

"What's going on here?" a police officer asked as he barged in and to his surprise, saw all of the thieves on the ground and none of the money had been stolen.

The woman's attention was quickly taken to the officer behind her. She stood up straight and looked him in the eyes. "These men were trying to rob the bank. They were attempting to kill these two military officers so I stopped them," she reported to the officer. Then she reloaded her gun and put it away, hidden in its holster under her jacket.

"TRYING TO KILL US??!!??!" Roy roared and walked over to the woman rather ferociously. "THEY WEREN'T GOING TO KILL US! I HAD IT ALL UNDER CONTROL!"

"Now, Roy, settle down. Even I was getting a little nervous in those last few seconds. Besides, she saved us the trouble of taking them out ourselves," Hughes said as he walked over to the woman and Roy. "Thank you very much," he congratulated her on a victory well won.

"You're welcome. It was no trouble really," she replied kindly and turned to walk away.

"… women…" Roy sneered to her back.

"Excuse me?" she asked and turned around back toward the dissatisfied dog, the smile no longer on her face. "Is there something wrong?"

"Yes," Roy bluntly replied. The sharp-shooter could tell by the expression on his face that he wasn't very happy with her at the moment. "WOMEN LIKE YOU, THINKING THEY CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT THUS GETTING IN THE MAN'S WAY!"

"Get in your way!?" she snapped back. Her tone of voice become louder and held more authority then it had before, but her face was still emotionless as it always was. She was the type of woman who did not allow her feelings to get out of control, or show enough emotion to let the other person know what she was thinking. If that happened, then her opponent might be able to predict her attacks, and that could be the end of her and those she was trying to protect. "They were about to kill you!"

"I had it all under control. Until you barged in and ruined it all."

"Ruined it? I finished it!" she replied.

"BUT YOU DIDN'T NEED TOO! WOMEN LIKE YOU SHOULD BE IN THE HOME COOKING DINNERS AND DOING DISHES. SOMEWHERE WHERE THE MEN DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT AND PROTECT YOU!"

"Take it easy, Roy," Hughes said. He was trying to calm him down. He wasn't really sure why he got so steamed. He knew how Roy felt about women though. The fact that a woman came in and did a better job then he did, more or less saving his life, and then getting in a fight, granted he started it. Wasn't an acceptable thing in _his_ book. He was a firm believer in the whole 'a woman can't do a man's job' mumbo jumbo.

"YOU'RE THE MOST DISRESPECTFUL MAN I'VE EVER MET! I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE AND NOW YOU'RE CRITIZING ME??? You know, it's pig-headed men like you that cause so many women to die. The testosterone in the room shoots up so high that they choke and die from the fumes radiating off your 'oh so macho' body!" the woman roared then turned to walk away. She didn't want to make a fool of herself because of some jerk she didn't even know. But before she did she let out one last insult. "I pray for your wife. If she's not dead yet, that is. I have to say I envy her for putting up with you."

"I'M NOT MARRIED!" Roy snapped back.

"And I just told you the reason why! You can't stay with a girl for more then two dates. I bet you go to funerals more then you go shopping!"

"Ouch, that one hurt." Hughes said then calculated this last statement in his mind. _Roy… shopping... yeah that funeral thing probably is true._

"WELL WOMEN ARE THE REASON SO MANY MEN END UP IN PRISION! Either the man did something stupid to impress his wife! Or she drove the man insane with her rambling and he did what he did because she drove him nuts!"

"Excuse me…" one of the police men said as he walked over to them. "You'll have to stop that now."

"OR WHAT?" Roy snapped as he glared at the man. His angry gaze was mere inches from the officer. The police man could feel the heat from Roy's nostrils traveling down the front of his throat.

"Or I'll have to arrest you for disturbing the peace," he replied calmly.

Roy didn't have much to say to that. He just grumbled to himself and stomped away.

"Sorry about that. He's really not that bad a guy when you get to know him," Hughes said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I see," she replied as she watched Roy stomp away. Don't get her wrong; she is actually a really nice person. It's just that Roy's attitude was making her rather on edge. She didn't show the least bit of rage to Hughes or the police who were talking to her. "Well, I have to go now. Nice meeting you." she said as she turned to walk away.

"Nice meeting you too, and thanks for helping us out."

"It was no problem. I'm just sorry I caused you so much trouble," she replied and turned back to Hughes.

"It's alright, really, and don't take it personally. Roy doesn't hate you. He just doesn't like it much when you make him look weaker then you, and when you break one of his Golden Rules."

"Oh really?" she questioned, "And what rule is that? Treat others as you want to be treated?"

"Not exactly..."

"Then what?"

"The most important rule," Roy interrupted. He could hear them talking from across the room. "The rule that states very clearly that a woman can't do a man's job. Look it up in the rule book. It's listed right under the rule; 'women who are under the age of 35 have to wear a miniskirt', and right above the rule that states 'what others don't know won't hurt you'."

"That's so beautiful! The best rules I've ever heard! Defiantly rules to live by!" some of the men around replied, tears that looked like milk began streaming down their cheeks. This Roy Mustang was truly a king among men.

The female shooter just gave him a disgusted look and walked away. She was done talking to Roy, not only that, but she was late for a very important meeting with a very important person about a new job she was getting.

"DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME! I WAS TALKING TO YOU!" Roy roared as the woman left the bank and walked down the street.

She simply just closed her eyes and told herself to keep cool. She continued to walk down the street calmly. The sound of Roy's voice yelling out insults filled her ears as the Lieutenant Colonel showed her the full brunt of his rage. Some of those insults really hit close to home, but she didn't let it get to her. She just kept walking at an easy pace. She stopped listening to him and concentrated to the sound of her heels clicking on the pavement.

"I know you're having a bad day, Roy. But you really need to calm down. It's no big deal. Here, take this picture of Gracia. It will make you feel better," Hughes said as Roy took the photo and stomped away. It took him almost two blocks of walking before he was able to regain his calm cool composer.


	6. The Path to Destruction

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 6: The Path to Destruction

The next day at work, Roy was sitting in his office as usual. His eyes glued to the black ink that formed itself into letters on his paper. He seemed to be in a good mood, but was very quiet. He hadn't said anything all morning. Sergeant Major Fury and Lieutenant Havoc sat at their desks, watching Roy from the corner of their eyes. As usual there was a smoking cigarette cocked in the corner of Havoc's mouth.

Fury suddenly smiled and broke the silent tension in the air. He stood up from his seat and looked down at Havoc. The blond man just leaned back in his chair and stared back at him. "I have to go to Major Armstrong's office to get a few files regarding a case I was assigned too. I'll be back in a little while, alright?" he asked looking over at his superior.

The Lieutenant Colonel didn't make any eye contact with his loyal dogs. "Do whatever you want," Roy replied. His words were rather fast spoken and gruff. This told them something was really bothering him.

Havoc watched as the door closed behind Fury then looked back over at Roy. "Are you alright, sir? You're very quiet," his cigarette bounced as he spoke.

"I'm fine," Roy replied in his usual tone, still not looking at him. No one but Roy and Hughes knew what happened at the bank last night. If Roy would have saved the day you can bet it'd be posted on the walls, along with a photo of Gracia. But since he lost it all to a woman he wouldn't breathe a word of it, and if it slipped out through Hughes' ever-running mouth, then he'd deny any of it ever happened, and Hughes was just making up a story so he could listen to himself talk.

"Ok, whatever you say, chief," Havoc replied and got back to his work. If Roy didn't want to talk, then there was either nothing wrong, or he was in a bad, or soon going to be bad mood. If that was the case, then he really didn't want to get involved. _I wonder if he's having problems with the ladies?_ The Lieutenant began to wonder to himself. _Nah! I'm usually the one asking him for help! _

As Roy signed his papers he began thinking about what had happened the night before. His eyebrows looked like they were going to come together again as his body tensed from rage. _Damn woman… making a fool out of me... I did have everything under control… then she barges in and messes it all up… and she wasn't even properly dressed. Women of her stature should be clothed in the proper tight, leather, black, mini skirt._ The Lieutenant Colonel began gritting his teeth as he cursed the sharp-shooter and what had happened.

"Uh…" Havoc said when he saw Roy's grip tighten on the pen he was writing with. A little tighter and he'd squeeze it so hard all the ink would squirt out.

Just then Hughes entered the room with a smile on his face, "Hey, Roy. You feeling better today?"

Roy just lifted his head and glared at Hughes with a 'don't you even dare' expression plastered on his face.

Hughes saw the hatred boiling in Roy's dark eyes and got nervous. "Umm… Hey, I just wanted to say that that new transfer is supposed to arrive today," he began to wonder if he should have just said this. There was a little thought jumping around in the back of his mind screaming, "Notice me!!! I'm over here!!! Pick me! Pick me!!!" Then it hit him. The little voice ran to the front of his mind. _Roy's really mad right now, and you reminded him of something he didn't want to know. GET OUT NOW! God alone knows how hot his flames will be if he fries you when he's mad._ "Uh... I think I'll go now. I have a lot of work to do…" he said and quickly left the room.

"What's eating him?" Havoc asked curiously after Hughes left.

"Nothing," Roy replied as he got back to his paper. His voice was still somewhat gruff, but held most of its composure. He did care about the new transfer, but he was too angry about last night to really even think about it.

"Oh yeah, we have a new transfer. I almost forgot. I wonder what he's like?" Havoc wondered as he moved the cigarette in his mouth up and down with his tongue. He sat back in his chair and his eyes hit the ceiling, wondering.

"Man, that Roy. He really needs to get along with women. I feel sorry for the girl who gets stuck working with him. Especially after this," Hughes said. Both hands shoved in his pockets and the lively smirk not on his face. His face held a serious expression as his eyes traced the tiles on the ground. He walked down the hallway and to the front entrance. He wasn't sure really what he was going to do there. He was just really, really bored, and if he couldn't bug Roy, he might at least be able to find someone he could talk too.

He looked for a few minutes, but didn't find anyone. Then the fact that only military personnel were on the Central grounds, and he wouldn't find anyone new to talk to hit him. So he took his search outside. He thought he would be able to snag a passerby. After another few minutes of searching with no luck and a slap in the face he learned a new thing. He sat down on the front steps of Central with a sigh. _Never show a woman a picture of an even prettier woman and then boast about it, and there are still no pedestrians here. The only person I managed to get was a woman going to a field training practice._ The Major thought to himself as he rubbed his sore, now red and somewhat swollen cheek.

So Hughes sat on the steps, thinking about various things, and still rubbing his sore cheek. He was about to give up and go back to his office to do some work that should have been finished two days ago. When suddenly he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Excuse me?" said the voice. It was very feminine and beautiful. He knew he'd heard that voice before. Then it hit him. _Oh crap._ He turned to see where the female's voice was coming from. He looked and on the other side of the stairs, up a ways from him, stood the female sharp-shooter from last night. She was talking to another one of the soldiers, asking him where she was supposed to be. She looked very different dressed in the navy blue uniform. It covered up pretty much all her female features. Hughes guessed they did that so men would work instead of stare at her all day. But despite the ugly uniform she was still very beautiful.

_Please tell me this is just a coincidence. Please… oh man, Roy's gonna be so thrilled._ Hughes thought as he stared at her. She didn't even notice he was there. _Well, maybe she isn't the new transfer. Maybe she's just coming here for some documents... or something… in any case I think I'd better find out._ Hughes decided and got up and walked up to the woman and the soldier.

"Hi there, remember me?" Hughes asked as he came up behind her. She turned fast, not knowing who was behind her.

"Oh, it's you. You're the man from last night. Hello," she said with a little smile. She felt better when she found someone she knew, or, kind of knew.

"I didn't know you were in the military," she said as her eyes traced Hughes and his uniform.

"Yup, I had my uniform on last night. I guess too much was going on for you to notice?" Hughes asked with a friendly smile. His hand quickly went to his head as he rubbed the back his skull, as he often did when he was somewhat nervous or embarrassed.

"Yeah," she replied. She returned his smile with a look of relief and contentment.

"I'll take care of her, thanks," Hughes said to the solider she was originally talking to.

"Alright," he replied and walked away.

"So, what are you hear for?" Hughes asked as they walked into Central.

"I'm supposed to be working here starting today, but I have no clue where I'm going. This place is huge," the woman replied as she looked around. All the other people there were men, and they all wore the same navy blue uniforms.

"I see," Hughes said. His voice became a little uneasy and curious. "And what department are you with?" he asked not knowing if he wanted to hear the answer.

"I'm not sure what the department is. But I'm supposed to work with a Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang. I'm his new chief aid."

Hughes stopped dead in his tracks. His stomach seemed to twist into a hundred different knots when he heard that statement. His face turned green as if he just got sick, but there was also a hint of blue like he had stopped breathing. Once he regained himself enough to talk he asked nervously, "And what's your name?"

"Oh sorry," she replied, "I never did tell you, did I?"

"No," he replied.

"It's Riza Hawkeye."

Hughes thought his heart was going to stop. He almost had a panic attack. _Riza Hawkeye… is… Elizabeth Hawkeye…she is the woman who has to work with Roy... and she is the same woman who saved us last night…. God save us all, please… but mostly me... save me!_

"Is something wrong?" Riza asked as she saw Hughes' facial expressions change from happy, to surprise, to fear, to panic, to desperate... and just about everything else.

"Oh no, it' nothing!" Hughes replied. He quickly snapped out of his thoughts and he began rubbing the back of his head again, his smile still nervous.

"Ok…" Riza replied. This man was truly a character. "May I ask your name?"

"Oh yeah, it's Maes Hughes. I'm a Major in the Investigations Department."

"I see, well it's nice to meet you, Hughes."

"Yeah, same here," he replied.

"If you're not busy can you tell me where in supposed to go?" she asked.

"Oh, sure. I'll take you there."

"Thanks."

"It's no trouble, I don't have any work to do," Hughes replied. Once he said the 'I don't have any work to do' thing, the small man nearby sneezed, rather loudly.

"This way," Hughes said as he led the way. They walked through many hallways, and saw many people. On their way they met Major Alex Louis Armstrong.

Hughes introduced Riza to the huge muscle man know as Armstrong. They were talking for 25 minutes about the great Armstrong line.

After they finally escaped Armstrong they began on their way again. "He's really proud of his family roots, isn't he?" Riza said with an unsure smile. Everyone she had met today was weird in someway.

"What? You mean that whole 'passed down through the Armstrong line for generations' thing?" Hughes asked.

"Yes."

"Yep, that's Armstrong. Everything has been passed down the Armstrong line, even if it didn't have anything to do with Armstrong," he replied with a smile and a bit of a chuckle. Riza may have thought they were a little strange, but Hughes was glad the people he worked with were laid-back and not really serious about everything.

"I see," she said as they walked down one of the longer hallways. They were silent for a few minutes.

"You know, I have an even better family then Armstrong," Hughes said with a big smile and reached for his shirt pocket.

"Oh really?" Riza asked. She didn't look at Hughes. She just stared straight ahead, and she hadn't noticed him reaching for anything.

"This is my beautiful wife! Gracia!" Hughes said with a grin that stretched from ear to ear, and he shoved the picture in Riza's face. She had no idea he had done it. All she saw was this woman she didn't even know all the sudden right in her face. It was almost second nature. Her reflexes just snapped and she, in the blink of an eye, pulled out the pistol and shot.

_Bang!_ A single shot was fired.

Hughes stood, shocked. Riza's aim was amazing. She could shoot without even looking. Since it was only a small picture she didn't hit it. Her bullet went into the wall ahead of them. But it was dead center were the person's heart should be, if they were an average sized person, that is.

"Wow…" Hughes said as he stared at the wall. Almost to stunned to speak. "I don't think I have to worry about Riza anymore. It's Roy… he's a dead man…" That was supposed to be a thought, but Hughes was so…. shocked at what Riza could do, that it came out of his mouth instead of staying locked away in his mind.

"What was that?" Riza asked she looked up at him. She heard him mumble something about her and Roy, but she couldn't understand all his words.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," Hughes said nervously.

"Alright. Sorry about the wall. When I get surprised that happens sometimes," she replied with a nervous smile. _Riza, you idiot, don't mess it up on your first day. If anyone asks... that was his fault._

"It's ok," Hughes replied, "Come on, let's go."

"Ok," Riza said as they walked the rest of the way to Roy's office. Hughes was planning on telling Riza all about Gracia, but after that, he wasn't so sure if it was a safe idea.

"We're here," Hughes said as they stood in front of the door. He had his hand on the knob. But before he turned it and opened the door, "Ummmm… Riza?"

"Yes?"

"Can I hold your gun for a minute?" he asked. He wanted her gun so he could be sure she wouldn't shoot once she realized who her new boss was.

"Why?" she asked confused as she stared back at him.

"Just because," Hughes replied.

"Uh... ok…" Riza said and handed him the almost fully-loaded gun.

"Thanks," he replied and then opened the door.

Inside they saw Havoc and Roy sitting at their desks working. They were so used to people running in and out that they didn't look up from their work unless called upon.

"Hughes," Roy began in his usual tone. He knew it was Hughes. He was the only one who bothered him 50 million times a day. "I heard a loud noise a few minutes ago. What was it?" Roy asked not looking up from his desk.

"…. a… gun…shot…" Hughes replied as he held Riza's gun in his hand. Riza stood next to Hughes. It looked like she was frozen. She just stood there staring with a blown away look on her face.

"A gunshot?" Roy asked as both he and Havoc looked up from their work. They wanted to hear the story.

"…" Riza and Roy just stared at each other. A sweat drop appeared on the back of Hughes' head. Havoc just twirled his cigarette, wondering what was going on. Just then his blue eyes became wide and a huge smile appeared on his face.

"Hey, you must be Hawkeye. And you're a chick!" he said with a surprised smile. When Riza didn't answer he was a little confused. He looked back toward Roy to see what his reaction was. Roy had the same look on his face that Riza did, more angered then Riza's, but the same none the less. "Ummm…" he began as he looked back and forth between the two. He wasn't sure what was going on.

The tension in the room sky rocketed. It was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Well nice chatting with you, Roy. But I really have a lot to do so. BYE!" Hughes said and tried to run away. "Oh here," he said and laid Riza's gun on her desk, which was the empty one right across from Havoc's. "Havoc, it's your problem now. Don't let anyone die, ok?"

"Ok?..." Havoc replied as Hughes ran out of the room and down the hall. Roy and Riza still staring at each other, they hadn't moved an inch, like they were statues that were just a little too rough around the edges.

The only movement of Roy's end was the grip he had on his pen. It became so tight that it actually did explode, getting all over Roy and his desk.


	7. When Genders Collide

AN: Hey ya'll just thought I'd tell you. In this fic Havoc is one rank higher then Riza. She's second lieutenant and he's first. Since Riza is new she's lower then him. Once she shows off her skills a little more she gets promoted and he gets demoted. Sorry for telling you that, but I didn't want to do two things, number one was confuse you, and number 2 was get yelled at later because they are the wrong rank. Don't kill/hate me please!

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 7: When Genders Collide

Roy's grip on his pen tightened when he saw who his new Second Lieutenant was. It became so tight that the pen couldn't withstand the crushing force and broke, exploding and getting all over Roy's important documents, desk, uniform, as well as a few spots on his face.

"Ummm…" Havoc was so stunned and lost that he almost didn't know what to say. When Roy's pen exploded and he was too angry to even notice Havoc knew it was time to worry.

"You…" Riza was finally able to speak. Her voice was muffled and gruff. She couldn't fully open her mouth because her tense muscles were keeping her teeth clenched. Her fists were also clenched, so tight that her knuckles were as white as newly fallen snow, but the burning rage she felt boiling in her body could melt that cold snow in a matter of seconds.

"Oh boy…" Havoc said when he saw this. "Yet another war in the military. Peaceful days are gone." The worst part about this was the battle hit way to close to home. Not to mention he didn't know who to root for. He didn't want to get burned, but he didn't want to get shot either. _I know. She can't shoot if she doesn't have her gun._ Havoc thought when his blue eyes hit the silver gun that sat on her empty desk. He slowly reached his arm across his desk and slowly slid it across hers, hoping she wouldn't notice. His eyes darted back and forth between Riza's stunned face and her pistol, catching a glimpse of her to see if he had entered the danger zone or not.

"Don't even think about it," Riza said in a stern tone when she saw Havoc's evilly-plotting fingers slowly slide on her pistol.

"Yes ma'am!" Havoc snapped back fast, his body shot upright as he took the saluting position. He was at Riza's mercy. He was hoping she'd be too busy with Roy to notice him much. _Poor Roy… but I have to let you take the fall this time. Under normal circumstances I'd help you in anyway I could… but… she's got a gun, and she's a woman, she's also got a very scary, yet very beautiful face. Oh man... she's got it all…_

"Why are you saluting her? I'M YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER!" Roy snapped and bolted up from his desk, the sudden jolt caused his chair to fall backwards on the floor.

"Sorry sir, it's nothing personal. I just don't want to get shot," Havoc replied nervously, not moving his body an inch. He could see Roy out of the corner of his eye and that was all he needed.

A disgusted look appeared on Roy's face as he sneered.

"At ease solider," Riza calmly ordered Havoc. She was hoping she could keep this coolness. Her body had finally lost its tense so she could function normally again. How long it would last she was unsure, but she'd do everything in her power not to let Roy ruin her 'perfect solider' reputation.

"Thank you, sir… uh... ma'am... sir? ma'am?" Havoc replied. He'd never had to work with a woman before. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to follow her gender and call her ma'am, or follow the way of the military and call her sir. He nervously but quickly put his arm at his side, but he still stood upright. His backbone was as straight as it was going to get before it snapped.

"Lieutenant Havoc, relax," Riza said. Havoc acting that way made her feel bad, like he was afraid of her or something. Not only that, but he was a higher rank then she was. She was a second lieutenant and he was first, giving a higher ranking officer orders just didn't work.

"I DON'T CARE!" Roy snapped, "YOU DON'T SALUTTE AN OFFICER OF LOWER RANK!"

"Sorry, chief," Havoc replied.

"He has a good point," Riza said nodding. Her amber eyes were closed and her arms were folded over her chest, in a very calm relaxed fashion. She was trying to lessen the tension in the air.

"YOU!" Roy said as he turned his head from Havoc to Riza, "You, stop agreeing with me! We have nothing to agree with! I don't know why you're agreeing with me or why you're even in here! How could someone like you make it to Second Lieutenant? How could someone like you even make it into the military for that matter?"

"I could say the same thing about you," Riza replied, still not bothering to open her eyes.

"WHAT?" Roy burst out, "I'M YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER! YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!"

Havoc just looked back and forth between the two. He wasn't going to say anything that risked his well-being. He just sat back and watched the show, the smoke from his cigarette drifted into the air and around the room. It wasn't much, but it made the already heavy air even heavier, with the hint of burning particles. _Man, I wish I had some popcorn._

"You're right, I'm sorry, Lieutenant Colonel Mustang," Riza replied knowing Roy really was right, but she also liked playing mind games with him. She knew he wasn't expecting that.

"WILL YOU QUIT AGREEING WITH ME? THAT IS A DIRECT ORDER, SECOND LIEUTANET HAWKEYE! STOP AGREEING WITH ME! YOU LOOK SO PATHETIC! LIKE YOU'RE WAITING FOR A BUS! AT LEAST DEFEND YOURSELF!" Roy retorted, about ready to climb over his desk. Then he looked down at it, and saw the black ink splattered all over his 50,000 word report on the coal mine.

…

"AND YOU BROKE MY PEN!" he roared as his gaze snapped back to her. His eyes full of rage and his jaws clenched as he gripped the broken pen even tighter in his fist.

"Well first off, what else am I supposed to say? You said I can't talk to you in that 'bad' manner, but you also said I can't agree with you. So what else am I supposed to say?" Riza asked. "And second, I didn't break your pen, sir. It was your hand, your pen, and your attitude that broke it."

"No," Roy replied, "You did break my pen. Remember before? At the bank when you told me that men's testosterone caused women to choke and die? Well a woman's estrogen, namely yours, surged through this office and that caused my pen to overload and explode. So ha! Women have the same effect men do!"

"How do you know it wasn't you that cause it to explode? I thought I smelled the strong scent of man when I walked in here. The fumes in this place are horrible. I need to get an air freshener in here next time I come. What scent do you like?" Riza asked as she looked at Havoc, who was still smoking his cigarette and trying to stay out of it.

"Uh…" Havoc just stared up at her dumbfounded. He knew Roy was going to yell at him if he answered her, but he also knew she might get offended if he didn't answer her question. Poor Havoc, what was he supposed to do? It was a lose-lose situation. He was going to get the heat from someone and they were both deadly.

"Don't answer that, Havoc," Roy snapped.

"Ok... I guess I'll have to pick it out myself," Riza said. She then sat down at her desk. She saw a box sitting on the floor next to it. It was full of papers and files. She picked it up and looked through it. "I guess this is my work?"

"Yeah, I had Hughes bring it in this morning. Before you arrived," Havoc replied.

"Why Hughes?" Riza asked as she looked at Havoc with curious eyes.

"Because he was here at the time," Roy interrupted. He began cleaning up his ink soaked desk, or he was trying too at least.

"That's going to stain you know," Havoc said as he stared at Roy's uniform, black ink was all over it.

"And you have some on your face," Riza added.

Roy tried to wipe it off, that was a mistake. He just smeared it on his cheek, making it even more noticeable, and not only that, he also got it on his white glove.

"Still there," Havoc said as Roy rubbed his face. His cheek was beginning to turn red from all the rubbing, and he hadn't noticed the ink was also now all over his glove, making the once pearly white fabric different shades of dark and light grey.

_Men… so helpless. What does that man do when there's no one around to help him, I wonder?_ Riza thought to herself as she diverted her attention off Roy and back to the files in the box. She began setting up her desk.

Havoc sat back, relaxed in his seat. He was glad the peace was somewhat restored in this office, but he could tell the air was going to be a lot more stuffy from now on, even with Riza's air freshener. _I wonder how long this silence will last. Maybe I should start selling tickets? I can think of a lot of people who would like to see Riza and Roy duke it out. Yeah, have my own little bleachers right outside the door, 5 dollars a seat, sell popcorn and drinks._ He rubbed his hands together. _I'll make a fortune! _


	8. What 'Really' Goes on in the Office

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 8: What 'Really' Goes on in the Office

Havoc needed to get some calmer air for a moment. The tension in the office had shot sky-high and all the negative vibes being tossed around were giving him a headache. He stood out in the hallway, just outside the door, pondering if he should go back in or not. Maybe he'd go down to the mess hall and get a big pot or pan to put on his head to protect his skull from the flying objects inside. The silence didn't last five minutes after things calmed down. Roy was rubbing the ink off his face and made some weird comment about women and the make up they put on their faces, and the whole mess started up again. _I really could sell tickets._ Havoc thought to himself as he leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets and a cigarette in his mouth. _I'd have to make them sign one of those papers that states 'don't sue me if you get killed during the show' but I'm sure that wouldn't stop most of them from coming. A good show is a good show, right?_

A loud "WHY YOU!" came from inside the room then a giant crash was heard. _Uh-oh…. Roy threw the desk again._ Havoc thought, his blue eyes once again hitting the ceiling as he stood outside, waiting for the more violent part, at least he hoped this was the most violent part, of the storm to blow over.

Just then Armstrong was seen coming down the hall. He wanted to know how the new Second Lieutenant was doing. "Hello there, First Lieutenant Havoc," Armstrong said as he put his large muscular hand on the doorknob.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," Havoc replied, not moving from his relaxed comfortable position.

"And why not?" Armstrong asked as his big face turned to look at Havoc. Only his blond mustache moved when he spoke.

"Just wait," Havoc replied.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" a woman's voice shouted and then a few gunshots fired.

"NOT IF I GET YOU FIRST!"

_Smash! _

_Crash!_

_Smack!_

"Ding, dang, doodle, doobi, doobi, doo," Havoc said as they heard a large amount of destructive sounds coming from inside the door. God alone knew what the office looked like after this, if it was even still there that is. Armstrong stared at Havoc with a strange expression on his face. Havoc just shrugged his shoulders at the mountain man, "What? I had to finish the song."

"Yes, I suppose," Armstrong said in his normal tone, "Let's go see which one of them is dead."

"No! Are you crazy?" Havoc asked as he jumped up. Thus causing his cigarette to fall out of his mouth and to the floor.

"Don't worry, solider. I'll protect you," Armstrong replied as little pink and shiny shapes suddenly appeared around his face and he ripped off his shirt, flexing all his huge muscles. "I've dealt with this many times. Women such as Lieutenant Hawkeye have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!"

Havoc saw the shine coming from Armstrong and covered his eyes, "AH! THE LIGHT! IT BURNS! And how do you make those little shapes appear? I see the same thing with Hughes only little pink hearts when he pulls out his pictures!"

Armstrong mumbled a bunch of little sounds as he flexed, "It's all manpower!" he said as he moved a little closer to Havoc. He wanted the little man to see every detail in his oh-so-perfect muscles. He turned his body so his chest was right in Havoc's unsuspecting face.

"Oh man, put a shirt on before you poke someone's eye out with those," Havoc replied as he backed up a bit, pulling his arm next to his forehead to protect his eyes from the flexing pecks and blinding light that that was coming out of… nowhere?

"Hmmmm..." Armstrong mumbled and walked over to the door, somehow managing to get his shirt on in the two seconds it took from getting from Havoc and back to the door.

"Don't open it," Havoc said again.

"You men are so incompetent! How do you make it on your own when you're single?" they heard Riza yell from inside the room and another gunshot was fired.

More loud crashing noises were heard as the yelling continued. The two outside the door could hear the light explode and guessed Riza had tried to shoot Roy, but Roy moved just in time to miss the bullet.

"That light in on the ceiling…" Havoc began, "How did Mustang manage to get Hawkeye to aim up there?"

"Maybe Hawkeye was low to the ground and he was standing on a desk," Armstrong replied.

"But I heard Mustang throw his desk before you came."

"Maybe it was yours."

Tears that looked like milk began streaming down Havoc's face, "Do you know how long it took me to set that desk up in such a way that I could find everything? I get stuck suffering in this wither I'm in the room or not."

"Let's stop them before they one another," Armstrong said in his normal tone and turned the sliver knob.

"WAIT!" Havoc said and franticly dashed behind the big man's body. _At least this can act like shield._ He thought as he stood behind Armstrong's body, peeking out beside his huge arm.

Armstrong opened the door fast, but not all the way. "Lieutenant Colonel? Second Lieutenant Hawkeye? I just came to see how you were doing when I heard all the commotion," he said as he and Havoc peeked around the door.

"Uhhh…" Havoc said nervously as he saw two evil glares turn and look at them. Suddenly he felt a painful chilling sensation shoot down his back. It made the little hairs on the back of his neck stand on end_. Death glares… that's such a cheat in battles, and why the hell doesn't it affect the person it's 'really' meant for. It always seems to get the unsuspecting guy in the corner, or the comic relief guy. I think I'll get Hughes on this after this is over. I want to know if this is a legal move in battle._ Havoc thought to himself for a few seconds.

Riza's back was turned toward them. She cocked her head enough that her flaming amber eyes could see the two men peeking at her. She had her pistol in her hand.

Roy was at the end of the room. The black ink was still smeared on his face and uniform. He was taking shelter behind his desk, which was lying on its side and had tons of bullet indentations in it. Luckily the room had no sign of being burned. Roy hadn't used his alchemy yet. But the room was a mess. All the desks were more or less in shambles, the three chairs were scattered out around the room, papers sat on the floor crinkled and ripped, and the bookshelf was knocked over and the books lay on the floor all around it. The light blue walls were full of bullet holes and the light that used to be on the ceiling lay on the floor, glass all around it, the wires were still connected to the light. Both of the men's blue eyes followed the wires and saw that they were still attached to the ceiling, coming from a big hole in the roof, flickering and sparking.

Havoc was once again crying milk tears. _Not only did my desk suffer, but the whole room did. That poor office, or even more so, poor me, Hawkeye and Mustang are going to kill me next time this happens, and I don't have time to escape. If worse comes to worse, I guess I could jump out the window. It's a few stories up so I might break a leg or two, but hey, I'm alive, right?_

There was silence as Armstrong stared at the room, almost in shock, Roy and Riza still glaring at them. "YOU WITCH!" Roy yelled and broke the silence. As he yelled this he threw one of the legs from one of the desks. He wasn't sure which desk it belonged too, but he also didn't care. He just grabbed whatever was lying nearby and threw it.

"YOU PIG!" Riza replied and shot again.

_Bang!_

Roy ducked behind his desk/shield once again. Once he heard Riza reloading her gun he popped his head out and grabbed one of the chairs and threw it. It missed Riza by a few feet.

"Stay out of here!" Riza yelled to Armstrong and Havoc as the chair came flying toward them. Roy didn't mean for it to go that way, it just did.

Armstrong still stared with that usual blank expression on his face. He didn't seem to notice the chair coming his way.

"I SAID STAY OUT!" Riza yelled again and pointed her gun at them. She knew they'd get away if there was a gun pointed between their eyes.

"GAHHHHHHH!!" Havoc screamed then reached around Armstrong's large body and grabbed his hand, which still held the door handle, and pulled as hard as he could getting the door to close in the blink of an eye. The door slammed and they heard the chair hit the wood with a loud thud and then a bullet puncture it.

Havoc leaned against the wall and slid down the floor with a huge sigh. "Now I know I'm gonna get killed," he mumbled. He felt like crying those milk tears again. "How do we stop them?"

Just then Hughes showed up with a small wave and a big smile, "How's it going?"

Havoc and Armstrong just stared at him.

"What's wrong?" Hughes asked as his smile turned to a confused look and his wave stopped.

"Hawkeye and Mustang are killing the office," Havoc replied.

"Oh really?" Hughes asked.

Armstrong nodded in reply.

"Are they doing a good job?" they both nodded this time. "Sounds fun. Wanna go watch?"

"NO!" Havoc cried and grabbed Hughes leg begging, "Please don't, don't open the door again, PPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSEEEEEEEE!!!!"

"How could we do that?" Armstrong asked, just curious to see what Hughes answer would be.

"There's a window in there, isn't there? Anyone got a rope?" he asked with a smile. His glasses lit up as they did when he had an evil idea, "It's our duty anyway. We have to make sure our friends don't kill each other, right? It's only right we check up on them."

Havoc and Armstrong just stared at each other, unsure of what was going to happen next.


	9. The Stress of Work Can Really Get Under

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 9: The Stress of Work Can Really Get Under One's Skin

"Ok," Hughes said as he went over his mental checklist. He, Havoc, and Armstrong were standing in the alleyway below the office window. The military had so many different departments that they needed more then one building. The big monuments were lined up, side by side, on the Central grounds. It was a really disgusting place, the alleyway, not to mention it was tiny and dark. Dumpsters with stinking trash, empty boxes, and stray garbage lay on the cold, dirty concrete. It wasn't much different from an alley you saw on the street, except there were no thugs to worry about.

"So is that everything?" Armstrong asked as he looked over the supplies Hughes held in his arms.

"I think so," Hughes replied. He had the chain, well three chains, one for each of them. They wanted a rope, but couldn't find one. So they were going to go around and beg for people's shoelaces to tie together and make a rope when it hit them. The only people nearby worked for the military, and they all have to wear black boots as part of their uniform, so that wasn't going to work. All they were left with was to search the Central building, err… buildings. They did that and all they came up with was a few chains. It wasn't the best thing (in their minds) but it would have to do. Also in his arms were pots for each of them to wear on their heads, incase they were spotted. He also had freshly popped popcorn. It smelled so good and buttery. They wanted drinks too, but they were pretty sure they'd spill on the way up.

"Yup, that's everything," Havoc replied. He was still a little nervous, but the two men he was with assured him this was totally safe and no one was going to get hurt.

"Ok," Hughes replied as he let Armstrong and Havoc take their pots. Armstrong's was too small. He had a hard time fitting the small pan around his large bald skull.

"Would you like to do the honors?" Hughes asked as he held the chains out to Armstrong.

"Why of course. I can get this chain up there, boys. Don't you worry; this method of throwing has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!" Armstrong replied as he threw the first chain as hard a he could. Lucky for our military men, there was a post sticking out of the building a ways above the window. What it was there for? They had no clue. It was there before the military purchased the building and fixed it up, made it bigger, used it for purposes other then a nuthouse, you know, the usual. All they could think of was it was convince that they always seemed to acquire at times like this.

"He did it!" Havoc said with a smile as the chain flew above the post then fell over it. The end of the chain fell back down to the military dogs. Hughes grabbed it and held it firmly. Then he smiled at his friends, showing them it was a successful throw.

"Number two!" Armstrong yelled and threw the second chain, but not before he got a chance to flex his muscles again.

"Armstrong, put the shiny light away. We have work to do," Hughes replied in a fatherly voice as he held the first chain. Havoc had the one Armstrong had just thrown.

"Oh, right," Armstrong replied. He once again managed to get his shirt back on in the few seconds it took to throw the last chain. By the time it came back down to him he had his navy blue uniform back on and fully buttoned.

_How does he do that?_ Havoc still wondered. _If I could make a shiny light and weird little shapes appear around my face would I use it in such a meaningless and annoying way?... HECK YEAH!_

"Ok, are we ready?" Hughes asked as he looked over his troops. The two men saluted their leader. "At ease," Hughes replied and somehow the men managed to get the chain around their waists and stay that way without falling off.

Then our boys looked up at the sky. The shapes of the clouds reflected off Hughes' glasses. They saw their target above them. "Hmmm…" Armstrong gave a little bit of a growl, or was it a mumble? No one could tell. He did this every time he was about to go into battle or when he was flexing his pecks.

Hughes just stared at the post. He took a deep breath then said, "We who are about to die, salute you."

"Die? I thought you said this was safe!?" Havoc said as his head snapped from the sky to Hughes' square-shaped glasses.

Hughes just shrugged. "I had to say something; at least you were having a good time up until just now and not worried the whole time, right?"

A big drop of sweat appeared on the back of Havoc's head. He looked down and tired to undo the chain, but it was stuck. Armstrong laid a large hand on his shoulder. Havoc's blue eyes widened. _Oh no... Not the light…it burns…_

"Don't worry, Lieutenant Havoc. I shall protect you from harm!" Armstrong shouted just as the light appeared. He was about to pull his shirt off again when Hughes grabbed his arm.

"We've seen it! You can't show us your god-like muscles all the time. If you do, then your 'great line of Armstrong generations' will lose its affect and no one will care if you're strong anymore."

"Hmm…!" Armstrong replied as he stopped his current pose to stare at Hughes. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, greatness is only something that should be witnessed a few times in some one's entire life," Hughes replied.

Havoc was in the background smiling. _Thank you, Hughes. You and your crazy ideas are truly a lifesaver. My eyes shall live to see another day._

"Ok, let's go up. Riza and Roy could be in danger and we might be missing something good. Also, our popcorn is getting cold," Hughes said as he pulled on the side of the chain that Armstrong had thrown. They tied one end of the chain to their waists, and they were going to pull on the opposite side. By doing this the chain would get pulled around the post hoisting them into the air.

"Are you sure this will work?" Havoc asked as he watched Armstrong and Hughes pull themselves up.

"It's working so far!" Hughes called down to him. His voice was muffled. He had the popcorn bag in-between his teeth. It didn't take them long at all the reach their destination. Well not for Hughes and Armstrong, Havoc was only halfway up. He was having trouble pulling his chain.

Hughes and Armstrong stayed below the window. They didn't want Riza and Roy to see them spying, especially after what happened earlier.

"Can you see them?" Armstrong asked as Hughes peeked into the window. Then he handed the popcorn bag down to Armstrong, who held it carefully between his knees.

"Yeah, Riza is standing by the window, her back facing us. Roy is on the other end of the room, by the door and he is facing her."

"Is Hawkeye all right?" Armstrong asked as he peeked over the window next to Hughes.

"Yeah," Hughes replied as they both watched. The hot steam coming from their nostrils was leaving a fog on the window's cold glass.

"Are they both alive?" Havoc yelled up to them. He couldn't go up any higher. His chain was snagged on a rusty part of the post or something. He wasn't too sure what was wrong. All he knew was he couldn't go up any farther. So he just hung there, suspending in mid-air. His body swung back and forth unsteadily. He looked down at the ground below him and gulped.

"Yeah! If both of them being alive is what you mean by all right!" Hughes shouted back.

"What are they doing?" Havoc asked as his attention went back up to his superiors.

"Well, Roy's about to... He's about to…" Hughes began to reply as he watched his friend through the glass. Roy was getting very fed up with this. He stood up straight and held his hand out toward Riza.

"Well?" Havoc asked again.

"He's…" Hughes said as they watched Roy put his fingers together. Hughes once calm and amused expression quickly turned to panic.

"He's what?" Havoc asked with an annoyed look on his face. Then he heard Roy's voice. He was shouting something at Hawkeye, but he couldn't make out what it was. Then they saw the swift movement of Roy's fingers.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Hughes screamed as he saw a red blast coming at them. "GO DOWN! GO DOWN!" he yelled as he franticly began pulling on the chain. Armstrong had a surprised and worried look on his face as he and Hughes started down, but their chains had a hard time moving. The metal kept snagging on the rusty post. Their bodies began swaying back and forth uncontrollably as they tried to get down. It was really comical seeing two grown men swinging to and fro in the air. It was truly one of those 'you don't see this everyday' moments.

"Ouch!" Hughes snapped. "Watch it!" he shouted when his body swung and collided with Armstrong.

"What's wrong?" Havoc yelled. Then he heard it, a loud rumble. _Oh crap…! _He thought as he saw the glass in the window suddenly explode into a million pieces and huge red flames came shooting out from broken window frame along with lots of dark heavy smoke.

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Hughes screamed as he and Armstrong were thrown backwards by the shock wave and began falling to the ground. The explosion had not only exploded the window, but the old metal post that was their lifeline also came down.

"OH CRAP!!!!" Havoc yelled as he too began falling.

Armstrong didn't scream, but he had a worried look on his face. He and Hughes' bodies began changing angles, so their backs were facing the concrete below. Hughes was just a few inches above Armstrong. Since Armstrong was the biggest and heaviest he'd hit the ground first.

Hughes screamed like a little girl as he clung to the chain that was no longer supported by anything. "AHHHHHH! NO! THIS COULD SCTRACH THE FACE OF MY PICTURES! GRACIA!"

Armstrong glanced back at the sky. Just a few feet above him he saw Riza. She had jumped out the window just before Roy's flames fried her.

Roy heard a loud thud. He expected it to be Riza, but it wasn't, it was Armstrong. He had landed hard on the concrete, Hughes and Riza landed on top of him. But poor Havoc. Since he had the lowest position he hit the ground first… meaning….

"Armstrong... please... get off... my back…" Havoc squeaked. His voice quiet and slurred from the pain and lack of oxygen. His head and right arm stuck out from under Armstrong's heavy body. The pot he was originally wearing on his head lay a few inches away.

"Sorry about that," Armstrong said as they all got up. Hughes and Armstrong attended to Havoc, while Riza looked back up at the blown out, charred, smoke filled window frame.

"That should do it," Roy said as he stuck his hands in his pockets, a smirk on his face. The office was destroyed. Everything was burned and on fire except for what was behind Roy, and all that was was the back wall. The area behind Roy was still the original light blue, but the color changed the farther in the room you got. It went from light blue, to light grey, to dark grey, to black. The items that used to be desks and chairs were lying on the floor, black and crumbling to pieces as the wind came in the broken window and swept them away.

"What happened in here?" a solider asked as he and two other men rushed in. Their jaws dropped when they saw the office.

"We had a little fire, no big deal," Roy replied and was about to walk out of the destroyed room when he heard Riza's voice coming from outside.

"Hey, Lieutenant Colonel!" Riza yelled from the bottom of the alley. "I knew you couldn't do anything right!"

Havoc, Hughes, and Armstrong jumped up fast. Their jaws were now dropping as well. "She just got blasted out of a window by a huge explosion, and she still insults him? What kind of person are you?" Havoc asked.

"That's our Riza," Hughes said with a little laugh. Since the whole 'falling from a few stores up' thing was over and everyone was ok he was back to his normal cheerful self.

"Look what you just did to the office! How could you have even thought of doing something that stupid?" Riza snapped. They all stared up at the smoking window. As the smoke began to clear they could make out a body, it was Roy, and his dark eyes were glaring down at Riza. This fight was far from over, and it had been taken way too far, this proved it!


	10. Who Knew Green Slime Could Reek of so Mu

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 10: Who Knew Green Slime Could Reek of so Much Trouble?

Roy stood in the window glaring down at Riza with dark scornful eyes. He was fixed on the blond-haired woman. _How did she make it out of that one without even a little scratch?_ He wondered, and then he saw Havoc, Armstrong, and Hughes standing a few feet behind her. _Hughes... it figures._ His eyebrow twitched as he closed his eyes and his body tensed up.

"He's mad," Havoc said as they stared up at their commanding officer.

"Yup, let's hope Roy gives us the cold shoulder, literally," Hughes replied as he stared up at him.

_Hmm… would it be alright?_ Roy wondered to himself as he stared down at his men. _They did go against my orders. I won't kill them. Would the heat be over doing it?_

"Why is he just standing there?" Armstrong asked.

_I could always say it was punishment. Yes._ Roy said nodding to himself. _Yes, it's just punishment. Bad little doggies in the military need their bottom smacked every once in awhile._ Roy decided as a smirk appeared on his face.

"What's he doing?" Havoc said as they all stared at Roy. Riza saw the look in Roy's eyes and the smirk on his face. She knew he was up to something and got ready to move and protect herself.

"I'll show you what I'm doing, Havoc," Roy replied as he held out his hand. His palm was facing the sky and his fingers were in position. He was about to snap his fingers and fry them when Hughes rudely interrupted.

"Hey Roy!" Hughes yelled up to his superior. "Are you mad? We weren't helping Riza! Honest! We were-" he was about to say they were spying when Havoc elbowed him in the stomach. "Augh!" Hughes grabbed his aching stomach and fell to his knees, gasping for air.

"You baby, I didn't hit you that hard," Havoc mumbled as he watched Hughes. Then he looked back up at Roy. "We were looking for nice ladies in mini skirts! Or mini skirts we could give to you so you could get ladies of your very own to wear! And maybe even a girl for me, too!"

"Mini skirts? In an alleyway…" Roy replied as he folded his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow. He didn't believe a word of it.

"Yes! In an alleyway!" Havoc stopped to think for a moment. _There's no way he'll believe that. I've got to come up with something better. Ah! I know._ "It's the best place to find hookers! They always have on nice mini skirts!"

Flames appeared in Riza's eyes as she glared at Havoc. Then she quickly and angrily walked over to the sandy-blond haired man. She stood in front of him, glaring at him.

"Uh? Did you want something, Hawkeye?" Havoc asked rather nervously.

In the blink of an eye she bent down and punched him in the stomach, a lot harder then Havoc had elbowed Hughes. You could actually hear the air in his lungs being forced out in an "auughhh" moan. He wrapped his arms around his mid-drift and bent down low. He too was now gasping for air.

"It's not so pleasant... now is it?" Hughes asked. His once cheerful and loud voice was now in a whisper as he tried to catch his breath.

Havoc just stared back at him with a 'you've gotta be kidding me' look on his face. "She just punched me as hard as she could in the stomach. I barley hit you. You have no right to be complai-" he didn't even get a chance to finish his moaning, quiet sentence. Just as fast as Riza punched him in the stomach, she spun around and gave him a hard kick, right in the face. This sending him flying backwards and to the ground, causing him to land on his back some five-six feet away.

She walked over to where he lay and glared down at him. "How dare you say something like that? Using women like that! Calling them hookers! To make things even worse! I'm standing in this alley right now, aren't I! Are you going to call me a hooker now?" she snapped.

Roy looked down at Riza with a smile, "Well if the hooker boot fits!"

Riza glared back up at him. "You're wearing the same boot as I am, Lieutenant Colonel! Does that mean you're a male hooker?"

Roy's smirk then quickly turned from satisfied to a disgusted look. _How dare she say that? Hmmm… I wonder what Riza really would look like in hooker boots?_

"Well are you?" Riza demanded Roy to answer her question, snapping him out of his fantasies of her in mini skirts and hooker boots.

"NO!" Roy retorted.

"I thought so," Riza replied.

Hughes, Havoc, and Armstrong just stood to the side watching. They were a small distance behind and to the left Riza. It wasn't a lot, but enough. They couldn't believe what they were hearing. It blew them away that Riza had enough courage to talk to Roy like that. Maybe it wasn't courage? Maybe it was just stupidity. They had no idea if they should intervene or not. "There's no way any woman would buy you!"

Roy's teeth clenched together and he growled and mumbled to himself_. This woman is truly more trouble then she's worth and now she has my men under her estrogen spell. I've seen this before. This is what happens when men get married. Poor Hughes, he's fallen under it twice now. I think it's time I put her in her place. _Roy didn't give his trademark smirk this time. He was too furious too. No one has ever spoken to him like that before.

_He's gonna do it. I know he is._ Riza thought to herself as she studied Roy's body movements carefully. She knew the boys behind her wouldn't get out of the way in time and she felt bad about that, but it is kind of their own faults. They came spying all on their own. If they would have stayed away like she told them to, then they wouldn't be stuck in the middle of this. _Yes Riza, don't feel guilty about it later. It's their own faults and they have to learn somehow. He would never kill them. Not his own men. They'll just be in pain awhile. They'll get over it._ Riza just kept telling herself over and over. She wasn't the kind of person to leave anyone behind in battle, but this wasn't your normal battle. She stood still as a deer as she watched Roy. She didn't move an inch. She knew Roy's skills were just as sharp as hers and if she moved he'd blast her. She was going to let him make the first move and then she'd dodge it.

"I'm done fighting with women. Maybe this will teach you to respect men!" Roy roared and snapped his fingers with great focus and anger. Suddenly a great heat wave was felt and then an enormous flame came charging toward them. This flame was different. Most of Roy's flames were just regular fire, but this one. This one was very different. It was almost as if Roy's very own hatred and anger came shooting out of his very soul and mixed in with the orange and yellow sparks, giving the flame a deadly red glow.

Riza's eyes widened. She couldn't leave Hughes, Havoc, and Armstrong to burn in this. The idea of her dodging it and leaving them went right out the window. "HEY! GET AWAY NOW!" Riza snapped as the flame came barreling toward them. The heat was incredible. It almost felt like it was melting their clothes into their skin. The men were so overwhelmed by the giant flame, along with the intense heat, that their brains weren't functioning right. It's like they had lost all common sense and were lost, staring into the red glowing flame with fear and uncertainty.

"WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Riza yelled. They weren't paying attention to her at all. _Eurg… men…_ she sneered with an annoyed expression on her face and raised her pistol, pointing it straight in the air. _This better get their attention._ The loud crack of the gun at point-blank rage was the jolt they needed to knock them out of their current state. Havoc and Hughes screamed as loud as they could.

Armstrong's senses quickly came back to realty. Without missing a beat he grabbed the two screaming men. "Come on boys, it's time to move! This form of sprinting has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!" he roared and charged away and out of harm. Hughes and Havoc clinging to each of Armstrong's muscular arms, praying that he wouldn't drop them and that Roy's flame wouldn't kill them. Armstrong easily cleared the flame's area of attack and got them out of the way.

Riza gave a relived smile when she saw they were now safe. Then she looked up and saw the flame right above her. She didn't have time to run away. All she could do was jump inside one of the nasty stinking dumpsters. _I can't believe I have to do this. He is so dead when this blows over._ She thought, but she knew it was either that, or die in a ring of fire. Riza ran as fast as she could to the nearest dumpster, held her nose, jumped in, and closed the lid with a loud clang. She knew the fire couldn't get her in there.

The flame hit the ground hard. The impact sounded like a bomb explosion. The heat hitting the dumpster was immeasurable. It popped the rubber tires and melted some of the metal. Riza was lucky and didn't suffer any injuries. For a moment she didn't know if she could breathe because of the intense heat. The hot air made her throat and lungs burn like mad and her eyes water. After the flame disappeared the alley looked totally different. It looked like there really was a bomb explosion. The concrete was now black and charred. The plastic bags had melted into the ground and the other stray trash had evaporated in the flames. All the trashcans had been knocked over and the garbage inside them burned furiously creating a few small fires, but nothing serious. The smoke was so thick it was a dark black color and awful to breathe. It felt like there was tar in it and it clogged your windpipe when you inhaled it.

"Where's Riza?" Hughes asked as they ran back to the area. He was covering his mouth and nose with his blue sleeve to keep at least some of the nasty smoke out. Even after it was over the intense heat still radiated in the area, it made the men's eyes water and sting. After a few minutes the wind picked up and began blowing the dark smoke away. Roy just stood in his current position. His arms were folded over his chest. He watched, curious to find out what happened to his new Second Lieutenant.

"I don't see her. I think she got away. There'd be body if she was still here," Havoc replied. None of them could believe the damage Roy had inflicted on the alley and the fact it was only one flame made it even more unbelievable.

"Then where is she?" Hughes replied as they looked around the alley. They checked every nook and cranny. If she was knocked out and hurt they didn't want to miss her.

Riza pushed up hard on the dumpster lid, but the weight was too much for her to lift. Not only that, but the heat had melted the three of the four corners on the lid making it almost impossible to lift.

"Second Lieutenant Hawkeye? Are you here? Can you hear me?" she heard Armstrong say in his normal tone. Then she felt a big jerk and she fell forward, hitting her head on the wall of the dumpster. Armstrong had moved it forward to see if she made gotten behind it.

Riza rubbed her sore head for a moment then it hit her. _They're out there looking for me. I can get out._ She began pounding on the wall of the dark dumpster with her fists. It was too dark to see anything and the rotten stench of old food began to make her feel sick.

Armstrong heard the pounding on the inside of the dumpster. "Hmmm… I think she's in here."

Hughes ran over to the huge metal can while Havoc casually walked over. "Riza, are you ok?" Hughes yelled as he put his ear against the dumpster, hoping to hear Riza's reply.

"GET ME OUT! IT STINKS!" he heard her yell.

Hughes stood up straight and put his hands on the lid trying to lift it, but he couldn't get it to budge either. "Havoc, give me a hand with this," he said as he pushed. Havoc walked up next to him and began pushing. They couldn't do it even with the both of them.

Armstrong watched the two men struggle and walked up behind them, laying a big hand on their little shoulders. His blond mustache made the shape of a smile as the little pink shapes retuned to his face. "Let me get this, boys. Lifting things such as this have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!" he said as Havoc and Hughes were more or less pushed out of the way. Armstrong grabbed one end of the dumpster lid and began tugging. It quickly began to give way as he peeled the lid off, like a can opener.

Once the lid was of Armstrong threw it across the alley and Riza's head quickly shot out of the dumpster, gasping for a breath of fresh air.

"Riza, are you alright?" Hughes asked as he ran up next to the dumpster, "Eww, you stink," he said as he grabbed his nose. Riza gave him an annoyed look.

"I'm fine," she said as she climbed out of the smelly pit. Her black boots hit the ground with a 'squish' noise. She looked down and saw this disgusting green liquid clinging to the fabric of her pants from about her knees down. It looked like green slime and smelled like the specialty meat they had for lunch last month. Riza got the sickest look on her face. She bent over a little. The closer you got the nastier it smelled. She wasn't sure if she wanted to wipe it off or not in fear the smell would cling to her hands.

Armstrong, Hughes, and Havoc stared at Riza's legs with a 'boy I'm glad I didn't try that' look on their faces. Roy was a little angry that Riza didn't fry, but this quickly made up for it. He got an amused smile on his face as he yelled, "That's gonna stain you know!"

Riza glared up at him. That made her even angrier then the fighting before. She didn't care about her hands for that moment. She bent over and reached down then she ran her fingers up and down her pant legs trying to get as much of the gook as she could. Once she had a reasonable amount she looked up at Roy with a sweet smile, "Once you superior men find out how to get the stain out, CALL ME!" she yelled and threw the green slime as hard as she could. The ball Riza had made didn't last long. As it went airborne it began to fall apart and some of it landed on pavement with a sticky nasty splash.

Roy's eyes were on the nasty green gook. This is what Riza was counting on. She wanted to use it to get his attention and it worked. She quickly pulled out her gun and pointed it at Roy. She wasn't going to shoot him. Just do enough damage that he'd get all the crap about women and men's jobs out of his head. She was about to pull the trigger when a booming voice was heard.

"Stop this right now!" a man shouted as he walked out him front of Riza. It was a big dark skinned man. He was very tall, muscular, and had a black mustache. He was known as Basque Gran and he was the Brigadier General.

Riza, Havoc, Armstrong, and Hughes all stopped dead in their tracks and saluted the not so friendly looking General. He stood perfectly straight, he's uniform held several different medals and his big arms were folded behind his back. They sat low near the bottom of his back. He sneered at them all. Apparently one of the soldiers that had seen Roy's office ran and told him there was a big fight. He thought it made the military look bad, which made him look bad, so he came to stop it. "What do you think is going on here?" he roared. Even Roy looked kind of nervous.

Riza was the most nervous of all. Remember that green slime ball she threw? Yup... it was heading right over Gran's big head and was still falling apart at a rapid pace. "Permission to speak, sir?" she asked in her 'perfect solider' tone.

"Denied, you have no reason to say anything unless it's to explain what you were thinking in that idiot head of yours when you started this up," Gran snapped back.

"But sir," Hughes tried to cut in, he too saw the slime.

"Dishonorable, first you start a fight and let it explode into this," he glanced at the alleyway. "And then you think it's ok to talk to me like that. You're all a disgrace to this city and this military."

_Oh no... Oh please no..._ Riza thought as she glanced at the slime ball then at Gran. She didn't want him to notice her amber eyes slipping away from him every now and then.

"I want an explanation now!" he snapped and pointed his finger at the ground in front of him. Just as soon as he said 'now' and his finger lined up with the ground below it the slime came oozing down on top of him, at a very fast pace. Everyone's jaw nearly dropped. Riza closed her eyes tight as they slime fell right across General Gran. There was a line of nasty green on the ground. It began about three feet from him then made its way to his body and up his perfect navy blue uniform, it went up his chest and fell across his left shoulder then it ran down his back.

_That's not good. Riza's dead, let's just hope I don't get blamed for that._ Roy thought as he looked down at his subordinates.

Gran lifted his left arm. There was green slime on his sleeve. His body tensed in anger as he stared at the nasty stuff. His head snapped up to the soldiers and his voice was booming, louder then it was before and Roy's flame explosion combined. "I want to see all of you in the Fuhrer's office as of now!"


	11. Under New Management

AN: Hi peoples, just wanted to inform you that I have no clue how Gran's or King Bradley's personalities are supposed to be. So don't let it surprise you if they are out of character. I've seen them like, a total of one time and they didn't even speak, ok maybe one sentence at the most, but you know what I mean. So I wanted to warn and apologize before hand that they are probably out of character.

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 11: Under New Management

Before any of them knew it they were standing in the Fuhrer's office waiting to hear what he had to say. General Gran had just gone over all the damages the little group had caused and it was a very long list to say the least. Gran was sure to include every single little detail. He wanted them to pay dearly. "I see," the Fuhrer said as he thought about what he was just told. His black eye patch and smile were present. It seemed no matter what happened the Fuhrer always had that same smile on his face. He leaned back in his big black chair as he thought about what to do with them.

_He's smiling._ Riza thought to herself. _That has to be one good sign, right?_ She and Roy were dead center in front of the Fuhrer's large desk. Havoc, Hughes, and Armstrong stood behind them a few feet and in a straight line going by height that lead toward the door at the other end of the room. Gran stood across from them with a large smile on his face. He was hoping they'd get thrown out of the military. Especially Roy, he knew how determined Roy was to overthrow both himself and King Bradley to become the new Fuhrer.

As Bradley pondered about what he should do he turned his chair around so his back was facing them.

It was late. They could all see the world outside through the windows behind the Fuhrer and his large desk. It was dark outside; the sun had gone down along time before. Riza put all her weight on one leg and another 'squish' noise was heard. She looked down and saw the green slime had tracked trough the office and was settling down on the nice red carpet. On the left side of the room, a few feet away from the Fuhrer's desk sat a nice black leather couch. A few nice paintings hung in the large room. Several bookshelves were also present. The walls looked even whiter in the artificial light being created by the lights that were built into the ceiling. _Oh great, not only am I in trouble, but now I'm making a mess. This is carpet. You can't just mop it up._ Riza thought. A nervous but concealed expression appeared on her face as she stared down at the floor. The nasty smell was radiating off Riza's and Gran's bodies and was making the air very unpleasant to breathe, but the unsure and nervous tension in the air was covering up most of the smell. Or so Riza guessed and hoped. It was either being covered up, or everyone was just too nervous to show that they smelled anything.

After a few moments the Fuhrer finally spoke. He turned his black chair toward them and leaned forward, putting his hands folded on his desk. "I have come to a decision."

Riza and Roy listened closely, unsure if they really wanted to hear what he had to say_. Please let this not be so bad. I hope this doesn't interfere with my promotion. It was all her fault anyway. The Fuhrer can surly see that. Yes, I'm sure he can._ Roy thought as a calm smile appeared on his face.

_What's he smiling about?_ Riza wondered as her amber eyes traveled to the man standing next to her, her body not moving an inch.

"I've gone over the report carefully and I can clearly see the problem. Second Lieutenant Hawkeye, Lieutenant Colonel Mustang. I have decided to give you both an assignment as your punishment. You are now assigned on a mission. You will both go to the outskirts of town and take care of the street gangs over there. Apparently, the police have been having real problems with them for quite awhile now. None of their men have the skills to take them down, and after seeing the damage you two have caused and neither of you have a scratch. I see you are perfectly qualified to take on this assignment," he informed them, "Now, I am well aware of the situation between you two, and Mustang, I know you are the commanding officer, but on this mission I give Lieutenant Hawkeye my permission to go over your head and avoid orders if she thinks it is needed."

"Why's he doing that?" Havoc whispered to Armstrong.

"Probably so the Lieutenant Colonel can't order Hawkeye to do something that would get her killed," Armstrong replied. They quickly snapped back to their original state when they saw Gran evilly glare at them from the other side of the room.

Riza stood firm. She wasn't at all pleased with this decision, but her 'perfect solider' self wouldn't allow her to blow off the Fuhrer. _Look at the bright side. At least you didn't get court marshaled, and you don't have to listen to all of the Lieutenant Colonel's orders._ She told herself as her face remained calm and collected. There was no way she was going to show the Fuhrer any of her disgust after he spared her.

Roy on the other hand, didn't hold back any of his emotions. Maybe he forgot he was talking to the Fuhrer, maybe he didn't think he'd get in trouble for voicing his opinion, or maybe he bumped his head in the fight. No one knew what it was, but they all knew it wasn't the wisest thing to do. "WHAT?" Roy snapped as he slammed both hands down hard on the Fuhrer's neat and tightly desk and began yelling. He leaned in close to the Fuhrer's face, close enough that he could smell the Fuhrer's breath; it was strawberry fruit roll ups.

"Uh, Roy," Hughes said as he turned his body and held out his arm. He was about to go after Roy when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Armstrong and he motioned his head to the other end of the room. Hughes looked over and saw General Gran still glaring at them.

"If you move I'll pound you into the ground," Gran instructed as he held up his hand, transforming his fist into iron with his alchemy. Hughes gulped and took his original position. All he could do was hope the Fuhrer was a comical man.

"How can you make a decision like that? Allowing that woman to go over my head at her own wishes, that's totally and utterly absurd!" Roy barked.

Everyone in the room just stared. Riza wanted to pounce at Roy's words, but she managed to remain calm.

"Calm down, Lieutenant Colonel," the Fuhrer interrupted Roy's incensed shouting.

"Or what?" Roy snapped, "I have something very important to say!"

"And you have said it," the Fuhrer replied calmly, "But I have decided to keep my decision the same despite your feelings. I already knew you'd be sore about this, but I feel it is what I must do."

"Lieutenant Colonel, please stop shouting," Riza said in her usual cool tone. She didn't want Roy to get in more trouble then he was already in. She didn't like it anymore then he did, but she knew they deserved what he had given them. Also, Riza couldn't stand Roy's voice anymore, and her not being allowed to snap back made it even worse.

"Or what?" Roy snapped as he glared back at Riza.

"Or you'll be demoted below Hawkeye," the Fuhrer interrupted.

"WHAT?" Roy asked as his head snapped back toward the Fuhrer, disbelief displayed all over his face.

"You heard me. I will demote you to Second Lieutenant. Havoc will be promoted to Lieutenant Colonel and Hawkeye to first Lieutenant, thus leaving you beneath her and at her mercy."

"…" Roy had no idea what to say to defend himself against that. Even if he did know what to say he probably wouldn't have said it in fear he'd get demoted.

"Good," King Bradley said with satisfaction in his voice, "I'm glad you took me up on my offer."

"Yes, sir," Roy said as he stepped back from the Fuhrer's desk and back next to Riza. He didn't say or show it, but the Fuhrer could tell that he was greatly annoyed. He was proud of Roy for holding it all back, as a solider should. But he was even more impressed with Riza. She must have been cross with him after this, but she didn't show any hint of it.

"There is a second part to this punishment," the Fuhrer instructed. "Mustang, Hawkeye, Havoc, Armstrong, and Hughes are ordered to clean up the mess in the office as well as the alley. Mustang and Hawkeye will help you tomorrow, but the day after that they have my permission to stop working. That is when they will be leaving for their mission. Havoc, Hughes, and Armstrong will finish up after that. That is all; you are all free to go."

"That's it?" Hughes asked surprised. He thought they were going to get much worse then that. A smile appeared on his face as he left the room. He was quickly followed by a very annoyed Roy, Riza, and Armstrong. Havoc stayed behind to ask the Fuhrer something.

"Permission to speak, sir?" Havoc asked as he walked toward the Fuhrer's desk and saluted.

"Of course," Bradley replied.

"No disrespect intended, sir, but don't you think sending those two off on their own is a bad idea? I mean, you heard what they did. If no one is around to stop them, aren't you afraid they will kill each other?"

"How dare you go against the Fuhrer's orders!" Gran snapped from the other end of the room. Someone going against a higher up solider was not permitted in his book.

"Easy, General," the Fuhrer replied. "Havoc, I am well aware of your feelings, but I can assure you they won't cause each other harm. I know Hawkeye wouldn't kill Mustang based on what I've seen of her. She is a good solider and would never kill one of her own men. Mustang on the other hand, before I was a little concerned about him, but now that he knows he'll be demoted if he does. I'm sure he'll keep his cool."

"I see, that does make sense. Thank you, sir," Havoc said and saluted again.

"At ease, you are dismissed, Lieutenant Havoc," the Fuhrer replied and Havoc left the room.

"Fuhrer, sir," Gran said as he approached the desk after Havoc had left. "May I ask why you sent those two on a mission the military shouldn't even be bothering with, instead of court marshaling them?"

"Mustang and Hawkeye are two good men. Uh… man and woman, I don't want to lose them over some little argument."

"I understand that, sir, but why the mission?"

"Mustang believes a woman can't do a man's job. Well I'm using this as an opportunity for Hawkeye to prove herself to Mustang. I know how skilled she is. She should have no trouble pulling this off, and then Mustang won't have any room to talk, and things will fall into place as they should."

_Either that, or he is using this as an excuse to get those two out there, and stop this so the police will quit nagging him._ General Gran thought with a disgusted look on his face. He was so looking forward to the look on Riza's and Roy's faces when Bradley fired them, and then they got off without a scratch.


	12. The Power of Clean

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 12: The Power of Clean

It was seven o' clock the next morning. They were all grateful to the Fuhrer for letting them go home the night before instead of making them stay over night. But cleaning at seven in the morning? That didn't go over so well.

"WAKE UP, ROY! You're supposed to be helping," Hughes said as he stood over the sleeping military dog. Roy had fixed the legs for his desk, turned it right side up, and then slumped down over it. The sounds of a deep snoring filled the room.

"At least he had the decency to put it back where it's supposed to be," Havoc said as he stared across the room and at Roy. A big glass window sat leaning against the wall beside him. He carefully picked it up and let it lean on his upper body. It was very long, at least two feet of it towered over his head.

Hughes was in charge of dusting up all the ashes and whatever else littered the floor. Riza's job was to mop, in hopes at least some of the black tar would come off the once green tile. Havoc's job was to fix the window and the light that used to be in the ceiling. He was trying to replace the broken window at the moment, but was failing miserably. Armstrong's job was to pick up all the heavy things and put them back as they were, such as the big bookshelf.

"I'VE GOT IT! I'VE GOT IT! I'M LOSIN' IT! I'M LOSTIN' IT!" Havoc shouted as he tried to balance the long heavy glass window against his chest. It was really a two person job to carry it, but since they didn't have that many people he'd have to hold it on his own.

"Be careful with that," Armstrong said as Havoc began stumbling toward him. Armstrong was on his knees trying to nail one of the shelves back in the broken bookcase. He had already stacked all the books neatly against the wall.

_Crash! _

The window fell out of Havoc's arms as he tripped over the pile of books. The glass shattered and flew everywhere in the area. Havoc lay on the floor with swirly eyes and a bloody nose. The once perfectly stacked by 'the Armstrong generation' books lay underneath him and around his body.

"That's the third one," Hughes said as he walked over and began sweeping up the broken glass. Havoc had already broken two other windows earlier that morning. The first time he was half asleep and tripped over Armstrong. The second time he just lost his grip and dropped it, and now this. He really could use Roy's help.

"What happened? I heard a loud crash. Did Havoc break another window?" Riza asked as she walked into the messy room. She held a bucket full of cold water in her right hand.

"Yeah, he tripped over the books," Hughes replied as he got down on his knees and pushed the glass into a small black dustpan. "I tried to wake Roy up, but we all know how he is when it comes to doing work. Especially when the work is cleaning and it's this early in the morning."

"Really?" Riza replied in a somewhat annoyed tone as she looked over at Roy. She then casually walked over to him.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Havoc asked when he came out of his coma-like state and saw the look on Riza's face. He sat up and stared at her. Her face held an expression that was a cross between annoyed and amused. He didn't like the 'amused' part of it.

"Awwww, look," Hughes said with a smile as Riza stood over the still sleeping Roy. "He's drooling."

"I think I'd better wash it off," she said as she held up the bucket and looked into it. She could barely see her refection in the dark murky water. _Do people actually drink this? It'll give you some weird disease no one's ever heard of._ "I don't think its cold enough. Be right back," she said as she hurried out of the room.

"What was that about?" Armstrong asked.

Hughes just shrugged his shoulders, "At least she's helping."

"True," Havoc said as he looked down at the window fame. It sat empty. "Huh?" he asked as he stuck his hand right through it. "Did they forget to put the glass in this?"

"No," Armstrong replied in his usual tone as he began nailing again. He was careful not to break the hammer again. It was the last one they had. He'd broken the top off the last five from banging them too hard. That was actually the reason most of the bookshelves had fallen out of the bookcase. Originally there was just a big hole in the back of the bookcase. He was trying to cover that up with a wooden board. He set the bookshelf on the floor and once he hit the wood, the iron part of the hammer broke off and went flying backwards. The two points on the back of the hammer got stuck in the wall behind the big man, and the force of Armstrong's blow caused all the shelves to fall out.

"Watch it," Hughes said as his eyes locked on Armstrong. "He's trying it again."

Both Havoc and Hughes ducked for cover. Jumping behind the nearest desk and grabbing something hard to put over their heads, in hopes it would protect them from the flying metal hammerhead. _Poor Roy, he's defenseless. Should I go out and protect him from a flying hammer?_ Hughes wondered to himself. "Nah!" They closed their eyes tight and got ready for the worst.

_Bang!_

A few seconds later Hughes and Havoc opened their eyes and cautiously peeked out from their makeshift shields. Their eyes widened in disbelief when they saw the metal part of the hammer still intact. They both stood up and began clapping, smiles on their faces. Armstrong's blond mustache curved into a smile and he pounded the hammer down again.

_Bang!_

_Ka-thud!_

Before they realized it there was yet another iron hammerhead stuck in the wall.

Havoc stared; he had no idea what to say now.

"Well, he almost got it. That's an improvement in itself, and we could always use those to hang up pictures, or our coats," Hughes said with an amused smile as he stared at the wall. There where six hammerheads stuck in the wall above Armstrong's bald head.

"Hmmmm…" Armstrong said as he stared at the wooden handle in his hand. "Why does this keep breaking?"

"It's the famous Armstrong line," Havoc replied with a sigh.

"Hmm?" Armstrong looked up at him.

"What are we supposed to use for a hammer now? That was the last one," Havoc said as he turned to Hughes. Hughes always came up with the most creative ideas and solutions.

"Use the bottom of your boot to pound with," Hughes replied as he continued sweeping as if nothing had happened.

"Uhhh… right," Havoc replied.

Armstrong was about to slip off his boot when Havoc and Hughes screamed 'NOOOO!' They would lend him one of their boots. Armstrong's strength was not only measured by his power, but also the stench of his feet. Armstrong looked at them questionably.

"We'll lend you one of ours," Hughes replied to the muscle man's silent question.

"Why?" Armstrong asked. He clearly didn't know how bad his feet smelled. Maybe living with them his entire life killed his sense of smell.

"Because…" Hughes replied trying to think of something, "Someone from the great Armstrong line shouldn't be scaled down like that. Using your own boot as a makeshift hammer is so disgraceful. But if you use someone else's then it's alright. We wouldn't want to unholy the great Armstrong boot and anger the great Armstrong ancestors."

"He's not using mine. I need it to go get a new window," Havoc replied as he lit a cigarette.

"Umm..." Hughes said not wanting to give up his boot. He looked around the room. His glasses lit up for a split second as he found the perfect candidate. "Here, use Roy's!" he said as he dashed over to the sleeping Lieutenant Colonel. He almost tripped over the fallen light on his way over.

"Are you sure he doesn't need it for something?" Armstrong asked in his usual tone.

"I don't think so," Hughes replied as he leaned over, close to Roy's face. "Roy…?" he whispered. "Roy, do you need your boot for anything?"

Roy didn't reply. He just gave a long loud snore.

"Nope!" Hughes snapped upright, "See, he doesn't need it," he said as he walked around Roy's desk and to where his feet hung. He then carefully began to remove the boot. Sweat began dripping off the strange man's face. He looked so focused, like one wrong move would cause a bomb to explode, and really, if Roy woke up and found what was going on, a bomb really would explode.

"I'm back," Riza said as she entered the room. Her expression became confused when she saw Hughes trying to pull off Roy's boot.

"It's a long story," Havoc exclaimed when he saw Riza's face.

"There, I got it!" Hughes said as he held the black boot up triumphantly. He then carried it over to Armstrong and handed it to him. Armstrong took it and began hammering.

_Oh, that's why._ Riza said to herself as she walked over to the other end of the room and picked up the mop. She dunked it in the water, which now had tons of ice cubes in it, and began pushing the mop back and forth across the dirty floor.

"I'm going to get a new window now," Havoc said as he grabbed his jacket off the nearby chair and walked out of the room with a small wave.

"Do you want someone to go with you?" Hughes asked just before Havoc got away. "I mean, you did break the last three. Maybe you need an extra hand?"

"You're all busy," Havoc replied, "Who else could come?"

Armstrong and Riza turned and stared at Roy. Hughes saw them staring. "I already tried waking him up. It didn't work."

Riza smirked, "I can get him up, no problem."

"How?" Armstrong asked curiously.

"Watch and learn," Riza replied as she picked up the freezing cold water bucket and carried it over to Roy. She then turned back to the men, giving them specific instruction on how to go about doing something like this. "First, you need a lazy sleeping pig," she said as she stood over Roy. "Then you need a bucket of cold water and I just so happen to have one here," she said as she set the bucket on the desk, next to Roy. "Now, you have to be fair when you do this. You have to give the person one chance to wake up," she leaned over Roy, the same way Hughes had done a few minutes before. She whispered in his ear, "Sir, you need to wake up now," she cooed.

He snored in reply.

"Ok, since your warning didn't work you carefully lift the bucket over the lazy pig's head, like so," she instructed as she lifted the bucket and let it dangle above Roy's unsuspecting face. "Then you slowly turn the bucket so it begins tipping toward the pig's head. You do this until they wake up or you run out of water. If that happens, you run and get more water." She tipped the bucket slowly, and then just as the water hit the rim of the bucket she tipped it completely over. The water came crashing down like a waterfall all over Roy's face.

"GAHHHHHHH!" Roy shot up like a rocket, coughing and bickering. He was dripping wet as some of the cold ice cubes rushed down his back. "AHHHHHH! Cold! Cold! COLD!" He screamed as he jumped around the room and grabbed at his back, trying to get the ice out. After a few minutes of that he glared evilly at Riza. His black hair dripping, and his skin had gain a little hint of blue as his body shivered from the cold.

"And that men," Riza finished with a smirk. "Is how you wake up a sleeping pig." her expression was unreadable as it usually was, but you could tell she was satisfied with herself. She then walked out of the room and down the hall to get more water.

Roy glared infuriated after her. His eyes burned with hot flames, but his body shivered with cold. Havoc, Hughes, and Armstrong began to wonder if you could have two totally different temperatures inhabit one body like that.


	13. Plotting Revenge is Oh so Sweet

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 13: Plotting Revenge is Oh so Sweet

"Calm down, Roy. You don't want to get sent to the Fuhrer's again, do you?" Hughes asked as he stood next to Roy, trying to get the rampaging man to calm down.

Roy just mumbled. He was so angry his jaws were clenched and he couldn't speak. Not only that, but he was too angry to think of anything to say.

"Come on, it was all in fun," Hughes said with a little smile. Roy could reply to this comment.

"Fun?" he asked, his fists now clenching as well. The water was dripping off his black hair and blue uniform onto the floor forming a small puddle around his feet.

"Yes, Roy, just fun," Hughes replied.

"She just dumped a bucket of disgusting water on me! And on top of that! It was freezing cold and it had ice in it!" the Lieutenant Colonel snapped.

"Lieutenant Colonel Mustang," Armstrong began.

"What?" Roy barked as his head turned to the huge man. Confusion appeared on his face when he saw the hammerheads suck in the wall, but that quickly passed and he was focused on Riza again.

"At least it wasn't slime," Armstrong finished. The tone of his voice was as it always was, calm and collected. It seemed his voice never showed any hint of emotion, like nothing ever bother him.

"I WOULD HAVE RATHER BEEN SLIMED! AT LEAST IT'S WARM!"

"I guess that's true," Hughes said rubbing his chin, "But at least you don't have to try and get the nasty smell out. There's no smell in that water. Riza was telling me earlier about how she spent most of the night washing her uniform over and over, trying to get the smell out."

"Well do you know how long it took me to get that ink out?" Roy shouted at him.

"Doesn't look like you did a very good job," Hughes replied as he looked over Roy's uniform. It was indeed different. The ink color was a grey instead of a dark black. In the shadow you'd never know it was there.

"Hey," Havoc interrupted as he stood next to the door, leaning on the doorframe. "Sorry to interrupt, but I still need someone to come with me."

Armstrong and Hughes looked at Roy. Hughes smirked, but Armstrong's expression didn't change from his usual face.

"Don't even think about it," Roy said as he glared back at them.

"We're both busy," Hughes replied. "You're the only one who's free."

Roy's expression got a little angrier and a little more annoyed, but he knew he couldn't win and he should just let it go. "Hughes," he said. His voice a little muffled and a little quiet as he tried to suppress his rage.

"Yeah?" Hughes asked as he looked at his soaked friend questionably.

"I just got a great idea," Roy replied as a smirk appeared on his face.

"Oh no, does this ever end? Haven't we gotten in enough trouble already?" Havoc asked. He knew what that famous 'Roy Mustang smirk' meant.

"No," Roy replied and spun around all macho like as he took a strong pose. It really looked stupid, but in Roy's mind it looked cool. Like something a superhero would do. Then he said in a strong confident voice. "We can never get in to much trouble! Not until you get thrown out of the military! That's the only time you know you've crossed the line! Since we didn't get thrown out for our last attempt at getting rid of Hawkeye then we are far from that line!"

"Who said we were trying to get rid of her?" Havoc asked in an annoyed voice. Roy's proud expression died in a million flames at that comment.

"Isn't that what you were doing outside the window?" he asked as a suspicious look appeared on his face.

"No, we were-" Hughes tried to say they were spying again when Havoc took the nearby mop, locked it in his ankles, and by maneuvering it around. He managed to trip Hughes with it. Havoc was doing his best to make it not seem suspicious. Maybe Roy wouldn't notice he tripped him. Hughes fell flat on his back. His uniform soaked up some of the cold water as he lay on the floor.

"We were searching for women in mini skirts," Havoc finished Hughes' statement. He knew what would happen if they told him they were spying and not helping him. They would be the ones dying in a million flames.

"I see," Roy replied as he closed his eyes and thought about it for a minute," Well, even if you weren't helping your leader. You will still doing something honorable. So I won't punish you for it."

"Thank you, sir!" Havoc said with a smile as he took the saluting pose. "Now can we go, please? I think it would be better if we got yo-… uh _us_ out of here before Hawkeye comes back."

"Speaking of which," Roy replied as he turned to Hughes. "Since I'm doing this for you, you have to do something for me."

"Uh, what's that?" Hughes asked, a little uncertain if he wanted to know the outcome.

"Hawkeye played a joke on me, now it's only fair I get to play a trick on her," Roy said as he planned out what he wanted to do in his mind.

"And what part do I play in this? Bodily injury is not something I'm going to be apart of, for my sake and hers," Hughes replied.

"Oh no," the Lieutenant Colonel said. His confident and cool voice retuned. "I would never hurt Hawkeye." He was clearly convinced and proud of his plan.

_Wow… I haven't heard that tone of voice in awhile. Not since the night of the bank robbery. Which was... like three days ago, I think. Hmmm... Sure seems longer then that._ Hughes though to himself as Roy's voice had thrown him back into the past, thinking about what all had happened the last few days.

"HUGHES!" Roy shouted in Hughes' ear, trying to snap him out of his train of thought.

"Yes?" Hughes replied with great surprise in his voice.

"I want you to do something for me," Roy said in his once again cool voice.

"What's that?" Hughes asked.

Armstrong just sat at the other end of the room, watching quietly. Maybe if he didn't say anything or draw attention to himself, Roy wouldn't notice him and make him do something troublesome.

"Are you familiar with that children's song? You know the one from the show with the dancing hobo?" Roy asked. He was referring to a song called 'Train Hopping Homeless Bum' the theme song to the hit radio broadcast, 'Hobo Mary John'. It was the biggest kids show on the radio and that song was very, very annoying. It was how the annoying ranting of 'Hello Kitty' and 'Hamtaro' came into being.

"Yes, I've heard it on the radio once or twice," Hughes replied, "Why?"

"Well, the Fuhrer said he'd call Hawkeye and I when he was ready for us to set out on our mission, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well I want you to find a recording of that song and hook it up to the temporary phone line in here. So when Hawkeye goes to answer the phone she hears that annoying song over and over and over. It will drive her mad."

"Can't she just hang it up? Or not answer it?" Armstrong finally asked.

"She can't help but answer it. She has no idea if it's the Fuhrer or not, and yes, she can hang up, but that song is one of those tunes that just sticks in your mind and repeats one little part over and over and over," Roy replied.

"Ummmm…" Hughes said as he thought about this. _Well, at least no one will get hurt in this. At least I hope not. I'm sure it's a lot safer then some of the other things Roy will come up. Sadly I think I have no choice._ "Ok, Roy, I'll do it, but you can't blame this on me if things get out of control."

"Don't worry, Hughes. This will stay perfectly under control. After all, it's all in 'fun', right?"


	14. The Best Tricks Always Have the Worst Ta

AN: Hey guys! Thankies again for the reviews!

MistressofHeaven: Nope, I didn't leave anything out. That comes later, after the pranks, remember?

don'tbreakme: It sounds pointless? Hmm... I never thought of it like that (but that's me for you). The main idea of it is to get on Riza's nerves, drive her mad etc... etc… and don't worry, you'll see why I used it later. Lots of chaos Mwahahahahaha!

Mookie and Moofie: How did I come up with the hobo thing? Hmm… I really don't know? I was going to use the Hello Kitty song. Then it occurred to me that Hello Kitty didn't exist then. So I just thought of something so ridiculous that it was funny.

Guess what guys! Chapter 14! That's almost half way to 30, and only 9 chapters after that! Rereads. Wow… that just made it sound even longer. Sweat drop. I was trying to lift your spirits a little. Show you we were in fact getting closer, but I guess it failed. Anyway, quick question, do you think this version is better then the other one? Grammar wise I mean, I know it's more or less the same as the old one, a few parts are different, but not much. I tried to skim through it and fix stuff, but I think I may have missed some. Do you think it's good, ok, or really bad?

Oh! Also (I know I'm starting to ramble, sorry!) But I went through the reviews and added some of you to my messenger contact things. Hope that's ok. So if you see a new one from untamedspirit, that's me! If you didn't want to talk, and deleted me that's fine. I'm not sure if I'd want to talk to me either after reading this crazy fic, but if you do want to talk to me, go to my bio page thing and it says all my addresses on there. I'm at yahoo, msn, and aol. So if you have those and want to talk to me go ahead. I don't bite. Plus, I like asking readers what they want, and sometimes even ask for advise! So, yeah, that's pretty much all I wanted to say. Hope to talk to some of you!

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 14: The Best Tricks Always Have the Worst Tasting Treats

"Ok, I'm all done. I wonder why he just didn't ask Fury to do this," Hughes said with a sigh as he put the last of the finishing touches on his creation. It wasn't the best looking thing, but it worked and that was all Roy needed. For what he was asking, Hughes didn't do too badly of a job. You had to give him a little credit. He only had about 15 minutes to find the song from hell, and then find a way to hook it up. He got the song from the library down the street off the Military grounds. That library was for the public, unlike the Central library, and it had a children's section. It was somewhat amusing to see a middle aged man looking through the children's books and songs, but Hughes didn't seem to mind it very much. He had lots of fun showing the picture of Gracia to the other ladies there. He even showed it to a few of the kids. Armstrong, Havoc, and Roy stared at Hughes' creation. Questioning themselves on if they should really try and see if it would work. They were afraid it would combust in their face or something. No one knew how he did it, but Hughes had managed to make some type of splitter, that would allow incoming calls to come in, and let the music play from time to time. It was quite a feat.

"Do you think that thing will actually work?" Armstrong asked as he stared at the phone. They had managed to clean up a little of the mess. They had Roy's desk all fixed up, though still ink stained, and set their new temporary phone on it. The phone looked normal from an everyday glance. But under the table was a mess of sparking cords, pieces of string, and duck tape. Roy was hoping Riza wouldn't notice.

"It'll work, it had better anyway," Hughes said as he stood next to them to look down on his 'baby'. He had a proud look on his face. Though he couldn't help but feel bad for Riza. That song was truly more of a punishment then the hottest flames from Hades. Burns will go away with time, but that evil song will sit in the back of your mind and torment you forever. Hughes would know. He had to listen to it the whole time he was in the children's section at the library. He wondered how the mothers there put up with it. Or better yet, the people who worked there for hours on end.

"Hey, I'm back," Riza said a few minutes later. She saw them staring at the phone with cautious and questionable looks on their faces. _What are those boys doing now?_ Riza wondered, but she knew the kind of men they were and just shrugged it off. "Sorry it took so long," she said with a smile as she set the bucket down on the floor and grabbed the mop.

"Hi, welcome back," Hughes said with a smile as he looked over at Riza. He quickly got back to work as well. He went to the far right corner of the room and began sweeping up some of the burnt papers.

"Umm… what's going on?" Riza asked after 15 minutes of Armstrong's, Roy's, and Havoc's quiet stares.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," Roy said and stared back at her. His hand rubbing the back of his head nervously. "Did you get some new water?"

"Yes…" Riza replied. She began to wonder why Roy wasn't lashing out at her. She knew how angry he was for the whole water incident, but he didn't seem to mind it very much. I'd better watch myself. I bet he's up to something. Riza thought to herself as she studied Roy's face, trying to pick up any signs of rage or a possible sneak attack. There was nothing. _Maybe he's had a change of heart?_ She wondered as she stared at him. Anything is possible I suppose, but I'm still going to watch my back. She sighed and started mopping the black charred floor. _These men, some women complain that they are too complicated and some complain that they are too simple. Which one is it!_

Roy watched Riza for a minute or two. He smiled, but was careful to hide his smirk from her. He didn't want to give her any hints that something was up. She glanced up at him again. Wondering why hew was watching her the way he was. "Oh, Havoc!" Roy said when he discovered she was beginning to wonder. "Come on, let's go get that glass." He said grabbed Havoc's arm, pulling him a little ways.

"Finally," Havoc grumbled as he followed Roy toward the door.

The door closed, Hughes, Riza, and Armstrong all stared for a moment with surprised expressions. "Did he realize he is missing one of his boots?" Armstrong asked. Hughes and Riza just shrugged and got back to work.

Havoc and Roy got about halfway down the hallway when Roy suddenly stopped.

"Is something wrong, sir?" Havoc asked as he looked back at Roy who had a confused yet annoyed look on his face. As Roy was walking down the hallway he thought something felt strange, like he was off balance. One of his legs felt slightly longer then the other.

Roy glanced down at his feet and an even greater annoyed expression appeared on his face. His eyebrow twitched as he wiggled his toes. The edges of his white sock were gray and dirty, partly from walking on the dirty floor in the office and partly from the nasty water he had been standing in. "I thought the floor felt a little chilly. Havoc?" He asked as he stared down at the green tile.

"Yes?" Havoc replied.

"Tell me… what was Hughes up to while I was asleep?"

"Uh…" Havoc wasn't sure what to say. He didn't really have to say anything. Before he could reply Roy was stomping back to the office. His wet sock made a 'squish' noise and it hit the cold tile floor.

_Bam!_

Hughes was in the middle of talking about Gracia when Roy burst through the door. The force of Roy's blow caused the door to slam hard against the wall. "Please Lieutenant Colonel, don't break the door," Riza said as she continued mopping, she hadn't looked up from her work.

"Where's my boot?" Roy grumbled. His expression was a cross between angry and annoyed. His eyebrow twitched a few more times, making a weird little 'pop' sound.

"I guess he figured it out," Armstrong said. Hughes and Riza closed their eyes and nodded.

Roy stomped over to Hughes. He knew Hughes was behind this. Hughes was behind everything. "Where's my boot?" he asked again.

"Uh…" Hughes replied and motioned his head over toward Armstrong. Roy glanced over toward Armstrong.

"Hmm?" Armstrong stared back at him. Roy saw his precious black boot in the big man's hand. He quickly walked toward Armstrong, his fists clenched and his eyebrow still popping. He held out his hand in a 'hand it over' motion.

Suddenly the phone began to ring.

_Brrrring!_

_Brrrrring!_

"Huh? Could that be the Fuhrer already?" Riza asked as she looked up from her mopping and toward Roy's desk. She put down the mop and went over to answer it.

Hughes, Armstrong, and Roy looked over toward Riza. Roy smirked. Havoc had just reentered the room. He stared as well, curious as to what Riza reaction would be.

"Hello, this is the Lieutenant Colonel's office," she said as she talked into the old fashioned phone.

_I'm Mary John the train hopping hobo! Come hop some trains with me!_ She heard a strange ranting on the other end as an annoying jungle started playing.

_Get a job you bum, bum, bum, Bum! Money don't grow on trees you bum, bum, bum, Bum!_

"Hmm..." Riza gave a little growl as an annoyed expression appeared on her face and her eyebrow just about twitched, but she held it back. It was her job to maintain her 'professional' appearance no matter what type of prank calls she received. She then hung up the phone and walked back over to her mop.

"Who was it?" Hughes asked. Just to see what her reaction would be.

"Just a mentally ill bum. He was going on and on about what a bum should do, but he himself is too much of a hobo to take him own advise," Riza replied. She had clearly never heard of Mary John the singing dancing hobo before.

"I see," Hughes replied. His face kept calm. He knew if he laughed and gave away the secret Roy would tie him down in a little closet, gag him so he couldn't scream, and make him listen to that song for hours and hours on end.

Havoc glanced over at Roy. He didn't think this plan was going to work. Riza didn't show any signs of going crazy.

_It's only a matter of time._ Roy answered Havoc's glance with a smirk, but was careful not to let Riza see. "Don't you just hate those hoboes?" Roy asked. "Oh well, come on Havoc, let's go get your window." he said as he put his boot on. It felt weird having a wet sock on, but he got over it.

"Yeah," Havoc replied. He didn't really care about the stupid window. He just wanted to get out of that room. All the tension and crazy ideas floating around were starting to get to him. He and Roy left the room again. This time they didn't return.

"They've been gone along time," Armstrong said after an hour and a half. Riza and Hughes were working quietly by the window. Their stopped every few minutes to stick their heads out to get a breath of fresh air. Since Roy took his boot back Armstrong began using his own. The smell in the room was so rancid and sour it made their eyes water.

"Lucky them," Hughes whispered to Riza as they leaned out the window. "Once they come back we make an excuse to leave. They can suffer in this disgusting stink."

Riza nodded in reply as they both took a deep breath then went back in to do more cleaning.

_Brrrring!_

_Brrrring!_

The phone rang again. This was the tenth time in the last hour.

"Riza, could you get that?" Hughes asked as he held his nose. Holding the dustpan in his ankles and sweeping the dirt into the pan with his free hand.

_Brrrrring!_

Riza walked over to the phone, her arms crossed over her chest. She picked up the phone with one hand, hoping it wasn't the God-forsaken hobo.

_Hi, I'm Mary John th-._ The voice was cut off as Riza hung up the phone, rather furiously. Her eyebrow really did twitch as her fists clenched. She then regained herself and turned her back to the phone.

_Brrrring!_

_Brrrring!_

"Grrrr…" Riza's muscles clenched with rage. "That hobo isn't gonna be hopping trains much longer if he keeps this up," she grumbled as she answered the phone.

_Hi, I'm Mary John!_ Her amber eyes began to flame as she took a deep breath. "I have a job you bum, bum, bum BUM!" she shouted and hung up the phone. Somehow she always managed to suppress her anger enough that she was able to hang up the phone, not slam it. She stood staring at the phone for a few minutes. Once it didn't ring she gave a small 'good, I got him to shut up' smile and turned to go work again. She took a few steps toward Hughes.

_Brrrrring!_

_Brrrrrring!_

"Grrrrahh!" she sneered as her head snapped back at the phone. It was truly getting on her nerves and she was beginning to lose her 'professional' look. With how angry she was becoming, Hughes and Armstrong really didn't think she cared.

_Brrrrrring!_

She glared at the accursed phone. She quickly pulled out her pistol and took aim.

"RIZA, WAIT!" Hughes shouted when he saw what was about to happen. "IT COULD BE THE FUHRER!" If he had fixed the phone so no incoming calls could come in he would have let Riza shoot, but since he didn't make it that way he knew it really could be the Fuhrer, and they'd all get in major trouble if no one answered the Fuhrer's call.

Riza's eyes turned to look at him for a moment. She sighed knowing he was right and put her gun away. She then picked up the receiver.

_Hi! I'm-. _

_Rring-Slam!_

Riza then slammed the phone. She was about to walk away when she saw a sudden spark come out from under the desk. "Uh?" she asked as her annoyed angered expression turned to wonder. She went around to the other end of the desk and got down on her knees, looking at the combination of sparks and string.

_Uh-oh._ Hughes thought. _She figured it out. Roy was right, it was only a matter of time. _

"What's this?" she asked as she studied the cords. "Hughes, did the Lieutenant Colonel do this?" she asked as she looked over at the dark-haired Major.

"Uh!" Hughes stammered when Riza's gaze met his own. He quickly stuck his head out the window, pretending he didn't hear her.

"Huh?" Riza watched Hughes questionably then looked over at Armstrong.

"Hmm!" he quickly snapped back to his pounding, trying to avoid her gaze as well. Both of them knew Roy would kill them if they confessed.

Riza then turned back to the bottom on the desk. She studied the cords for a few minutes. Then she knew how the trick was done. A smirk appeared on her face. _Oh Colonel, didn't you know? Revenge is so overrated._

AN: Hey guys, hope you like it. Just wanted to say that that, Get a job you bum, bum, bum ect... ect... song isn't mine. It's from Larry the Cable Guy. He's a comedian if you didn't know! Once again, don't sue me! Hope to see you in the next chapter!


	15. Revenge: It’s so Overrated!

sakurapixi: You're a new reader to this fic, aren't you? Ya know how I know? Because this fic was deleted, and if you had read it before you'd know the answer to your question. Lol, well, the answer is yes, there will be romance. Sorry if I spoiled it for you other readers, but ya had to know it was coming somewhere, right? I did say this was a Royai fic in the summary, and they do like each other in the show. So yeah, I'm glad you started reading, Sakura! Thanks for all your compliments, and please enjoy the story!

MistressofHeaven: You're right, I have no idea how Hughes did the phone thing. But we all know he'd find a way to do it!

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 15: Revenge: It's so Overrated!

Riza stared at the wiring under the desk. A smirk appeared on her face_. Oh Lieutenant Colonel, don't you know revenge is so overrated?_

_Uh-oh. _Hughes thought as he pulled his head back in the room a little ways, not much, just enough to see what Riza was doing. Her smirk looks almost as menacing as Roy's. Armstrong watched Riza as well, but he wasn't going to get involved unless he absolutely had too. They were in enough trouble already.

"I think I can work with this," Riza said quietly as she put her hands under the desk and began rewiring things.

_She's destroying my masterpiece!_ Hughes cried. The smile he always had was replaced with a sad expression as milk tears began steaming down his face.

"What's wrong with you?" Riza asked as she glanced over at Hughes.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Hughes replied, still crying.

"…Ok…" Riza replied as she looked at him questionably, and then got back to work. As she rewired the wires and pulled off the tape a few big sparks appeared. Armstrong was afraid she was going to start another fire. He felt he had to get involved.

"Umm... Second Lieutenant Hawkeye?" he asked as he knelt down beside the bookcase, his stinking shoe sitting on the floor next to him.

"Yes?" Riza asked as she worked.

"May I ask what you're doing?" Armstrong asked.

Riza pulled hard on one of the bigger wires. It made a loud 'snap' as it broke. "I'm getting back at the Lieutenant Colonel," she replied.

"How are you planning to do that?" Armstrong asked in his normal tone.

"I'm gonna rewire this 'thing' and send the song to the Fuhrer's office."

"How will he know the message is from the Lieutenant Colonel?" Armstrong asked.

"I'll figure that out later," Riza replied as she continued rewiring. She was a very smart woman, and she thought she could figure this out, but it was electronics, not guns, which posed a little bit of a problem. _It can't do any more bad then good._ She thought to herself when the thought of failure from lack of knowledge crossed her mind. _As long as it reaches the Fuhrer I really don't care if I did it perfect or not._

"Do you think that's really a good idea?" Hughes asked. From what he could see, Riza really wasn't doing a very good job. He didn't know much about this sort of thing either, but he clearly knew more then she did, and she wasn't doing any of it right.

"Not really," Riza replied as she ripped some duck tape off a wire with her teeth. "But you know what they say; you'll never learn anything until you try."

Armstrong and Hughes exchanged glances as Riza worked her _magic_.

After a few minutes of the Second Lieutenant's rewiring under the desk, and then working on the wires leading into the wall she thought she had everything right. "There," she said as she wiped some sweat off her forehead. "That should do it."

_Right…_ Hughes thought as he looked at the sparking mess. At last his job wasn't too noticeable. This was pathetic; wires were all around the desk, not hidden like they should have been. There was quite a big bunch heading into the wall, all of it was sparking.

"All I have to do it attach this last one to the phone, and the message will go from our phone to the Fuhrer," Riza said as she held up one last wire.

_She could have just connected it to the record player under the desk. That would have made it a lot simpler. It would have gone from the record player to the wall, not from the record player, through the phone, then into the wall._ Hughes thought as he watched Riza struggle to find a place to plug in the last cord. The mess of cords coming from the back of the phone made it almost impossible to see what you needed to see. Riza took the plastic cover off the phone to see all the little nick knacks inside. Hughes didn't have to do that, which is another reason the phone was sparking so much more.

"Good, it's all done," Riza said as she stepped back and smiled at her accomplishments. "Now to make it ring."

"Do you know how to do that?" Armstrong asked as he stood up from his work and walked over to Riza, careful not to trip on any of the cords.

"I think I do. I'm pretty sure if I just dial the number to the Fuhrer's office it will work," Riza said as she began to turn the circle shaped dial on the phone.

"You're not going to talk to him are you?" Hughes asked.

"No," Riza replied, "The song is just going to play."

"I see," Armstrong replied.

Suddenly there was a 'brrrring!' heard in the Fuhrer's office.

"I wonder who that could be? I hope it's the Brigadier General, I'm still waiting on his report about this year's State Alchemist exams," the Fuhrer said as he reached over and picked up the phone.

_Brrrring!_

_Brrring!_

The expression on the Fuhrer's face became somewhat confused. He left his door open and he could hear an echo in the hallway. It sounded like all the phones in the area were ringing.

"Huh?" some of the soldiers in another room said as both the phones in the room began ringing at the exacted same time.

"Hmmm…" some other soldiers said as they walked over to their phones.

Soon all the phones were picked up and the ringing stopped. When that happened the Fuhrer put his phone to his ear.

_Get a job you bum, bum, bum, BUM._

Havoc and Roy had just reentered the building when they heard about 100,000 men scream out in agony.

"What was that?" Havoc asked as he looked around. Holding one end of the big window, Roy held the other.

"I don't know," Roy replied. Then they saw a man running toward the door, screaming. He was a solider. He had on the standard military uniform. He appeared to be slightly older. His brown hair had hints of grey, and his brown eyes were wide and full of pure terror.

"Run away, RUN AWAY!" he shouted.

"Stop," Roy said as the man approached them. He wanted the scoop on why everyone was screaming. _Has someone taken over?_ He wondered.

"GET OUT NOW! IT BURNS!" the now mentally ill man shouted as he raced toward the door. His brown eyes looked blood shot.

"HEY, STOP!" Havoc shouted. Just then Roy dropped his end of the window. It hit the floor with a loud crash. Once again there was glass everywhere. Havoc just gave a big sigh when he saw the shattered glass. He then shrugged his shoulders and pulled out a cigarette. His attention directed back to Roy.

"I ORDERED YOU TO STOP!" Roy shouted angrily at the man. He had one hand on the man's navy blue color, holding him against the wall. His other hand was in the man's face, in the snapping position. "Now I'm going to ask again. What is going on?"

"There... there's a song. A crazy song is playing over and over. It's taken over our entire commutation system," the man said, fear engulfed his face. His brown eyes were locked on Roy's glove, praying his fingers wouldn't slip. "Everything was fine, then suddenly all the phones in the building started ringing and that song was on every one of them. We all hang up, but they just keep calling back. It's like the phone lines are possessed. If it's not the song, then the incessant ringing of the phones is driving everybody mad."

Havoc and Roy exchanged glances. Roy dropped the man and they both ran to the office. They could hear non-stop screaming as they ran. It was awful, it sounded like someone was killing the soldiers slowly and painfully. Some of the pitches were so high it made the hair on the back of their necks stand up, like fingernails on a chalkboard.

"I can't believe they are screaming like this just because of a stupid song," Roy said with an annoyed look on his face, not slowing down his fast pace. The echo of screams being created by the halls made it almost impossible to hear anything, even the sounds of their boots hitting the tile floor was being drowned out.

"What?" Havoc shouted. He couldn't hear what Roy said, but he knew he said something because he saw his lips move.

"Never mind!" Roy replied.

"What!" Havoc shouted again.

"NEVERMIND!"

"Ok!" Havoc replied.

"What!" Roy asked.

"Never mind!"

"WHAT!"

Now Havoc's faced looked almost as annoyed as Roy's. If they had the same hair color you could say they were twins by the expression on their faces. They charged up the stairs. Havoc tripped twice. Then they rushed down the hall to their office.

The door opened with a loud slam. The room was full of chaos. Hughes was trying to unwire the wires, Armstrong running here and there. Riza was trying to show Hughes what she had done, rather quickly, but despite the chaos in the room Riza looked very cool, like she knew exactly what to do under pressure.

No one looked up at them. Roy hated this whole 'not being noticed' business. He grumbled a little bit and his fists clenched. "Hey, you ok, chief?" Havoc asked when he saw Roy's tightened fists.

Roy didn't bother to answer. He grabbed the door knob and slammed the door hard against the wall again, hoping the loud noise would get his men and woman to pay attention.

Riza glanced up at him with a sigh. "I told you not to break the door, Lieutenant Colonel."

"WHAT?" both Roy and Havoc yelled. The screaming was everywhere, even coming in their office, draining their voices and messing up their conversation.

Riza just gave them an annoyed look then got back to work on helping Hughes.

"What did you do?" Roy asked as he came over to his desk, rather quickly, and looked down at the sparking wires.

"We just had a little clumsy moment, Roy. No big deal," Hughes replied, his hands full of different wires.

"No big deal," Havoc mumbled from the door, "No, it's no big deal. We are driving all our men crazy. Other military bases teach their men to behave with intense training. Ours? Ours drives them mad to the point were they can't tell their head from their hind end with the endless ranting of stupid childhood songs. But no, it's no big deal, nothing to be worried about. We care deeply about our troops, we do…really…"

"Did you fix it?" Roy asked after a few minutes.

"Lieutenant Colonel," Riza replied calmly, "They are still screaming! Do you really think he fixed it?" the second part of her sentence came out as an annoyed shout.

"They could just be screaming for fun," Havoc replied as he leaned on the door frame and puffed on his cigarette. They all stopped what they were doing long enough to give him an annoyed stare.

"Why are they screaming anyway? That song can't make you that crazy," Roy said.

"Oh believe me, Roy. When it's been going on for the last hour and a half, it can," Hughes replied.

"The phones ringing and the fear that our commutation system being taken over by hobos is just icing on the cake," Riza added.

"What are you doing?" Havoc asked as Armstrong walked quickly by.

"Major Hughes told me too do whatever I thought seemed necessary, but in a quicker manner," Armstrong replied in his normal tone. Then he left the room.

"…ok…" Havoc replied as he turned back to Riza, Hughes, and Roy. The navy blue uniforms stood out vividly against the black charred walls. Their shadows appeared every so often as a huge spark appeared and lit up the seemly dark area. With no lights working in the room, and the sun beginning to go down it made the already black room seem even darker.

Havoc was still leaning on the doorframe, watching. Then suddenly he felt someone breathing down the back of his neck and glanced back into the hallway. "GAH!" He jumped back a few feet suddenly. His blue eyes widened and his cigarette fell out of his mouth and to the floor when he saw a very angry General Gran standing in front of him. Gran was glaring down at Havoc with scornful eyes and his arms were folded over his chest.

"Put this one here," Roy said as he looked over Hughes shoulder. None of them had noticed the angry General standing in the doorway.

"No, it goes here," Hughes replied as he tried to put one of the wires in a place other then the area Roy had instructed.

"I said put it there!" Roy snapped as he pointed to the area on the phone he wanted it to go.

"It doesn't go there," Riza replied. She was going with Hughes on this one. If he could make the phone into that 'thing' then he knew far more then she and Roy did.

"I'M THE LIEUTANENT COLONEL! IF I SAY IT GOES THERE, THEN IT GOES THERE! THE PHONE HAS TO TAKE ORDERS FROM ME JUST LIKE THE TWO OF YOU DO!" Roy snapped. The stress of this whole mess was really starting to get under his skin.

"AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE ORDERS FROM ME!" Gran snapped. His booming voice cut through the screams of terror like a sharp knife through… well… nothing.

Hughes, Riza, and Roy looked over toward the door and within a second of seeing who was in the doorway they all snapped upright and took the saluting position.

Gran glared at them, disgust all over his face. "I knew that hobo nonsense had something to do with you. Hobos taking over the communication system, that's the most ridiculous thing, I've ever heard!" Gran snapped. He then looked around the room. When he noticed they had done nothing to clean it up he became infuriated.

"Now look what you got us into," Roy snapped as they stood in front of the Fuhrer's desk yet again.

Riza didn't answer. Her eyes were dead locked on the Fuhrer's big black chair. She wasn't about to speak and show disrespect to the Fuhrer, not after all this.


	16. A Savoir Disguised as a Woman of the Mil

A/N: sakurapixi: I'm not really sure on why it was deleted. My guess is either there were too many grammar mistakes or to many author notes.

Mistressofheaven: Hmm... I never thought of her asking for Hughes help. Maybe because he would have done it right, and then the soldiers wouldn't have had the pleaser of meeting the dancing hobo. Windows? Hmm… well… there were the three that Havoc broke while in the office, and now this one with Roy. So four so far, don't worry, they'll will be more. Poor Havoc, he's going to end up with a million years bad luck!

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't By Crushing His Ego Chapter 16: A Savoir Disguised as a Woman of the Military

"Now look what you got us into," Roy snapped quietly as they stood in front of the Fuhrer's desk yet again. The soldiers stood in the same positions they were in earlier. Roy and Riza up in front, the Fuhrer at his desk, Havoc and Hughes standing in a line behind them, the Brigadier General across form them. Everything looked exactly the same, except one man was missing.

Riza didn't answer Roy. Her eyes were dead locked on the Fuhrer's big black chair. She wasn't about to speak and show disrespect to the Fuhrer, not after all this.

The back of the Fuhrer's chair was facing them. He was looking out one of the large windows behind him, thinking about what to do. It was dark outside. The street lights in the large area in front of Central lit up just about everything around them. They had been in the room along time, but nothing was decided.

"We've found him, sir," a familiar was voice heard from behind them. The Fuhrer turned with a smile. It was Warrant Officer Falman and Sergeant Major Fury.

"We found him, Fuhrer sir," Fury, the man that looked like a mini version of Hughes, said as he took the saluting position. Falman standing next to him, behind them stood Armstrong.

"Very good, thank you," the Fuhrer replied as his put his elbows on his desk, then rested his chin on his hands. "You are free to go home."

"Thank you, sir!" they both replied with a smile and left. The sound of a dog barking was heard as they walked down the hallway.

"Oh-no," Falman whined. "Fury, not another one."

"Sorry," Fury replied as he rubbed the back of his head, a little white puppy, a tea-cup sized poodle popped out of his shirt collar. It was so small no one noticed it. "I just found him out in the rain."

"It's not even raining," Falman replied with an annoyed expression.

Hughes just shook his head back and forth with a smile as they listened to Fury and Falman's conversation. "Fury…" Hughes sighed, "He obsesses too much."

There was an awkward silence as everyone in the room stared at Hughes.

"Major Hughes," Havoc whispered.

"Yeah?"

"You obsess over your wife," Havoc reminded Hughes that he was just as bad, if not worse then Fury when it came to obsessing over things.

Another awkward silence was heard as Hughes thought about this for a moment. "Yes and!-" Hughes smiled as his hand headed for his pocket.

"Well now that that's out of the way," the Fuhrer cut Hughes off before he could pull out the picture. Armstrong was busy looking around for the crickets that were heard chirping during the awkward silence as well as wondering how a stray tumbleweed managed to blow through the room, without any wind.

"GET BACK IN LINE!" Gran snapped when he saw the soldiers begging to congregate instead of paying attention to King Bradley.

"Uh!" Havoc snapped in the saluting position.

"Sorry!" Hughes snapped almost as fast as Havoc, though he didn't take the age old position. He stood up straight, his arms locked down at his sides. His head was slightly tilted upward. This made his glasses flash as the light reflected off the glass lenses. He did this so they couldn't see the tears forming in his eyes. Oh how Hughes wanted to show the Fuhrer his photo of Gracia. He didn't get to talk to the Fuhrer much, not off of business terms anyway.

"At ease," the Fuhrer instructed his men. They relaxed slightly, arms either at their sides or folded over their chests.

"Permission to speak, Fuhrer Bradley, sir?" Riza asked after things in the room calmed down.

The Fuhrer nodded at Riza, telling her to go ahead.

"I just wanted to apologize for my actions, sir. They clearly were out of line, and I should have stopped myself when things got out of hand. I apologize for my unacceptable behavior," she said as she gave a small nod, like a gesture of apology. Her face remained calm and cool, but on the inside she was kicking and cursing herself. _Why did I let the Lieutenant Colonel get me so out of line? I should have been able to suppress my rage. I'm a solider after all. I won't let this happen again._ She thought to herself as she stood upright once again. "May I say one more thing, sir?" she asked her face still serious.

"Of course, Second Lieutenant," the Fuhrer replied with a smile. The Brigadier General just sneered at Riza. _She's trying to suck up to him. _He thought as he watched her.

Riza really wasn't sucking up, she was just apologizing. She knew that what she had done was wrong and was totally out of line and character. She had never done anything like this before, pulling pranks and getting in fights with a superior officer, it just wasn't her.

She felt as if she was losing her grip on her former self and this new woman was coming to surface. A woman who wouldn't listen or take anything from anyone. She was able to snap at her commanding officer harshly without giving it a second thought. Hot tears began forming in her eyes when she thought about how out of line she was. _I won't lose myself or my profession to this man. Not over something as stupid as a few fights._ She sneered at herself as she refused to let the tears fall and maintained her serious 'solider' face. _I won't allow myself to fight with him anymore, from here on out I'm going to treat him as my commanding officer, and show him the respect he deserves, even if he is a jerk._ She thought as she glanced over at Roy for a moment.

His body remained in position, but his dark eyes watched her. It almost appeared that he felt sorry for her, like he was begging to regret getting the two of them in trouble, but of course, He would never admit to that. He didn't want Riza to think he'd gone soft or that he'd let her win their little fight.

"You were going to say something, Second Lieutenant?" the Fuhrer asked after a few minutes of silence. He knew Riza was thinking things over. He wanted to give her some time to do so, but they really didn't that time for that.

"Yes," she replied as she pushed all the feelings of herself aside and began thinking of her fellow officers. "Sir, no disrespect intended, but I think you should allow Lieutenant Havoc, as well as both of the Majors, Hughes and Armstrong, to go without punishment."

"And why is that, Second Lieutenant Hawkeye?" the Fuhrer asked, curious to see what Riza's reasoning was. He had never seen anything like this, a soldier apologizing and then demanding things of him.

"Lieutenant Havoc and both the Majors, didn't do anything wrong, sir. The First Lieutenant was trying to replace the window, while the Majors were fixing the room and cleaning the debris. It was the Lieutenant Colonel and myself who were out of line and disobeying orders. So please, allow then to go without punishment. If you would still feel someone needs to be punished, then I will take their punishment upon myself," she replied. She felt it was very wrong to make Havoc, Hughes, and Armstrong pay for things they never were apart of, and what made it even worse was that it was her mistake they were going to pay for.

The Fuhrer thought about this for a moment. He knew Riza would never lie to him, not about something like this. The fact that she would take punishment for another solider really showed her admiration. He had great respect for this woman.

_You have got to be kidding me._ The General sneered from the other end of the room. Riza was really pushing his buttons. _There's no way Bradley could believe that. This woman is not fit to be a solider. She should have tried to defend herself, not apologize, and on top of that she said she'd take the other soldiers punishment. She is weak. She would never make it on the battle field. She'd see one of her fellow officers down, and instead of doing what she needed to do she'd help them. If it was my decision, I'd discharge her right now, and put her in the Stockade as punishment._ Gran grumbled to himself. He'd never seen Riza on the field so he didn't know how gifted she really was. His eyes watched Bradley. The Fuhrer was thinking hard, trying to think of what to do with his dogs.

"I have come to a decision," the Fuhrer said after a few minutes of silence. "After hearing Lieutenant Hawkeye's statement, I have decided not to punish any of you."

All the lower soldiers stared in disbelief.

"WHAT?" Gran snapped. "Fuhrer, these men clearly broke several laws. YOU CANNOT ALLOW THEM TO GO UNFAZED!" the general roared.

"They will carry out the orders I gave them earlier. The First Lieutenant and the Majors will clean up the office. Lieutenant Hawkeye and the Lieutenant Colonel will go to the outskirts of town and take care of those thugs," the Fuhrer instructed.

"Fuhrer," Roy said, disbelief plastered on his ever so perfect face, "Why this ruling?" he asked. He wanted to know why they got away, almost scott free.

"I have listened to Hawkeye's statement and thought it over. I believe you are all sorry for what you have done. You will carry out the orders as I have instructed. Lieutenant Hawkeye, Lieutenant Colonel Mustang. You will both leave first thing in the morning. Lieutenant Havoc, Majors, Hughes and Armstrong, you three will finish with the office. Then we shall never speak of this matter again, understood?"

They all nodded, too stunned to speak. They thought they'd get it for sure.

"You may go now," the Fuhrer said after the stood and stared for a few minutes. They could have left once he finished, he guessed they were just too stunned to react. The Fuhrer smiled, he loved seeing blown away faces on his soldiers.

"Thank you, sir!" they all said and saluted, then left.

As they were walking out, Hughes had his arm draped around Riza, telling her how happy he was they weren't going to get punished, Havoc and Armstrong behind them. They congratulated Riza, as well as thanked her for taking the punishment for them if they were going to get punished.

Roy walked behind them, hands shoved in his pockets. He didn't say anything. He just had his normal cool expression on his face.

"Lieutenant Colonel," the Fuhrer said before Roy left. The dog glanced back at his master. "That woman just saved your job you know," he smirked, "Be sure and thank her when you see her again."

Roy's expression didn't change. He just nodded and left.


	17. Answers Can be Found in Simple Yet Unord

AN: This chapter could and probably will be a little longer then most, just because I'm putting some songs in it. The songs will be in **_bold italic_** font. I don't know what else to make it in. I don't want you to get confused between when the song is playing, and when the character is thinking, that's why I'm doing it this way.

Hmmmm… I'm not getting as many reviews as I did before (thank you to who all do review!) Is this fic not good anymore? Maybe it's because lots of people have read it already? Once I get the new chapters up do you think I'll get reviews like I used too? Lol, just asking, curious to see what your opinion on this is!

RW Grimm: Lol, you fixed it (well… kinda… later chapters, ya know?) and you can't remember what chapter they get things started in? Well, don't feel too bad, because I don't remember either, lol. I'm just posting them. I know it's a few chapter yet, the whole 'Roy walking in on Riza' thing is the next chapter. In your opinion and anyone's who read this before, if you can remember that chapter that I more or less blamed on Riza's mood swings. You know, were things kinda got outta hand, do you think I should rewrite that chapter? People seemed to like it better after I changed how I wrote things (most of them anyway) Do you think I need to rewrite it?

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 17: Answers can be Found in Simple yet Unordinary Ways

"Lieutenant Colonel," the Fuhrer said before Roy left. The dog glanced back at his master. "That woman just saved your job you know," he smirked, "Be sure and thank her when you see her again."

Roy's expression didn't change. He just nodded and left.

"Great job, Riza, next time I'm in trouble I'll ask you for advice on what to say," Hughes said with a smile.

Riza didn't reply. She had somewhat of a sad expression on her face. She couldn't get Roy's expression out of her mind. The way he was looking at her while she was apologizing. It was just so... not Roy. It was like he was apologizing, but not with words. His eyes were so gentle and kind, like he knew how she felt on the inside and wanted to do something, but wasn't sure what to do, or he couldn't do it with what was going on around them.

_Does he really care?_ Riza asked herself as they walked down the long hallway. Her amber eyes focused on the green tile floor. Her body was going home, but her mind was still stuck in the Fuhrer's office, Roy right by her side. _Does he really care? Is he capable of loving a woman? And what is this strange feeling I have all the sudden? I feel I should be happy. But for some odd reason I feel different. I don't know if I'm sad, or confused, or depressed. This is an expression I've never felt before. A feeling of not knowing. I don't even know if I want to know the truth as to why I feel this way. It's such a hopeless feeling, I want to push it away and forget about it, but I can't escape it. It's like I'm lost in a dark room and can't find the door in the lonely darkness. _

"Are you alright, Second Lieutenant?" Armstrong asked as he looked over her shoulder. Her facial expression and lack of words made him a little worried. He didn't know if she was really upset or not.

"Huh?" Riza asked as she snapped out of her mind for a second. "What?"

"Are you ok?" Havoc asked.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Riza replied as she looked back at her friends. Her face somewhat questionable. _Am I really this readable?_ She wondered. Back at the old military base, she was said to have had no emotions. No one knew what she was thinking. But here, here it seemed she couldn't control her emotions at all, and it was driving her mad as to why she couldn't. All she knew was it had something to do with her new commanding officer.

"You just seem really quiet," Hughes replied. His arm still slumped over Riza's shoulder.

"Oh that," she replied quickly, "Well, I'm just as shocked as you were. I never thought the Fuhrer would let us go free like that. It was just that I'm too stunned to say anything."

"Well that's understandable," Hughes said as they walked down the flights of stairs. Armstrong nodded to Riza's response and Havoc just smiled. "It's not everyday something like this happens," he added with a laugh.

Roy was still walking behind them. His dark eyes were also focused on the floor beneath him. He didn't feel the same way Riza did. He wasn't lost or confused. He just felt bad about what happened. He never thought she'd react to everything the way she did in the Fuhrer's office. He thought she'd just shrug it off and take whatever the Fuhrer has to offer. But she didn't, she begged for forgiveness, like a little child when they do something wrong and their mother threatened to take their toy away. On top of that, she was also willing to take Havoc's, Hughes', and Armstrong's punishment as well as her own. Roy had never seen anyone react in that manner, and now he felt bad for it.

"Hey, Roy, you alive back there?" Hughes asked as he glanced back at his sulking friend.

Roy looked up at his friends and gave a small nod. He had his same cool expression. No one knew he was feeling anything negative on the inside.

"I bet you never expected that response for the Fuhrer, did ya?" Hughes asked with a laugh as he took his arm off Riza and waited for Roy to catch up with him.

"Yeah," Roy replied as he glanced up and watched Riza, Armstrong, and Havoc leave through the front entrance.

"Well good grief, this has sure has been an interesting day," he said as they walked outside. It was a beautiful night, not to hot, not to cold. There were no clouds so you could see the stars clearly in the night sky. "I've really gotta be getting home. See you tomorrow, or… whenever you get back from your mission," the Major said as he walked away. His car was parked far away from Roy's. Riza wanted to walk home, she didn't live too far, and it was a nice night. Havoc was driving himself and Armstrong home.

Roy stared up at the stars for a minute or two, and then he headed down the stairs and to his car, which was parked a little ways away from the back of the military buildings.

_It has been a long day._ Roy thought to himself as he approached his car. It was old fashioned, much like all the other cars of that time, and was painted black. Usually he'd find a lower ranking officer to drive him home. That was just how the military was run, but today he really didn't feel like bothering with it. He began unlocking the door. He had decided he wouldn't think of his Second Lieutenant anymore that night.

_She got into it all by herself. She didn't have to try and prank me back. This all happened out of her own free will._ Roy's macho smile retuned as he got in his car and started the engine. He put his car in reverse so he could back out of the parking spot, then he put it in drive. He drove down a few streets, his mind not concentrating on the road, but on the events that happened that day.

It was quiet; most of the families living in the houses on the street had gone to bed long before so the houses were dark, only the street lights shown brightly, as if lighting a path to _his_ and only _his_ destination.

Flashbacks of the bank, the remark about the hooker boot, and the destruction of the office flashed through his mind. He smirked once again when he remembered the expression on Riza's face as each event came to pass. Suddenly without warning a car with their bright headlights on passed Roy's car, the bright lights blinded Roy for a second and a glimpse of Riza apologizing flashed through his mind. He remembered the look in her eyes. She wasn't going to cry, but you could see all the sorrow in her eyes. He shook his head violently. _This isn't my problem. I didn't make her do anything. With the way that woman acts, she'll be able to shake this off. Don't worry about her. _Roy kept repeating to himself over and over. The street lights came and went around his small car as he drove down the small two lane road. _I need some music._ He thought to himself. "Yes, that will get her off my mind," he said as he reached for the radio dial. He didn't care what he listened to, just something to take his mind off things. He turned the radio on, it was a talk show. Not what he was in the mood for. He continued playing with the dial until he found a station that played soft soothing songs. He heard a man's voice on the radio.

"**_And for all you men out there who are seeking advice. We have a song coming up that may answer a few of your questions."_** The voice on the radio said.

Roy smirked at his remark. _Answer my questions, yeah right._

The song began playing; it was a guitar beat with and a little bit of drums, not anything electric or heavy metal. A pleasant tune that wasn't a really a slow song that bored you to death. It had enough power, but also enough calmness to balance out nicely. The singer began singing. It was a man, he sounded somewhat older, his voice blended nicely with the music.

_**Don't ride your bike off a ramp that's more than three bricks high  
Don't take that candy from the store if you ain't got the dime  
Don't pick a fight with a little guy that doesn't talk that much  
Don't pick up a cherrybomb thinkin' it's a dud  
And don't sneak out of a 2 story house usin' bed sheets for a rope  
Don't ask me how I know**_

_**Sell your truck while it's still runnin', save the Jesus off the dash  
Say a prayer when you feel like cussin', save your money pay with cash  
Forget your pride, buy the roses, if you're sorry tell her so  
Don't drink the water in Mexico  
Don't ask me how I know**_

_**Don't quit your high school football team halfway through the season  
Don't bust your buddy in the nose when you know he didn't mean it  
Don't lose a girl you love at home for a night in Panama City  
Don't rush off the phone when your Mama calls, you ain't that busy  
Ya oughta make that drive to say goodbye to your grampa 'fore he goes  
Don't ask me how I know**_

_**Sell your truck while it's still runnin', save the Jesus off the dash  
Say a prayer when you feel like cussin', save your money pay with cash  
Forget your pride, buy the roses, if you're sorry tell her so  
Don't drink the water in Mexico  
Don't ask me how I know**_

The lights from the outside world continued to flash through Roy's windows. He rolled down his window to get some air. There was a small breeze, nothing major, just enough to blow his black bangs across his forehead calmly. The wind stopped for a moment as Roy turned a corner; the body of the car blocked the wind from coming in. Once the car was going in a straight line it began blowing in again.

_**Forget your pride buy the roses, if you love her tell her so,  
Don't go to Vegas with your heart broke,  
Don't bum your cousin for that first smoke  
I'm tellin' ya, don't drink the water in Mexico  
**_

_Answering my questions, 'forget your pride and buy the roses'._ Roy calculated what this man was saying in his head. _Is that really what I should do? Everything else he was saying sounded right. Is that right, too?_

**_Don't ask me how I know  
Don't ask me how I know  
I just know  
Sell your truck while it's still runnin', say a prayer when you feel like cussin'  
I know._**

Roy tuned off the radio as he pulled into the parking lot in front of the building that held his apartment. He began thinking about what the man was saying as he turned off his car, got out of his car, and walked into the apartment building, still wondering about the song and Riza.

Riza had made it home a long time before Roy. She was lying on her bed in a light blue, button up, night shirt. She tossed and tuned in her bed. She couldn't sleep even thought she felt exhausted. She glanced at her wrist watch. Her amber eyes squinted in the dark, trying to make out the time.

"Oh my gosh, it's 4:34 in the morning," she groaned as she sat up and stretched a bit. Then she slumped forward, from the waist down she remained in the sitting position, but her upper body lay, stretched out on the bed, her arms almost reaching the end of the soft warm bed. _How am I supposed to sleep? And why is that man on my mind? I try to get him to leave, but he insists on staying and tormenting me. Even when he's not around I still get annoyed with him._ She though, she got up. Her bare feet felt cold on the wooden floor.

She walked through her small apartment and into the kitchen. Her kitchen was small as well. In the back of the room was a backdoor. In the front of the room was the door she had entered through, next to the door sat a stove. Next to the stove against the right wall sat a sink and cabinets hung above it on the white walls, next to the sink was a white fridge. Everything in the room was white, the walls, the cabinets, and the floor, all of it was painted white. On the left wall was a kitchen table, it was pressed against the wall. She didn't need much seating because she was the only one there, and it saved space. She grabbed a quick snack out of the pantry and slumped down in the kitchen chair, laying her snack on a napkin that sat on the table. It was dark and quiet in the room. She sat there for a few minutes thinking about Roy and the way he looked at her. She just couldn't banish that look from her mind, like it was frozen in time and would forever be imbedded in her thoughts.

Then she got an idea to get him off her mind. She reached over to the small radio that sat on the table, pressed up against the wall. Her fingers traced the small brown object as she tried to find the dial in the dark. She found it and clicked it on. She immediately found a station she liked.

There was no voice talking on the station, she must have missed that, music had just stared playing. It was soft, quiet and peaceful. Just a guitar playing a slow calming melody. Just before the lyrics in the song started a piano as well as a few other string instruments began playing. The singer was a young woman, probably about her age.

_**Time after time, I've turned away from you,  
When all I had to do was surrender to your love.  
You've seen me stumble, you've watched me fall,  
And though I heard you call, I just wasn't strong enough.  
But there's an emptiness inside without you in my life:  
Lord, I hope you hear my prayer tonight.**_

Won't you blind my eyes, when all I see is temptation.  
Break my stride, when I'm runnin' from the truth.  
An' tie my hands, when I reach out with desire.  
Go on an' do what you must do,  
Whatever you must put me through till I turn to you.  
Yeah.

Riza listened to the lyrics this young girl was singing. It reminded her a lot of Roy and herself. Like the song was being told from her point of view and it was telling the way she felt, or thought she might be feeling, about Roy. These were the things she wanted Roy to do to her if she couldn't convince herself of the truth.

**_I know that others fall down on their knees for mercy,  
But you may have to hurt me before I see the light._**  
**_'Cause I've gone as far as I can go by myself:  
I need your help if I'm gonna get it right.  
I'm tired of strugglin' every day,  
I wanna know the way,  
So now the only prayer I wanna pray:_**

As she listened to the music play she began thinking more about Roy and herself. Flashbacks of the past few days didn't pass through her mind like it had done with Roy's, but calming images, such as Roy's eyes when she was apologizing to the Fuhrer, and the way he smirked when he was happy or had a crazy idea.

Suddenly, the music got stronger and the girl's voice picked up, like she really meant what she was saying. It was all coming from her soul.

_**Is just blind my eyes, when all I see is temptation.  
Break my stride, when I'm runnin' from the truth.  
An' tie my hands, when I reach out with desire.  
Go on an' do what you must do,  
Whatever you must put me through**_

_**Till I turn to you.  
Yeah…**_

Blind my eyes;  
Break my stride;  
Let every want to be denied;  
Whatever you must do.  
An' tie my hands;  
Ignore my demands;  
Build a wall that stands so high, I can't get through,  
Till I turn to you, yeah.  
Until I turn to you.  
'Cause I wanna turn to you.  


As the song ended and the music stopped playing Riza began thinking. So many thoughts rushed through her head, and even more now that she had seen things through the point of view of the song. _Is this what that strange feeling was?_ She wondered. _Am I really just trying to run away from him? Trying to push him out of my mind?_

She began wondering about what Roy really was trying to get at. What he was really thinking. Then a voice came on the radio, it was the same man Roy had heard. **_"Alright for all you ladies out there, ever wonder what you man has been thinking? Well we have a song coming up next that should answer all those questions. Sorry guys, but we couldn't leave them in the dark."_**

_Hmm…_ She wondered as she listened to what the man was saying. _The truth about men, this may help._

The music that began playing had a comical tune. Mostly only the twangy sound a guitar was heard. The song sounded like it was sung by about four redneck men, all middle aged and jobless.

"This better not be that hobo," Riza said harshly.

_**We don't like to go out shoppin',  
We don't care what's on sale.  
We just want to sit with a bag full of chips,  
Watchin' the NFL.  
When you come over at half-time,  
An' say: "Does this dress fit too tight?"  
We just look you in the eye with a big fat lie,  
An say:"Uh, uh: Looks just right."**_

Well, that's the truth about men.  
Yeah, that's the truth about us.  
We like to hunt and golf on our days off,  
Scratch, an' spit, an cuss.  
It don't matter what line we hand you,  
When we come draggin' in.  
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,  
An' it's probably gonna happen again.

Riza's expression began to change as she heard the confession from these men. She turned on the light that was in the ceiling and started at the small radio, annoyance began to show on her face. She couldn't believe this was true.

_**We hate watchin' "Steel Magnolias".  
We like "Rambo" an' "Die Hard 4".  
Jump up and down like fools when we see the new tools,  
At the Home Depot store.  
We don't really wanna take you to dinner,  
At some fancy restaurant.  
The only reason we do is 'cause we know it leads to,  
The one thing that we all want.**_

Well, that's the truth about men.  
Yeah, that's the truth about guys.  
We'd rather play guitars and work on cars,  
Than work on the problems in our lives.  
An' though we might say it to you,  
Every now and then,  
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,  
An' it's probably gonna happen again.

Well, if you want to know what we're all thinkin',  
It's nothing too complex.  
It's just somethin' cold for drinkin',  
And a whole lot of s-e...

Yes, that's the truth about men.  
Yeah, that's the truth about guys.  
We like to hunt and golf an' drive around, lost,  
Scratch, an' spit, an' a whole lot of other disgustin' stuff.  
It don't matter what line we give you,  
When we come a-crawlin' in.  
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,  
An' it's probably gonna happen again.

We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,  
An' it's probably gonna happen;  
Sure, it's gonna happen;  
You know it's gonna happen again…  


_**An' that's the truth about men.**_

Riza had a very annoyed look on her face. This song had told her all of what Roy was thinking. She just sneered and grumbled, "Goodnight, sir." Then she clicked off the light and walked back to her room, a little steamed.

AN: The songs I used in this chapter were all country songs (yes I'm a country fan, but I hate those old country songs. I love the new stuff) The first one I used was called "Don't Ask Me How I Know" by Bobby Pinson. In Roy's case I didn't need something real deep. Just something to make him wonder. The 'forget your pride buy the roses' bit was what I was leaning toward on that one.

The second one is called "Canyon Prayer" by Jessi Alexander. I thought that was more or less how Riza felt about Roy. I just needed it to make Riza realize it, as well as to help you get a better idea of how Riza was feeling.

And the last one is called, of course, "The Truth About Men" and it's by Blake Shelton, Montgomery Gentry, and Andy Griggs (I think, Trace Adkins may be in there too, dunno). I know there are a lot of things in there that couldn't happen in the FMA world, such as the 'watching the NFL' and stuff like that, but the overall stuff fit just fine, and it's a song, songs always have stuff that aren't true in them, you could think of it like that I suppose. I just put that in there because I felt like it. It's so Full Metal, things are all serious and then something funny pops up out of no where, that was the 'poppin' thing, lol. Plus I needed a good way to end the chapter. Please review and tell me what you think!


	18. The Horror of Early Beautiful Mornings

AN: Hi ya'll! Thank ya for all them there reviews! They just make me feel so darn special. (I know, that sounded gay. But I'm tired of just saying 'thanks for the reviews' so I decided to say it like a redneck. Don't ask I dunno why I did it either. I'm just crazy like that!

Pil-Z: That would be awesome, if I could just turn on the radio and it gave me all the answers I needed on my zoology homework. But hey, that would make life too easy now, wouldn't it? That appears to be a crime now a days, nothing comes cheap, nothing comes easy, and there are no guarantees.

I'm sorry to those of you who aren't country fans! But I am one, and they seemed to fit, and I felt like putting them in, so… yeah. Hope you didn't mind it too much, and if you did, well... it's over for now... right?

don'tbreakme: What did I mean by 'Roy walking in on Riza'? Well… all I can say is read and find out. It's in this chapter, mwahahahahahhaha!

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 18: The Horror of Early Beautiful Mornings

Riza had finally fallen asleep at 5:30 or so that morning. The signs of dawn were just beginning to show. The sun was creeping up slowly on the sleeping city and the birds were just beginning to chirp.

About an hour or so later she was sleeping soundly when she heard someone blowing their car horn outside. She thought it was just one of her neighbors trying to get the attention of their sleeping girlfriend. "Mmmmm…." she grumbled as she pulled the dark blue blanket over her head, trying to block out the oncoming sun and obnoxious noise.

A few minutes later a loud pounding was heard on her front door. "Hey, are you in there!" a male voice shouted as the pounding continued.

Riza's eyes popped open in a 'oh crap' manner as she scrambled to get out of bed.

"I'M GONNA BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN IN ABOUT TWO MINUTES!" the voice shouted, a hint of irritability was in the man's voice.

"JUST HOLD ON!" Riza snapped back as she reached for her military clothes, which were draped over the back of a nearby chair. She knew who it was, it was Roy.

"Lieutenant! We were supposed to have left half an hour ago!" Roy shouted as he glanced at his watch. He had no idea what Riza was doing in there. She didn't seem like the type of person to oversleep.

_Beep!_

_Beep!_

The solider who was driving them to the designated area was getting very tired of waiting. Inside the car sat a young man. He had short brown hair, dark blue eyes, and a bad attitude.

"Just hold on a minute!" Roy yelled to the car sitting in the street.

_Beep!_

The driver beeped again. He had a very impatient look on his face. It was more or less his day off. Once he dropped Roy and Riza off he was free to go, and he had a sweet honey at home waiting for him.

"Hmmm..." Roy gave him somewhat of an irritated look as he turned back to Riza's door and began pounding again.

"I SAID I'D BE OUT IN A MINUTE!" Riza yelled again as she struggled to get out of her pajamas and into her military clothes.

_This isn't working._ Roy thought to himself and put his hand on the doorknob. _It's locked. That's just like her to lock a good man like me outside in the cold. I guess I'll just have to let myself in._ Roy smirked.

It was as if the man in the car knew just what Roy was thinking. He rolled down the window, stuck his head out, then shouted, "Out in the cold is just where you belong!"

Roy pretended not to hear that remark and lefted his foot up, ready to kick the door in. He had no idea Riza was in the middle of changing, nor did Riza know Roy was about to break in.

_Bam!_ The door flew open and hit the wall behind it hard, leaving an indentation where the knob hit and punctured the white wall.

Riza snapped upright, she was fighting with her bra at the moment. Her hair was a mess, tangled in knots all over; she hadn't had a chance to brush it yet. _Please tell me he didn't do what I think he just did._ A thought rushed through her mind as she lunged for her bedroom door, but it was too late. The door swung open and Roy's unsuspecting head popped in.

"Hey, we have to g-" he was cut off when he saw Riza standing right in front of him, dressed in nothing but her white bra and underwear, her navy blue pants hung around her ankles. Roy couldn't do anything but stare.

Riza snapped and grabbed the book that lay on the nearby desk, she threw it at him. It was a thick hardcover book. "GET OUT OF HERE!" she yelled.

Roy still stared, like he was hypnotized.

"Ouch," Roy said when the book hit him in the chest with a thud, then it fell to the floor in front of him. He was about to close the door when he popped his head in for one last look. _Nice, very nice._

"YOU!" Riza sneered when she saw the expression on his face. She quickly grabbed her blanket off her bed, wrapping up in it.

Roy then smirked and closed the door. He sank to the floor and waited for Riza to become descent.

_I can't believe that guy._ _He'd better be happy my hostler wasn't in reach._ Riza grumbled as she put her clothes on. _Barging in on a woman like that. He should be arrested._ She clearly wasn't happy knowing she had just exposed herself to the Lieutenant Colonel.

After a few moments of listening to Riza grumble to herself, Roy decided he'd put her through enough torment. This just pushed it over the top. "I'm sorry, Second Lieutenant."

Riza stopped what she was doing for a moment and thought about this. _He just apologized. Does he really mean it? The tone of his voice sounded true. Is he really sorry? Or just trying to get the better of me and sneak another peek._

"Are you alright in there?" Roy asked as he stood up and knocked on her door. All the noise inside had stopped and didn't start up again. He wondered if the words 'I'm sorry' caused her to faint. He'd heard women say they'd know they were dying if their husband apologized for something, because they never did unless it was something very serious.

"Yes, I'm aright," she replied quietly. Her voice sounded the same as it did the night before. It was so strange, she felt as if she was reverting back to that hopeless feeling she had the night before. She began pulling on her dark brown t-shirt, and then she grabbed her blue military top.

"Ok," Roy replied. He too became serious when he heard the tone in her voice. _I guess she hasn't snapped out of it yet._ He thought. "I just wanted to say. I'm sorry about everything that happened, and for what just happened. I didn't know you were half naked, I swear."

Riza thought about this, and about this strange feeling she had, and the song she heard last night. The one that made her wonder if she really loved Roy. _Break my stride when I'm running from the truth. Am I really just trying to run away? Maybe this is really what I think it is, and I'm too stubborn to realize and except it._

"Do you forgive me?" Roy asked. This was truly a step out of character for Roy. He had just apologized instead of making a rude come back. _That's a big step up._ Roy thought to himself. _I better not let this get out into the public. But I can say I saw 'more' of Riza then she lets on._ He smirked as the image of Riza in her underwear passed through his mind. "Well, do you forgive me? Second Lieutenant, I demand an answer, yes or no?"

Riza thought about this for a moment. _Time after time I've turned away from you; when all I had to do was surrender to your love._ She came out of her train of thought and was about to say yes when the other song popped into her head. _We ain't wrong, we ain't sorry, and it's probably gonna happen again._ Her expression became somewhat angry as she pushed the black boots on her feet. '_That' won't happen again, I can tell you that. _

Roy was still awaiting an answer when the door opened and Riza walked out, fully dressed in uniform and hair pulled back into a ponytail. "I'm sorry I overslept, sir," she said and walked to the front door.

"Uh, that's ok," Roy replied as he followed her. The expression on her face remained blank and calm. He couldn't read her emotions, so he didn't know what to say. So he wouldn't make another mistake he didn't say anything. They walked to the car in silence, got in the back seat, and the waited for the journey to begin.


	19. Are We There Yet?

AN: You Already know what I'm gonna say…

gundams forever: I think she would have thrown more too, but she really didn't have much there, and that was a strange situation. I don't think she knew what to do really.

mistressofheaven: One after this one. Lol, don't worry; after I reread it again I saw that it REALLY needs to be redone. I don't know if I'm gonna rewrite the whole thing are just parts of it. You will have to wait and be surprised, wither the whole thing is redone or not, it will still be different… or… somewhat different… I also remember I changed something at the last minute so it seemed out of place in the next chapter. I changed that as well. You'll see what I mean soon when you catch hints of it. (Sorry, I know this sounds dumb, explaining it this way so I don't give it away to first time readers. I hope you know what I'm getting at. I think you would, but if you don't, it is what we were just talking about for the next chapter. You know 'that' thing.)

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 19: Are We There Yet?

Roy and Riza sat in the back seat of the small car. If you were looking back from the driver's seat, Roy was sitting on the left side and Riza was on the right. Roy had his elbow resting on the bottom of the window, his chin in his hand as he watched the boring scenery pass by, just a bunch of ugly buildings. _This whole city looks the same._ He whined to himself as he yawned. It was a very boring drive indeed, stop go, stop go, stop go in all the heavy traffic. It was also very quiet, Riza refused to say anything to him and the driver just drove. He was a real grump, Roy didn't really want to talk to him, all he'd do was complain.

Riza started out her window as well. _Oh, why did it have to start now? Of all the times for 'that' to happen. Why did it have to begin last night? _Riza began to curse herself, but not showing any hints of it to Roy. She took in a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain in her abdomen. It wasn't a very good day to say the least. The mood she was in could only be blamed on the way she felt. The lower part of her abdomen was very tense and ached, her stomach was upset, and she had one of the worst headaches anyone could imagine. She leaned against the back seat, her arms crossed over her waist in a relaxed fashion. She was doing her best to not show any hints of pain, weakness, or irritability toward Roy. She did this by avoiding him and staring out the window. She was very bored as well, but didn't show any signs of it. She looked calm and cool as she stared at the car next to them. It was the same type of car as theirs, except it was blue, theirs was grey. In the back seat sat a little boy, about four or five years old. He had short blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked surprisingly a lot like a younger version of Havoc.

Once they came to a stop he jumped up out of his seat and put his arm out the partly open window. Riza's eyes widened the second she saw the boy stick his arm out, a new red toy car in his hand. He was waving it around like he was driving a car on the busy road, too. _This is a fast road, and the next stop is one that just pops up out of nowhere, lots of accidents happen there because no one sees it coming. If the mother doesn't see it and has to slam on her breaks that boy will go flying right out the front windshield, either that, or his arm will keep him in the back seat, but will be broken from the force of the blow. _Riza thought to herself as she thought this through in her mind. The cars started going. The vehicle with the little boy inside sped up faster then theirs, leaving them behind.

She could see the little boy's arm still hanging out the window. "Speed Up!" she demanded.

"Huh?" both Roy and the driver said in unison as Roy looked over at her and the driver looked in the rearview mirror. They're faces both questionable.

"What for?" the driver asked taking his eyes off the mirror every few seconds to look back at the road.

"Just do it. Get even with that car," Riza ordered as she pointed to the blue car, now a great distance away from them. _She doesn't know the stop is there. If she did, she wouldn't be going this fast, it's suicidal._ The military dog thought to herself as her amber eyes flashed from the speeding car back to the driver's confused face, showing clearly in the mirror.

"But…" the driver began.

Roy resumed his original position of sleepily staring out his window again, "Just do it," he said. His voice relaxed and bored. "It gets us there faster. The faster the better, then we can go home."

"But why?" the driver asked again. It seemed as if his grumpy mood just melted away as he listened to the strange talk in the back.

Roy's dark eye glanced over a Riza for a moment. He saw her amber eyes begging to flame. "DO IT!" he snapped. He didn't want Riza in a worse mood then she was already in, and a little speeding never hurt anything. They were only 20 miles over the speed limit. Another 25-30 miles wouldn't hurt.

"…ok…" the man replied. He was truly and utterly confused, but Roy was his superior. What else could he do? He pushed his foot hard down on the gas, making them accelerate very quickly. The force pushed Riza and Roy back into their seats slightly.

They came upon the blue car quickly after that. "Now what?" the driver asked as they came up next to the speeding vehicle.

"Go up a little more, so I am even with that car's backseat," Riza instructed as she stared at the little arm, still waving the car around. The stop was only a little way away. She had to think of something fast. "Ok, that's good," Riza said when she came face to face with the boy. He was laughing and smiling playfully as the two cars drag raced.

"Hey," Roy said nervously when he saw Riza reaching for her holster. "What are you doing?" He asked as he came out of his 'relaxed' trance and started at her, somewhat scared. His hand on the door handle, falling out of a speeding car was better then getting shot. _Does she want witnesses? _Roy wondered. He thought she was going to kill him. He knew she was mad, but not this mad. He'd seen plenty of girls in their underwear; none of them got this angry. _But what else did she want her gun for?_

Riza didn't pay any attention to Roy. She waited for the best chance to get the boy's attention. "HEY, KID!" she yelled loudly. She had to scream it out so her voice would tower over the two engines.

They sped over a bump, sending the dogs flying off their seats and toward the roof. It didn't faze Riza. She kept her eyes on the car and her mind on the situation.

"Owww," Roy whined as he rubbed the top of his head. He glanced up at the roof with an annoyed expression.

"Huh?" the boy looked at her questionably. Then he smiled and held up his toy car so she could see it, a big proud smile on his face.

"LOOK AT THIS!" Riza snapped. She tried to sound angry. She wanted to scare the boy. Then she quickly pulled her gun out over the window and pointed it at him. She aimed right between his eyes.

"AHHHHHHH!" the boy squealed in fear as he jumped back down in his seat, cowering in fear. Then it happened. His mother saw the stop and slammed on her breaks, almost slamming into the car in front of her. She stopped with mere inches to spare.

"Are you alright?" she looked back in the backseat at her boy. He was lying down on the seat crying. She hadn't seen anything Riza had done. She thought the boy was just frightened from what just happened.

Their car sped passed the blue one. They didn't have to stop because they weren't turning. Riza sat back in her seat and gave a big sigh of relief. Then she put her pistol away.

Roy and the driver just stared. They saw it happen, but couldn't believe it. "How could you do that?" Roy snapped. "You just aimed your weapon at a child!"

"I just saved his life," Riza replied as she glanced over at Roy. A slight hint of annoyance in her voice.

"But…" Roy began, but stopped himself. He just smirked then went back to looking out his window.

"Uh?" the driver looked at them through his mirror. They were motionless, much like they were when this little road trip started. "I think we need some music," he said. He needed something to break the silence, and after just seeing that, he needed something else to put his mind on. It was strange, after something such as that. People would be screaming or cheering, but there was nothing here. It was just… odd. "Yes, some music," he said again as he took his hand off the steering wheel and moved it toward the radio dial.

He played with the dial for a few minutes before he found a station that'd worked. It was strange; on most of the stations all they got was static. Then they found one that worked. They heard a man's voice on the radio. It sounded strangely and suspiciously familiar. Like they knew the person and he was trying to disguise his voice.

Roy and Riza glanced at each other in wonder…

"Nah!"

"**_Alright all you cat's and chick's out there, are you in a fight with your special someone? Well, don't worry about it too much. We have a song coming up next that will lift your spirits and make all those feeling of hatred and rage just melt away!"_** the voice said as music began playing. It was another country song. Roy sighed, he hated these songs, nothing blew up. The beat was fast and fun. The instruments used were those that were used in rock and roll, but played in a way that it still sounded country-ish. There was also a hint of the good ol' guitar and violin, but played at a fast beat. The 'oing' and 'yeahing' began. The singer was a woman, older then the two of them, but not an old lady. Her voice was somewhat deep, like she was a little angry when she sang, but also fun. It fit the song perfectly.

_**Last night we went to bed not talkin',  
'cause we'd already said too much.  
I faced the wall, you faced the window.  
Bound and determined not to touch.**_

We've been married seven years now.  
Some days it feels like 21.  
I'm still mad at you this mornin'.  
Coffee's ready if you want some.  
I've been up since five, thinkin' bout me and you.  
And I've got to tell you the conclusion I've come to.

I'll never leave, I'll never stray.  
My love for you will never change.  
But I ain't ready to make up.  
We'll get around to that.  
I think I'm right, I think you're wrong.  
I'll prob'ly give in before long.  
Please don't make me smile.  
I just wanna be mad for a while.

These lyrics made Roy a little suspicious. He glanced over at Riza. She remained as she was. She heard the song, but didn't really seem to care what it said, even though it was very true. He looked back out his window, wondering. The buildings were flashing by. The style of the buildings began to change. They weren't so big or crowded, a little beaten up looking. They were getting farther and father out of the city.

_**Well, now you might as well forget it.  
Don't run your fingers through my hair.  
Yeah, that's right, I'm bein' stubborn.  
No, I don't wanna go back upstairs.  
I'm gonna leave for work without a goodbye kiss.  
But as I'm drivin' off, just remember this.**_

I'll never leave, I'll never stray.  
My love for you will never change.  
But I ain't ready to make up.  
We'll get around to that.  
I think I'm right, I think you're wrong.  
I'll prob'ly give in before long.  
Please don't make me smile.

_**I just wanna be mad for a while.**_

The driver glanced in his mirror for a moment. Just to see how they were reacting. He was a little nervous that Riza would shoot him for listening to a song like this, but she didn't do anything out of the ordinary.

_**I'll never leave, I'll never stray.  
My love for you will never change.  
But I ain't ready to make up.  
We'll get around to that.  
I think I'm right, I think you're wrong.  
I'll prob'ly give in before long.  
Please don't make me smile.  
I just wanna be mad for a while.**_

_**I just wanna be mad for a while.**_

"Is that really true?" Roy asked as he looked over at Riza again. She gave him a small glance, and then looked back out her window. "Second Lieutenant," he said in a stern voice.

She turned back to him. She was about to say something when a strange broadcast came through the radio. **_"Hey, what are you doing in here?"_** the man they had heard on the radio the night before came on. He sounded angry and surprised.

"**_Ah! I was just umm... yeah!"_** the strangely familiar voice replied. A loud noise was heard and the object he was using to hide his voice somehow went off and his true voice came through the speaker. **_"Hey, watch the shirt!"_**

"You have to be kidding," Riza said as she stared at the radio.

Roy clenched his fist as an annoyed look appeared on his face. "…Hughes…" he grumbled.

The scene changed over to the radio room. Hughes was sitting in the broadcaster's chair. He was leaning back and his feet were propped up on the desk comfortably. He held the microphone in his hand. Then the real radio broadcaster came in.

"Ah!" Hughes yelled as the broadcasted grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him away from the machine which held all the buttons and switches, turning off his voice disguiser.

"Stay out!" the man barked as he threw Hughes out on the sidewalk.

Hughes fell on his face with a thud. He glanced up, his glasses covered in dirt. He blew some of the dirt off his lips and gave a big smile. His glasses lit up through the light colored dirt as he gave a little chuckle. "Hehehe, have a nice trip you two," he said evilly.

"What was that about?" the driver asked. He knew Hughes, but for some reason it never hit him.

"Nothing," Roy replied as he slumped back in the seat. His fist relaxed and he folded his arms over his chest. He started out the window, the annoyed look still on his face.

Riza looked back out her window as well.

"Oh," Roy said after about a seconds of silence. "You never answered my question," he said as he snapped back into his cool voice and looked over at Riza.

She looked back at him. She gave a small look of hopelessness and was about to answer when the broadcaster came back on the radio.

"_**Sorry about that. We had a few minor problems."**_

"Minor… yeah…right…" Roy grumbled.

"**_Now that that's done with, on with the music! I think this song fits well after that hooligan broke in."_**

The scene switched to Hughes once again. He was crouching down on the sidewalk, holding a small black machine to his ear, listening to one of the break dancing kid's radio.

"Hooligan!" he shouted in disgust. "I'm trying to build a relationship here! Isn't that what country is all about?"

"Hey come on man, give it back," one of the kids whined.

The scene once again switched back to Roy and Riza. (Sorry about all the switching.)

"This is going to be good. If it fits well with Hughes making an idiot out of himself, then country is ok in my book," Roy smirked.

"Which book would that be, sir?" Riza asked in her usual tone. "Could it be that book of golden rules you told me about that night in the bank. The one with the rule about the mini skirts?"

"Hm?" the driver's head popped up. The 'mini skirts' word caught his interest.

Before Roy could answer the song started. The song was heavy and mean, not your typical country song. The singer was a woman. Her voice was deep and she sounded like a total witch.

_**Well, you filled up my head with so many lies.  
You twisted my heart till somethin' snapped inside.  
I'd like to give it one more try,  
But my give-a-damn's busted.**_

You can crawl back home, say you were wrong;  
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long.  
Well, go ahead and water the lawn:  
My give-a-damn's busted.

I really wanna care.  
I wanna feel somethin'.  
Let me dig a little deeper:.  
No, sorry: nothin'.

You can say you've got issues, you can say you're a victim.  
It's all your parents fault, after all you didn't pick 'em.  
Maybe somebody else has got time to listen:  
My give-a-damn's busted.

Roy and the driver glanced down at the radio. This song was so harsh; couldn't the woman singing see the poor man was trying to apologize? She was just bashing him farther and farther into the ground. There's only so much a man can take before his spirits broken. Lucky for them one peek at a mini skirt will heal them right up.

"This woman sounds like a total witch," Roy said as he listened.

"Yeah right," the driver replied with a smile, "Listen to her, she sounds so hot!"

Riza and Roy just looked at each other, "I'm not getting into this. If you want a woman who will act like a jerk and treat you like dirt then that's your decision," Riza said. She agreed with what some of the woman said, but she didn't have to say it in such a mean way.

"She sounds like you," Roy grumbled, luckily Riza hadn't heard him over the loud instrumental.

**_Well, your therapist says it was all a mistake:  
A product of the Prozac an' your co-dependent ways.  
So who's your enabler these days?  
My give-a-damn's busted._**

I really wanna care.  
I wanna feel somethin'.  
Let me dig a little deeper:.  
No, still nothin'.

It's a desperate situation, no tellin' what you'll do.  
If I don't forgive you, you say your life is through.  
C'mon, gimme somethin' I can use:  
My give-a-damn's busted.

Well, I really wanna care.  
I wanna feel somethin'.  
Let me dig a little deeper:  
No, I'm sorry.  
Just nothin', you know.  
You've really done it this time, ha, ha.  
My give-a-damn's busted.

A few minutes after the song ended Riza turned to Roy, "You wanted my answer, sir?"

Roy nodded.

"That first song wasn't true, but that was," she replied in her normal solider tone. She would have smirked, but that was far to out of her character.

Roy just gave a sigh, some of it was 'oh great' and another part was hopelessness. After hearing that, how could he treat women the same way? They'd bash him into the ground with country songs and haunt him forever. "Turn it off," the Lieutenant Colonel said and looked out the window again. They were nearly there. He couldn't help himself. He had to say it, and in a little whiny kid voice too, "Are we there yet?"

"Awwww!" Hughes whined, still holding the radio. "Thanks a lot, man. I'm sure Riza and Roy will get along really well after hearing that."

One of the kids snatched the radio out of his grasp and ran off. Hughes just looked after them, milk tears streaming down his cheeks. "Why does everyone hate me? First I get thrown out on the street by a radio dude, and then a little brat steals a radio from me. It's so unfair. All I was trying to do was help," Hughes said quietly as he got up, shoved his hands in his pockets, and sulked all the way back to work. "What's worse is my voice thingy got switched off. That's means Roy probably heard me." He paused for a moment. "OH CRAP! ROY COULD HAVE HEARD ME!" he cried and darted off to the Central building. He figured he might as well get some practice in running away before Roy ever actually used his flames on him.

AN: So what did ya think? I hope you liked it. I'll tell you, just before I posted this the idea to put Hughes in there popped into my head. I had to go back and change a bunch of stuff. I couldn't help myself. He's so evil, trying to get Roy and Riza together in secret! I guess he's still sticking to his life long dream of trying to get Roy a wife, ne?

The songs were "I Just Wanna be Mad" by Terri Clark and "My Give a Damn's Busted" by Jo Dee Messina! They're awesome! Sorry to all you Jo Dee fans out there. I didn't mean to call her a witch, but in the music video she just looked so much like one, lol.


	20. That Time Comes at the Worst T

AN: Hi guys! Thanks so much for the reviews! And for being patient with me! Yes, I know some of you are wondering; I am in fact still alive. Just REALLY busy. I mean, REALLY, REALLY busy, (and that's an understatement) I go to school, then come home for about 20 minutes, then go to work, then get off work at 10 pm, THEN come home and do homework. So yeah… can you see the reason for my none-updating-ness? Hope so! I'm really sorry! It's not my fault! I hate it and I want to quit but my parents won't let me. Sighs.

Oh, I know I said I was going to rewrite this chapter… well… I'm not. Sorry again. I tried, but I just don't have the time too. If you REALLY don't like it, then say it in a review, depending on the numbers I'll see if it REALLY needs to be redone. If it does then I'll remove it and rewrite it… whenever I get a chance… and I dunno when that will be so… yeah… So yeah people, I know Riza is WAY over the top in this chapter, that's why I wanted to rewrite it. Don't worry though. She's A LOT better in following chapters!

Warning to the readers, Riza will be a little out of character in this chapter, maybe a lot depending on the reader, but when it's that-time-of-the-month isn't everyone out of their usual character? Keep that in mind and please don't gripe to me that she's out of character, I already know. Blame it on the mood swings. I also hope everyone reading this is old enough to know what I'm talking about. I really don't want to have to explain it that could get a little messy, lol.

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 20: 'That Time' Always Comes at the Worst Time, Doesn't It?

"Here we are," the driver said as he stopped in a not-so-nice looking area. It really was the outskirts of town. The way, way outskirts. The ground was nothing but sand and the buildings were all old and falling apart, they were a blast from the past, all made of wood. The place was clearly abandoned by all intelligent forms of life. No sighs of life or worse, electricity anywhere. Central was so far off only the biggest and widest buildings shown on the bright horizon. It was very hot, the suns rays where bouncing off the sand and back into their faces.

The driver let Roy and Riza out. He helped them unload their gear. Medical supplies, food, canteens of water, you know, the usual for a mission in the 'pit' as it was often called. After it was all unloaded he got back in his car and rolled down the window. "I'll come back when ever the Fuhrer tells me too," he said, then rather quickly, drove away. The sand was being kicked up everywhere from the spinning car tires, making a mini sand storm.

"How is the Fuhrer going to know when we are done here?" Roy shouted, but the driver was already gone. An annoyed expression appeared on his face as he looked around for a good spot for their makeshift home. The 'pit' was set up like an ordinary town. There were buildings on both sides of them, the paths of sand behind and in front of the buildings were streets at one time. The buildings were all junky. Some had caved in. All the windows had been blown out. Some others were still standing, but had gaping holes in the roof or sides.

_What am I supposed to do now?_ Riza wondered as she looked at her surroundings. This 'no electricity' thing was really going to be a problem in her 'current' satiation. _No flushable toilets. _Just as she began thinking about it, the pain began coming on, a sharp pain in her lower abdomen. She put her hand on the lower part of her stomach, rubbing it, trying to get the pain to leave. _Cramps are probably the most annoying apart of this whole thing._ She thought to herself. Once Roy glanced back at her she quickly removed her hand. There was no way she was going to confess if she didn't have to. She knew Roy; he'd just laugh at her.

"Is something wrong?" he asked. Riza was acting strange. The 'not talking' thing was just the beginning, now she was making weird hand gestures and trying to hide it once he looked at her.

"No," she replied as she stared back at him. Her face remained calm though she wanted to flinch a little from the cramping pain. _Oh, why did it have to start last night? I hope he doesn't do anything I'd normally get annoyed with. When this sort of thing happens I have a very short fuse and I've often found I can't control myself. Accursed mood swings. _She whined to herself, but she wasn't showing Roy any hint of weakness. She was much too strong to let a few cramps get in her way. "What would you like to do now, Lieutenant Colonel?"

Roy looked around a little more. "Let's find a stable building. We'll make that our home for the time we are here," Roy said as he picked up his black suitcase, then he walked over to Riza and was going to take hers, the brown suitcase that sat at her feet.

"Uh!" Riza snapped and snatched the suitcase out from Roy's grasp. _There's no way I'm letting him see what's in there._ Riza thought. Inside her bag held all her 'personal' items. (I dunno if they had these particular 'things' in their time. So I'm not going to complex with this, just a simple pad, no wings or super absorbency, or maybe a specially made rag if they didn't have those 'things' back then, lol. Why am I telling you this?) They were the things she most wanted to keep away from Roy's hawk like eyes. With the way he acts, they'd turn him on, and that was the last thing she needed.

"What's you're problem?" Roy asked. He didn't ask in a rude way or anything. He was just curious, but that little bit of curiosity was enough to set Riza off.

Her eyes began flaming as she glared at him.

"Uh, problem?" he asked, a little nervous. He had no idea what he had just done, but he could tell Riza didn't like it.

"How dare you ask a woman that?" Riza snapped at him. Her personality changed from calm to flaming mad in a total of 3.5 seconds.

"Ask what? If you were ok?" Roy asked. Now he was really confused. He was about to say something else and find out what was wrong with his Second Lieutenant when he saw her slowly drawing her gun from the corner of his eye. "GAH!" he jumped back a little bit, but didn't lose his cool. Soldiers never lost their cool. He quickly slipped his white gloves on. He wouldn't burn her, he'd just do enough to defend himself. With all the wood around his flames would prove quite useful. "Hawkeye, get a hold of yourself! What did I do?" Roy asked. He demanded to know what was the matter. _Why is she acting this way? Did all the stress get to her and cause her to snap? This isn't the same woman I've been fighting with the passed few days, and I hate to say, but this version is a lot more annoying. _

Riza pointed her gun at Roy, her eyes still flaming. She wanted to shoot, but for some reason she couldn't come to pull the trigger. Did she still have a little bit of control? This is what she hated the most about that-time-of-the-month. It felt as if she had a whole bunch of different people living inside of her, each one desperate to escape. She had to do everything in her power to restrain them.

"Hawkeye?" Roy asked as she stared at him. Eyes flaming mad but face calm. He noticed she was hesitating to shoot. _Does she really hesitate?_ Roy wondered. _I never would have guessed. _

Riza stared at him. Her hands began shaking; she tried as hard as she could to regain control of herself. After a few seconds she lowered her gun, her gaze lowering to the sand along with it. Her face disappointed. She cursed herself. _How pathetic is this? I can't even control my own emotions. How absurd. _She sneered then glanced up at Roy. Her eyes calm once again. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't know what got into me," she said her voice was serious as usual, but her facial expression wasn't.

Roy just stared at her. He was so confused. He didn't know what to say. He was afraid anything he said would cause her to snap again.

Riza glanced up at him again. Her eyes irritated. "Aren't you going to say anything?" Her eyes became more and more annoyed with every passing second. The grip she had on her pistol tightened.

"Uh?" Roy stammered in his words. What was he supposed to do now? She got mad when he said something, and frustrated when he didn't. A sweat drop appeared on the back of his of his head. "Lieutenant, I don't know what's going on here but-" Roy began but the flames in Riza's amber eyes skyrocketed and she cut him off.

"BUT THIS!" she shouted angrily and brought her gun up, firing at him.

"HEY!" Roy snapped back and jumped backwards, just missing the bullet. The soft sand underneath him wasn't solid under his feet, causing him to fall backwards on his butt. "Lay down your arms!" he demanded. This sense of not knowing what was wrong was really getting on his nerves. He should know everything. He was the highest ranking officer here after all. Plus, Riza acting in this strange manner was making him worry. He'd never seen her like this before, not even when they were fighting back at the office.

"I will once you lay dead!" Riza snapped and fired two more bullets.

Roy turned tail and ran, slipping around on the sand. Riza ran over the sand with grace, she didn't falter once. "Stop this nonsense right now, Hawkeye!" he said as he ran, glancing back every few seconds to see how close she was. "WHOA!" he shouted with great surprise when a bullet whizzed passed his head and punctured the building in front of him. _She's really serious!_ He thought and tried to run faster. He glanced back again and saw Riza pulling out bullets for a reload. He knew he had a split second now. If she was reloading, then her attention wasn't on him. He waited until her mind was fully concentrated on her gun, then he ducked into the nearest building.

He sighed with relief when he heard the sound of muffled footsteps run passed the opening of the building. He leaned back against the wall and caught his breath. _What's wrong with her? Is she sick? This is not the same Riza I met at the bank._ He thought to himself. It may be hard to believe, but he was really worried about this. He was picking his brain trying to come up with a way to snap her out of this. He couldn't even think of using his flame. Not when Riza was in this messed up state of mind. It was clearly clouding her judgment and he didn't know if she'd get injured if he tried or not.

Suddenly a chill was sent barreling down his spine. Someone was towering above him. He glanced up and saw Riza's eyes glaring down at him. "Nuts," he murmured and got up again.

Once he stood up and scrambled away she fired again. The bullet just missed hitting his back. He ran deeper into the destroyed building, bullets whizzing by him at all angles. He began to wonder if he was really lucky? Or if Riza was playing with him and missing on purpose. "Hawkeye!" he shouted again.

She returned his shout with a bullet.

"That's it, I'm tired of this," he said quietly as he ran through another room, he grabbed his wrist and was preparing to use his alchemy. All he could do was pray Riza had enough sense to avoid it. This had to stop. The gangsters would find them easily if this kept up, and if that happened who knew what they'd do? Then an idea popped into his head, he smirked.

"Are you giving up?" Riza asked when she noticed Roy's pace slowing.

He sped up suddenly. He was trying to make just the right amount of distance between Riza's body and his own. "Nope!" he shouted and turned around fast. His body was facing Riza's as he snapped his fingers.

Riza stopped suddenly when she saw the flame coming toward her. She quickly covered her face with her arms, preparing for the blaze. Just before the blast of heat hit her she felt someone's arms wrap around her small frame and push her out of the way. Her eyes popped open. She looked up quickly and saw Roy in front of her.

Just as he had snapped his fingers Roy ducked under the flame and darted on the left side of it. By the grace of God he made it there before the flame did. He quickly grabbed Riza and pushed her to safety.

Riza fell backwards with a thud. The warmth of his arms still embraced her. She looked up, Roy's face was mere inches away from her own, and his arms still wrapped around her. One of his hands was behind the back of her head, protecting her skull from the fall.

_What?_ Riza wondered what happened when her angry emotion faded with confusion. She looked behind Roy's body, there was a small fire eating up the area of wood behind them.

"Are you ok?" Roy asked as he stared into her eyes.

"…Yes…" she replied as she gazed back into his. She wasn't really sure what was going on, and then the image came flooding back to her. She remembered running through the building and then seeing a huge flame coming straight towards her. She closed her eyes in fear then felt his arms wrap around her. _Did he just save me?_ She wondered.

They stayed like this for a few moments. Roy lifted off her body then glanced over her, making sure she had no wounds or burns. _That was way to close. I shouldn't have made the flame that strong._ Roy thought to himself. _And the landing wasn't the softest either. _

"Are you ok?" Riza asked as she sat partway up. Her elbows were on the dirty ground, holding her weight up.

"Yeah," he replied. He was sitting upright, but was still on her lap. He was about to get off when Riza grabbed his wrist. He just looked at her questionably. Her facial expression was strange. It was one he'd never seen before.

"Thank you," she whispered. _Damn mood swings._ She cursed once again. _This is crazy. I'm like a high school girl with a crush. Now I suddenly feel the need to kiss him. _

She lost control of her emotions once again. She pulled Roy toward her, still holding his wrist. "Uh?" Roy replied. He wasn't sure what to make of this. But his confusion quickly faded as he became lost in her gaze. Her amber eyes where calm and gentle. It seemed as if they were searching through his soul, and began taking over him, making him very relaxed and at peace.

They glazed for a few seconds more, and then leaned toward each other. Roy's soft lips were about to embrace hers when a loud crash was heard. They quickly snapped out of their passionate moment.

_What was that?_ Riza wondered as she stared at the empty doorframe.

_Oh-no, not now. I was so close._ Roy pouted to himself as he looked from the door back to Riza. Her eyes still held a hint of passion. After a few moments of silence they stared back at each other. "It was probably just a cat," he replied.

Riza nodded she fell back on her back for a moment, thinking. _Do I really want to do this? It's not justified. Soldiers are not supposed to have a relationship._ She glanced back at him again. His arms were so warm and comforting. She gazed at him, tracing his face with her eyes. His expression was loving an peaceful. She felt he'd protect her no matter what. It was a very nice feeling. Her passionate side took over once again. She sat up, her eyelevel even with Roy's. He just smiled back at her. This was clearly not a time for words.

She returned his smile; this was not your normal everyday smile. It was deeply loving and gave you a feeling of relaxation and happiness you never imagined possible. She wrapped her arms around him, slowly. She was a little nervous as to how he'd react to her embrace. When he didn't flinch or pull away she became relaxed again and gazed back into his dark black eyes. He then put his arms around her once again.

They leaned in toward each other once more. Riza closed her eyes, waiting for the feeling of his lips against hers. They were about to touch once again, mere centimeters away. They could feel the heat radiating off each other's bodies.

Suddenly an ugly man burst through the door. He was tall, fat, and ugly. He had long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. His hair was greasy and unwashed. His eyes were an ugly milky shade of blue. The stench coming off his body was rancid and sour. He grinned evilly at them. His teeth were yellow and destroyed from decay and lack of brushing.

Another one of his buddies popped in. This man was very tall and muscular. His hygiene was just as bad as the first man's. He had red hair that was cut short, his long beard was tangled and matted, pieces of food tangled in with it.

The dogs just stared at them. Then Riza's eyes began flaming again. She let go of Roy and pulled out her gun. She pointed it at them harshly.

"WHOA! The chick is loaded!" the man with black hair shouted as they took off. Riza fired; the bullet missed and lodged itself in the door frame.

"Why you!" Riza grumbled and darted off after them. The sound of the men's screams and shots being fired echoed through the empty building.

Roy was still sitting on the floor. A blown away expression was plastered all over his face. _No, why, I was so close._ He cried to himself. "What the heck is going on here? Hawkeye! Wait!" he said as he scrambled too his feet and followed the sound of gunshots.


	21. Gotta Watch that First Step, It’s a Lil’

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 21: Gotta Watch that First Step, It's a Lil' Flimsy!

"Run, man, run!" the man with the red beard yelled as he and his friend ran through the sandy pathways. The sounds of gunshots got closer and closer.

"I'm runnin'!" the man with the black ponytail replied. His name was John, but he hated that name. In their gang almost everyone had a nickname. His was Dino. (Yes, I know it's dumb, but they aren't the most intelligent people.)

"Man, this chick is fast!" the red headed man shouted as he glanced back and saw Riza. She wasn't that far behind, but had to stop firing to reload her gun. His name was Ben, but he hated his name, too. He called himself The Big Red. "She's not watching us. Hurry, let's get in here!" he shouted as they ran through the mess of buildings and slipped a little on the sand. They ducked into the nearest building, just as Roy had done earlier.

_I saw that._ Riza's eyes flashed with flames when she saw the men trying to trick her. She followed them into the building, but they were no where to be found.

The building was pretty empty. Only hunks of rotting wood and broken glass sat on the floor. It was also dark in the room. Some of the windows had been covered by boards, blocking out the light. The wind blew, pushing on the old wooden building, causing it to make a cracking noise. Riza quickly pointed her gun at the moaning ceiling. _This building isn't very stable._ She thought when she saw lots of the wood on the ground used to be part of the ceiling. _Better not go up there; you'll fall through the roof._ Riza told herself as her amber eyes traced the ceiling for any hints of a weak point that could collapse on her. When she didn't find any around her she started walking in. She was careful not to step on any of the glass in fear the men would hear it and know where she was.

"Do you see her?" Big Red whispered.

"Yes, she's right below us," Dino replied. They had climbed up to the second floor and were watching Riza through the small cracks in the floor. Only one of Dino's milky blue eyes was seen through the crack.

"I see her now," Big Red said as he pushed Dino away a little so he could see. Now two eyes were seen in the crack. Red's eyes were brown. It looked a little strange, seeing two eyes of a different color peeking through a floor board.

"Hey, don't push!" Dino shouted.

Riza's gaze shot up to the ceiling where she heard Dino shout. _They're on the second floor. Looks like I have no choice. _She thought as she looked around. In the back of the building held the stairs. They were rotting and falling apart. Some of the stairs didn't even have a step. She'd have to jump over those.

"Oh crap!" they both shouted when they saw Riza heading for the stairs.

Riza looked up again when she heard the men's pounding feet on the floor. _Not the best masters of disguise I take it._ Then she started up the stairs again. Her footing was precise and graceful. She didn't make any noise or falter when she had to jump a step or two. You could tell she was very experienced when it came to sneaking up on people.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!" Dino shouted in a whisper as he tried to rush Big Red up the dangerous stairs. They were going up to the third floor. They got out of sight and picked a new spot to spy from just as Riza had made it to the second floor.

The second floor looked much like the first, only it was a little brighter. The farther up you got, the brighter in got. Not many people lived on the higher up levels so there was no need to reinforce the walls or cover the windows.

"I see her, I see her," Big Red whispered proudly. He had never done anything before Dino did.

"Hmmm…" a little voice was heard coming from the corner of the room. "I wonder what they are up too?" the voice belonged to a little girl. She was about five or six years old. She had long messy black hair. Her skin was a little tanned, but not too dark. Her eyes were brown, and she was missing a few teeth. She wore a cute little tan dress that didn't have sleeves and hung down to her knees, no shoes. She stayed out of sight from Dino and Big Red, but peeked through a crack to see what they were looking at.

_Where did they go?_ Riza asked herself as she looked over the area. Her gun was raised and ready to fire. _I'm not playing around here boys. I'm not in the best of moods today. _

"Oooooohhhhhhoooo," the little girl's brown eyes widened when she saw Riza. _She's so pretty._

"She's going that way!" Dino loudly whispered as he watched Riza. She was nearing the next flight of stairs.

Dino and Big Red lifted themselves off the floor and tried to move to the next crack behind them to keep Riza in their range of sight.

"Ow!" Big Red snapped.

Riza's head popped up again. _They're on the third floor? How did I miss that?_ She wondered as she started up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" Dino asked as he looked over at Big Red, their attention was completely taken off Riza.

"I got a splinter in my finger," Big Red whined as he stuck his thumb in his mouth.

The little girl gave him an annoyed stare. _Baby._ She thought to herself. _Huh?_ Her attention was diverted from the two men to the stairs at the other end of the room. She saw blond hair coming into view. "Oh boy," she whispered and hid, out of sight.

_There they are. _Riza smirked as she snuck up on the two men. Their backs were facing her, giving her a better chance to approach them without being noticed.

"Here, let me see it," Dino said reaching for Big Red's thumb.

"Nut-uhmmmm," Big Red whined, must like a little kid does when they get hurt and don't want their mother to touch the wound. He wasn't crying, but you could see tears in his eyes.

"Come on," Dino replied, "Just a little peek," he said as he grabbed Red's hand and pulled it out of Red's mouth.

"Nuuuuuuooooooooooo!" Big Red whined.

"Uh?" Riza lowered her gun and looked at the men questionably.

_They're gonna get it._ The little girl said as she watched from the shadows. There was a big smile on her face. She knew Dino and Big Red, so she knew something very amusing was about to happen.

"Don't touch it, don't touch it! DON'T TOUCH IT!" Big Red cried as he tried to pull his hand away. Dino held it firm, looking over the splinter. "It stings!" he whined, slamming his other fist down on the wooden floor.

Riza's body tensed with rage. This was truly annoying her over acting hormones. "If you slam your fist down like that you're going to get a splinter in that arm!" she snapped.

Both of their big, greasy, dirty heads shot up and stared at her. Riza stared back at them, her eyes flaming. They stayed staring like that for a minute or two. Then they heard the little girl in the corner yell out, "You're going to have to wait a second, lady! They have delayed reactions!"

"Uh?" Riza looked over to where the voice had come from.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" the two men screamed as their brains finally clicked on.

"Eh?" Riza's attention went back to them.

"AHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" the men screamed as they scrambled to get away.

"Hm!" Riza grumbled a bit as she lifted her gun to shoot.

"AHHHHHHH!" they continued to scream. Riza had them dead in her sights. She was about to pull the trigger when a loud crack cut through the once still silence, and pile of dust appeared and the men disappeared.

"Huh?" Riza stared in confusion. Then she heard moaning from down below.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she heard the little voice cracking up on the other side of the room. "I love it when they do that!" the little girl said as she walked out into the light.

"What?" Riza asked more confused then ever. She watched the small child walk over to where the men had disappeared.

"Dino, Red, are you ok?" she yelled down to the second floor.

Riza watched her. She then walked over beside the little girl. As she approached her she saw a huge hole in the floor. She looked down the hole and saw the two men lying on the ground, dirt and dust all over them, broken pieces of wood underneath them. "What the?"

"Don't worry, they do that a lot," the girl said as she looked up at Riza with a smile.

"I see," Riza replied in an unsure voice as she looked from the little girl and back down to the men.

They moaned and whined as they began rubbing their sore backs. Pieces of wood weren't the most comfortable thing to land on.

"Oooohhhhhhhooooo," Dino whined as he slowly opened his eyes and saw Riza and the girl staring down at him. His milky blue eyes widened when Riza face came into focus. "AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed a got up. He tripped on a board that lie underneath him and fell forward. His stomach was too much strain on the old floor and he fell through the wooden boards, down to the first floor. A loud thud was heard.

"Dino, are you ok?" Big Red asked as he got up and ran to look down the newly made hole in the floor. Which was only a foot or two away, but he ran none the less.

Riza and the girl heard Dino moaning from two floors below them, they couldn't see him from all the dust and dirt that had been kicked up from the fall.

"Don't worry, buddy, I'm coming!" Big Red shouted as he dashed over to the stairs.

"Watch it!" the little girl yelled, "…too late…"

Riza's face was dumbfounded. In his hasty attempt to get to the stairs, Big Red wasn't watching what he was doing and fell through one of the more obvious holes in the floor.

"I tried to warn you!" the little girl yelled.

Riza just looked at the little girl, then back down the holes. _Who are these people? Or better yet, where's the Lieutenant Colonel?_


	22. Gotta Jazz It Up!

AN: Hello everybody! Thankies for the reviews... again!

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 22: Gotta Jazz it Up!

Riza and the little girl stared down the hole for a few minutes more. The moaning continued. Riza didn't think they'd be getting up anytime soon, so there was really no need to rush. She didn't want to be the next one to fall down a hole.

As she stared down at them a distressed expression appeared on her face. _Lousy cramps._ She whined to herself as she began rubbing her sore abdomen again. _I swear, women were cursed with this time-of-the-month crap because men are wimps. More men would commit suicide because they can't take the pain and mood swings before they'd think to put a really warm wet rag on their stomach. If men had to have kids this world would be very under populated. They'd have one kid, feel the pain of childbirth, and swear never to do it again, no matter how much 'fun' the bedroom was._ (Sorry all male readers!)

"Huh?" the little girl asked when she saw Riza rubbing her stomach from the corner of her brown eye. She smiled and took a deep excited breath. "Ooooohhhhhh! You're rubbing your belly! Are you pregnant? I know! I saw you when you first got here! I bet that guy with the black hair is the daddy, right?"

"WHAT?" Riza's head snapped and locked on the little girl's excited face. That 'I bet the guy with the black hair is the daddy' part made her face turn red with embarrassment. No matter how hard she tried to hide it, the redness wouldn't fade.

The girl grabbed Riza's arm and started jumping up in down in a begging fashion. Her small feet made a loud thump sound when they hit the wooden floor. "If it's a girl came you name it after me? Can you, can you, can you?" she asked as she jumped up and down happily shouting.

"No, I'm not pregnant!" Riza snapped with embarrassment and confusion. All this was coming on so fast. She really didn't know what to make of it.

"Awwwwwww….." the little girl said as she stopped jumping and looked down at the floor; a sad expression appeared on her face. Then suddenly she got an idea and began hopping again. "Well when you do get pregnant can you name it after me? Can you, Can you, can you please!" she asked with a big tooth-missing grin.

Riza was about to snap at the little girl, but then she remembered she was talking to a little kid, and kids say annoying things such as this. She took a deep breath, calmed herself down, and then crouched down so her eyelevel was even with the girl's. "But I don't even know your name," she said in a friendly motherly voice.

"It's Jasmine," the little girl replied happily, "But I dun like it. Everyone here calls me Jazz."

"Jas," Riza thought for a minute. "That's a cute name."

"NO!" the little girl snapped harshly. Riza was shocked by her fierce reaction. "Not Jas! I hate that name! It's JAZZ! With two Z's!" the 'z' sound she was trying to make has a light wisp to it as the air escaped out from the holes of her missing teeth.

"Jazz, that's a much better name," Riza said with a smile, trying to convince the little girl she was agreeing with her. She guessed it worked when the girl smiled back at her.

"What's your name?" Jazz asked questionably.

"Uh?" Riza thought for a moment. _What am I supposed to have her call me? _She wondered.

"Hm?" Jazz asked questionably after she saw Riza pondering the question.

Riza smiled when she saw the little girl's confused expression. "Just call me Second Lieutenant, all my friends do."

"Second Lieutanenet?" Jazz asked. She made a weird face when she tried to pronounce 'Lieutenant'. She was careful to try and remember all the syllables, but failed miserably. "Lutianent? Lutenint? Letanntie?"

Riza's expression turned even kinder and more motherly looking. She had to admit, Jazz was cute. "Just call me Riza," she replied when she saw how much trouble Jazz was having.

"Riza?" Jazz replied. "What happened to Leutanant?"

"Just forget about that for now, ok?" Riza said, still crouched next to the little girl.

"Ok," Jazz replied then she looked around a little.

"What's wrong?" Riza asked.

"What happened to the daddy?" she asked.

"Eh? Daddy?" Riza asked as her smile turned to confusion. "I told you I'm not pregnant!" she shouted irritably.

"Oh yeah!" Jazz replied as she stopped looking around the empty room and back at Riza. "Is he your boyfriend?"

Riza sighed. "No, he's just my boss."

"Do you wish he was your boyfriend?" she asked with an evil smile, the same way little kids do when they hear you have a crush. "Do you?"

"No," Riza replied.

"Really? I can see it in your face. You like him."

"No, really, I don't," Riza replied. She was getting a little annoyed, but she kept calm. She didn't want her hormones to get out of control, not in front of a little kid.

"Ok, Miss Riza, I believe you," Jazz replied, and then she turned her body to the side a little so Riza couldn't see her face. She flashed a smirk. _I know you really like him. I can totally see it all over you face._

"I need to go find him now," Riza said as she stood up, dusted herself off a little, and began walk away.

"WAIT!" Jazz shouted and hurried after her.

"Hm?" Riza asked as she turned around. The little girl was clinging to bottom her military jacket. "What is it?"

"Can I please come with you? I won't be any trouble. I can help you look. I know all the places here. I've lived her a real long time!" Jazz cried in her little girl talk.

"Uh, ok," Riza replied. She could see tears welling up in Jazz's brown eyes.

"YAY!" Jazz replied happily, then she let go of Riza's jacket and ran toward the stairs. Her hands were waving in the air.

Her body flashed with color as she ran through the sunlight that shown through the windows. Riza's eyes widened when she saw Jazz's little body. Jazz stepped in another beam of light. "Jazz, stop!" Riza ordered. She wanted to make sure she was getting a clear fix on the small girl.

"Eh?" she replied as she stopped dead in her tracks. Her body looked as if it was frozen solid. Her arms will still up in the air. "What's wrong?" Jazz asked nervously. Her brown eyes stared back toward Riza, but her body remained still.

Riza stared at the little girl. Her eyes full of surprise as they traced the Jazz's small frame. "Where did you get those marks?" she asked. She saw purple and greenish color bruises all over Jazz's arms and legs.

"Oh, these?" Jazz asked. Her body relaxed as she held one of her arms up. The blotches of color stood out vividly on her skin. "My daddy gave these to me."

"What? Just what exactly were you doing hiding in here? This place doesn't seem very safe," Riza scolded and was about to take Jazz's skinny arm in her hand when they heard and explosion outside.

"I think they found the daddy," Jazz said as she pulled away from Riza and took the few steps to the window that was next to her. She was glad to change the subject.

_He's not my boyfriend._ Riza grumbled to herself then rushed over to the window. Sure enough, a little ways down the street one of the buildings was being engulfed in flames. The sounds of all sorts of gunfire were heard, as well as people screaming.

"This is bad," Jazz said. She leaned her arms over the side of the window frame, and then rested her head on them. Her eyes took on a hint of sadness as she watched the building burn. "Those loud noises are back. When they come lots of people cry."

_Is she talking about the gunfire?_ Riza wondered as her gaze went from Jazz's sad face and back to the chaos outside.

"He's going that way!" the heard a rather loud shout. The sound of shooting followed shortly after.

Riza leaned out the window toward were they heard the loud shout, she looked to her right. She saw Roy running through the sand, trying to dodge the bullets coming after him. He was running straight. If only he'd turn to the left then he'd see her. "Lieutenant Colonel, sir!" she shouted hoping to get his attention. She saw him glance up at her just as he ran behind one of the buildings. Then a mess of men in black leather ran in the same direction.

"GET DOWN!" Jazz snapped as she pulled Riza back in the window. "If they see you they'll come this way," she hissed. She didn't mean too, but she pulled so hard on the back of Riza's military jacket that Riza stumbled back and fell on her butt. A loud crack was heard as Riza's hind end hit the floor.

Riza flashed an annoyed look.

"I'm sorry! Are you ok?" Jazz asked as she looked over her new friend. "I don't see any cuts."

"I'm not hurt," Riza replied as she stood up. More cracking noises were heard as she lifted her body off the ground.

"Oh," Jazz said as she covered her mouth with her hands. In the floor was an indentation of Riza's butt. "At least you didn't fall through." She glanced down at the indentation once again. "Oh! There's blood on it! Did you fall on glass?" Jazz asked as she rushed to Riza's behind.

Riza had begun dusting her butt off. "WHAT?" her eyes widened when she heard 'there's blood on it'.

"Let me see!" Jazz said in a whiny voice as she tried to move Riza's hands away. They were coving her butt.

"No! I'm ok, really! It's just a little- uh…" Riza began then cut herself off. _I can't tell her that! She's only a little girl. She'll have no idea what 'that' is!_

"Let me see! Let me see, let me see, let me see!" Jazz whined as she pulled on Riza's arms, trying to get her to remove them from her buttocks.

"No, it's fine. Ummmm… stay right here. I'll be right back," Riza said as she looked around for a location sealed from any prying eyes.

"Where are you going?" Jazz asked as Riza began walking quickly away.

"Just to check on something, stay right there," Riza replied as she walked to an area she thought seemed to be ok, still covering her bottom with her hands.

"Awwwwww… ok, but don't forget to come back!" Jazz said.

"I won't!" Riza replied. Not to far away there was a door. She didn't know what was on the other side, and she didn't care as long as no one was there. _I can't believe this is happening to me._ Riza whined to herself as she shut the door. She had to check and make sure nothing was out of the ordinary.

After a few minutes Jazz walked over to the door. She knocked on it. "Are you still in there?"

"Yes, I'm almost done!" Riza replied. She sighed with relief_. At least it's down far enough between my legs that no one will notice it._ She thought to herself she straightened her pants and opened the door. "I told you I'd be back," Riza said with a smile as she looked down at the girl. She smiled, trying to act like nothing was wrong, but on the inside she was dying of embarrassment. _I can't believe I forgot about that. My suitcase is still outside, too. Luckily I packed an extra pair of pants. _

"Can we go now?" Jazz asked. "Or do you want to stay here? I saw your boyfriend. He looked up and saw us up here, so he knows where we are. Do you want to wait here for him?"

"I think we'd better go find him. He could be in trouble," Riza replied. Then she grumbled under her breath. _And knowing him, he probably is in trouble._

"Ok then, let's go, let's go!" Jazz said excitedly as she grabbed Riza's hand and pulled her to the stairs.

AN: What did you guys think? Isn't Jazz just so cute? I'd have to thank Jazze-Al-Bhed-Girl for her. I made her up after reading her Chibified! fic. The thought of putting a little kid in the story was just too cute. That's more or less how her character came into existence. So I name her after you Jazze. Bows humbly. Or, if you don't like having her named after you, then I apologize and you can just think of it as a strange coincidence. I hope this chapter made more sense to you Jazze! Everyone please review! I'd name people after you guys too, but I really don't think you'd want to be nasty smelly gang people. But if that doesn't bother you tell me and make you one of them, warning they will either be really bad, or really stupid.


	23. Finding Friends and Falling Through Floo

AN: "Hey guys, do you remember me? Do you do you do?" I'm Jazz!" (Jazz is in quotes, I am not) Hi ya'll how ya doing? "Tell them I said hi! Please tell them!" Jazz says hi. There I told them. "Yay!" waves arms around. Now on to the author notes! "Yay, Author notes! Wait… what's an author note?"

Hi guys! SOOOO sorry this took SOOO long to update. The wiring in my house went out and we had to rewire the WHOLE thing. Anyway, sorry for making you wait and here's the next chapter! I forgot to do this earlier… I think... ANYWAYS! I don't own FMA or any of the characters in it! I trust you know who they are… BUT… I DO own everyone else who's name you don't recognize! Well... I do and I don't… many of them were made up by readers from when this was posted the first time. They gave them a name and a face, and I kinda just brought them to life. Yes… there are A LOT of them... a whole town's worth. If you want to use any of them in any of your fics please ask me first, and if they were made up by someone else I'll ask them if they are ok to use!

Jasmine Hawkeye-Mustang: Nope, I'm not mad at all. I think I read that story. I remember Roy having to take care of a little girl named Jazzy. Plus, they aren't the same character, so, I'm not mad at all. Jazzy is yours not mine.

Reiya-Chan: Yes, I have seen the end. I've been very busy with FMA. What questions would those be exactly? I like your name by the way, it's pretty!

Apparation07: Umm… well… I think I stopped on chapter 39... so a ways. Sorry it's taking forever. It is because I'm not updating very much. Sorry about that!

The Way to a Man Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 23: Finding Friends and Falling Through Floors

"Come on, Miss Riza, hurry up!" Jazz said as she pulled Riza down the flights of stairs. They had already made it to the second floor. They were heading down to the first.

"Ok, ok, be careful. Don't trip," Riza replied as she tried her best to not fall down the stairs. Trying to jump over missing stairs while standing partly bent over because a little girl was clinging to your wrist wasn't the easiest thing in the world.

"I won't trip," Jazz said as she jumped over a stair. That did it, she jumped but Riza hadn't made it that far down yet. Trying to stay balanced enough along with the pulling on Riza's arm and then the jerk down from the little girl's jump caused her to topple over. She fell forward.

"Eh!" Riza said as surprise overcame her face. It all went so fast. One moment she was behind Jazz, the next moment she heard a thud, and then a bunch of little thuds. There was a slight pain in parts of her body as the thuds continued. The whole world appeared to be spinning as she rolled down the stairs.

"Yikes!" Jazz crouched down in the corner against the wall just in time. She was small enough that Riza had fallen over her.

Just as Riza was about to reach the bottom of the stairs she became aware of what was going on. _There's no way I'm falling through that floor. _She thought as she regained herself and as she did one last flip she planted one foot firmly on the ground below her, stopping the fall. "That was close," Riza said with a sigh. Her body was sideways, one foot was pushed up against the side on about the 4th or 5th stair up, her other leg was fully extended, her boot firmly on the floor holding her up. Both arms were curved under her chest, resting on the two stairs below her upper body. Her face was mere inches from the ground and her butt was more or less pointed in the air. She looked up from the dirty floor. She glanced up and saw Big Red lying in front of her.

"Miss Riza! Are you ok?" Jazz asked as she ran down the stairs. She almost fell through one of the weaker stairs, but the hast that was in her step let her glide to the next stair before she fell through. "Are you?" Jazz asked as she neared the bottom, when she was a non-lethal distance from the floor she jumped from the stairs and onto the floor. Then she kneeled beside Riza. "Hey? Are you hurt?" Jazz asked again as she put her chest down close to the floor, she wanted to look into Riza's face. She saw an annoyed expression on her face. "Huh?" the girl asked as she looked in the direction Riza's eyes where focused in. "Oh, Red," she said with a smile as she saw the man lying maybe a foot away.

"Ouuuuuhhhhhoooooo," the smelly man moaned as he tried to turn over. "What is it?" he asked. His voice was slurred as he tried to answer the tiny girl.

Jazz sort of hopped over to Big Red, not moving from her crouching position. "Are you ok? Are you? Are you? Huh?" she asked with a curious smile as she couched down lower to the ground, her hands wrapped around her bent knees. "Are you?" She asked again. Her long messy black hair rested on the dirty floor as she bent over. Her face almost upside down as she stared at him with big innocent brown eyes.

"Uhhhmmmm," he grunted as he tried to open his eye lids. They slowly opened. It looked almost as though they where pasted shut with light brown eye crust. There was sawdust and little chucks of wood all over his body. "Ouh," he grunted again, some dust around his mouth was kicked up as his rancid breath passed under the small specks of dirt.

"Red? You whoooooo. Red," Jazz chimed as she sat up then began moving her small hand back and forth in front of Big Red's dirt covered face. "Can ya hear me? Can ya? Huh? Can ya? Can you hear me now?"

"Ohhh," he whined as he slid his droopy lobes open again. His eyes fluttered a bit as he tried to get them to focus. Then they slowly closed again.

Riza still glared at him. Her eyes began to flame with annoyance. She didn't speak or move. His sour stench was filling her nostrils, making them burn.

_This isn't working._ Jazz thought to herself as she looked over Big Red's face. She sat up even straighter and took a deep breath. So deep you could see her chest expand with air.

_What's she up to?_ Riza wondered as her attention was taken of Red and fixed on little Jazz.

Once Jazz's chest felt like it was going to burst from taking in all the air she held it in and bent over next to his face. "REEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" she shouted so loud Riza thought the whole building was going to collapse.

_CRRRREEEEEAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKK!_

"Uh!" Riza said as her eyes flashed to the ceiling. She quickly stood up, ready to grab Jazz and dash to the door if it started to cave in.

"What? What is it!" Red's eyes suddenly popped open as he spooked like a horse. His brown eyes looked bloodshot. "Uh… what?" he asked as he view came into focus. He looked forward and saw black boots in front of him. "Huh?" he said in a confused tone as his eyes traced the black boots and up the body that stood in front of him. When they came to rest on Riza's face they widened.

"Hey, uh, wait, don't," Riza began as she saw his eyes get wider and wider. She put up her hand in a 'please stop' motion.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Big red screamed as he scrambled to his feet and headed toward the door.

"Wait!" Riza snapped.

"GAHHHHHHH, DON'T SHOOT ME!" Big Red cried as he tried to get away, but kept tripping over his feet. Jazz smiled and chuckled.

"Just stop!" Riza ordered in military fashion as Big Red ran away. He kept his head turned back toward the girls, watching for a gun.

"Oh, watch out!" Jazz said. But it was too late. Big Red hadn't been watching where he was going and tripped over Dino's limp body. "Ahahahahahaha. It tried to warm you!" Jazz said as she laughed.

Once Red's large body landed on Dino's you could almost hear the air in Dino's body being forced out in a soft 'ppppfuuuuuu' like moan.

Riza just stared at him and sighed. _I can't believe these two._

"Uhhhoooo," they heard Dino moan. He was beginning to show signs of life as Big Red's heavy form lay draped over him.

"He went this way!" the heard a voice shout from outside.

"Huh?" Riza attention was diverted to the door-less doorframe.

"Hurry!" they heard the voices getting closer.

"They're coming this way! You need to hide!" Jazz shouted as she got behind Riza and tried to push her away from the open spaced room.

"What?" Riza asked as she tried to hold herself firm.

"They're coming! If they find you it will hurt bad!" Jazz said as she continued to try and push Riza.

Just then they heard footsteps patting furiously in the sand.

Jazz's eyes popped open. _Oh no… it's too late. They're already here._

"Mmm," Riza grumbled to herself as she took firing position. Her silver pistol was pointed at the doorframe. _Once they take a step through that doorframe…_ she said to herself. Jazz cling to her pant leg, she peeked around Riza's thigh, a little shaky as her eyes began to fill with fear.

Then a body shot in through the door. He scrambled to the right then tripped over a floorboard that was sticking out of the floor. He hit the dirt floor with a thud as smoky dust kicked up all around him. "You're dead!" Riza shouted and was about to pull the trigger.

"WAIT!" the voice shouted. Riza quickly held her fire. She knew this voice.

"Lieutenant Colonel?" she asked as she lowered her gun slightly. A confused expression appeared on her face. She stared at the dust, waiting for it to clear.

"Uh?" Jazz said as she leaned forward. She saw a man stand up and brush the dirt off. He had on a dark blue uniform, was tall and thin, had jet black hair, and dark eyes. _Whoa… it's the daddy. He's hot._

"Sir, is that you? How did you get here?" Riza asked questionably as Roy took a few steps toward them.

"Simple," he smirked as he finished brushing himself off. "I ran around the back of the building. I saw you leaning out the window. You need to hide yourself better, Lieutenant," Roy scolded in his cool usual tone.

"I was trying to get your attention," Riza retorted.

"And I ran passed to save your life," Roy replied, "If I had run toward you those men would have seen you in the window and shot you."

"Hmmmm..." Riza grumbled. She hated it when she was scolded in that manner. "Thank you, sir," she managed to say when she swallowed her pride and annoyance. _He's your commanding officer, Riza. You don't have a choice. You have to treat him with respect._ She repeated over and over in her mind. It helped to keep her raging hormones under control.

"Now, why did you run off on me like that, Lieutenant? I demand an answer," Roy said. His voice a little more serious.

"I was just chasing down some men, sir," Riza replied. She stood straight, her face emotionless and directed on Roy.

_Miss Riza seems totally different now._ Jazz thought to herself as she leaned over and stared into Riza's face. She didn't respond to Jazz's tugging on her pant leg at all. She acted as if Jazz wasn't even there.

They heard gunfire from outside as footsteps raced toward them. Roy turned around to look at the door. Riza waited until she was sure his gaze wouldn't fall back on her, and then she looked over to the door as well.

"HEY!" Jazz snapped suddenly as she pulled hard on Riza's pant leg, almost pulling her pants down.

"EH!" Riza said in surprise as she grabbed her falling waistband. She pulled it back up so it fit snuggly around her waist.

"We have to hide now!" Jazz shouted as she pulled Riza away. Her force was stronger then ever. "They'll be here in a few minutes. They always check the outside of the building before the inside! Come on, let's go!"

"Who's that?" Roy asked as he pointed to the little girl.

"No time, we have to hide," Riza replied as she began following Jazz.

"Hey, wait up!" Roy replied as he casually followed. Jazz and Riza were walking at a much faster pace then he was. _There's no way she's leaving me behind again. Who's kid is that? We can't finish what we started with a kid around._

"Hurry up, sir!" he heard Riza shout. He was quickly snapped out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw Jazz and Riza already almost to the other side of the room.

"Get down!" Jazz said as she pulled Riza behind a table that was knocked on its side. It was one of the few pieces of future in the room. Roy was still near the doorway.

_It wouldn't kill you to go a little faster._ Riza thought as her annoyed amber eyes watched Roy.

"What is that?" Dino asked sleepily.

"What's what?" Big Red replied. His voice was still slurred and slow.

"Hm?" Roy asked as a questionable look appeared on his face. He walked over to the two men who lay on the ground and pushed Dino in the side slightly with his foot. _Are they dead? Or dying? What did Hawkeye do while I was gone?_

_Oh no…_ Riza said to herself when she saw they were waking up.

"Who's you?" Dino asked as he slowly opened his eyes. The milky blue pupils began to focus on the figure towering over them.

"Uh?" Roy asked as Dino's eyes began to widen.

"Lieutenant Colonel, come on!" Riza snapped.

"Uh? ok…" Roy replied. He was about to follow after them when he heard the fat man scream.

"AHHHHHHHH!" he heard Dino scream bloody murder behind him. He turned back to them fast.

"Are you alright?" he asked unsurely_. Wait... why do I care if they are alright? I'm supposed to be the one stopping them._ Roy thought as he held out his hand. He was about to fry them if they tried any funny business.

Riza and Roy remained calm through this whole ordeal. Maybe a little too calm? Riza did have enough concern to hide, but it looked as if Roy could care less.

"The men are coming," Jazz whispered to Riza. "It's been almost a few minutes."

Riza looked back up at Roy. _It's just like men such as these to think to look outside the building instead of in it. God forbid they should spilt up and search both the inside and the outside at once. Oh well, I guess I should be grateful, it did buy us a little time._ Riza knew Jazz was right and the men would be in here before Roy could hide. She wasn't sure what to do. Then it hit her. She smirked. "DINO, BIG RED, I'M GONNA GET YOU!" she shouted loud and fiercely.

"Huh?" Roy looked from Dino and back to Riza. _What's going on?_

"GAHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! AHHHHH! MAHHHHHHHH!" Dino and Red shouted at the same time.

"What's your problem?" Roy tried to shout over them. They scrambled to get to their feet. They pounded on the ground, trying to untangle themselves from each other. All the pounding and scrambling weight was too much for the weak floor, it collapsed.

"AHHHHHH!" Both Dino and Red shouted as the boards gave way beneath them and they fell through.

"Hey! What the?" Roy shouted. He was close enough that he went down as well. A loud crash was heard as the three men's bodies along with the floor boards hit the concrete basement.

Riza smirked again. _Looks like I just saved the Lieutenant Colonel._

"Well that works," Jazz said as the dust began to settle.

"Ehhhooo" Roy murmured. He lay on the ground on top of Dino and Big Red. A few pieces of wood lie on top of his body as well as a truckload of dust, it made his hair appear to be a gray color and his uniform a light dusty dark blue. "Oooorooooo," he mumbled again. He had swirly eyes.

"Oooohoooo," Dino whined. He was on the bottom of the dog pile. Big hunks of the floorboard lay underneath him. "I…. can't…. breathe…" he squeaked as a few quiet coughs escaped from his chest.

The men quickly ran into the building. "Look all around! We are going to get that military trespasser!" the man who appeared to be the leader of the group shouted. He was an older man. He had gray hair and a long gray beard. He was very overweight. He wore black leather biker clothes and black cowboy like boots.

"Go that way!"

"Over there!" the men in the gang didn't look much different then the leader. Some were fat, some were skinny, some had long hair, some had short, but they all wore the same biker clothes.

Riza and Jazz heard various men shout as they searched. _I think there are seven or eight of them._ Riza thought to herself as she counted the different voices. _Too many to shoot._ _I'd have to reload. I know they are armed, I think it would be best just to stay put. I just hope the Lieutenant Colonel and the others can keep quiet long enough that they leave._ Riza thought as she and Jazz stayed tucked down low.

"Don't worry, they'll leave soon," Jazz whispered very quietly.

Riza nodded in reply.

Jazz was right, too. They didn't take a very through search at all. Just a couple of head turns here and there. "Come on, he's not here. Let's go," one of the men said.

"Alright," the leader replied as they left the building. Riza waited a few minutes before she and Jazz crept out of their hiding place. They slowly and cautiously crept over to the hole.

"Sir, are you alright?" Riza asked as she looked down the dark hole. "Lieutenant Colonel Mustang?"

"Is he dead?" Jazz asked as she peeked over the edge. "Did he get squished?"

Riza flashed an irritated look, "Sir," she said again.

No answer.

Riza sighed irritatedly. "Lieutenant Colonel, there are biker women in mini skirts."

"What?" she heard his voice immediately perk up. "Where? Get me out of here!" Roy popped up and tried to climb out of the hole.

Dino coughed some more.

"Hey, I never knew there was a basement in here," Red said in a slurred yet comical voice.

Jazz couldn't help but laugh.

Riza just closed her eyes as Roy jumped up and grabbed for her feet, but missed. _Don't let it get to you, Riza. Just remember, things could be a lot worse. They could be so much worse. You could have been kidnapped by those men. _She repeated over and over as she took a deep breath. She pushed the feeling of an outburst down into the pit of her stomach. _It could be so much worse._


	24. If There’s a Will, then there’s a Way, a

AN: Hi guys! I'm so glad some people still want to read this after I was unable to post for awhile. Some of you said the other chapter was kinda boring. Yes, I know that's true. Sorry. Don't worry though. Hughes makes up for it. Those of you who read before know exactly what I'm talking about. Evil grin. For you new people, we (meaning me and old readers) refer to these chapters as 'office chapters' and the ones with Roy and Riza are called 'Royai chapters' I have no idea if you care or even need to know that... but… so we are all on the same page, I decided to tell you. Don't ya just feel so loved?

charriXD: Sweatdrops. It was just a minor typo. Thanks though. I fixed it for you XD.

Warning: Havoc may be OCC, like I said I don't know him. So I don't know how he'd react to this situation. I apologize in advance if he is OCC.

The Way to a Man's Heart isn't by Crushing his Ego Chapter 24: If There's a Will, then there's a Way, and That Way, is Blackmail!

"Did you get that cleaned up yet?" Hughes asked Armstrong as he made his entrance into the office.

Armstrong was sitting on the floor, on his hands and knees, trying to scrape some of the crud off the floor with his fingernails. "Armstrong?" Hughes asked as he and Havoc walked into the room, carrying a new window.

"Yes?" Armstrong replied as he glanced up. Hughes was mere inches away from him.

"Hughes, watch out!" Havoc shouted when he saw the disaster waiting to happen.

"For what?" Hughes asked questionably and was about to take another step. Then he felt it. His foot hit something behind him, something large, he tried to stop himself, but he lost his balance and fell backwards. "GAHHH!"

_Crash!_ The window now lies on top of Hughes. In tiny little pieces. Havoc, feeling defeated, dropped his end of the frame.

"Not again…." the blond Lieutenant whined putting his hand over his face with an 'Oh God not again' expression. The 'large thing' Hughes had fallen on was Armstrong's massive leg.

"How did that happen?" Armstrong asked as he looked behind him and saw Hughes lying on his back, half of the broken window on top of him, and half on the floor. Hughes' leg was draped across Armstrong's, more or less describing the situation.

"Don't worry about it," Havoc replied as he stared at the shattered pieces of glass that made up the window. "I guess I should head back to the store. Don't worry, it won't take long. They know me!" he snapped somewhat irritatedly and turned to leave.

"No wait," they heard Hughes' voice as he tried to push the big window frame off his chest.

"Hm?" Havoc turned around and glanced down at Hughes. He wiggled his cigarette in his mouth. His expression was dull and calm. He stuck the lit stick of tobacco in his mouth sometime when no one was watching.

Hughes stared at the wiggling cigarette. It just wiggled up and down as Havoc waited form a response. Hughes' eyes followed the bouncing cigarette.

"Sir?" the sandy-blond hair man asked after a few moments of Hughes' head bobbed in an up and down motion.

"FOR GOD SAKES! PUFF ON IT MAN!" Hughes shouted and collapsed backwards on the floor as if the agony from waiting for a puff that would never come was just too much for him.

"Huh?" Havoc started at him questionably.

Armstrong then lifted the big widow frame off Hughes' scrawny body. Hughes regained himself and sat up. He then began wiping some of the pieces of glass off his uniform. The sound of small pieces of glass falling on the floor is all that was heard as Havoc and Armstrong stared at Hughes, waiting for him to say what he wanted to say.

"Ouch," Hughes said with a bit of a whimper as he looked at his pointer finger. "I cut my finger!" he whined as he stuck his pointer finger in his mouth.

"What were you going to say, Major?" Armstrong asked. His mustache twitching as he spoke.

Hughes pulled his finger out of his mouth and looked over it for a second. Then he snapped up attentively. "Oh yeah! Armstrong, I noticed you're not having much luck trying to clean off the floor."

Armstrong nodded and looked at his hands. His fingernails were filled with black tar and were taking a nasty beating on top of that. They looked like the ends of jaded rocks, all broken and uneven.

"Yeah, so?" Havoc asked as he stared down at his friends, the dull expression had returned to his face.

"Well, we need a scraper!" Hughes blurted out.

"I can pick one up at the store," Havoc replied and was about to leave again.

"No, you idiot!" Hughes replied as he lunged forward and grabbed Havoc's pant leg as he tried to walk away. Havoc turned to look back down at him. "Why not?"

"Because that's no fun. Besides that would cost money. We could get one right here for free."

"Where would we acquire one?" Armstrong asked in his normal tone.

"From the mess hall kitchen!" Hughes replied still clinging to Havoc's leg.

"You're crazy," Havoc replied as he tried to walk away again. Hughes yanked on his pant leg, almost pulling him down. "Hey," Havoc snapped with surprise suddenly as he stumbled backwards, almost falling on Hughes.

"Come; sit down here with me... Young Grasshopper…" Hughes said in a comical yet serious way as he yanked on Havoc's pants again, pulling him down and causing him to land on his butt next to him.

"What?" Havoc asked as Hughes turned so he was face to face with Havoc. He leaned in close so his face was only a few inches away from Havoc's. It held a very serious expression.

"Uh... sir?" Havoc asked nervously as Hughes continued to stare at him. _He can't be… can he? No, he's married! _Havoc thought to himself. Armstrong sweat dropped behind them. That was the biggest amount of emotion he showed in well…. as long as we've know him.

Hughes continued his quiet serious staring for a minute more. Then he quickly swiped his hand across Havoc's jacket. It all happened in the blink of an eye. Hughes then leaned back with a satisfied grin on his face.

"Uh…?" Havoc said questionably. Trying to figure out what just happened.

"Heheheheheh…" Hughes crackled somewhat evilly. He pulled his arm out from behind his back, the same arm he swiped Havoc with. "Hehehehehehe," he continued as he waved his hand in the air. A familiar looking box grasped in his hand. His devilish grin grew and stretched from ear to ear as his glasses lit up with evil light.

"Huh? What?" Havoc asked as he began feeling around all the pockets on his uniform, "HEY!" he snapped when he found out Hughes had stolen his precious cigarettes.

"This is a great lesson I pass down onto you, Young Grasshopper. If you can't get someone to do what you want them to with words. Do it with blackmail," he smirked.

"Blackmail?" Havoc replied questionably. His face flashed an angered expression as he snapped back at Hughes, "But… but…" he couldn't think of anything to retort.

"Hey, at least I'm not commanding you to do anything. I'm a major. I rank higher then you, remember?" Hughes said with a friendly smile.

_That's exactly why I couldn't think of anything._ Havoc thought to himself as he glared at Hughes.

"Hey, how come you don't treat me with the same respect you treat Roy and Riza with? You act scared of them," Hughes said as he looked at Havoc with a questionable expression.

_Because they mean business when they say it. You'd just steal my cigarettes and a spatula from the kitchen._ Havoc glared.

"Hm?" Hughes said still wondering. Havoc didn't reply.

"I think we should get to work again, boys," Armstrong said, trying to break the silence and tension in the small office.

"Right," Hughes shot up, standing up straight, his hands and the cigarettes behind his back. "So Lieutenant, will you accompany me to the mess hall?" he asked as he stared down at Havoc.

Havoc just glared back up at him, then swallowed all his anger and stood up, too. He sighed and looked at Hughes again, "Yes, sir."

"Good man, let's go," Hughes said as he and Havoc left the room. Hughes' head popped in a second later, "Oh Armstrong, clean up this mess, would you?" he asked. "This office isn't going to clean itself you know, thanks bye," he said as he waved and closed the door behind him.

"Hm?" Armstrong said as he looked from the closed door and around the destroyed room. "This looks like a time for!" (MR. CLEAN! MR. CLEAN! …Not really…) he shouted proudly as he grabbed his shirt, "The great Armstrong line! Hard labor such as this has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!" he bellowed as the strange light shown down from heaven and he grabbed the nearby mop.

The scene switches back to Roy and Riza. They are still in the same building. Riza is at the moment trying to figure out a way to get Roy out of the hole.

"Here, grab this!" Jazz said as she handed part of a broken board down to the three men. It wasn't very long, they'd have to jump up to reach it, but at least it was an idea.

"Here let me do it," Riza said as she bent down and took the board from the small girl. "They're pretty heavy. They'd pull you down there with them," she said as she smiled at her and took the board.

"Ok," Jazz replied as she retuned Riza's kind smile with a cute grin of her own.

"Here, sir," Riza said as she leaned over the side of the hole.

Roy jumped up and grabbed the end of the plank. "I've got it!" he yelled as he grasped the wood.

_I can tell._ Riza thought to herself as she struggled to pull Roy up. She was a little afraid she'd fall in herself. She pulled hard. The muscles in her arms and back began to tense and ache from the stress and pulling.

"It's working!" Jazz shouted with a smile as Roy was hoisted into the air.

"Hey, wait for us!" Dino shouted as he and Big Red headed for the wood.

"No wait!" Roy snapped but it was too late. Big Red and Dino lunged toward him. They jumped up and grabbed the plank with their big hands.

"EH!" Riza said with surprise as she felt a jolt. She was pulled downwards suddenly. Jazz grabbed Riza around the waist, trying to help hold her up.

_Snap!_

Just before Riza fell forward the plank of wood snapped under the three men's combined weight. Riza and Jazz fell backwards from the force and Roy, Red, and Dino fell back down to the floor.

As Riza felt her head hit the dirty floor an annoyed look flashed across her face. _This is going to take forever._

Then they heard Big Red whine again, "Owww, I got another splinter."


	25. You’re Gonna Carry that Weight

The Way to a Man's Heart isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 25: You're Gonna Carry that Weight

"A little to the left. I can almost reach it," Roy said as he reached out in front of his body. He was trying to reach the floorboard above him.

"I can't... hold much longer…." Big Red said as he clenched his disgusting teeth. His whole body shook and his face was red from the strain on his body. He was trying to hold up both Roy and Dino. Dino was upon his shoulders and Roy was atop of Dino.

"Just a little longer, Big Red," Riza replied. She was down on her knees, reaching for Roy's hand. _Why did they make this basement so deep?_ Riza asked in wonder. It was very deep, deeper then your average basement. Even with the three men stacked atop each other the distance from Roy to the first floor still had about a two foot difference.

"Don't be a wuss, Red. You can do it!" Jazz said as she watched from the opposite side of the hole. She stared down at them, standing up, but leaning over to see what was going on, hands behind her back, and a smile on her face.

"That's easy or you to say," Big Red snapped.

"A little more to the left, Red," Riza said as she leaned toward Roy, careful not to fall forward into the hole. _We should have just started this whole thing from below me. But no, Dino and Big Red had to start it from the middle, now they have to try and get over here._ Riza thought with irritation as she reached out farther, her arm began to ache again as it stretched out as far as it would go.

"Errrhhh," a noise escaped Roy's throat as he reached over, one hand reaching for Riza, the other clinging to Dino's shoulder. It was hard to keep your balance when you're on someone else's shoulders. He needed at least a little bit of support.

"Come on, almost there! You can do it, you can do it, you can do it!" Jazz said waving her stick like arms in the air. Her brown eyes were filled with great enthusiasm and excitement.

Roy glanced at her for a moment, irritation plastered all over his face. Then he looked back toward Riza and stretched out just a little farther. His muscles began to ache as well as he stretched. He felt as if his muscles were going to snap in half like a rubber band when it's stretched to far. "Ehhhhgggghhhh, got it!" he said happily as he clasped Riza's hand.

Riza felt a warm shiver barrel through her whole body as Roy grabbed her hand tightly and wouldn't let go. It was the same feeling she had when Roy wrapped his arms around her, saving her from the flame. She stared for a moment, an unsure look on her face. She studied Roy carefully. It was like everything else that was going on had disappeared and only she and Roy remained. She smiled warm and peacefully. She became lost in her mind. The images from when they were about to kiss rushed back to her, clouding her mind and making her whole body tingle.

"Hey, what are you doing, Chica?" Big Red shouted. "I can't hold 'em much longer!"

"What?" Riza asked as she suddenly snapped out of her mind.

"Pull, Lieutenant!" Roy replied as he clung to Riza, much like a child does to their mother when they are scared to death of something. They put their whole heart in being into concentrating on holding onto that hand.

"Oh, right," Riza replied. Her voice was quiet as her mind began slipping away again, but she didn't let it stray too far. She pulled hard on Roy's arm.

"That's it!" Jazz said as she saw Roy being lifted off Dino's shoulders. "You've got it!" she shouted excitedly as she ran around the hole and to Riza's side. She reached over, but couldn't reach Roy. So she grabbed Riza's arm and began to pull as well.

When Roy felt his body being hoisted into mid air he let go of Dino's shoulder and reached up and grabbed Riza's arm with his free hand. After he left Dino completely he was more or less clinging to Riza's hand for dear life. He was hanging God knows how many feet in the air, and there wasn't that much he could do about it. "Come on, Hawkeye!" he said as he tried to push himself up. There wasn't anything around for him to push up on so he just pulled up on Riza's arm, like he had done back at the training hall. Those stupid chin lift exercises. Once he hoisted himself up Riza felt her upper body being pulled down by Roy. His head came up close to her chest. He was almost up. Riza grabbed the waistband on the back of Roy's pants and pulled.

_Ouch, that's gonna leave one heck of a wedgie._ Dino thought to himself as he watched Roy's pants being pulled up farther and farther.

The weight that was lifted off Big Red's body seemed immeasurable. He glanced up and saw how close Roy's head was coming to Riza's chest. _Damn, he's one lucky guy. _He thought somewhat jealously to himself as he watched Riza and Roy come in contact.

Roy then grabbed for Riza's back. He got a handful worth of material from Riza's navy blue jacket in his grasp. He pulled up farther. Jazz then glanced down. A smile appeared on her face as she let go of Riza's arm, reached down, and grabbed the end of Roy's left leg. She pulled up hard, trying to get Roy's lower body up onto the first floor.

A strange uncomfortable expression appeared on Roy's face. He was being pulled out of a deep hole, he was clinging to Riza's jacket, his head more or less pressed up against her body, she was grasping the back of his pants, he had a huge wedgie, and someone was yanking on his leg. _Here's a feeling you only have once in your life._ He thought to himself as he tried to figure out what was really going on and why he was feeling all these different things on so many different parts of his body. Why he couldn't concentrate on the good parts of this were beyond him.

"Er…almost… there…" Riza said as she pulled. Her voice was straining as she tried to force her words out. The strain being put on her body seemed to make breathing impossible, and speaking all the more difficult.

Roy glanced up for a moment. He liked what he saw in front of his eyes. He smirked.

_Pervert…_ Jazz thought to herself as she gave Roy and annoyed look, then she yanked up and pushed hard on his leg, almost bending the lower part of his leg all the way to up to his butt.

"Ah…. You little brat…" Roy sneered gritting his teeth, trying his best not to yell out in pain. A sharp pain was now searing through his leg and back as the ball of his heel touched his lower back. "It's not meant to bend that far…." he managed to get out. His voice a little bit louder and more irritated.

"I'm sure you could get it to bend that way if Miss Riza was involved in the game. Why not with me?" Jazz replied with a smirk. _Even if he is the daddy, thinking about a girl like that is wrong. My dad looked at my mom that way all the time. After he did that he did bad things to her, she cried lots. I'm not going to let this daddy make Miss Riza cry. _

Roy just growled at her. Lucky for him Riza was too busy concentrating on pulling him up to notice anything that they were saying or that Roy had been glaring at her chest.

"Al…most…" Riza pushed vocal sounds out of her throat again as she mustered up all her strength and pulled. She was able to lift Roy's body up about two or three inches on that burst of adrenaline alone. Those three inches gave Roy enough height to sling his free leg up and over the side of the floor.

"You've got it!" Dino shouted as Roy's heel hit the wooden floor with a thud. He then put all his strength in his leg and lifted the remaining lower half of his body up and over the side. Then Riza and Jazz fell backwards as Roy's body fell on top of them. Jazz and Riza lay side by side. Roy's body was draped across both of theirs, mostly in the mid-drift area.

"Errrrggghhh… he's heavier then he looks…" Jazz said as she tried to push Roy's chest off her small body.

Another burst of irritation overcame Roy's body, but he held in it. His face remained clam as he smirked with a satisfied smile and got up. "Thanks, Lieutenant," he said as he stood up. Riza was still lying on her back, trying to regain some of the strength she lost while lifting Roy. Her back and arms ached. She had without a doubt pulled all her muscles.

"Eh!" a surprised noise escaped her heaving chest as she felt Roy grasp her hand and pull her up.

"Are you alright?" he asked when he noticed how out of breath she really was. Riza's body seemed to give way under her. She fell forward slightly. Roy caught her before she fell too far.

"…Yes… sir," Riza replied after she huffed and puffed a few times. Roy had his arms around her upper body, in a hugging fashion. She was leaning on his chest for support. Her amber eyes staring at the floor as she tried to catch her breath for a few more minutes. "I'm fine, sir," she said again after she regained herself. She glanced up at Roy. A kind smile on his face as he stared down at her. Then he released her from his grasp, but standing nearby incase she fell again.

Riza stood speechless for a few moments. She was lost in thought once again. Roy walked passed the two females and looked around the old wooden building. He looked down at his uniform. It was a mess, dust all over. An annoyed look appeared on his face as he began dusting himself off once again.

"Huh?" Jazz said in a confused voice. Her small face changed glances between Roy and Riza. She knew something was going on, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Hey!" they heard Dino shout, "Get us out of here!"

"Oh!" Riza said as she snapped out of her thoughts once again and she and Jazz rushed over to the hole. Roy was still looking around the room.

"So this is where you've been hiding these last few hours, huh Hawkeye? I thought you would have found something a little cleaner."

Riza glanced back at him with an annoyed expression, and then she went back to Red and Dino.

"How are we gonna get them out?" Jazz asked. "They aren't tall enough to reach you."

_I don't think I could lift them up either._ Riza thought as she stared down at the large men. She had enough trouble with Roy, how in the world was she going to get men three times his size out?

Roy dusted himself off a little more.

"Nya…"

"Hm?" his attention was taken to the other end of the room as he heard a strange noise and a piece of wood move. At the end of the room sat a wooden box, in that box was more pieces of wood, it looked to be firewood. Why it was there was beyond him.

"Nya!" the strange sound was heard again, and then two little green orbs flashed out of nowhere, shiny, brightly, strangely, and some what creep-fully.

"What is that?" Roy asked quietly as he squinted his dark eyes, straining them to try and make out what the green circles were.

"Nya, nya!" the little noise was heard again.

"Hmmmm…." Roy pondered to himself as he began walking toward the small 'nyaing' creature. Little did he know he was on a weaker part of the floor. The loud cracking noises didn't seem to register in his mind at all.

"WATCH OUT!" they heard Jazz scream.

_BAM!_

Dino was standing on Big Red's shoulders, yes standing on his shoulders, and was trying to reach Riza's hand that way. Big Red had just tried to move a little ways toward Riza when Dino lost his balance. He fell backwards, taking Big Red down with him.

_THUD!_

Another crash was heard behind them.

"…Nya…."

"Mehhhh…." Roy groaned with swirly eyes as he lay on his back in the basement.

Riza turned around and didn't see Roy, but a pile of smoke, and a new hole. "Oh for the love of Pete!" she snapped.

"Pete?" Jazz said in a confused expression. "Who's Pete? Is he another daddy?"

"I told you I'm not pregnant!" Riza shouted. She couldn't control her hormones anymore.

Roy's eyes popped open when he heard the word 'pregnant'. "What? Hawkeye? You're pregnant? Why didn't you tell me?" he said as he stood up suddenly. _That would explain the weird moody stuff._

"I'M NOT PREGNENT!" Riza snapped again as she walked over to Roy, somewhat in a stomping fashion.

"Be carefu-" Jazz was cut off. She saw Riza's stomping and was about to tell her to take it easy on the floor, but it was too late.

_Crash!_

Riza glared down at the floor evilly. Her boot went through the floor and looked as if it was being swallowed up by the wood around it. "Hmmmm….." she growled irritatedly. She pulled up hard on her leg, her boot exploding from its wooden captor. Then she walked the rest of the way over to Roy, careful not to stomp this time and regaining her professional composer.

"Uh?" Roy said when he glanced up and he saw Riza staring down on him. "Lieutenant! There's something there! Watch out!" he shouted.

"…Nya…" they heard the strange sound again.

"Hm?" Riza said as she looked up and over to the small green orbs.

Jazz looked as well. "Ahhhhuuuuooooo!" Excitement overcame her face. "It's Kiari!" she squealed as she ran passed Riza and to the other end of the room. "Come here, baby!" she said happily as she picked up a bundle of light grey fur.

"What's that?" Riza asked. She saw a black tail wrap around Jazz's waist.

"It's Kiari!" Jazz said again, and then she turned around to face her friends. In her arms she held a cat. It was a shorthaired cat. Light grey, almost a dirty colored white on most of her body, her face, legs, and tail was black. She had beautiful green eyes. "This is Kiari the Hell Cat! We call her that 'cause she always does that to people. She lures them in with her eyes just so they will fall through the floors."

"A cat?" Riza asked as she walked over to Jazz. She then bent down and rubbed the cat behind the ears. Then she and Jazz walked over to Roy.

Jazz bent down over the hole. "See her? Isn't she cute?"

_I hate cats and little kids._ Roy thought to himself as he looked up. His uniform once again filthy, the dust and dirt was even in his black hair. He glared at the little cat.

"Nya?" the little cat replied his glare with a confused sounding meow. She cocked her head a little to the left in confusion.

The scene switches back to the Central building. Hughes and Havoc are standing in front of the door to the mess hall.

"Are we ready?" Hughes asked in a serious tone. His arm muscles tensed at his sides as he readied himself for the upcoming battle.

"Uh… sure…." Havoc replied. He couldn't believe he was about to do this. Or that Hughes was so crazed up about it. This was the perfect time for a sigh and a cigarette. He glanced over at Hughes. The tall man with glasses standing beside him looked like he was about to go into a full fledged battle. He even brought his little knives with him. Havoc was unarmed.

"Let's go!" Hughes said in a macho voice as he and Havoc stepped forward. They opened the door and a bright light appeared, covering everything in the area, including themselves.

AN: Hi guys. Sorry you didn't get to see much of Havoc and Hughes. I thought the thing with Roy and Riza would be like one page, but it turned out to be about six. Sorry again. I told you I have a bad habit of stringing things out. I tried to add some sparks between Roy and Riza again for you. Hope you weren't disappointed.


	26. If You Can’t Stand the Heat, then Stay O

AN: Hello my friends! Tis me, yes me, the one and only me! Mwahahahhahahaha! Can you tell I'm really bored right now? Either really bored… or really crazy. Maybe both?

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 26: If You Can't Stand the Heat, then Stay Out of the Kitchen!

"Let's go!" Hughes said in a macho voice as he and Havoc stepped forward, they opened the door and a bright light appeared, covering everything in the area, including themselves.

Once inside the door the light faded and everything became visible. Hughes stood with his mouth hanging open. It was like he had found the kingdom in the Wizard of Oz, or something to that effect.

"Hm?" Havoc said as he stared at Hughes. "Uh... sir?" he asked as he began waving his hand in front of Hughes' face. The dark haired major didn't move an inch. It looked as if he was hypnotized. "….Uh….?"

"It's beautiful isn't it, Lieutenant?" Hughes said as he stared, his light yellow eyes wide and full of awe.

"Hm?" Havoc asked as he turned around. It was the same room they sat in everyday at meal time. Why was Hughes so impressed today? Even if it was his first time in the mess hall, which it wasn't, it still wasn't anything to be shocked about. There were no fancy lights, awesome music, girls in mini skirts, there wasn't even any good food. The room was large and made of old white bricks. The white paint was beginning to fade, leaving the walls appearing to be a light gray. Rows of bright lights strung across the ceiling, making the room very bright. The floor was gray and looked to be a bunch of big pieces of tile fitted together in no special order, just pushed together to cover the floor. In the room sat long tables that stretched across most of the room and an endless supply of stools were pushed under them. There were also windows on one end of the room, revealing the hallway on the other side of the mess hall. Soldiers were already filling the tables and eating their meals that were said to be edible, but didn't taste like it. In the military, if you didn't die from food poisoning, then it's ok to eat. "It's lunch time?" Havoc asked as he glanced at the clock that hung on the wall.

"No!" Hughes replied as he raised one arm in the air and his glasses lit up. "It's the perfect time! Dinner time! The chefs are busying serving supper! We can sneak in and out unnoticed!"

"I see," Havoc replied. He reached in his pocket, looking for a cigarette. An annoyed expression appeared on his face when he remembered Hughes had stolen them.

"Come and follow me!" Hughes said. He was loud and irritating when he spoke. From the looks of it he was going to burst into the kitchen and go into a deadly battle with the chefs, you know, like in the movies. His glasses flashed a beam of light one final time.

"Uh…" Havoc said as he watched Hughes. He stood in the same position for a few minutes, as if he was pondering what he was going to do.

"Come on, Havoc," he whispered in a voice so quiet you could barley hear him over the other soldiers' conversations combined with the crunching on overcooked food and pieces of silverware hitting together.

"Yes, sir," Havoc replied. Hughes then started off. He was tiptoeing through the mess hall toward the kitchen door. Havoc just stared at him. _I really wish I had a cigarette. I think the withdrawal is making me see things. Is he really tiptoeing through the mess hall or am I going mad? _He wondered, not moving from his current spot.

"Come on, Havoc. This is our big chance," Hughes whispered again as he quietly put his hand on the kitchen door. His body pressed up against the wall beside it, only his hand touched the door. He was really serious about his. It looked as if there was an armed gunman on the other side ready to kill whoever opened the door. He pushed the door open slowly. It made a loud creak noise. Hughes flinched at the loud sounds and quickly looked over toward the chefs, who were out of the kitchen serving the food. _Good, there's a long line of poor souls... oh! Uh… I mean soldiers wanting to be served._ He thought to himself as he slipped in and motioned to Havoc with his hand that it was clear and that he should follow.

_The things I put up with._ Havoc thought with a sigh as he followed the Major into the kitchen that was said to be off limits. He knew Hughes was just making a joke out of something ridiculous. That's just the kind of man Hughes was, and that's also the reason why so many people either loved him to death, or hated his guts and wanted him to burn in hell.

Havoc walked into the kitchen. It was a good size. There were two long counters that sat in the middle of the room and stretched all the way down to the other end of the kitchen, the tops of the counters were sliver plated. The chefs cooked on the silver countertops. In the cabinets below and lined on the walls of the kitchen were pots, pans, plates, any kind of dish imaginable. The floor was an ugly red square tile. They could see pieces of lettuce and other various foods stuck in the dark cracks. In the back of the room was a door. That's where the shipments came in. On the white painted walls were also white cabinets. They were full of all sorts of spices and food that didn't need to be refrigerated. Against the back wall was a huge stove. It stretched across the whole wall with all sorts of different types of burners. Under the burners were two or three huge ovens, there was a chicken cooking in one of the three ovens.

_That's so going to turn black before it comes out of there… disgusting._ Havoc thought to himself as the smell of burnt chicken filled his nostrils. Behind him and beside the door he entered through there was a large sink. In it sat a few dirty dishes. On the silver plated sink sat the orange dish soap as well a sponge to wash out the pots and pans. Havoc looked around, but didn't see Hughes.

"Psst…. Psst… Havoc," Hughes whispered.

"Hm?" Havoc looked around confused. He could hear Hughes, but he couldn't see him.

"PSST!" the hissing sound echoed through the kitchen. "Down here…."

"Sir?" Havoc asked as he walked down the small isle between the two counters. As he walked toward the end of the isle he felt a sudden tug on his pant leg. "Hm?" he looked down.

"Hide," Hughes whispered as he tugged on Havoc's leg. He was sitting in one of the cabinets under the counter that had sliding doors. His hand and head peeked out of the sliding door. The rest of his body was smashed inside along with the bigger pots. One of the pots sat on his head, covering the top of his eyes and pressing his square-shaped glass hard against his nose.

"How did you get in there?" Havoc asked as he bent over to look Hughes in the face. His position looked all but comfortable.

"Hurry, hide!" Hughes hissed again. Then his pointed to the clock on the wall. He was careful not to point to far, in fear his arm would slip out and he wouldn't be able to pull his elbow back in the crammed space. "It's almost time for the chefs to come back."

"Really? Already?" Havoc asked as he stood up straight again and diverted his attention toward the clock. "Oh it is. I'm sure the chefs here would be happy to lend yo-"

_Slap!_

Havoc was cut off from his sentence as he felt a fierce slap on his back. "HEY!" he shouted as he turned around fast. Behind him stood a chef, as tall as he was wide, his tall figure towered over Havoc.

The chef's build was much like that of Armstrong's only a bit taller and a head full of black hair, covered by those ugly, tall, white chef's hat. You know the Pillsbury Dough Boy kind. His eyes were a piercing shade of an ugly dark green.

"Hmmmmmm…." the large chef growled. His face glaring down at Havoc's, mere inches away. Havoc could feel the chef's hot breath steaming down his neck. "What are you doing in here? This place is off limits to the likes of you," his deep voice boomed. A small slapping sound was heard. Havoc glanced down. In the man's hand was a pink flyswatter. He was slapping it against the counter next to them.

_Wow…. I'm glad that's not me right now._ Hughes thought to himself. He had closed the cupboard door just before the chef noticed he was there.

"Uh…" Havoc began as he stared at the chef's angry face. He was very nervous at this point, and dying for a cigarette. _Oh please let this be a symptom of withdrawal. Please…_ Havoc prayed to himself. When he saw the frightening image in front of him wasn't disappearing he began to speak, it was a nervous slurred sound, but speaking none the less. "I'm s-sorry, sir… but I was j-just trying to get a spatula. I was ordered to by a M-Major…"

"You were trying to steal one of my spatulas?" the chef asked. His voice deep and gruff.

"Steal is such an ugly word," Havoc began but was cut off with another slap.

"Move, boy!" the chef snapped as he smacked Havoc with the flyswatter again. This slap hit him in the side.

"Ouch, that hurt!" Havoc snapped. He was brought out of his fear by pain and he glared at the chef. A new burst of pride and courage raced through his veins as adrenaline pumped through his system.

"I said move!" the chef yelled angrily.

"Make me!" Havoc snapped back, standing his ground firmly.

Pure hate and rage over took the chef's face as he lifted his deadly swatter high in the air and brought it down hard on Havoc, slapping him on the left shoulder. Then a loud slap was heard, louder then all the other. Hughes sweared you could hear it echoing through the halls.

"Ahhh! Ouch! Ok! I give! I give!" Havoc shouted as he turned tail and ran. The chef was hot on his heels.

"Come back here!" the chef yelled as he chased Havoc around the kitchen. The sound of pots and pans falling on tile was heard as they ran wildly through the isles.

"But you just told me to move!" Havoc replied in a frantic attempt to get away. "Owww! Oh watch it with that thing!" Havoc snapped as another sharp pain hit him in the right side of his back. The slaps were hard and deadly, through they were just a quick swat the pain remained for at least five minutes. It felt like he had a really bad sunburn and was then sung by a bee on top of it. "AHHH!"

"Come here, boy!" the chef shouted again as the sound of falling pans radiated through the room. Once it sounded like all the pans in the joint had fallen to the ground at once Hughes thought it was time to take a peek.

He slowly slid the door open; just enough that his little gold eyeball could see the area.

"Oh please stop! It hurts!"

_Slap!_

"GAHHHHHHHH!"

_Are they killing him?_ Hughes wondered. He slid the door open a little farther.

"AHHHHH! Come on, let me go!" Havoc shouted.

Hughes finally caught a glimpse of them. He tried with all his might not to laugh. Havoc was clinging to one of the counter tops. It didn't take Hughes long to figure out Havoc's attempted plan. Havoc was planning on jumping on the countertop and sliding over, leaving the chef on the other side. Havoc tried to jump over, but the chef grabbed him by the jacket before he could make it over. Havoc was now clinging to the other side of the counter for dear life as the chef tried to pry him off with one hand, while swatting him with the other.

_Slap!_

"MAAAAAHHHHH!"

_Slap!_

"Would you cut it out?"

_SLAP!_

"Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Man, that stings!"

"AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!" Hughes couldn't help himself. This was just too funny. Never in his life had he ever seen a solider being beaten down by a chef, and with a flyswatter. "Hahahahahahah," he continued laughing, little did he know the second chef had entered the room. He was about to go help his friend when he heard Hughes's laughter. This chef was very short, shorter then Ed. (I know Ed's not in here, just making a reference). He wore the same white chef uniform the first chef did, but his had a few red and yellow stains on it. His eyes were a pale blue and his hair was a dark brown, pulled back into a ponytail and covered by a black hair net, he almost looked like he was a member of the midget mafia. He was short indeed, but his appearance looked to be a mobster. He looked down the row and saw a little of Hughes' body sticking out from the cabinet. He quietly snuck around side of the counter opposite the side Hughes' was on.

"Get me out of here!" Havoc shouted. The chef had managed to pull Havoc off the counter top and was now chasing him around the kitchen again. "Whoa!" Havoc yelled as he almost tripped over a pan that lay on the floor. He regained his balance and took off once again. The chef following close behind, not tripping over any of the pans that lay scattered on the tile floor.

"Hahahahahahahahah!" Hughes continued laughing. He was clutching his sides. _Oh it hurts to laugh._ He said as he wiped a small tear away from his eye.

_Cccccccccrrrrrrrreeeeak._

A little noise was heard. Hughes didn't notice over his laughter and Havoc's shouts, but the second chef had opened the door behind Hughes. There were doors on both sides of the counters. Hughes hadn't noticed this minor detail.

"Hehehehe," the short chef chuckled evilly. He glared at Hughes, who still hadn't noticed he was there. "Hehhehehehe," he continued this little giggle as he reached up on the counter, almost having to stand all the way up to reach the silver plated top. He flashed an evil smile as he grabbed a big two prong fork. It was the type of fork you used to roast marshmallows or hotdogs over the fire when you went camping. The chef then bent back down toward Hughes. His eyes flashed evilly again as he pulled out the fork, it sparkled and shined in the light. _Ok, Mr. Military man, say hello to my lil' friend._ He thought in his mob accent as he thrust the fork forward and into the right side of Hughes' buttocks.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hughes shouted louder then Havoc ever had. He jumped up fast and his head hit the inside of the counter top. His head bashed against the top hard, leaving an indentation that shown brightly against the reflecting light of the silver plated top. "Ayyyeeeeeeee," he whined as he rubbed his sore butt, then his sore head. He peeked out of the cabinet and at the small chef. An irritated looked appeared over his face and he got out of the small space, taking some pans down with him. He towered over the small chef as he stood up straight. Hughes glared down at the small mobster, his face serious and angry as leaned over to he was almost even with man's eyes. The man had to tilt his head back and stare at the ceiling to see Hughes' towering glare.

"Hm?" the chef replied in an annoyed fashion as he returned Hughes glare, unsure of what was going to happen next.

"Sir, you have just punctured the most holy of places. Now you must pay!" Hughes shouted in his angry yet comical voice. One flip of his wrist and a little dragger like knife came shooting out of his sleeve and into his hand. A smirk then appeared on his face.

"Really?" the chef replied with a smirk of his own. He then raised his deadly two pronged fork and pointed it at Hughes. "We who are about to die, salute you!" he shouted a battle cry of the gladiators.

Hughes nodded as he and the little man began clashing eating utensils.

AN: So what did you think? Funny? Not funny? Stupid? Lol, tell me! Sorry I couldn't finish this chapter. It was getting too long for one chapter alone. It will continue next time. We will probably see Riza and Roy in the next chapter too, but I'm not promising anything!


	27. Fast Food Isn’t all it’s Cracked Up to B

AN: Hi guys! 304 reviews and 10,816 hits! Lots of people don't review… BUT THAT'S OK! I love you all anyway! (not in a gay way)

Sugar High: Wow…. I congratulate you… I have never seen someone put so many different subjects in one review. It was quite fun to read XD. I'm glad you thought Havoc was pretty on. Yeah, I kinda just wrote him how I thought he should be, praying it was close to the real thing. That's about all you can do, right? HAPPY LATE COW DAY EVERYONE!

gundams forever: Sorry to say, but there are no Royai moments in this chapter. If you would have asked A LONG time ago there would have been, but see, this story was posted along time ago, then deleted for some reason, too many author notes I think. Right now I'm just fixing grammar mistakes and reposting it. But once I get to the new stuff there will be Royai moments just for you . Yes, I will dedicate them to you. It should be around chapter 39 or 40 I believe is where I left off.

MoonStarDutchess: I'm posting this quick. I have to go to work soon. Working until 9 o' clock tonight (if you don't have a job be glad, working sucks…). So I don't know if I can read any of your stories at this moment, but I promise I will read them sometime this week. Any you REALLY want me to read?

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 27: Fast Food Isn't all it's Cracked Up to Be

"Sir, you have just punctured the most holy of places. Now you must pay!" Hughes shouted in his angry yet comical voice. One flip of his wrist and a little dragger like knife came shooting out of his sleeve and into his hand. A smirk appeared on his face.

"Really?" the chef replied with a smirk of his own. He then raised his deadly two pronged fork and pointed it at the Major. "We who are about to die, salute you!" he shouted a battle cry of the gladiators.

Hughes nodded as he and the little man began clashing eating utensils. "Oh, ha, we!" Hughes muttered little things here and there as he dodged the sharp prongs. He was walking backwards, the chef walking toward him. Their sliver weapons made a clanging sound when they hit together. The mob chef did the lunging, Hughes blocked with his small knife. He was at a disadvantage; his knife was too short to poke the chef from a ways away. "WHOA!" Hughes shouted as he almost tripped over a pan. His hands waving wildly in the air, he quickly caught his balance.

"Ho!" the small chef shouted when he saw Hughes' attention was not on him. He thrusted the fork forward and poked him in the stomach.

"Ow!" Hughes whined as he rubbed the sore spot. It wasn't bleeding, but it was hard enough of a hit to leave a small mark, as well as a hole in his navy blue jacket. "Come on, is that the best you got?" he asked as he stared jumping around like a kung fu master, moving his hands around in a strange martial arts like fashion. "Whoooo, wa ha!" he shouted, a smile on his face as he showed his…. interesting moves.

"Hm?" an annoyed expression appeared on the vertically challenged man's face as he watched Hughes wale around like an idiot. "Ptt…" he grunted at his threats and lunged forward again.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Hughes jumped back fast as the fork came in contact with the upper part of his left leg. "That's not fair! You're cheating! You're short! You can reach things better!"

As Havoc dashed passed Hughes he calculated that last interpretation in his mind. _Too short… can reach things better... well that made a whole lot of sense…_

_SMACK!_

The huge chef was right behind him. "I'm going! I'm going!" Havoc retorted to the whip like feeling as he sped up and around the end of the counter.

"Heh," the tall chef gave a satisfied grunt.

"Hughes!" Havoc's thin body was smaller and easier to move around compared to the big chef, making Havoc faster then him. He quickly got away from the chef and ran to Hughes' side. "Let's go! Forget about the stupid spatula!" he said somewhat out of breath, a few red makes on his face and hands.

"Yahh!" the little chef shouted as his arm leached out and poked Havoc in the side.

Havoc jumped back suddenly and glared at the little man. "Ouch! That hurt!" he whined as he rubbed his side, two little holes were visible in his jacket. "You put a hole in it!"

"I'll put a hole in you!" the chef replied in his mob voice as he thrashed out again. Havoc jumped back, but was stopped by a swat in the back.

"Ahh! Man, that stings!" he shouted. As he turned around fast and faced the large chef. He rubbed his sore back and stared, unsure of what move to make.

"Heyeah!" the small chef shouted again as he lunged forward and poked Havoc in his unprotected butt.

"OYO!" Havoc then shot around fast, making sure his eyes were fixed on the smaller chef. He wanted to know what the little man was doing at all times.

"Hah!" the tiny chef shouted again.

"I got this one!" Havoc replied with a smile as his hands blocked the prongs. "Ahhhiii! Oh that wasn't smart," he shouted. The prongs dug deep into his hand, leaving to small bleeding puncture wounds. "Don't you know I'm unarmed?" He whined as he shook his sore hand in the air, trying to get some of the stinging pain to go away.

The tall chef just smirked as he stood behind Havoc, watching his partner work.

"Heh," the little man smirked again. He lunged forward. His prongs aiming for Havoc's… um... ahem... 'down south' as some people would put it. The short man knew the one weakness that could bring the biggest and strongest of men down. He was in reach of it, so of course he couldn't refuse. "I think it time to do some landscaping on the private property."

"Looks like we're roasting weenies tonight," the bigger chef said with a smirk.

"Ohhhhhhh nooooo! Not there!" Havoc shouted and dodged the attacked. He jerked his body to the left, just missing the deadly prongs.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hughes burst out laughing once again. _Poor Havoc._ He thought to himself as he bent over a little, putting his hands on his knees and dying of laughter. To Havoc and the two chefs this was very serious, but to Hughes it was just one big game. A game with a few painful pokes here and there. All in all, it was worth it!

"Gah!" Havoc shouted as he took off running again. It was worse this time, this time both of the chefs were on his tail. Poking him and slapping him along the way.

"Come back here you little!" the big chef shouted. He was getting very irritated that Havoc wouldn't stand still. They were running around and around in circles around the two counters.

_I think it's time I help the Lieutenant out._ "Are you referring to your short friend?" Hughes asked, breaking his laughter every now and them to say something. "The short guy is the one right behind you. Or is he just too small for you to see him?" He asked as he stood upright, his laughter stopped and he smirked. _Boy, Roy would love this, short jokes!_

"Hmmmm….." both chefs stopped dead in their tracks and turned to glare at Hughes, who had moved to the other side of the right counter. Havoc stopped running as well and turned to see what Hughes was cooking up.

"You want some of this?" Hughes asked as he stood behind the counter, the smirk still on his face.

Both the chefs growled and lunged toward Hughes, fork and swatter in hand, just itching for the taste of flesh and blood. "You want to play with me, big man?" the little mobster asked angrily.

"Do you want some of this? Huh? Do ya? Do ya?" Hughes asked playfully. He began jumping around a little bit. His back bent over slightly, it almost looked like the position you took while playing defense in basketball.

"Yes!" the big man shouted as he jumped the counter. The little man tried, but was too short. He just clung to the counter top, trying to pull himself over.

"Too slow!" Hughes retorted and jumped over the counter, leaving them on opposite sides once again.

"Grrrrrrr….." the big chef growled. He was getting really sick of this.

Hughes replied his growl with a smirk. "Did I disappoint you? Sorry about that. I hope you can forgive me." In his hast he didn't notice the small chef didn't make it over the counter and was standing on the same side as he was.

"Hehehe," the small chef smirked when he got an idea.

"Hughes, watch out!" Havoc shouted, but it was too late.

"Huh?" Hughes's head shot in Havoc's direction.

"Got ya!" the mobster shouted as he lunged at Hughes and tackled his legs, knocking him backwards and on his butt.

_Oh no…_ Hughes though to himself as the small man sat on his chest, fork in hand.

"Sir!" Havoc shouted. He was getting way to into this. It's like his body snapped into combat mode and he raced toward his friend, adrenaline pumping through his veins. He rushed across the room and was about to lunge at the little man when he tripped over a pot. "Whoa!" he yelled as he flew forward. The speed and momentum he got from running caused his to fly and then slide right across the top of the sliver plated counter, and then fall on his head on the opposite side.

_Ouch, that had to hurt._ Hughes thought after he heard the loud thud that was made from Havoc's body hitting the hard tile floor.

"Oooooohhhooooo," Havoc whined as he opened his blue eyes, his head now throbbing. "Eh!" his eyes widened immediately when he saw the large chef towering over him. "Ahhhhhh!"

_Slap!_

"Gahhh! Please! Show mercy!" Havoc shouted as he scrambled to his feet, slipping every now and then. He leached forward, the chef following him once again. We were back to our original match up.

"Hehehehehe," the little chef crackled an evil laugh as he sat upon Hughes' chest.

"Uh…" Hughes gulped, his voice was nervous and slurred a bit. His yellow eyes were locked on the pointy prongs pointed down at him. "Can't we just talk this out? Man to man? Uniform to uniform? Giant to shrimp?" He asked, his eyes darting around the room every few seconds, searching for means of escape.

"Talk is cheap! Let's get cookin'!" the little mob man said as he lifted the fork high into the air. He brought it down hard. A small crunch noise was heard as the prongs entered Hughes' jacket, right where the pocket was.

"Huh? What's that?" the little man asked as he pulled the fork out and suck his hand in Hughes' pocket. There was a box in there. He pulled it out; two holes were punctured in the small, squished, square box.

"Hm?" Hughes stared at the box for a moment.

"Noooooooo!" Havoc shouted from the other end of the room.

_Slap!_

"My…!"

_Slap!_

"…Cigarettes!" Havoc yelled as he ran. His body was running in one direction, his blue eyes in the other. The big chef held Havoc by the shirt collar was trying to hold him back in one place. He couldn't hold him down, but he could slow him down. Slow enough to get a few good whacks in there at least.

_Swat!_

"Hold still and quit whining!" the big chef yelled as he raised the pink swatter in the air again. The color of the pink swatter along with the white of the chef's uniform, and the navy blue of Havoc's uniform stood out vividly against the white cabinets and walls of the kitchen.

"You don't understand! He blackmailed me! Then he stabbed it! That's means I'm doing all this for nothing!" Havoc shouted as he tried to scramble away.

"Anyway, back to business," the little chef said as he glared down at Hughes again. He was about to strike a second time when an idea popped into Hughes' head and his glasses flashed.

"Hold on! I have something very important to show you," he said in a serious tone.

"Huh?" the tiny man replied as he stopped his attack for a moment. Hughes' sudden seriousness interested him. "What is it?"

"Only the best thing on the face of the planet!" Hughes shouted. His glasses still lit up. He took a deep breath, and then reached for his pocket. "This is my wife, Gracia!" he shouted as he shoved to picture in the little man's face.

"What?" the chef jumped back in surprise. Once the weight was lifted off Hughes' chest he quickly lifted his upper body off the ground, so he was in a sitting position.

"Wha!" Havoc tripped over the small chef as he ran by. They hit the tie floor with a thud.

"Ouch," Havoc said as he tried to get up, the small man underneath him, tangled in his long legs.

"Come here, boy!" the tall chef said as he ran around the counter and grabbed Havoc's shirt collar again. He lifted Havoc up, hoisting him high in the air.

"Please… can't we just-" he began then stopped himself as his eyes wandered around the kitchen. Right behind the big chef was a silver spatula, sitting on the stovetop. His eye wandered a little farther, just beyond the stove was the sink and the door next to it.

"What?" the large chef asked as he flicked the swatter.

"Uh…." Havoc said as he tried to think of something. _What would the Lieutenant Colonel do?_

"Look!" Hughes said again. "This is my wife! Isn't she beautiful?" a large and proud smile on his face.

"Ptt..." the small chef spat again. His face had an annoyed expression as he picked himself up off the tile floor, stepped out from under the big chef, and walked back toward Hughes. He was irritated, and done playing games.

"Well... what do you think? Am I right or am I right?" Hughes asked as he waved the picture around. The chef didn't reply. He stood over Hughes, staring. His pale blue eyes had shown no hint of any emotion, none except hate.

He took a deep breath and exhaled it out of his nose, making his nostrils flare, much like a bull's would. Hughes didn't seem to notice, he was rambling and on on. "Hyeah!" he said after a few seconds. His fork shot straight in front of him. The small man still didn't show any emotion. He pulled the fork back and stared some more, the expression on his face still not changing.

"What'd you say?" the tall chef asked Havoc again. He was becoming very irritated and his grip on Havoc's shirt collar was tightening. If there was no fabric to separate the man's fingernails from the flesh of his palm, you could bet there'd be blood by now.

"Uh?" Havoc said again, still trying to think of something to do.

"NUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOO!" Hughes' mind numbing scream cut through the entire kitchen. Both Havoc's and the chef's heads shot in the direction of the screaming man.

Havoc expected to see blood. The sound of Hughes' scream was so... tormented. He thought he had stabbed Hughes in the chest, or worse, in his 'happy place'.

"HOW COULD YOU?" Hughes cried as he stared at the man. His eyes full of tears. The chef didn't reply, nor did his expression change from before.

"Hm?" Havoc glanced down at the floor. On the tile lay the picture of Gracia, well, half of it anyway. His eyes wandered back up the crying man's body, in his shaking hand was the other piece of the photo. The small man had decapitated Gracia. _Ouch, that's gotta hurt._

"How could you….?" Hughes cried again. "YOU CUT HER HEAD OFF! GRAICA! Garcia, I'm coming! Don't worry; it will all be alright in a minute!" he said as he picked up the other half of the picture off the floor and looked around franticly. "WHERE'S THE TAPE?" he shouted.

_I got it!_ Havoc said as an idea quickly popped into his head. If he wanted to do what Roy would do, then he'd have to think like him. He glanced down at the large chef. His attention was still on Hughes. Havoc took a deep breath, he was trying to make this next statement sound as realist as possible. "Look!" he shouted as he pointed to the left of the big chef. "Women in tight little mini skirts!"

"Where?" the chef asked as his head shot in the direction Havoc had been pointing in.

_Now's my chance!_ Havoc thought as he frantically pulled is lower body up. He kicked the large chef in the stomach hard with both feet.

"Ahhhhh, why you little!" the chef growled as he bent forward a little bit. His chest was moving up and down at a rapid pace, heaving and coughing.

_I have to thank Hawkeye for that._ Havoc thought as the image of when Riza had punched him in the stomach outside the office window rushed back to him. He quickly hoisted his body up higher and kicked the man in the face. The chef quickly released Havoc's collar as he grabbed at his face. He growled in agony, Havoc's heel had got him right in the eye.

Havoc fell to the floor and scrambled across the tile, more or less crawling quickly on all fours. He reached up and scooped up the spatula as he raced past the stove. Then he headed toward the door.

"Grrrr…." the chef growled as he tried to open his now black eye. He raced after Havoc.

_This had better work._ Havoc thought as he grabbed for the sink. With his free hand he grabbed the orange dish soap. He needed a little diversion, a way to get back to Major Hughes and then back to the door.

The small chef still glared at Hughes, nostrils still flaring. He'd never met anyone like Hughes. He annoyed the small man on so many levels, it was almost amazing.

"Come here you little brat!" the big chef boomed as he raced toward Havoc. Once he got within a few feet of the sandy blonde haired man Havoc pulled out the soap and squeezed it hard. Orange liquid squirted out everywhere. It splattered on the floor and as well as in the big man's eyes.

"GRRRAAAAAAAHHHHH!" the large man roared in pain as he grabbed at his soap filled eyes.

_Ouch, that has to burn._ Havoc thought as he dashed passed the chef and toward Hughes. He quickly rushed to Hughes' side. He grabbed the Major by the arm and pulled him up, then dragged him to the door. "Come on, sir. I got the spatula!" he said as he dragged Hughes, who was still whining and crying, but he followed his subordinate.

"He chopped her in half…." Hughes said again. The shock was still plastered all over his face. "Right in half, just like that…" he continued as he clutched the pieces in his hand.

"Don't worry. You have plenty more," Havoc replied. He rushed past the large chef, hoping to miss the giant swinging arms. The man still roared in pain, his arms swinging wildly, he was blind from the soap. This gave Havoc and Hughes a better chance to get away.

"He chopped… GAH!" Hughes continued. Once Havoc pulled him passed the chef he began slipping in the soap that was on the floor.

"Come on, we're almost there," Havoc said as he dragged Hughes along. Hughes tried to get back up, but the soap was all over his boots, making him slip and slide all over. It felt as if he was trying to walk on ice. Havoc glanced back at the small chef. He hadn't moved from his original spot, still glaring. He didn't care that they were getting away, or that they had his spatula. He just wanted them gone.

A few seconds later Havoc burst though the door. It took a little doing trying to get Hughes up and passed the rampaging man. It ate up some of their time.

There was silence in the mess hall as all the men that were supposed to be eating their dinners stared at Havoc and Hughes. Havoc could hear the large chef screaming in the background. A nervous smile appeared on his face as he tried to think of what to do.

"Uh…." Havoc stared at them, unsure of what to do. Hughes was on the floor next to him. Havoc had a hold of his arm, pulling him along the way.

"He chopped her in half," Hughes mumbled again.

"…" they all glanced down at Hughes. He looked as if he'd been brainwashed.

Havoc decided it would be best if they got out of there. He pulled Hughes' seeming to be limp body up toward his upper body. He slug Hughes' arm over his shoulder then grabbed his waist. He then carried him out of the mess hall and dragged him down the hallway.


	28. Santa’s Little Helpers

AN: I'M OFF TODAY, YAY!

MoonStarDutchess: Wow… I shouldn't complain... you sound busier then me. I go to school from 8am to 3pm, get home at like 3:30pm, sit around for like 20 mins then get ready to go to work, work until 9pm, then come home and do 3 hours of homework or so. So yeah… I'm like… always moving from 6:30am to about 1am. I usually get 2 days off from work a week, which is when I write, and I work 8 hours on Saturday (1pm to 9pm) and 6 hours on Sunday (3pm to 9pm) and I have church before that too. So that's like from 9am to 12pm. Yeah, I'm busy. So… you can understand if I can't read your fic, right? I'm on chapter 17 right now, by the way. It's very good.

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 28: Santa's Little Helpers

"That is the last time I try and steal something from the kitchen," Havoc said as he and Hughes sulked down the long hallway and back to the office. On the way Hughes found his precious tape and fixed Gracia, so he was ok now, aside from the fact he was very sore from being poked and prodded.

"Don't worry," Hughes replied as he dragged his feet down the hallway. They looked like they had just run a mile or something. Too tired to stand up straight or pick up their feet. "I steal things from the kitchen all the time at home."

"Does Gracia find out?" Havoc asked; hand on his back like an old man as he rubbed some of his sore muscles. _I think that man gave me whiplash._

"I don't think so. She doesn't say anything," he replied.

"Then how do you know how they'll react? They know something was stolen," Havoc replied. The office was now in reach, it sat just down the hall. Armstrong had fixed the bookcase and moved all the furniture out into the hall. The desks sat in a row pressed up against the wall, while the chairs where stacked on top of each other, the bookcase next the desks. All the furniture was scratched, dented, and charred in some spots.

Hughes sighed with relief when he saw the office.

"Hey," Havoc retorted. "Don't think you're going to go in there and sit back and relax. We still have to clean up the office," he said as he watched Hughes' happy 'dreaming of doing nothing' face. An annoyed expression appeared on his face as he turned back to the office, spatula in hand.

"I'll be back in a little while and this place had better be showing some improvement!" a deep booming voice was heard from the room.

"Yes, sir!" Armstrong's voice replied.

"Oh please tell me that's not…" Havoc began, but was quickly cut off as the owner of the loud voice stepped into the hallway.

"Eh!" Havoc and Hughes gasped and shot up straight immediately. They stood firm and straight, arms locked at their sides and pain radiating through their sore bodies, but they showed no hint of it.

"There you are…" the huge figure said as he walked toward them, hands behind his back, the regular heartless expression on his face.

"Yes sir, General Gran!" Havoc replied as he saluted, forgetting the spatula was in his shaking hand.

"Ouch, watch it. I've been beaten enough today," Hughes whined. Once Havoc saluted the end of the spatula hit him in the face.

"Ueh!" Havoc gasped and his eyes widened when he realized what he had just done. He quickly put his arm down.

"Hmmmm…." the angry Brigadier General stepped in closer to him and leaned over a little, towering over and glaring down at Havoc. "Is that from the kitchen?"

"Uh…" Havoc replied, pondering for a moment. _What do I do? You idiot! That shouldn't even be a question! The chefs know you stole it! So if you say no and he finds out later that you lied! Then you're dead! _"Y-yes…sir... it is from the kitchen."

"Really?" Gran replied as he leaned back so he was standing up straight again. His eyes traced their uniforms. He saw the puncture holes in the navy blue material as well as the bleeding wound that was on Havoc's hand. It was wrapped in toilet paper and stained where the blood had run through. There were also red marks printed vividly on Havoc's face from where he had been slapped. The smell of the dish soap radiated off of them. This evidence gave the General a pretty good idea of what had happened. "Why do you have it?" he asked, just to see what their reaction would be.

"Uh…" both Havoc's and Hughes' eyes glanced at each other in a 'what do we do now?' fashion.

The General saw this and smirked a bit. "You have a lot of work to do. I'll take it back to the mess hall," he said in his normal grumpy tone as he reached over and snatched the spatula out of Havoc's hand.

"…ok…" Hughes replied in somewhat of a whiny voice. He wanted to cry, but held the tears in. The only hint of sadness was in his voice.

"Now…" Gran began as he walked a few feet then stopped, their backs facing each other, "GET BACK TO WORK!" his bear like voice boomed and echoed so loud in the halls Havoc swore he could feel the building shake.

"Yes, sir!" they replied in unison, gave a quick salute, and dashed back to the office.

Once they reached the office they lunged in and slammed the door behind them. Havoc leaned against the door and Hughes dropped to his knees, his yellow eyes staring at the green tile floor. He looked around a bit_. Roy missed a spot. It's still green over here. _

"Is something wrong?" Armstrong asked as he stopped mopping and looked over at them.

Havoc's blue eyes traveled up to the ceiling and he gave a small sigh. "We just went to hell, and we still haven't come back. It was all for nothing."

"Hm?" Armstrong looked at them questionably. The room was a little cleaner then before. He had taken the broken light, along with all the sparking wires, out of the middle of the floor. He also cleaned up all the crumpled papers, glass, and whatever else had littered the floor previously.

"Hey," Hughes cut in, "Don't think about it so awfully," he said as he looked up at Havoc with a smile. "We had one heck at an adventure!"

"Yeah… right…" Havoc replied as he glared down at Hughes.

"Hm…" Armstrong said again, pondering what they were talking about. He quickly gave up and got back to work.

The scene switches back to Roy and Riza.

Riza was standing over Roy's hole, still pondering how to get him out. They had tried some other things, but nothing worked. She gave a small sigh as she closed her amber eyes and folded her arms over her chest. Jazz stood next to her, petting Kiari, who was purring loudly.

"Have you thought of anything yet, sir?" Riza asked as she opened her eyes again, and laid one hand on her hip, the other at her side, staring down at Roy.

"No…" Roy replied as he sat on the dirty floor. One elbow resting on his leg, his chin resting in his hand as he thought. It was getting late; the sun was setting, making it even darker in the building and harder and harder to see.

"What do we do now?" Jazz asked as she walked to Riza's side, still holding Kiari in her arms.

"Get us out, that's what!" they heard Dino shout from the other hole.

"I'm tying," Riza replied in her calm voice. She looked down at Roy, pondering what move to make next. She wasn't panicking, she never panicked, but she was getting a little concerned. _How am I supposed to get him out? We've tried everything, and nothing has come even close to working._

They all thought for a little while longer. The sun had just set, leaving the building dark and cold. It was dark, darker then what could be called comfortable, but wasn't pitch black, more like an 8 o 'clock on a summer night dark. They were all grateful for this. They could still see some things without too much difficulty.

Big Red sighed loudly, getting very impatient. Now he and Dino were sitting on the ground, along with Roy. Roy glanced over at them. He could see the outline of their bodies in the dark. He could have gone and sat with them, it was an open basement after all, but he didn't feel like it. They weren't the most compatible people, and they didn't exactly smell like roses either.

"I'm getting tired, Miss Riza," Jazz said as she gave a big yawn and rubbed one of her eyes with her hand, she held Kiari in the other.

"Nya!" Kiari whined as she struggled to stay in Jazz's warm arms. She had lost a great deal of her bed when Jazz pulled her arm away, leaving the small light gray and black cat clinging to the other arm, falling through the space between Jazz's arm and her chest. "Nya…."

"Hey!" a loud childlike voice shouted from outside. "Kiro! Kiro, where are you?" the voice asked as it got closer. It was the voice of a young girl.

"Nya…" Kiari said again as she cocked her head to the left.

"Kiro, is that you?" the girl asked as she stepped into the building. Riza, Jazz, and Kiari stared at her. Roy looked up curiously, but couldn't see anything due to the dark and the fact he was stuck in the basement.

"Reina!" Jazz squealed as she dashed over to her friend. Kiari's short cat body was slinging back and forth in Jazz's one arm.

"N-N-NY-A-A!" the poor creature cried as she clung to Jazz for dear life.

"Jazz!" the girl replied as Jazz ran up to her and gave her a big hug with her free arm.

"Do you know her?" Riza asked as she stared at the girl, her arms folded over her stomach in a relaxed yet somewhat curious fashion.

The girl was very hard to see in the dark, but Riza could make out her features. She was a girl, not too tall and not too short, an average height for her age. She was ten years old. Her hair was a deep shade of brown, so deep that it appeared to be black and she had eyes to match. Her hair was pulled back into twp pigtails. They sat high on her head, letting her hair fly freely in the wind. Her hair wasn't too long, but was by no means short. The length was down to her shoulders. She wore a faded red shirt that looked to be about three sizes to big, and a pair of faded brown shorts, both articles of clothing were tattered and ripped, dirty as well, she wore no shoes just like Jazz. She wasn't missing any teeth, but her face had dirt smudged on it, you could tell she hadn't had a bath in awhile, and was definitely an orphan.

"Yes!" Jazz replied in a high pitched voice. She grabbed the girl's arm and pulled her over toward Riza. "This is Reina! She may be a lot older then me, five years to be exact, but she's still my best friend!"

"I see," Riza replied with a small smile as she bent down, eyelevel with Reina. "Are you all alone?"

"Oh no!" Reina replied in a happy tone as she turned around to face the door. "I have lotsa friends!" she said as she glanced back at Riza. A proud smile appeared on her face, like she was about to show Riza the greatest thing in the world. "Hey guys! I found Jazz! She's in here!" Reina yelled at the top of her lungs to the outside world.

"Eh!" Riza said in shock. She quickly grabbed Reina and cupped her mouth with her hands.

"Reina, don't yell. My daddy is out looking for us," Jazz said in a whisper like voice. She put her finger to her lips in a 'shhhhhh' motion.

"Oooohhhhhoooooo…." Reina replied, now in a quiet voice as well. "Sorry, I didn't know."

"Reina!" they heard another voice call from outside. Just then a few more small bodies came in, four to be exact.

"Reina, did you find Kiro?" a boy asked as he and the others walked in.

"Shut up, Kenny!" Reina snapped. "We have to be quiet. The gangsters are after Jazz's friends."

"Oh, that's not good, sorry," Kenny whispered back.

Riza stared at these children in wonder. A variety of ages stood in front of her, but Reina appeared to be the oldest. There was one other girl among the group that had just arrived. She was a little older then Jazz, maybe six or seven. She had long black hair pulled back into a ponytail, the ponytail hung down to her waist. She had piercing lime green eyes, she was very pretty. She wore a large black t-shirt and black pants, they weren't shorts, but weren't pants either. They hung down a few inches below her knees.

The other three kids were boys. Kenny, the boy Reina had just yelled at appeared to be eight, or very close to nine. He was missing one of his front teeth and had messy light brown hair, sort of a cinnamon color. His eyes were a gold color, a little darker shade then Hughes'. He was clearly a face you didn't see everyday. He wore a dirty white tank top and baggy black pants. The other two boys that stood behind him looked to be brothers. One was a little taller then the other, he looked to be about a year older. They both had blonde hair and brown eyes. The older boy looked to be about six, while his brother was four or five. Both the boys looked very shy, they cowered behind Kenny, the smaller boy clinging to his older brother's shirt, peeking out from behind his back. They both had on large, long sleeved, shirts, blue and brown, and old blue pants. All the children were skinny and had old ripped clothing on.

"Hi, Kenny," Jazz said to the boy with a smile. "Hi, Sayo," she said as she turned her gaze to the girl in black that stood to the right of Kenny. Sayo just gave a small nod in reply. She was now very shy as well. She usually wasn't, Jazz guessed it was because Riza was there. Sayo was afraid of the military. She became quiet and unsure when she saw Riza's navy blue uniform.

"Hm?" Riza pondered as she stared at the little girl. She looks familiar somehow, not her, but her eyes.

"Tommy, Blare," Reina asked the two boys that stood behind Kenny. "Did you find Kiro?"

"Uh… mmm," they both shook their heads no, giving her a reply with actions rather then words.

"Ok," Reina replied with a kind, reassuring smile, "That's ok, we'll find her later."

"K," both the boys replied in unison and gave a small nod.

Roy was listening from in the basement. "Lieutenant, who is that?"

"Just some kids, sir," Riza replied as she glanced back at the hole.

"Oooohooooo," Reina said as she ran over to the hole excitedly then looked down at Roy, "Looks like you got catted!" she said with a laugh.

"Huh?" Roy asked. His face turning up in her direction.

"Nya," Kiari said again, retuning to her comfortable position once Jazz up her arm back up.

Reina glanced back at Jazz, "Sure enough, the Hell Cat has done it again."

"She does this often?" Riza asked, somewhat confused.

"Oh yes, she does it all the time. She tricks people into coming in here by flashing her eyes at them. She loves to see them fall through the floors."

"I told them that already," Jazz replied as she scratched Kiari's head.

"Ok," Reina said and looked back down at Roy. _Wow, he's hot, and if he's hot in the dark, I can't wait to see what he looks like in the light._ "So why are you still down there?"

"Trying to find a way out," Roy replied a little irritated, but keeping his cool composure. _Remember to kill that cat later. She needs to live up to her name, and burn in hell._

"Hm?" both Reina and Kenny had questionable looks on their faces. Sayo, Tommy, and Blare didn't show any emotion. They didn't want to military dogs to kill them over a dirty glance, but they were just as questionable, if not more then Kenny and Reina.

"Why didn't you just climb out?" Kenny asked as he walked over next Reina and stared down at Roy.

"What do you mean?" Roy asked, his face becoming very interested.

"There's a set of stairs right over there," Kenny said as he got down on his knees and pointed at an angle that Roy could see. Sure enough, on the other end of the room, in the same stop the other stairs were, sat a flight of stairs that led up to the first floor.

Roy then glared at Dino and Big Red, Riza looked over at Jazz. "Why didn't you tell us those where there?" they both asked in unison.

"Uh…" the two men replied, Jazz just stared at Riza, trying to come up with something.

"I didn't know those stairs were there," Jazz replied. Which was true, she didn't know they were there. She didn't even know there was a basement. The only reason she faltered for a moment was she didn't want to sound really stupid when she told them she had never thought of that. _Oh well, they say telling the truth is the best._

"I see," Riza replied, not too sure if she should believe the small girl or not.

"We didn't know they where there either!" Big Red and Dino yelled.

Roy just sighed a little, got up, dusted himself off, and headed toward the stairs. Dino and Red followed right behind him.

After a few seconds a few noises were heard coming from the end of the room. Riza and the kids glanced over at the other end of the room. A small door opened and Roy's head popped out.

"Oooooooooohhhhhhh…." Jazz said as Roy climbed out. "That's why I didn't know there was a basement. The stairs were under a door in the floor."

Riza just gave a small sigh and walked over to Roy, "Are you alright, sir?" she asked.

"Yeah," Roy replied as he returned her glance with a smile. Then he looked over at the kids. "So who are you?" Roy asked. _Damn, more little brats._

"I'm Reina!" the pigtailed girl shouted and laughed happily as she jumped up and down then dashed over to Roy. Her small stick like arms wrapped around Roy's left leg. She hugged and nuzzled him. "You're cute," she said as she stopped nuzzling and look up at the Lieutenant Colonel, a huge smile on her face.

"Uh…" Roy replied, unsure of what to do. Red and Dino snuck out from behind him, and took off running, scrambling out the door and out of anymore possible harm. "Thank God," Roy mumbled to himself when he saw the bumbling idiots were gone.

"No, Reina!" Jazz snapped. "You can't have him! He's the daddy!"

"What?" Roy asked confused.

Riza's body tensed with rage, "I'm….not…" she replied gritting her teeth, but quickly stopped ands swallowed her words, along with her hormones.

Roy stared for a few moments, in front of him stood three girls. One was clinging to his leg, one snapping at her for it, and a bigger one standing to the side trying to hold back some serious daddy issues. What was the worst part? He didn't understand any of it! _I'm swimming in the estrogen ocean._ He thought as he stared at the three women.

"Mwuuuuuu…." a deep gruff sound was heard.

There was a pause in the room for a moment. Everything that had just been going on stopped.

Roy glanced around for a moment. He could have sworn he heard it, but there was nothing in sight. He continued to look around. "Was that a sick cow?" he asked, more confused then ever. Things just got weirder and weirder.


	29. A Light in the Darkness Isn’t Always a G

AN: Sugar High: Yeah, most people like it when I talk back to them, but most of the time I can't. I did that before on this story before it got deleted. I talked back to everyone and was deleted for too many author notes XD. So yeah, I really can't talk to anyone anymore. I only do if it's really needed or something. It's ok, lots of people I talk to on here have freaky-outy parents.

charriXD: Yeah, they pretty much are capris. The only reason I didn't put it like that is because some people last time chewed me out because they don't think they had capris back in that time. So just to be safe I described them like that.

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 29: A Light in the Darkness Isn't Always a Good Thing

"Mwuuuuu…." a deep gruff sound was heard.

There was a pause in the room for a moment. Everything that had just been going on stopped.

Roy glanced around for a moment. He could have sworn he heard it, but there was nothing in sight. He continued to look around. "Was that a sick cow?" he asked, more confused then ever. Things just got weirder and weirder.

"A cow?" Kenny asked confused, "Where?" he said and began looking around as well.

"What's a cow?" Blare asked. He'd lived in this dump of a place his whole life, and had never seen anything but what ran around the old wooden buildings.

"You're such a dork," Reina replied with a smile as she turned back to Blare, who was still hiding behind his big brother, Tommy. "Cows are big fat animals that say 'moo' they eat grass all day long, are totally stupid, and we get milk from them."

"Oh," the small boy replied with a shy look on his face.

"That's a mean thing to say," Kenny retorted. "They can't help it, and I bet you're stupider then any cow. You're uglier then one."

"Mmmmnnnnmm" Reina said as she stuck her tongue out at Kenny. "I'm the most beautiful person ever... a little princess… no.. an angel!"

"Well then I'll get you with my devil powers!" Kenny retorted, playing of course, he has no evil powers.

Reina smirked, "How can you have the devil's powers if I'm the devil's wife?"

Jazz glanced up at Riza and saw an annoyed expression on her face. _Huh-oh… I better stop this before she does…_ She thought when she remember Riza's gun.

"HEY GUYS!" she blurted out.

"Hmm?" Kenny and Reina both looked at her.

"Uhhh……" Jazz tried to think of something. _I got it!_ She thought proudly and held one finger up like a teacher about to give a lecture. "Did you know two plus two equals orange fish?"

"…"

"So what is it then?" Tommy asked breaking the silence and changing the subject back to the noise. Reina, Roy, Riza, and Kenny stared back at him. They didn't know what to say.

"Uh…" Reina tried to think of something. "A…sick…cow…"

"Hey, you just said it wasn't!" Blare snapped as little kids often do. He was getting a little braver and stepped out from behind Tommy.

"Mwuuuu! Mwwwwuuuuuuu! MWWWWWWWUUUUUU!" the strange noise continued. It got louder and more impatient. Whatever was making this sound was truly in distress.

Sayo stood in silence, listening to the noise. She looked around for where it could be coming from. The expression on her face said she wanted to say something, but her weak nerves wouldn't let her say it, so she stood quietly, a distressed look on her face. _That's not a cow, that's Kiro._

"Eh…" Roy and Riza just looked at each other confused. They weren't sure what to make of all these kids, or this predicament.

"What's you name?" Reina asked as she looked up at Roy, hugging his leg once again. Roy couldn't see it in the dark, but there was a huge smile on her face, eagerly awaiting for her knight in shining armor to respond.

"Daddy according to her," Roy said as he glanced at Jazz. She giggled a little and smiled.

"Daddy? That's your name?" Reina asked a little confused. "Your parents must have been pretty dull. Or they had high expectations for you," she said. The thought of Roy having kids when he was a little kid made her giggle, as well as gave her ideas for their marriage together.

"So… you want us to call you daddy?" Kenny asked.

"Lieutenant Colonel…" Riza mumbled angrily. Her muscles tensed once again, her jaws clenching. The whole pregnant thing really got to her. As her body tensed tighter and tighter she pulled her gun from its holster. Her body shook with rage as she aimed at Roy. "Tell them your name… sir. I will not hear 'daddy, daddy, daddy' this whole trip…."

"Eh…" Roy replied with a nervous smile.

"Um?" Kenny asked as he stared at Roy. His face was confused.

Roy smirked, "Just call me master."

"Uh?" all the kids looked at him confused, all except Reina that is.

"Ok Master! I'll follow you wherever you go, Master!"

An annoyed expression appeared on Riza's face as she put her gun away. "Just call him, Mister."

Roy glanced over at Riza. He remembered the moody thing and decided not to make her angrier. "Yeah, that works, too."

"Mister….?" Tommy replied. "You sound like preacher…"

They all stared at Tommy, confused expressions on their faces. "Where did that come from?" Reina asked.

"Uh…." Tommy began to reply, he made a grunting noise that kind of sounded like 'I don't know'.

"Hm?" Riza and Roy stared at the strange little boy. Riza flinched a little, but not much, then folded her arms low over her stomach. She began rubbing her sore abdomen with her hand. Her folded arms shielded the movement so Roy wouldn't notice her rubbing it. _Cramps…_ She cursed under her breath.

"Ok, that's just Tommy," Kenny said as he looked up and Roy and Riza again. "He grunted to show he didn't know."

"Oh…" Roy replied, unsure of what to say. He wasn't an expert at speaking on a child's level.

"Hey!" Jazz said excitedly as she turned to Kenny with a smile. Kiari sleeping in her warm arms, "That rhymed!"

Roy and Riza just glanced at each other. _What have we gotten ourselves into?_

"Mwwwuuuu!" the strange noise was heard again.

"What is that?" Roy asked as he looked around again. He was dumbfounded.

Sayo just stared at the ground. She was so quiet they had almost forgotten she was there. _Something is wrong._

"I don't know," Tommy replied, "But it's getting annoying."

Mwwwwwwwwwuuuuuuuuu!" the noise was heard again.

Sayo couldn't keep quiet anymore. Her 'baby' was in trouble. She snapped up suddenly, tears in her lime green eyes. "That's not a cow! Or annoying! That Kiro! She's in trouble!"

"What's a Kiro?" Roy looked at the little girl confused.

"She's… she's my cat…" Sayo replied as a few tears fell to the ground. Her voice slurred and muffled as she cried. "I hav-avn't seen her in tw..o..o days… and she's in tro-ouble…" she said talking though her sobs. She could only imagine why her poor Kiro was crying out.

"Awwww… It's ok, Sayo. We'll find her," Jazz said as she walked over to Sayo with a comforting smile.

Riza's body suddenly snapped into a motherly mode. She walked over to Sayo and knelt down in front of her. Sayo couldn't see in the dark, but Riza's amber eyes were gentle and kind. "It's ok, we'll find her."

"Mwwuuu!" the noise was heard again.

Roy glanced around, trying to see where the sound was coming from. When he pinpointed a direction he headed that way, leaving Riza with the kids.

"Mwu!"

_Ah…_ Roy thought to himself. "There you are." He said as he walked, his boots making the floor crack as his weight came down on them. The weak planks snapped a little, but didn't give way. He stopped a few moments later as a dumbfounded expression appeared on his face. _Why does my leg feel so heavy? _He wondered then he glanced down. "Oh… that's why…"

"Hehe," Reina said with a big grin, her dark brown eyes not leaving Roy's perfect face.

Roy sighed a little as he stared down at her. "Can you get off me, please?" he asked. He wasn't really sure how to talk to a ten year old that loved him. He thought maybe being polite would help.

"Why?" she asked still grinning.

"Because… it's hard to walk with you clinging like that," Roy replied.

"I'm not clinging," Reina replied, "I'm hugging!" she said happily as she pressed her face in the navy blue fabric, rubbing her skin on the material.

"Uh-huh…" Roy replied as he stared down at her, one eyebrow raised. "Well I need you to stop hugging for a minute," he said as he leaned over a little and grabbed one of Reina's arms. He began gently pulling on her, trying to loosen the tight grip she had.

"Mwuuu…"

"What are you doing?" she asked as she looked from his face to his hand, which was clasped around her upper arm. Her face lit up as an idea popped into her head. "Do you want to hold hands?" she squealed with delight.

"Uh…. that wasn't exactly wh-" Roy was cut off before he was even finished speaking. The gitty little girl released Roy's leg and now had is hand hostage.

"Your hands feel weird…" she said as she rubbed her fingers on the white fabric of Roy's glove. Her face had a confused yet interested expression on it as she moved her fingers back and forth across Roy's palm. She couldn't see in the dark that it was in fact material she was touching. She turned Roy's hand over and saw something that looked like a circle. "Is that a tattoo?" she asked with an excited shout.

"No!" Roy snapped back and pulled his hand away. _Me with a tattoo, parish the thought. How could I ever scar this perfect skin with something like a tattoo?_ He thought to himself as he regained his composer and began walking away.

Reina looked after him a little confused. _If it wasn't a tattoo what was it? Maybe he's some alien monster and that's a secret weapon, or a way to commutate with his home planet! I wonder if there's more? Maybe he has them in some 'secret' places. I must find out! _She decided then looked toward Roy again. He was in the back of the room, pulling some of the wood off a covered window.

"Mwwwuuuu!" the noise became louder and clearer the closer Roy got to the outside.

_It's coming from outside._ Roy said to himself as he pulled the last plank off, and then proceeded to climb out the window.

"Uh!" Reina's face was overcome with shock when she saw her husband-to-be trying to escape. "Come back, Master!" she bellowed as she ran after him.

"Hey, lady?" Blare asked as Riza wiped some tears off Sayo's red cheeks. "Where'd your friend go?"

Riza looked up at him questionably. Then she looked around the room. She couldn't see Roy anywhere, but that could just be due to the dark.

"Reina's gone, too," Kenny added as he and Tommy walked over to the Lieutenant.

An annoyed expression appeared on Riza's face.

"Don't worry," Jazz said with a smile. "Reina is with him. He'll be ok."

"Uh… right…" Riza replied with an unsure tone of voice. _Knowing the Lieutenant Colonel… he's bound to get into trouble sometime._

"What are you doing?" Reina asked as she ran after Roy. She had just jumped out of the window and was now chasing him down the street. He was walking at a very fast pace.

"Looking for that… Kiro thing," Roy replied as he followed the loud 'mwu' sounds.

"She's a cat, Sayo's cat," Reina replied as she walked just a foot or two behind Roy. He didn't see it, but she didn't take her dark eyes off him for a second. She was embedding every single one of his perfect features into her brain.

"Mwwwuuuu!"

"It's close," Roy said as he listened sharply. His military training was coming in very useful right now. His ears were trained to pick up even the smallest of noises. He needed this skill to catch a hint of an imposing enemy out on the field.

"She's not that far then, is she?" Reina replied with a smile. She tuned around, the window they had climbed out of was just a few hundred feet away.

"Can cats even meow that loud?" Roy asked.

"Kiro can! She can do it even louder when she's in heat!" Reina replied with an excited voice.

"Great…" Roy grumbled. _Yet another reason to hate cats, they are loud and obnoxious and expect you to be their slave. They only come around when it's dinner time. Who would pick at cat over a dog? Dogs are great, little human slaves, the best creatures alive. _

"Mwwwuuuu!" the sound was coming just to the left of them.

"She's right around here somewhere," Reina said as she listened. She looked around a bit, expecting Kiro to come bounding into her arms.

Roy's hearing was more precise and accurate then hers. He quickly found the spot. It was to the left of them. There was a building there, large boards and other building supplies leaned against the old wooden wall.

"Mwuuu! Mwuuu!" they heard the cat call out again. Roy could hear the excitement in the cat's voice. Apparently Kiro could hear them just a few feet away from her. It brought her new hope that she would be rescued.

Roy walked over to the wood pile. He knelt down beside it and began moving some of the planks. He pushed the leaning scraps away from the wall. "Huh?" under the wood lay a cat. It wasn't clearly visible in the dark night, but he could tell it was white, it had light brown tips on its ears, and he thought he saw one on its tail. She wasn't small like a kitten, but you could clearly see she hadn't blossomed into a full adult. She glanced up at Roy. Her eyes a dark ruby-red color.

"Kiro!" Reina shouted happily as she ran up beside Roy and knelt next to him. "Come here, girl!" she said with a big smile and open arms.

"Mwuuu…" the cat just stared back at her. She blinked once, her red eyes flashing as they reopened and the moonlight shining in the cracks of the wood bounced off them.

"What's wrong?" Reina asked somewhat disappointedly.

Kiro began biting at her white paws. She growled and struggled to stand, failing miserably.

Roy squinted his dark eyes as he tried to catch a glimpse of Kiro's feet. "Oh," he said once he found out what was wrong.

"What is it? Is she hurt?" Reina asked. Her was voice somewhat soft and full of concern.

"No," Roy replied as he stared down at the white cat. "Here, hold this up," he said as he motioned with his head for Reina to hold the board up and away from the wall.

"Ok!" Reina replied as she got up from her squatting position, and raced around Roy to the boards. She stood dead center in front of the old rotting planks. "Like this?" she asked as she took a hold of the boards, one hand on each side, the pulled back slowly. The weight began lifting away from Roy's palms as she pulled the wood toward her.

Roy nodded then glanced down at Kiro again. On her white legs he saw an old dirty brown rope. She had somehow managed to get all four legs hopelessly tangled in the rope that seemed to be never-ending. "Take it easy," he began, but finished his sentence in his mind. _You little creature from hell._

"Is she ok?" Reina asked again as Roy worked.

"Yeah, just…" Roy began as he fought with the rope, "…tangled…" The rope was thick, like your average rope. But it seemed almost like a fishing net. It never ended and you couldn't find any ends on it to start untangling it. He had to just grab here and there and try to untangle the cat's feet. "Stupid thing…" the military dog muttered to himself as he bent over and grabbed a piece of the rope between his jaws. He pulled on it hard, ripping it with his purely whites.

"Mwwwwuuuuu!" Kiro said as she watched Roy's…. interesting work. If cats could laugh or grin you could bet she'd be laughing at Roy's pathetic attempts to free her right about now.

"Oh shut up…" Roy grumbled as he glanced at the cat's expression.

"Are you done yet?" Reina asked a few moments later. Her arms were getting tired and she was getting bored.

"Almost," he replied. He was working on Kiro's last paw now. It was her back left leg. He only had a little ways left to go. At this point Kiro could free herself, but Roy wanted to finish what he started.

"I wonder where that guy got off to?" they heard a male voice walking toward the area.

"I dunno, he just disappeared," another voice replied. Reina couldn't hear how close they were because of the soft sand, but the sound their voices said they were dangerously close.

"Hurry up!" Reina snapped in a whisper like yell.

"Why?" Roy asked as he glanced up at her. His mind had been set on the rope and he hadn't caught the men's voices.

"They're coming!" Reina said. Her face terrified. She didn't mean too, but she yelled it out. The gangsters in the area weren't that nice to the orphans. They often beat them up and stole what little food they found, making the orphans terrified of them.

"Did you hear that?" one of the voices perked up.

"Someone's over here!" another voice yelled.

"Oh no!" Reina said. "Come on, we have to go!" she said as she dropped the board and grabbed Roy's arm. She pulled hard, forcing him to hurry along. But their hast wasn't fast enough.

"I see them!" they heard a voice shout. "It's that guy and a kid!"

Reina froze with fear. Roy just glared. The window was just a few hundred feet away. They had to get there somehow Roy had to warn Riza that the men were here and to save the kids. He glanced down at Reina. Her small body shook with fear as she stared. He then looked up in the direction she was staring in. Three gangsters were headed their way. They were all men; all of them were dressed in tight black leather. Black leather pants hugged their legs tightly; black t-shirts and leather jackets covered their upper bodies. They wore black cowboy like boots. One man had a red bandana or 'do rag' as some people called it on his head. He was the youngest of the group, he was tall and thin, his hair hidden by the red bandana on his head. The second guy was older, he wasn't so short, but was very fat. He had a long grayish white beard that traveled down to the middle of his chest. His hair was cut short, but there was a small ponytail in the back, it had several small black ponytail holders tailing all the way down, to keep his hair together instead of blowing around wildly in the wind. The last guy had the same build as the first, only a lot more muscle. His hair was long and black, pulled into a ponytail.

_We have to get out of here. _Roy thought to himself. The three men stood in front of them, blocking them from a straight forward escape. Roy glanced over and the window again, then down at Reina. In the blink of an eye he scooped her up in his arms and darted for the window.

"Not so fast, pretty boy!" the oldest gangster called out and grabbed for his holster. He quickly pulled out a black pistol.

_Bang!_

The sound of a gunshot cut through the crisp night air. Roy stopped dead in his tracks. They'd shoot him if he tried again. _Damn, what do I do now? I hope Hawkeye didn't hear that. She'll walk out here unexpectedly and get shot._ Roy thought gritting his teeth. He slowly put Reina down.

"Eh!" Reina cried as she ran behind Roy's leg and clenched the blue material in her fists. She clung to him for dear life as her small form stood behind him, shaking uncontrollably. She was too scared to even cry.

"Where do you think you're going?" the younger gangster asked with a smirk. "You don't want to leave before the party even starts, do you?" he asked as he pulled a large knife out from the holster strapped to the lower part of his leg.

Roy clenched his jaws with rage. A little growl escaped his lips as the moonlight bounced off the large blade and made it shine with a deadly glow. The man lifted the knife up to his face and ran his tongue along the dull edge of the blade. The wind began to howl and the buildings cracked as Roy looked on for a moment to make his move. _If only he wasn't about to shoot me, I could have used my alchemy on them along time ago. Why did they have to make bullets faster them flames?_

AN: So what did you think? This is where the serious fight scenes begin! Does the title make sense now? I was referring to the glow made from the blade. Hope that didn't come on too fast. I didn't really want to string it out too long. Is it leaving you dying and wanting more? Lol, what will happen next I wonder?


	30. Eyes Like a Flame

AN: Hi, Hi! 314 reviews! Dies. Thank you! I love you all! (not in a gay way again)

Ok, last time I did this there were so many new characters everyone got confused. This is just to help you a lil' bit. There are 3 gangsters right now, Ice, Vis, and Jackal. Their body types are different which should help you a little bit. Ice is the youngest one, kinda scrawny. His weapon is a knife. The oldest and fattest of this lil' group is Vis. Yes, he's old and heavy-set. His weapon is a gun and he gets angered easily. Last is Jackal. He is about Roy's age and very muscular. He's the guy with the long dark ponytail. He has no weapon, fights with his fists. Out of the 3 the only one you really need to remember is Jackal. The other 2 are just there because it makes the story seem a little more realistic. There are more characters at the end of the chapter, but I think you should be able to keep them straight if you can remember these 3. If you're having trouble, tell me and I'll explain ways to remember them in the next chapter.

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 30: Eyes Like a Flame

"Wanna play?" the more muscular of the three man asked with a smirk. He took a few steps toward Roy, and began cracking his knuckles, an evil grin on his face.

Roy's jaws began to ache as they continued to clench. He squinted his eyes, straining them to try and see if this man had a weapon. _Ok… He thought to himself. The younger one has a big knife; the old one has a gun. What does this one have? I can't see any type of weapon on him. _

"Heh…" the man smirked.

"What d-do we d-o, Master?" Reina asked as she looked up at Roy. Her words slurred as she tried to speak with frozen vocal cords. Roy glanced down at her for a moment, her dark brown eyes were full of tears, but too afraid to let them fall.

Roy didn't know what to say. He was about to look back to the gangsters when Kiro interrupted.

"Mwuu!" Kiro meowed as she took off out from under the boards. She had managed to get the rest of her paw untangled and her white body was now scampering through the sand.

"Stupid cat!" the old heavy-set man said as he pointed his gun at Kiro, who was headed toward Roy.

"Hey!" Jackal, the muscular gangster snapped. "Don't waste your bullets on a cat, Vis!" (Like I said, I'm horrible at making up nicknames.)

"Yeah, those are hard to steal. The only place we can get them from is the police station. We lose men trying to get ammunition from there all that time!" the young gangster added. He was about 20 or so. I can't say he was a high ranking gangster, but he wasn't to be underestimated. He was known as Ice.

"Shut up, Jackal!" the old man snapped at the muscular man with long dark hair as he lowered his weapon.

The wind blew hard again, the buildings cracked and the clouds began to roll in, making everything darker as they blocked out the moonlight. Reina shivered a little from the chilly air. She was cold, but she didn't focus on that. All she cared about was what was going to happen to them.

Roy still stared, waiting for the perfect moment. It looked like it would come at any moment. If he and Reina were quiet enough, then the men's attention would be taken off them, giving them a split second chance to escape. But to where?

"Mwuuuuu!" Kiro cried as she slipped a little in the sand.

_Stupid cat, be quiet!_ Roy sneered as he glanced down at Kiro, then back up at the gangsters. Once he saw they hadn't noticed he looked back at the cat. She had run right to them, but instead of jumping in Reina's arms, she jumped up and squeezed through a little hole made by boards improperly fitted together over a window. Roy calculated this in his mind for a moment. He looked over to the right of them and saw that the window they needed to get to was in the building next to the one they were currently in front of, and the window Kiro had crawled in was only a few feet behind them. _I think I found a way out. _He smirked. He looked back to the quarreling men again.

"It's not my fault we always get caught at the station!" Vis snapped. His silver hair shined in the moonlight when he jerked his head as he yelled.

"But you're the one who's wasting all the bullets!" Jackal retorted in a harsh yet serious tone. The three men were clearly loosing their patience with each other.

Roy smirked again when he saw how they were getting into a quarrel. _Idiots…_

"Master?" Reina asked in a confused tone. "Why are w-we just standing h-here?"

"We're not!" Roy replied as he quickly reached down and put his arm around Reina's waist, lifting her off the ground. Her body fell forward in Roy's grasp and turned from an upright position to a position on her stomach.

"Ah!" Reina screeched in surprise as Roy held her. Her body was now set in a way that could be best described as lying on her stomach, in mid air. (Sorry, dunno how to explain this.) Her face was still facing the men, her lower chest and part of her stomach rested on Roy's arm, while her right side was pressed against his hip, helping to support some of her weight.

"Hey!" Ice snapped as he caught their movements out of the corner of his eye. Vis raised his gun viscously.

Roy jumped back fast. He used all the strength in his legs to push them backwards. His dark eyes stayed dead set on Vis. Once he saw the older man about to pull the trigger he quickly reached out with his free arm and snapped his fingers hard. A giant flame appeared, the blast sounded like an explosion. It gave them the boost they needed to break through the boards. Roy flinched a little as his back hit the wood hard. The wood exploded as his body broke the boards and went through the window.

"What the!" Jackal shouted when he saw flames coming toward him at a rapid pace. He and quickly ducked out of the way. He jumped far to the right, his arms shielding his face from the blaze.

The area lit up with a reddish-orange glow, smoke appeared as the fire consumed the wooden frame the military dog had just broken through. The area was immediately filled with an intense heat that radiated out through the street.

"Hm?" Riza's gaze was quickly taken to the wall to her left as the loud noise caused a sharp pain to shoot though her aching head. She showed no hint of pain and quickly shook it off as her attention remind on the wall, wondering what was going on next door. Out of the corner of her eye she saw something. Her eyes quickly darted to the back of the building. She saw the flickers of a red and orange light coming though the small cracks in the wooden planks covering the windows.

"Look out!" they heard Ice and Vis shout as the men quickly ducked out of the way as well. They ran away from the window and once at a safe distance, turned around trying to figure out what happened.

Jackal sneered as his face glowed from the flames. _Don't think you got away, pretty boy. I'll get you, you just wait._ His eyes flickered with hate along with the flames. You could now see his eyes were a very dark shade of gray, his black ponytail swayed back at forth as it was picked up by the breeze. He spat and took off running toward the other end of the building. "Hey!" he shouted to Ice and Vis as he ran passed them. "I'm going around front. Hurry and get Grimm! Meet me in front in about two minutes!"

"Right!" the both replied and dashed off down the sandy street in the opposite direction.

Roy was lying on the floor, images of what had just happened raced through his mind as his back ached and stung from the fall. Just before they hit the ground, Roy grabbed Reina with his other hand. He pulled her small body on his chest, protecting her from the small, yet painful, fall. His back hit the dirty wooden floor hard with a thud. The floor cracked under his weight, but luckily didn't give way. He came back to reality as his dark eyes opened and he looked up at the window, which was flaming.

His as well as Reina's eyes flicked and their faces glowed with a hint of orange as the flames lit up the area, making their bodies visible in the dark, and warming the cold dark room.

"Whoa!" Reina screamed excitedly as she got up off Roy. Her dark brown pigtails were soiled with wood shavings. She quickly stood up, eyes wide and full of awe as she saw the area where the men stood being engulfed in hot red flames. _He really is an alien. He has to be. How else could he do that? _She wondered as she watched the flames eat away at the wooden frame.

The wooden building began to crack and moan as the wind and flames attacked it. The cracking got louder as some of the wooden ceiling began to fall around them.

_It's going to collapse!_ Roy's mind told him as he glanced up at the dying roof. He quickly recovered from his aching back. "Come on!" he shouted as he scrambled up, his boots sliding on the wood shavings on the floor. He quickly grabbed Reina again, and took off toward the front door, dodging the falling planks along the way.

"What was that?" Tommy asked as his blond head popped up and looked around.

"It sounded like an explosion," Kenny replied, his dark golden eyes looking around, "And it was close, too."

"I wonder what it was?" Jazz asked as she got up from her squatting position beside Riza, and walked to the left, in the direction they heard the loud noise.

Riza's face became very serious. She looked in the direction of the loud explosion. _What have you done now, sir? _She wondered as she stood up. Her hand placed steadily on her holster. Her amber eyes fixed on the room, darting here and there, looking for any hint of life. She knew something was about to happen, and wanted to be ready for anything that came their way.

"Is something wrong?" Jazz asked as she looked back at Riza.

"Where are we going?" Reina asked as Roy pulled her along, his hand clasped around her skinny arm.

"To warn Hawkeye!" Roy replied as they shot out of the building and made a sharp right turn, almost slipping in the sand as they turned.

_Who's Hawkeye?_ Reina wondered as she ran. It seemed like in the blink of an eye they were back to the building Riza and the kids were in.

Roy quickly pulled Reina in the building and headed for the back, the spot he had left Riza. _So that's where you've been hiding_. Jackal smirked. He was hidden safely in the shadows across the street. He knew Roy couldn't stay in a burning building for long, and waited just outside to see where he was planning to go.

"Lieutenant!" Roy shouted as he raced through the building, almost tripping a few times and his boots fell through and lodged in the wooden planks. "Second Lieutenant Hawkeye!"

"Sir!" he heard Riza shout and then the sound of Riza's boots, along with the sound of little bare feet pounding on the wood were heard coming in their direction.

When he heard her reply, Roy stopped and put his hands on his knees, gasping for breath. He hadn't run that far, but the whole ordeal took a lot out of him. He just needed one minute to regain himself.

"Lieutenant Colonel!" Riza shouted and ran to his side, knelling next to him so she was eyelevel with him. Seeing him so out of breath made her worry. She quickly began scanning his body for wounds.

"I'm fine," Roy replied as he stood up straight. "I just needed a minute," he said as he looked down at her. He couldn't see it in the dark, but there was great relief in Riza's amber eyes.

_Thank goodness._ She thought as she stared back up at him.

"It's really hot in here," Jazz complained with a whine as she grabbed her tan shirt collar and pulled it away from her dark bruised skin, trying to let some of the trapped heat escape. The heat from the flames was still spreading throughout the area, and was getting even more intense and the fire grew and overtook more of the building.

"Hey Mister," Blare said as he walked up to Roy. His head bent his head upwards, trying to look into Roy's face. The difference in their height was almost amazing.

"Hm?" Roy glanced down at the small blond-haired, brown eyed boy. His body seemed to disappear as his dark brown shirt and dark blue pants blended in with the atmosphere.

"What happened?" the small boy asked somewhat shyly.

"Uh… we-" Roy was just about to reply when a very loud sound was heard coming from the building next to them.

_Crreeaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk!_

The building cracked and creaked very loudly as it became engulfed in flames. Its whole structure was being eaten away. You could see the dark smoke lifting into the air from miles away. The air was filled with a heavy scent of burning wood and ash.

C_rashhhhhhh! _A loud explosion-like noise was heard as the building collapsed in on itself. As if fell through and hit the ground flames came shooting out of the pile of planks and wooden scraps, causing the windows in their building to explode and intense heat to rush in.

"AHHHHHHH!" all the kids screamed and ran to Roy and Riza, clinging to their uniforms and crying as the flames shot through the window frames. This made their building catch on fire. Luckily it was far enough away that they didn't need to worry about it… yet.

"AHHHH!" Jazz cried out in fear. She dropped Kiari and clung to Riza, grasping her pant leg tightly and burying her face in the blue material.

"NYA!" Kiari cried as she twisted her body to land on her black feet, she quickly scampered away.

"It's ok, kids," Riza replied as she bent down and put her arms around Jazz, Sayo, and Tommy. The fire couldn't reach them from where they were, but the heat sure could.

"Mwuuu!" Kiro cried as she raced passed them and in the same direction Kiari had taken off in.

"Kiro!" Sayo shouted, but was too scared to chase after her beloved pet.

Roy remained standing. He sneered as the loud roaring of the dying building continued. One of his arms was in front of his face, shielding him from the heat as engulfed him. Reina, Blare, and Kenny clung to his legs and cried into the blue fabric. Roy didn't seem to notice, either that or he didn't care. He sneered again. _That's not good, now the whole group of them is going to know we're around here._

"Jackal!" a young feminine voice was heard coming from a nearby alley.

Jackal turned to look behind him. There were several black figures running toward him. The leader of the lot was a woman. She was young about 15 or so. She had long black hair pulled back into a ponytail and red eyes. She wore black leather, which appeared to be the only expectable attire in this place. Several small silver chains hung from her thin waist, attached to the dark belt loops in her waistband. Her leather jacket had the arms cut off of it, leaving her pale skin even paler and more visible in the moonlit night, the jacket was also too short for her, it fit tight around her frame and left a few inches of her mid-drift showing.

"Did you find them?" she asked as she ran to his side. Ice was right behind her along with another man.

"Yeah, where's Grimm?" Jackal replied.

"Vis went to find her and her father. They'll be here soon," Ice replied.

"Good," Jackal said as he looked back to the building that Roy was taking shelter in.

"Do you think we can take them?" the girl asked. Her name was Rosie, but she went by Hell's Fire. She was Grimm's little sister, and Grimm was one of the best fighters, ok the best, in the whole gang. She trains a lot with her big sister, so you can bet she's good.

"I don't know," Jackal replied. He glared evilly at the building. "He's got some kind of special power. He made flames appear out of no where."

Hell's Fire then looked at the fallen burning building. "Did he do all that?" she asked in surprise and awe.

"Yeah," Ice replied.

"Heh," she smirked. "Then why don't we throw a little dirt on those flames?"

"Hmmm?" Jackal, Ice, and the third man stared at her; confused expressions replaced the fierce ones.

"You want to make them bigger?" the third man asked. He was a skinny man, by no means muscular. He had short brown hair and blue eyes.

Hell's Fire sighed, "No you idiot. I meant; I wanted to fire the man up even more. I want to see what he can really do," she said as she started toward the building.

"Wait," Ice said grabbing her arm, "We should wait for Grimm." Now don't let this fool you. The gangsters followed their one and only leader, and it wasn't Grimm. The leader goes by Lex, and Grimm was his oldest daughter. She'll take Lex's place when he falls. Since Grimm is the best fighter, the successor to her father, they would prefer it if she was there when things stared to get heated.

"Don't worry," Hell's Fire looked back at them with a smile. "We won't go too far. My sister will be here soon. She won't mind if we start without her. If anything, she'll be glad that he's ready to fight when she gets here, instead of having to wait for him to warm up," she said as she walked away, releasing herself from Ice's grasp.

Jackal smirked. He loved fighting. He followed Hell's Fire out into the open street. The fire was still burning strong. The third man covered his eyes and nose with his arm, trying to block out the smoke that made his eye burn and water. Ice was right behind him. Hell's Fire walked casually toward the building, the smoke not even fazing her. Her already red eyes flashed a deadly glow of crimson as the fire made them flicker.

"Don't you just love fire?" She asked. Her eyes full of passion and excitement as she stared into the flames, an evil smile on her face, "It's so beautiful, yet it can kill you at the merest whim. You can't even touch the beauty, if you reach out at it with desire. You'll just get burned." she said seductively as she looked back at her comrades.

"It sounds just like you," Ice said.

"Yes," she replied coldly. "Now, how about we go give our new friends a hell fired welcome?"

Jackal smirked again. Hell's Fire looked incredible standing in front of the flames. Her body shimmered and glowed as the flames lit up every one of her features. Her eyes glowed with as much hate and rage as the burning flames, like they had the same soul. "Sure, I'm up for a warm welcome."

"Good," she replied as she turned and headed for the building.

"Are you alright, sir?" Riza asked after she calmed the kids down. She stood up straight to look at her superior.

Roy just nodded in reply.

"Well, well, well, what do you have here?" they heard a female voice coming toward them.

The military dogs turned quickly to the door. Hell's Fire had just walked in, followed by her men. It was awfully blunt for then to just walk casually in like that.

Riza studied the young girl for a moment, and then glanced over at Roy, an unsure look on her face. She wanted to see what his reaction was like.

Roy just sneered. _Them again, and they have someone new with them._

"Who would have thought our new intruders would be dogs of the military?" Hell's Fire said with confidence in her voice, and on her face. The teenage girl stopped 20 or 30 feet in front of them. "I hope the fire gave you a warm welcome," she said with a smile. She then laid a hand on her hip, her chain flashed as the flames bounced off the small silver links. "What's the matter, big man?" she asked when she saw the sneer on Roy's face. "Not hot enough for you? I can heat things up if you want." _He's pretty cute._ She thought with a smirk as she pulled out black bullwhip, it had been previously folded and tied to the belt loop in the back of her black leather pants. The whip was long and made of very fine leather. She smacked it on the ground in front of Roy. It made a cracking noise as it hit the wooden floor.


	31. Through the Wind and the Rain She Stands

AN: Ok, now some of my readers e-mailed me and said they couldn't keep the kids straight. So I guess I'll tell you them too.

First you met Jazz. She's the lil' 5 year old girl with long messy black hair and brown eyes. She has a tan dress that goes down to her knees. She doesn't wear and shoes and has tanned bruised skin. You'll find out why later…

Next is Reina. She's 10 and Jazz's best friend. She loves Roy (if you can't tell) and has dark brown hair pulled into two pigtails and dark brown eyes. She wears a faded red shirt that's way to big for her, and brown shorts. None of the kids wear shoes, they are poor orphans.

The last girl is Sayo. She's 7 years old. She has long black hair pulled back into a ponytail and lime green eyes. She wears a black shirt and black capris for pants. Riza claims she has seem the girl, or at least her eyes, somewhere before, but we'll get into all that later.

There are 3 boys in the group, Kenny, Tommy, and Blare. Kenny is, like Reina, the leader of the group. He's 8 years old, the second oldest in the group. He has short messy hair, light brown or cinnamon in color, and golden eyes. He wears a dirty white tank top and baggy black pants.

Tommy and Blare are brothers, much like Ed and Al they are only one year apart in age. Tommy is 6 and Blare is 5. They both look very similar, and have blond hair and brown eyes. The way to tell them apart is by their height and clothes. Tommy, being older, is a little taller then Blare. He wears a dark blue shirt while Blare wears a brown one, and they both wear blue pants.

I hope that helped you some!

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 31: Through the Wind and the Rain She Stands Hard as a Stone

Riza looked back at Roy again. "What do you want to do, Lieutenant Colonel, sir?" she asked.

_Lieutenant Colonel?_ Hell's Fire smirked. _He's cute, and he has a title. _

"Uh…." Kenny said as he clung to Roy's leg. "What do we do now?" he asked in a quiet voice as he glanced back at the gangsters, his golden eyes full of tears.

Roy sneered. He knew a battle was going to take place any minute.

"Heh," Hell's Fire smirked again. They stood silently for a moment, just waiting to see what the other was going to do. Hell's Fire was the only one who knew exactly what was going to happen. "GO!" she shouted as she jumped to the side. Her red eyes flashed as she looked back at the battle scene.

The quiet night was suddenly filled with the sound of blasting gunfire as the three men quickly opened fire on the dogs and orphans.

"Eh!" Riza reacted instantly. She grabbed Sayo and Tommy in each arm, jumping to the left and out of harm. Jazz quickly dashed in the opposite direction. She ran as fast as she could, and hid behind a nearby support beam, using it as a shield against the bullets.

Roy reacted just as quickly as Riza, but in a completely different manner. Once he heard the first shot he snapped his fingers. Flames immediately appeared in front of him. He grabbed Reina in one arm, Kenny and Blare in the other, and dashed out of the way of bullets that were flying in a wild and confused manner through the flames. He ran in the same direction as Riza, but she had gone farther back, giving the kids a safe chance to get away unharmed.

The men were ready this time. They knew what Roy could do and it didn't take much effort for them to avoid his attack. They shot their guns even though they couldn't see Roy through the heavy flames, hoping to get a lucky hit. Luckily Roy was able to think on his feet. He didn't make the flames powerful enough to catch the wood on the ground or in ceiling on fire.

_Damn._ Roy thought to himself, a disgusted look on his face as he stopped 30 or 40 feet away. His dark boots sliding on the wood shavings once again. He tried to stop on a dime, but because of the lack of friction beneath him when he tried to stop; he continued to slide and then began to fall backwards.

Once he hit the floor Kenny and Reina jerked out of his arms. "AHHHH! Master, save us!" Reina screamed as they quickly dashed back toward Riza. The pounding of bare feet were heard as they came bounding across the room.

Riza began to return fire as she raced toward the men.

"HA!" Jackal snapped with satisfaction when he saw Roy's attention was not on them, but on the floor he had fallen back on. He raised his gun quickly, not wanting to miss his chance.

"Eh!" Jazz hid in her hiding place. Her brown eyes immediately widened when she saw what Jackal was about to do. "DADDY DON'T!" she screamed and took off toward the vicious man she called her father.

_Daddy?_ Riza stopped dead in her tracks, sliding a little, calculating this in her mind. It suddenly all made sense to her. Why Jazz had been hiding in the building in the first place, why she had all the bruises, and why she didn't want to talk about it.

"Huh?" Jackal said in surprise. He glanced over to where he heard the scream. Almost immediately after he'd heard it he felt a weight suddenly appear on his right leg. He glanced down; a disgusted, angered look appeared on his face. "You little brat!" he snapped.

"Please don't!" Jazz cried as she clung to her father's leg. Tears streaming down her face as her grip on his leg tightened. "You can't!"

Roy quickly recovered from his fall. He glanced up to see why he'd heard Jazz scream, and why he hadn't been shot at the perfect moment. His face quickly went from rage and disgust to confusion. He stared for a moment, trying to register what was going on before his eyes.

"Er!" Jackal's gazed returned to Roy in a flash. "NO!" he sneered when he saw Roy's attention was on him once again. His attention was quickly diverted back on his daughter. "I almost had him!" he roared as he lurched out with his left arm and grabbed a handful of the black hair atop Jazz's head in his large fist.

"AH!" Jazz cried out in pain as he pulled fiercely on her scalp. More tears fell as he roared in anger and continued to yank on her hair. "PLEASE STOP, DADDY!" she cried, not loosening her grip on him.

"You little pest! You do nothing but get in the way! The only thing you're good for it target practice!" he snapped as he pulled hard to the left. Jazz couldn't fight back anymore. Her neck began to ache as her head was jerked in every direction imaginable and with a lot of force behind it, too. He jerked his large fist to the left again. Jazz reluctantly let go of his leg. The big man then slung Jazz around, giving one last yank, harder then the rest. He quickly released his grasp and Jazz was sent flying.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed as the images of the building flashed in front of her eyes. Her neck still ached and was tense from all the abuse it had just received. It felt a lot like whiplash.

Ice, Hell's Fire, and the third man just watched as Jazz flew a few feet, then hit the floor with a hard thud. Her shrieking stopped as she violently rolled and bounced across the floor. Her tan dress getting caught on large splinters that stuck out of the floor boards. Her small body came to a stop seven feet after it had landed. She lay still and motionless for a few seconds, then used her arms to push her upper body up slightly. Her small form shook from weakness and shock as she glanced over at Jackal, most of her face shielded by her long dark hair.

"Jazz!" Reina cried out from her hiding place in the back. Roy glanced back at her for a split second. He saw the other kids with her, watching with tears in their scared eyes.

"Ergh!" Jackal snapped again as he raised his black pistol. He was quickly thrown back by a forceful blow to his abdomen.

_Bang!_

The sound of gunfire cut through the building. In the surprise of the unexpected blow Jackal accidentally pulled the trigger. It missed everyone by a mile and the bullet lodged itself in the ceiling just above them.

"STOP IT, DADDY!" Jazz pleaded again as she pushed on her father's stomach. She was doing everything in her power to keep Jackal from shooting Roy. As long as she could muster up the strength, she'd keep going back at her father when he raised his gun.

"YOU IDIOT!" Jackal snapped, more furious then before. He glanced up and saw Roy staring at him once again. His nostrils flared with rage. He took his big hand and grabbed Jazz's shoulder. He squeezed tight causing her to flinch. He pushed her back with a lot of force; she fell backwards and landed on her butt.

"Ouch," Jazz said with a whine as she reached up and grabbed her sore shoulder. Then her tearful eyes went back to her storming father.

He stared down at her for a second, glaring evilly. Then he roared again and lurched forward, his large hand clasping around Jazz's small neck.

"AHH-" Jazz tried to scream but was quickly cut off as Jackal squeezed harder, closing off her airway. He smirked as she tried gasping for air. She grabbed at his large arms with her small hands trying desperately to make him let go.

"I told you not to get in the way," he retorted to her gestures coldly, and then he lifted her small frame high in the air, still holding her by the throat.

"Errr…" Roy growled angrily. He was about to get up and help when his eyes widened for a moment and he was frozen, overcome by shock as he watched what was taking place. He'd never seen anything like this, not even in Ishbal. This was cruelty on a totally different level.

"Heh," Jackal smirked as he brought his arm down hard and fast. Before Jazz knew it the building was moving fast before her eyes again, and her back was smashed into the ground. Her eyes widened in shock as she gasped for a breath, but didn't receive one, and pain radiated through her whole body.

"Should we stop him?" Ice asked as he watched Jackal. The expression on the large man's face was terrifying and deadly. He smirked with a truly evil grin, he was thoroughly enjoying every minute of this.

"No," Hell's Fire replied as she watched Jazz gasp again, then she glanced over at Roy, his face was enraged. "I want to see what he does."

"Hahahahaha," Jackal laughed coldly as he lifted Jazz small frame high in the air again, ready for a second blow. He'd be sure to make this one more painful then the last. The small girl's grip loosened as she felt her body going limp. All she could feel was the stinging pain. Her lungs and brain cried out for oxygen, her body cried out for relief from pain. She didn't get either. She could feel the grasp he had on her throat tighten again and again, and her vision began to get blurry as she was brought down for the second attack.

_Please stop, daddy._ She thought as her brown eyes closed and she began to loose her grasp on reality. Everything got dark as she felt the pain from the second blow. This one was more intense indeed, she felt the floor below her give way, but the grip her father had on her didn't let her fall.

Roy cursed in anger as Jackal lifted Jazz's limp body in the air again. He sneered and lunged forward. He couldn't use his alchemy, not with Jazz that close to the target. He'd get her for sure if he tried.

"Whoa!" Ice said when he saw Roy charging. He quickly headed for Jackal as well. The scrawny man pulled out his long knife. The blade flashed as it was pulled from the holster. He was going to get Roy before he got to Jackal.

Riza's amber eyes widened when she saw Ice racing toward Jackal and Jazz. "Lieutenant Colonel Mustang, sir!" she shouted, trying to make Roy aware of the situation. In a spilt second she pulled her silver pistol from its holster and fired. She didn't have time to take aim. She could only pray it was accurate enough to stop Ice.

"Damn you!" Ice said as he glanced at Riza when he heard the gunshot. He didn't have enough time to get out of the way. The bullet was on, but not on enough. It entered Ice's arm, and came barreling out the other side. "ARGH!" Ice flinched in pain as he saw the blood begin gushing out of his arm. He glanced up and saw Roy right in front of Jackal.

Roy sneered again as he pulled his arm back and then brought it down hard and fast, right on Jackal's right cheek. Jackal was stunned. He released his hold on Jazz and stumbled back a bit. Roy quickly reached down and quickly scooped up Jazz before she fell down the hole.

"Lieutenant Colonel!" he heard Riza shout again. Roy glanced up quickly, just fast enough to see the knife flying toward him. Ice had thrown it just moments before.

Roy had just enough time to dodge the sharp blade, but he didn't clear it, "Errrrr…" he growled as he flinched, the knife entering the upper part of his right arm. Blood began consuming the blue fabric around the knife, causing the material to become a dark black like color.

He skidded to the side and stopped his failed attempt to dodge the knife. He glared up at Hell's Fire, Jazz still in his arms. Ice knelt on the ground just in front of her, clutching his wounded arm with his other hand, sneering with disgust that his blade had missed its target.

"Why you!" Jackal sneered angrily as he brushed his hand across his face, he revealed a bloody lip. His nostrils flared again as he stared at Roy. He was about to charge at him when he was cut off.

_Bang!_ Smoke appeared on the ground just in front of Jackal. The bullet had gone straight through the weak wood.

Roy's gaze was diverted toward the back of the room. Riza had her gun aimed and ready. There was a stern, serious expression on her face. She'd been coving his back this whole time. "That's far enough," she said, her amber eyes locked on Jackal. Her voice had just as stern a tone and her face held it visibly.

"Heh," Hell's Fire smirked again. "Go get her," she said to the third man.

"Uh…" he replied as he looked at Riza nervously, "….ok…." he said as he cautiously started over toward her.

Hell's Fire smirked. Her plan was working. Riza's attention was being placed on Jackal, and now on the third man as well. Ice still glared at Roy, and he glared back. The he glanced down at Jazz. She looked as if she was asleep. "Hey," he said softly but sternly as he nudged her shoulder with his good arm, in an attempt to wake her up. "Hey," he said again, this time a little louder. He could see she had begun breathing again, her chest was rising and falling, unsteadily and shallow, but it was better then nothing. "Wake up."

"Uh… na…. huh…" she stirred sleepily. Her brown eyes fluttered open, then closed again.

"Wake up, Jazz!" Reina yelled from across the room.

"Yeah!" Kenny shouted, "Wake up already! We know you can do it! Go, Jazz, Go!"

Kenny and Reina began cheering, rising their fists in the air; like they were about to charge into battle, dead serious expressions plastered on their faces. "Go, Jazz, Go! Go, Jazz, Go!" they cheered loudly. Sayo, Blare, and Tommy cowered in the corner, not wanting to been seen by the gangsters.

"SHUT UP!" Ice roared loudly as his deadly glare was now set on Reina and Kenny.

"Eh!" Reina and Kenny stared for a second, huge sweat drops on the sides of their heads. They shot to the hiding place with Sayo and the other two boys in the blink of an eye.

"HA!" Hell's Fire snapped with an evil grin as she shot forward, heading straight for Roy.

"Uh!" Roy saw her coming and started to stand up. Jazz still half asleep in his arms.

"Where are you going, Lieutenant Colonel?" Hell's Fire asked with a confident yet seductive voice.

Roy sneered; he stood up and turned around. He was about to run toward Riza when Hell's Fire cracked her whip. Roy glanced behind him just in time to catch a glimpse of the long strap of leather. girl maneuvered it in a way that it flew in front of Roy, and then looped around his neck. She then pulled it tight, clasping the whip around the dog's neck and choking him. She pulled on the whip hard, causing Roy to loose his balance and fall backwards. He hit the ground with a thud. His dark eyes quickly snapped open and he shot up and in a sitting poison. Jazz lay on his lap.

Roy growled and sneered again as he looked at Hell's Fire. He would have tried to untie the choking whip, but he didn't know what she would do to him or his friends if he tried to escape or fight back. With Jazz sitting right there on his lap it would be too risky to use alchemy. He could use a small flame to be sure it wouldn't hurt her, but in turn it wouldn't do anything to Hell's Fire either. All he could do was wait it out.

Hell's Fire casually walked in front of Roy. "You should be careful, Lieutenant Colonel," she said as she bent down in front of him. Her red eyes level with his dark ones.

_Bang! Bang!_

Roy's head shot in the other direction. He saw Riza in a quarrel with both Jackal and the third man. She couldn't help him now.

Hell's Fire's slender fingers slipped under Roy's chin. She calming pulled his gaze back to her. "You didn't let him finish," she began, "If you move too fast, then the air current you create with your body could cause the flames to follow your movements resulting on you catching on fire, or you could put the fire out. Either one of them is bad, wouldn't you agree?" she asked as she looked at him dead in the eyes. Roy wasn't too sure what she was trying to say. Was this some sort of foreshadowing? Was she trying to tell him something that was too come? Or was she just rambling about fire?

Her eyes remained calm and peaceful, "You can create flames, can you not?"

Roy just glared at her. The tight whip prevented him form speaking. Hell's Fire knew that, she just wanted to play with him.

"We wouldn't want to put you out, now would we?" she asked with a smile.

"Hell's Fire!" she heard a female voice shout. Hell's Fire's attention was immediately taken off Roy. She stared into the doorway. A female stood before them. She looked to be 17 years old or so. Her hair was bark brown it was shoulder length and pulled back into a ponytail. She had blue eyes. Behind her stood two more teens. They looked to be the same ago, or almost the same age, as she was. Beside the teens stood Vis, the old gangster Roy had come in contact with before. Next to the brown-haired girl stood a tall man. He was tall and muscular. His hair was short and black; his eyes were blue like the girl's. This man was Lex, the gang's leader.

_Who's that?_ Roy wondered as he stared at the girl. She glared down at Roy and Hell's Fire. He noticed once she came into view all the fighting had stopped and the gang members gave her their full attention.

Even Jackal stopped to stare at this new girl. His face was nervous as he stared at her, "Grimm…"

AN: So what did you think? I bet you weren't expecting that, huh? Poor Jazz, don't you just want to hug her? Another cliff hanger. Noooooooooooooooo! Lol, see you next time and don't forget to review!


	32. Drowning in Invisible Water

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 32: Drowning in Invisible Water

"Grimm…" Jackal said nervously as he stared at the new arrivals.

The girl known as Grimm's real name was Rachel. She had brown shoulder length hair, pulled back into a ponytail, and blue eyes. Hell's Fire's beauty far surpassed Grimm's. Grimm got her mother's looks more then Hell's Fire did. Hell's Fire got them not from her mother, or her father, but from her grandmother. Grimm didn't give a hoot about it though, she wasn't the pettiest, but she wasn't butt ugly, so she was ok with it. She was also a firm believer in the term 'looks aren't everything'.

Grimm's outfit was, of course, black leather. Her pants hugged her legs tightly, and her belt was not made of black leather like her comrades, but of several small silver chains. Held in the chains was a katana, or Japanese sword. Her jacket was a short one; she wore no shirt under it, leaving most of her mid-drift showing, and was zipped up not all the way, but far enough that nothing fell out. She glared down at Roy and Hell's Fire with cold ice-like blue eyes. Roy noticed rather quickly that she had one of the deadliest glares he'd ever seen. 'The look' as the gangsters often called it, could send a chill down the fieriest of men's spines.

Grimm did not speak, but Lex, her father did. "Allow me to introduce myself and my men," he said in a stern tone as he looked down at the two military dogs.

Roy glared at him, he began to feel light headed, and his lungs cried out for air. He didn't show any hint of this on his face, he just sneered. Riza stood in her same position. Her gun was raised, ready to fire if needed.

"I am Lex," the tall dark haired man began, "I'm the leader of this gang. This is my oldest daughter, Grimm," he said as he laid a hand on Grimm's shoulder. She titled her head forward a little, in a bowing gesture to welcome the new guests. Her eyes still glared coldly. "I believe you've met my other daughter, Hell's Fire," he said as he looked over at the red eyed girl beside Roy. Hell's Fire just glared back at him. "These are two of Grimm's friends," Lex continued, Grimm stepped to the right, revealing the two teens that stood behind her.

"Saff and Shadow," Grimm finished her father's sentence.

"Huh?" Riza was surprised to see the girl behind Grimm with her nose in a book. _I don't think this is the best time to do any light reading. _She thought to herself. Her face became serious as she tightened her grip on her silver pistol.

Saff was the one reading the book. She was 14 years old. She had brown hair and brown eyes. Saff was a strange gangster indeed. Her clothes weren't revealing like most of the other females, and she'd rather have her nose in a book then fight. She hated fighting, but despite this fact she was Grimm's best friend. One good trait that came from this was Saff often read fighting books, which had excellent and affective attacks that she told Grimm how to do.

The other teen that stood behind her was a boy. _He must be Shadow._ Riza told herself, studying her new enemies carefully, trying to pick out anything she could use to her advantage on their bodies. Wither it be an article of clothing, old wound, or even their own weapon. She didn't care as long as it was something.

Shadow was almost 16 years old. His real name was Emsu Goldman. His hair was short and black, his eyes were yellow. His skin was very pale, his face calm as Grimm stood near him. He had a strange past. He was originally one of the orphans, but Grimm took him in and taught him to fight. For this he felt forever indebted to her, and now had a secret crush on her. At Shadow's sides were not swords, guns, or whips, but sais. These were a pair of weapons, also known to some people as jins. They looked like forks that had three long blades. The blades were thin and somewhat rounded. The blade in the middle was longer then the two on the outside. There was a small handle at the bottom, the handle was often pressed against the user's palm, and then his fingers were clasped around the base of the fork like structure, fingers grasping the weapon in between the blades, giving the user more control over the long sharp blades.

Roy's dark eyes squinted and his teeth clenched as he tried to keep from fainting. Beads of sweat traveled down his face as he studied the new gangsters carefully. _He must be Chinese._ He thought as he stared at Shadow.

Shadow was not Chinese, but it was a common misconception caused by his appearance. His parents were both originally from Xing, and they both followed the Xing law. Their people believed alchemy was only used for healing, but were proven wrong when they were both killed by the use of it.

"….uh…" Jazz's eyes opened slowly. She blinked a few times as her pupils came into focus. She turned her head to the door, her eyes half closed and a sleepy expression on her face. She saw Grimm, Shadow, Saff, and Vis standing before the door, Lex was not in her range of sight. Her pupils dilated as they absorbed the bright light of the moon that shown behind Grimm, but her brown eyes quickly went back to normal as the dark clouds rolled in, blocking out the light that seemed almost blinding to her. "….It's… going to rain…" she whispered weakly and fell back asleep, her breathing more stable now.

Roy felt Jazz's movement and looked down at her. He faintly heard her whisper and glanced at where the moon had been. It was now covered by clouds. He could sort of see where the moon currently sat, a part of one of the clouds was brighter then the rest, it was blocking out the moonlight.

"Huh?" Riza glanced up at the moon as well when she saw the world suddenly get darker.

Roy's attention was quickly taken off the clouds as he slumped forward a little bit. The sweat on his forehead began to get thicker as it dripped off his chin. He quickly stopped himself from falling forward and pulled back at little bit, so he didn't smother Jazz. He began to shake his head back and forth; trying to focus his eyes and fight off the darkness that began consuming his range of sight. _No, I can't pass out now. _He scoffed again. _If I pass out now, Hawkeye will have to fight all these men on her own. I'm her superior; I can't let her have that burden. _He thought as he shook his head again, refusing to let himself fall asleep. His chest burned and his head ached as his body tried to gets his attention by radiating a fierce pain throughout his oxygen-starved body. His vision was blurry and his hearing became muffled. It seemed as if he was really under water. His body became so heavy and it felt like his chest was being crushed by the waves that no one could see. The world he thought he was apart of seemed to get farther and farther away as he sank down in the dark ocean some people called death, while others considered this dark world a type of paradise.

Lucky for Roy, Hell's Fire's mind was still set on her father, who was rambling on about how great his gang was. No one but the members were really listening. The orphans were scared out of their minds and hiding, Roy was trying not to pass out, Jazz was asleep, and Riza was calculating on what she could do to take this darker version of the world to her advantage.

"….huh…." Jazz slowly and sleepishly opened her brown eyes again when she felt some hot liquid raining down on her. "….uh…." she stirred as she saw Roy jerking his head back and forth, just above her face. It took her slurred mind a minute or two to process what she saw. "Mister….?" she asked as a slight confused expression appeared on her face. A few more beads of sweat landed on her face. It didn't faze or disgust her. She was too out of it to notice what it was. "Mister, what's the…. matter? Are you ok?…. Are …you, are you, are… you?..." she asked, her old personality coming through a little as her mind began to recover and speed up. She stared at Roy, her mind wanting to fall back asleep, but somehow she managed to stay awake.

_Don't fall asleep._ Roy ordered himself as he continued his attempt to stay conscious through shaking his head. It wasn't the most violent shake. He didn't have the strength or stamina for that. You could tell he was losing the battle as he got slower and jerked less frequently with not as much force. He began to slump forward again. _No!_ His mind screamed as he stopped himself from falling.

"Hm?" Hell's Fire looked back at Roy when she caught a glimpse of his movement out of the corner of her red eye. She turned back to him, kneeling in front of him with a satisfied grin. "What's wrong?" she asked with a smirk, her voice full of seduction as she leaned in close to him. Roy stopped jerking when he noticed her body only inches from his. He sneered at Jazz who lay in his lap, too weak to lift his head and look at Hell's Fire. He was using all the strength he had left not to collapse on the five year old girl.

"What's the matter, Lieutenant Colonel?" Hell's Fire asked as she slid her fingers across Roy's sweat covered face, his face was damp and very warm. It felt as if he had a fever as adrenaline rushed through his veins rising his body temperature as he tried to fight off the death disguised as peaceful slumber.

Her slender finger caressed his cheek gently before slipping under his chin once again. She lifted his chin up so he could see her face. There was still a slight glow to it as the light from fire on the other end of the room bounced off her pale skin. "Is the flame you once so powerfully possessed beginning to burn itself out?" she asked as she stared at Roy, his dark eyes were glazed over as he gazed into her red ones. Another bead of sweat traveled down the side of his forehead. His face had lost all its color, leaving him very pale. He was losing the battle wither he liked it or not. His eyes began to close as he tried once last time to get a breath, but too weak to even open his mouth enough to taste the char filled air.

Riza also saw the movement Roy had made. Her amber eyes were quickly set on him. She didn't fire until she saw what was really going on with him. Once she saw how glazed and lifeless his eyes had become she realized he was suffocating. "Lieutenant Colonel, sir!" she shouted as she raised her gun, aiming at Hell's Fire.

The teen's attention was quickly taken to Riza, but she didn't have time to react. Riza was just about to shoot when another gunshot rang out. Her amber eyes widened as a bullet whizzed by her head. Before she could regain herself there was another figure barreling towards her.

"I don't think so!" Grimm's voice retorted as she put the black pistol in her hand back in its holster and quickly switched to her other side, once she was in arm's length and Riza was about to fire, Grimm pulled her katana from its sheath. It flashed an orange beam of light as it caught the dying fire's gaze. Then she swung it hard and a clang along with a gunshot was heard as she diverted Riza's attack and pushed her pistol toward the ground. The bullet lodged itself in the floor as the barrel of the gun was pushed down by the crushing force of the sword.

"Errrr…" Riza growled as her sliver pistol was forced away from its targets.

Grimm's blue eyes narrowed and a smirk appeared on her face. She turned her sword's blade quickly and was about to bring it up toward the ceiling and slice Riza in half, bottom to top.

The Lieutenant saw what was about to happen and defended herself from the blow as she moved her gun in front of the blade. The katana was caught on the underside of the barrel of Riza's gun, cutting off the attack, sparks appeared as the steel from the weapons clashed. The force of the upwards blow caused Riza to fall backwards a little bit. _I didn't think she was that strong._ She jeered to herself as she tried to stop the backwards motion her body was now making. She then planted her feet firmly on the ground and brought her arm up, her gun in hand, trying to shoot Grimm as her upper body continued to fall back.

Grimm wasn't ready for this at all. "Eh!" she snapped, her eyes widened and she was about to try and dodge the attack, to make a seemingly impossible escape when she was quickly saved, and another loud clang was heard.

Riza sneered again when she felt her gun come to a sudden halt. She'd miss Grimm for sure if she tried firing at this angle. "What?" She looked over to the right and saw the barrel of her pistol caught between two blades. Her amber eyes ran down the blades and up the arm that held the sai.

"Not today…" Shadow said coldly as he held Riza's gun still. Then he pulled out his other sai and lashed out at her.

Riza's eyes widened as she jumped back fast, releasing her grip on her pistol, but also missing the blades in the process.

"Hm…" Hell's Fire smirked as she watched her sister. Roy was half dead, but still had enough life left in him to see Riza out of the corner of his glazed eye. His brain was shutting down, so he couldn't register fully what was happening. A blank expression now inhabited his face, but little bits of his mind urged him to help her.

Lex and Jackal watched the teens work with a smile. Ice still sat on the floor, clutching his wounded arm. Saff was still reading and Vis stood next to her. He smiled as he watched the future leaders of the gang work. The third man walked over to Saff and Lex, Jackal followed. Jackal knew full well he couldn't lash out, not with Lex right there. So he restrained himself and stood quietly next to the leader.

Jazz still stared up at Roy; she then looked over in the direction Hell's Fire's face was turned too. Her eyes widened when she saw Riza. She watched as the military dog jumped backwards as she was slashed in the stomach by Grimm's katana. The wound wasn't too deep, but it did bleed and it stung. Riza eyed her pistol. It still sat in Shadow's sais. The boy just watched, allowing Grimm to do what she pleased with Riza. He would only step in if ordered or Grimm needed his help.

"Finished already?" Grimm asked as she was about to slash at Riza again.

Riza cursed and crouched down low to the ground, one arm over her stomach's wound. _Ok._ She thought to herself as she watched Grimm's blade flash. _This is worse then cramps._ She flinched and spun her body quickly. She attempted to trip Grimm, but the brown-haired girl saw it coming and quickly evaded it. Riza then jumped back fast, out of her reach for a moment.

Jazz quickly looked up at Roy again, her mind was quickly retuning. She saw the knife lodged in Roy's upper arm. This gave her an idea. Her eyes went to Hell's Fire for a second, when she saw Hell's Fire wasn't watching she quickly raised her arm up. She grabbed the handle of the knife and pulled as hard as she could. Roy flinched as Jazz struggled and pulled the knife out, some blood gushing out along with it.

"Hm?" Hell's Fire asked when she felt some hot liquid hit her hand that rested on her lap. She saw the dark blood that had fallen on it. It looked somewhat purple from receiving no oxygen. She glanced up at Roy. "Hey!" she snapped and lunged for Jazz, but before she could the small girl forced the blade between some of the leather straps. She could have done this before Hell's Fire saw, but with the bullwhip being looped so tight around the Lieutenant Colonel's neck she struggled with it.

"Ehhhhrrrhhhh!" noise escaped Jazz's lips as she pulled back hard on the knife, trying to cut at least some of the whip.

"You brat!" Hell's Fire roared as she grabbed Jazz, pulling her off Roy and dragging her to the side, leaving the knife still lodged in the leather straps.

"Hey!" Kenny snapped as he watched Hell's Fire. His fear faded, overcome by rage as he watched Hell's Fire assault his friend. Pure adrenaline shot through his veins as he got up. He then dashed out of their hiding place and headed toward Hell's Fire and Jazz.

"Hey!" Reina shouted. "Where are you going?" she asked as she watched Kenny. He ran up to Hell's Fire and grabbed her arm, yanking on her to release Jazz.

"What?" Hell's Fire's face was overcome by surprise when she felt Kenny yank on her arm. She scoffed and tried to grab him, but once she tried to grab Kenny, Jazz tried to escape. It's was one of those times when you try to get one and lose the other, so she retained her hold on Jazz, and snapped at Kenny with words.

Reina looked from Hell's Fire to Roy. She smirked when she saw the knife still there. "I'M COMING, HONEY!" she shouted, one hand rose in the air as she took off running.

"Huh?" Shadow asked in wonder when he caught a glimpse of Reina run passed him. Then he saw the knife. He cursed and was about to run after her when he felt both his legs become overcome by weight. He looked down and saw Blare and Tommy clinging to one leg, Sayo held the other. All three of them glared up at him, but Tommy held an evil smile.

"Now what you gonna do?" Tommy asked with a smirk. Then the three kids pulled back hard, it didn't take much to get Shadow to lose his balance. He fell forward, landing on his stomach. Once he hit the floor both his sais flew out if his grasp, and then slid out of reach. Riza's gun had fallen loose and slid across the wooden floor, lying a few feet in front of the sliver sai.

"Er!" Shadow sneered as he looked back up towered Roy. He saw Reina pulling on the knife. "Hey!" he was about to yell to Lex and the others to help when his mouth was clasped by Tommy.

"Now, now, you shouldn't talk if you aren't called on," Tommy replied.

"Um….." the third man said as a sweat drop appeared on the back of his head. He, Lex, Vis, Ice, and Jackal watched in disgust and embarrassment as the kids over took the thugs. They could hear Riza and Grimm's quarrel on the other side of the room, but they couldn't drag their gaze away from the rampaging rug rats.

"Hhhheeeerraaawwwww…." Reina said as she pulled on the knife, it took a lot to cut through the fine leather of the whip.

Shadow jeered. _You could help you know._ He thought as he stared up at Lex. Once he saw the men weren't going to interfere he diverted his attention to the two kids that clung to his legs. He was about to left his upper body up, and then go into a sitting position to lash out at them with his fists, but was quickly stopped when Tommy sat down on his back, preventing him from doing so.

"Give up yet?" Grimm asked as she lashed out at Riza with her katana. All Riza could do at this point was dodge the blade. She had no weapon to attack with. She dodged, but kept a close eye out for a chance to punch or kick.

Riza sneered, her attention going back to Roy every now and then. _Come on Reina; don't let him die, please._ She said to herself. Her heart longed to go help her commanding officer, but Grimm was preventing her from doing so.

"Hrrrrrreeeeeeerrrrr…" more noises escaped Reina's throat as she pulled on the knife. She was beginning to tire out, but she wasn't going to let that stop her. She stopped a moment for a breath, and then she started again. "Errrrggggg…."

"Huh?" Sayo said when she noticed how much trouble Reina was having. She knew Roy wouldn't last much longer. "Blare," she said to the little boy who sat next to her.

"Huh?" the small boy asked looking back at her. Her lime green eyes flashed in the fire light. They were serious and determined.

"Can you hold both his legs?" she asked.

"Uh… sure," Blare replied as he scooted over a little. Sayo lifted off Shadow's leg and he scooted over on it. One arm curled around each leg. This made things a little more difficult, but he managed.

Once she was sure Blare could do it, Sayo ran over to Reina, her long black hair swaying back and forth as she ran. "Sayo?" Reina asked, surprised to see the shy girl next to her.

"Come on, let's help him," Sayo said as she began pulling on the already damaged leather.

"Right," Reina said with a smile as she pulled, too.

"Hurry up!" Blare called. Shadow was pulling his legs apart in opposite directions, making it very hard for little Blare to hold on. "I can't hold him much longer!" he shouted. Shadow was a lot stronger then he was so he knew this wouldn't last long.

"Pull, Reina!" Kenny called as he watched from Hell Fire's side, still pulling on her arm. He wanted to release Jazz, but provide more of a diversion for Reina and Sayo.

Riza glanced over at them. _Come on, you can do it. _She was currently pinned against the wall. She had found a large plank along the way. She was using it as a makeshift shield. It wouldn't take long before Grimm's blade cut through it, but it would last for now.

"Errrr…." she growled as she pushed hard against Grimm, she managed to take a few steps forward, giving her a little space between herself and the wall. She glanced over and saw her pistol lying on the floor. She had to get over to it.

"Got it!" Sayo shouted a few seconds later. They heard the sound of the leather snapping as the knife went the rest of the way through it.

"Ahh!" Sayo and Reina fell backwards as the whip gave way and there was nothing holding the blade back.

Roy fell back on his back, gasping and taking in the air in large gulps. Small noises escaped his mouth as he sucked in and flushed out the air. The color began to return it his skin as a few more beads of sweat traveled down the sides of his forehead and into his soaked black hair.

"Are you ok, dear?" Reina asked as she knelt next to Roy and leaned in close to his face. "Master?" she asked again as she watched him take in the air, waiting for him to reply.

"He's breathing," Sayo said as she sat behind Reina. "He should be ok."

Relief overcame Riza's face as she saw Roy's chest rising and falling. Her relieved expression quickly changed when she saw the dark bruises that now consumed his throat.

"Get serious!" Grimm snapped. Her face became angered when she saw Riza kept ignoring her. She pulled out her black pistol and fired into the air, getting everyone's attention. "That's more like it," she smirked as she swung her katana as hard as she could.

"Eh!" Riza said in surprise when she saw how hard the sword was swung. She ducked quickly as the sword cut through the plank. The top of the board flew through the air and landed a few feet away.

"I don't think you'll need this anymore," Grimm said as she pulled the wood out of Riza's grasp and threw it to the side.

_Now what do I do?_ Riza wondered as she stepped back. Great heat was on her back as the fire burned behind her, she could hear the cracking of the wood in the flames. It wasn't directly behind her yet, and the flames began dying. No one had noticed it because of the fight, but it had started raining. It water soaked the wood, killing the fire and giving what flames remained a hard time spreading.

Grimm just smirked. Her eyes still shown like ice, not even the flames could melt the coldness in her heart.


	33. At Times the Dark can be Deadlier then t

AN: Hi all, thanks a lot for the reviews! Niw I feel I must reply to a few people!

Psychotic Manifestation: Wow, a flame. I feel kind of complete now. I finally got a flame, not that I'm proud, but I'm kind of glad you did. You pointed out good points and whatnot. I don't know if you're still reading this. I hope you are but I found you were right on the whole 'Xing' and 'Chinese' thing. I fixed it, and it was my mistake I apologize. The good news is I'm done adding people. I know, there were a lot of OC characters, but you'll see that not all of them are really the _main_ characters have to be known. Lots of them are just there to make it seem more realistic. It would be kind of weird for only like 2 or 3 people to be the only inhabitants of a whole town. That's why I put more characters in it. Sorry that you don't really like it now. I thought that if Roy and Riza were in it it would still be FMA and not original. It does switch back to Hughes and the others later if that makes you feel better. Usually I do all I can to fix problems the readers have with the fic, but since having all the characters is kind of a big thing I can't really fix it. I'm sorry; I did fix the Xing thing for you. I hope you feel a little better and I'm sorry again that you don't think it's good anymore.

charriXD and rizahawkeye21: I reread the last chapter after reading your reviews, and was all, "Wow, they do sneer a lot." Sweat drops. I'm really glad you pointed that out, and I didn't notice it before, maybe because it takes longer to write then to read. It seemed more spaced out when I wrote it I guess. But I fixed that for the two of you. I went back and changed a lot of the 'sneered's to other things. I hope you're happy now, and I'm sorry I used the same word 1,000 times over… it kind of bashed the whole chapter into the ground XD.

Ok guys! Good news and bad news! Good news, no more characters! Yes! I am done adding characters! Yes, there will be extras later, but they are just that group of people who gathers around every fight and never seems to do anything, you know what I'm taking about. The bad news… I have pushed myself in to a corner. Sweat drops. Doing four fights (soon to be five) at once won't be that easy, so if I seem to linger away from one group for awhile, don't kill me! Also, it may seem like this building goes on forever, you know in those old cartoons, when one character is chasing another character and the hallway never seems to end? Well, it may be like that if I have one character come barreling toward another. I may leave him/her running for awhile while I go back and talk about the other groups, if that comes into play I apologize! Like I said, four different groups aren't easy to do, combine that with I've never done this before and you see my problem. Just bare with me!

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 33: At Times the Dark can be Deadlier then the Gunshot

Grimm just smirked. Her eyes still shown like ice, not even the flames could melt the coldness in her heart.

Riza glanced at the wall behind her, and then her attention quickly went back to the teen in front of her.

She flashed an evil grin as she swung her katana at Riza again. "My blade wants to make your acquaintance."

Riza's eyes widened, she ducked and rolled to the right quickly, her black boots sliding on the floor, but she kept her balance. Once she saw Grimm's side was unprotected she lunged forward. "Errr…" a growl escaped her lips as her arms wrapped around Grimm's thin waist and she pushed the brown haired teen backwards. _If I can get her on the floor, then I can get her gun._ Riza thought as she as pushed the girl back.

"Why you!" Grimm snarled as her back hit the floor, Riza on top of her. She quickly raised her arm up, her sword still in her grasp.

Riza was about to grab Grimm's wrists and force her arms against the floor when she saw the katana out of the corner of her eye. "EH!" She was quickly forced off Grimm when she saw the sword coming toward her. The blade flashed as to flew over Grimm's chest. If Riza hadn't of avoided the attack her arms would have been cut off. But before Riza jumped away she swiped Grimm's black pistol from the holster at her side. _Got it!_ A satisfied expression appeared on the military dog's face as she clutched the gun in her hand.

Grimm quickly got up and charged after her. "Get back here!" she snapped as Riza ran back farther in the room, trying to 'capture the high ground' as some fighting experts called it.

Jackal scoffed as he watched Roy gasp for breath and begin to regain himself. _He'll be able to fight again soon._ This is ridiculous. Both the dogs would have been dead along time ago if he and the others were allowed in the fight. "Errrr…." he growled fiercely and ran out into the battle, not caring about Lex for the moment.

Reina glanced up when she heard Jackal roar. "AHHHHH!" the small girl screamed when she saw the muscle man barreling toward them.

"Eh!" Sayo's eyes widened as she turned to run, but was quickly cut off by the fight taking place behind them by Grimm and Riza.

_Bang! Bang!_ Sayo watched Riza fire at Grimm, missing in the dark.

"Muw…" Kiro said quietly as she and Kiari watched from the side of the room, hidden in the dark shadows and crevasses.

Riza's attention was diverted to Jackal. She saw him heading for the two girls, but there was little she could do about it. When she tried to fire Grimm's sword always stopped her attack, either the blade knocked the barrel away from its target, or she had to use it to block an attack. _What do I do?_ She cursed to herself. She had to help the kids, but she had to fight Grimm, too. There was no way she could do both.

It got very chilly in the building as the last of the fire went out and the sound of pouring rain was heard outside. The thunder roared and lighting flashed. The world around them became bright, but went dim suddenly as the lightening faded; then it remained dark until the next bolt appeared. Lucky for them, this wouldn't last long and dawn would approach in an hour or so.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Reina shrieked again as Jackal raced toward her. She quickly grasped Roy's injured arm and screamed.

Roy opened his eyes when he felt Reina yanking on him. Then Sayo ran to Roy's side.

"Wake up, wake up!" Sayo cried as she put her small hands on Roy's chest and shook him back and forth, brining him back to conciseness.

"Reina, watch out!" Kenny yelled as he held on to Hell's Fire's arm.

"Let go!" Hell's Fire snapped and tried to jerk him off, but to no avail. The thunder boomed again, Jackal's angry face lit up for a moment as the lightening flashed.

"No, you let go!" Jazz snapped back as she tried to push Hell's Fire's arm off her. This didn't faze Hell's Fire at all. She held Jazz's small body to her chest tightly.

Jackal smirked as he came upon Reina. "GAHHHHHHHH!" she screamed bloody murder as Jackal grabbed her red shirt and tried to pull her away from Roy, "AHHHHHHHH! NOOOOO!" she shrieked again as she clung to Roy's arm. Sayo sat next to her. Her lime green eyes widened as she shook Roy harder, desperate to get him to wake up.

Shadow sneered and cursed himself as he grabbed at his back, trying to reach Tommy and force him off.

"Ha ha!" Tommy said with a laugh as he jumped around on Shadow's back, evading all teen's attempts. "Too slow! You can't get me, na, na!" the boy teased as he stuck out his tongue.

"Grrrr…" Shadow growled as his yellow eyes saw glimpses of Tommy's squirmy body.

"What's wrong?" the rug rat asked as he stood proudly on his back, doing this lifted some of the weight off Shadow.

_I've got you now._ Shadow smirked when he realized Tommy was standing on him. He was about to lift his upper boy up, throwing Tommy off like a wild horse in a rodeo, but before he could…

"Ha!" Tommy chimed and jumped up, he pulled his legs to his chest, like he was about to do a cannon ball into a pool.

"Auuuuhhhh!" Shadow gasped as all the air was forced out if his chest as the boy's butt came down on his spine.

Blare smiled, he was about to laugh, but was cut sort as Shadow thrashed his limbs around. "Gahhhh!" he shouted as he tried to maintain his hold on the teen's jerking legs. His small body being thrown back and forth as Shadow shook viciously.

Riza dodged another one of Grimm's attacks. "Sir!" she shouted as the blade flashed with the lightening. Her amber eyes narrowed as they went from Roy and then back to Grimm.

She fired again, the sound of the gunshot was nothing compared to the loud thunder. Grimm didn't even have to dodge; the Lieutenant was way off from firing blindly in the dark.

"Would you fight already?" Grimm spat. She was getting sick of Riza doing nothing but dodging her blows.

Riza just glared back at her. The storm made things a lot harder, it was almost impossible to see in the dark, the flash of the katana's blade and the lightening was the only thing that cut through the cold darkness.

The third man jeered as he watched the teens struggle. He was about to step in when he noticed Saff reading. He sneered again and walked over to her. "Hey!" he snapped.

"Uh… yes?" Saff asked as she looked up at him, a confused expression on her face.

Vis looked over at them when he heard the third man snap. A sweat drop appeared on the side of his sliver head, "How do you read that in the dark?"

"Uh…" Saff stared back at them, "It's easy!" she said excitedly as she held one hand in the air.

Ice and Lex still watched the battles taking place in the room. They didn't seem to notice the new quarrel taking place. Either they didn't see it, or they didn't care. Lex was disappointed in Jackal, but he didn't do anything at that moment. He'd make sure Jackal paid for it later.

The third man growled angrily, "Why don't you go out there and help your friends?" he retorted.

"Uh…" Saff looked questionably at him again. "Because I don't want too," she replied somewhat shyly.

The third man's face became furious as his fists clenched with rage.

"What are you doing?" Vis asked as he watched the third man approach Saff, pouring rain shown behind them as they stood in front of the entrance.

The young teen watched him; her brown eyes became wide and fearful, unsure of what he was about to do to her.

"The library is closed," the third man said coldly as he grabbed the spine of her book. He pulled hard on it. She still stared at him, her eyes still big and watery, he tugged, but she wouldn't release her grip on the front of the book.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! YOU BRAT!" Hell's Fire shouted. Everyone's attention quickly went to Hell's Fire. "Errrr…." she cursed as she rubbed her hand over her free arm, Jazz still in her grasp and Kenny still clinging to her. The lightening flashed, revealing a large red spot with a few indentations in Hell's Fire's pale skin.

Jazz smirked, Kenny laughed a bit.

"Grreeeerrr…" She growled again. "You bit me you little brat!"

"Yesh!" Jazz answered proudly with a big grin.

"Hm…" the third man growled as his attention was quickly set back on Saff. When he noticed she wasn't watching his he pulled hard on the book, pulling it out of her grasp.

"HEY!" Saff snapped as she looked at the third man with a deadly glare.

"Now get out there," he spat and pointed to the battlefield.

"Uooooooooooohhhhhhrrrrr…." The girl puffed, rage overcame her face. She lunged at the third gangster.

"WHAT THE?" he was overcome by confusion and surprise as he turned his back on Saff, getting his face away incase she tried to scratch him. He'd had several girlfriends that scratched his face, using their fingernails as weapons. "HEY!" he shouted in a shocked tone as Saff landed on his back, her arms and legs wrapped around his stick-like form.

"GIVE ME BACK MY BOOK!" she snapped as she reached over his shoulders and grabbed for her beloved book, her arms flaying like mad as he pulled it away from her every time.

"Heh…. what a mess this is," Vis said with a half smile. "GIVE ME!" he heard Saff say as she continued her assault.

"Master!" Reina cried out as she still clung to Roy's arm. Her back was aching and tears were steaming down her dirty face. Jackal had hit her on the back a few times, trying to force her to release her grip on the Lieutenant Colonel. She didn't let go, Roy's arm stung and bled more as she pulled and jerked it around, the pain also helped in brining him to conciseness.

"Uh…" he opened his eyes sleepily as his mind began healing itself. He glanced up as Reina's scream cut through the room.

A relieved expression overcame Sayo's face when she saw Roy was waking up. "GET UP!" she shouted a she pulled on him, trying to get him in a sitting position.

He blinked a few times, trying to get his eyes as well as his mind to come into focus.

"HELP!" Reina shouted. Roy's mind snapped back into reality when he felt Reina tugging on his arm and he found out what was going on.

"Let go, brat!" Jackal scoffed as he pulled on Reina.

"NO!" Reina retorted.

Roy glared up at Jackal, his eyes back to the normal dark shade they once were. He quickly sat up and grabbed Reina with his free hand, pulling her to his side.

"Oh, so you're awake?" Jackal asked as he glared at Roy. He smirked and released Reina's shirt from his grasp.

"Yeah, did you miss me?" Roy asked with his trademark smirk. Reina fell back to the floor. She quickly scampered under Roy's wounded arm, clinging to his side.

"No," Jackal replied, "But my fist did!" he shouted as he sent his fist flying, its destination was Roy's face.

Roy smirked again. He lifted his free hand up calmly and snapped his fingers. A flame appeared, but it wasn't nearly as big as he had expected. It quickly disappeared, leaving him defenseless. "Eh?" he looked at the red lining on his glove in confusion.

"Heh," Jackal said somewhat comically, it didn't take much for him to dodge the small flame. It was about the size of the flame on a candle. He could have even blown it out if he wanted.

"What the heck was that?" Reina spat with disappointment, still clinging to his side.

"Uh…" Sayo just stared, her lime green eyes blinked in confusion as she sat next to them.

Roy sat in wonder for a moment.

"Sir, look outside!" Riza yelled from the other end of the room.

"What?" Roy asked as he turned to look outside, in his disabled state of mind he hadn't noticed it had started storming. "Oh…" he said his voice full of irritation.

"What's wrong? Did you lose your nerve?" Jackal asked with a smirk as he came in for another punch.

"No," the dog snapped as he blocked Jackal's blow with his good arm and got to his feet, Reina slid down his side and hit the floor with a thud.

"Awwww…" she whined as she stared up at him, "That's was comfy."

Roy glanced down at her, then back at Jackal.

"What's wrong then?" Jackal asked.

"The dampness in the air," Roy replied bitterly. He then lunged at Jackal, he tried to punch him with his good arm, but Jackal blocked it. Once Roy saw Jackal was busy blocking his punch, he brought his leg up quickly, jabbing his knee into his opponent's stomach.

"Grrraaaaahhhh…" Jackal gasped as the air was forced out of his chest, spit flew out of his mouth and his gray eyes widened. Roy then punched him in the face, knocking him backwards and to the ground.

Grimm flashed an evil grin again. Riza was pinned against the back wall. "Nowhere to run," she said coldly as she swung her sword at the trapped dog.

"We'll see," Riza replied and ducked quickly. Before Grimm could stop it, the blade went into the wall behind them.

"What?" Grimm sneered as her blade lodged itself in the planks. She pulled back hard, but couldn't free the sword.

Riza jumped out from under Grimm quickly and dashed away from her. Then she turned her body and aimed the black pistol at Grimm. Riza cursed in the darkness as she tried to aim. She was finally able to shoot without being interrupted by Grimm's katana, but she couldn't see. _I can't see her in the dark._ She scoffed to herself, her teeth clenching in frustration, waiting for the lightening to light the room up again.

"GIVE IT!" Saff roared as she hit the third man in the back of the head with her fist.

"Ow!" he snapped, but still held onto the book.

The two cats glanced at each other. "Mwu?" Kiro asked.

Kiari stared back at the white cat, knowing full well how she could help. She just needed to wait for the right moment. Which appeared to be right now. The gray and black cat casually walked over to a corner of the room where she knew the floor was weak. "Nya!" her meow rang out.

"Huh?" the third man asked, Kiari had gotten his, Vis', and Saff's attention.

"What was that?" Vis asked as he looked over in the cat's direction.

"Errr…" the third man growled. He handed the book back to Saff, not caring about her anymore.

"AH!" she said with excitement and victory. A big grin appeared on her face as she snatched the book out of his hand and held it to her chest tightly. Her grin then stretched from ear to ear as she nuzzled her precious pages.

"Nya…" Kiari said again as her green eyes flashed with the lightening. Then Kiro got in on it. She followed Kiari's lead and sat next to the gray and black cat, her red eyes flashed as well.

"Muw!" she said as the men walked toward them.

"What was that?" Vis asked curiously as the two men walked toward the area where the cats' eyes had flashed.

"Nya!" Kiari said, somewhat furiously.

"Beh…" the third man spat as he stepped closer. It didn't take long, once Vis stood next to him they began to hear the floor cracking under them.

"Huh?" they said in unison as they glanced down at the floor. The cracking got louder as the wood gave way below them in a flash, smoke appeared everywhere. Their bodies fell down and hit the floor with a thud before they could even guess what was going on.

"Muw…" Kiro said again, they could hear the two men moaning from the floor below them.

"Nya, nya!" Kiari replied as she walked out to the hole, in the usual casual cat fashion, and looked down the hole. Her green cat eyes could see perfectly in the dark. "…nya…" she said when she saw the men laying on their backs at the bottom, covered in dust.

"Hey…" Saff said in a loud whiny voice as she flipped through the pages, "you lost my page."

Reina laughed a little, "They got catted!"

Sayo sat a little ways away from her, she didn't notice the cats. She was too busy watching Roy and Jackal.

"Errrrr…. why you…" Jackal jeered as he glared up at Roy. Their faces flashing with the lightening. Jackal's face was enraged, but Roy's was cool and calm.

"I would suggest you give up," the Lieutenant Colonel said coolly, "unless you want to get hurt."

Jackal sneered, trying to figure out what to do. He scooted back a bit, trying to create some distance between himself and Roy.

"He-" Shadow was about to call out to Jackal, but was once again stopped by Tommy.

"What did I tell you?" the boy scolded.

Shadow growled irritatedly, but quickly focused on Jackal. He saw the men just a few feet in front of him. He was going to tell Jackal about the sais right behind him, but Jackal found something better.

"Huh?" the muscular man asked as his fingers touched some cold metal just behind him. He moved his hand, tracing the object with his fingers, not turning to look at it. That might give him away; he wanted to trick his enemy. "Heh," his disgusted expression turned to a smirk when he found it was Riza's pistol.

"Well?" Roy asked as the lightening boomed again. "Are you going to give up?"

"Yeah, give up you meanie!" Reina said and stuck out her tongue, she was now standing in front of Sayo, clinging to Roy's pant leg.

Jackal didn't reply. The lightening flashed; Roy saw the smirk on his face. His face became serious as he immediately jumped to the left, knowing Jackal was going to try and attack him.

"Eh!" Reina cried out in surprised as she felt Roy's sudden movement, she had been leaning on him, his moving caused her to lose her balance and fall on the floor.

Roy disappeared along with the flash of light. "I've got you now!" Jackal pulled the gun out fast firing blindly into the dark.

_Bang!_

"AH!-" Sayo gasped as her eyes widened. She suddenly felt a mind numbing pain overcome her body as she was hit in the left side of her stomach.

"Huh?" Reina asked as she looked over at Sayo. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Sayo didn't answer, her lime eyes rolled back into her head and she fell face down on the floor.

"SAYO!" Reina screamed as she rushed to her side. Roy quickly turned to the girls. Reina was shaking Sayo violently, but the little dark haired girl didn't respond at all.

Jackal jeered, disgust plastered on his face when he learned he had missed. Roy lunged forward and before Jackal could react. He grabbed the large man's fist, pointing the gun to the ceiling and away from everyone around.

_Bang!_ The gun fired as the two men struggled.

_Bang! Bang!_ The gun continued to fire as Roy tried to wrestle Jackal to the ground. Once he got him there he'd be able to force his arms to the floor, holding Jackal still, much like what Riza was trying to do to Grimm earlier.

"SAYO!" Reina cried again, but she still didn't respond. The thunder boomed loudly again.

Riza ran to Reina's side. Grimm wasn't following her for the moment; she was still struggling with her sword. "What's wrong?" Riza asked as she picked up Sayo's limp body and turned her over, laying her on her lap. The seven year old girl lay unconscious in her arms. "What happened to her?" She asked as she looked over at Reina, Roy and Jackal still fighting behind them. She heard strange gurgling noising when Sayo tried to breathe.

"I dunno," Reina replied as she watched the military dog shake Sayo, trying to walk her up. "Master was fighting Jazz's dad and she just fell down."

Riza's eyes widened when she moved her hand over Sayo's chest and felt a warm wet substance consuming the front of her shirt. She knew it was blood, but she wasn't about to tell Reina that Jackal's gunshot has pierced the girl's flesh "Lieutenant Colonel!" she yelled and turned to look behind her. Roy had successfully pinned Jackal to the floor.

He glanced back at her, still forcing Jackal's arms to the floor. The rampaging man fought back with a vengeance, but Roy managed to hold him down. It wasn't the easiest job in the world, but he managed.

"Sir, we need to get out of here now!" Riza said her voice stern and serious.

Roy nodded. _Easier said then done._ He thought as he turned back to Jackal.

AN: So what did you think? More cliffhangers, lol. I hope it still made sense even with all the switching between fights!


	34. Who Said Dogs Were Man’s Best Friend?

AN: Hello all, I'm gonna try my best to keep these short!

Sugar High: Yes, I know why Psychotic Manifestation said that, too. It's ok, I agree in a lot of ways, but at this point I'm not sure if I can fix it. Sweat drops. Awww, I'm very sorry your friend is moving, but you can still talk to her on the phone, right? And she's not moving like… across the country or anything. So maybe you could visit each other every now and then. I'm glad my story made you feel at least a little better. A sneer is (I looked it up because I wasn't sure how to describe it XD. This is what I found) _A scornful facial expression characterized by a slight raising of one corner of the upper lip._OR (this was there,too.) _To assume a scornful, contemptuous, or derisive facial expression_. Did that help at all?

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 34: Who Said Dogs Were Man's Best Friend?

"Let me go! I'll kill you!" Jackal snapped as he tried to fight Roy off.

"That's exactly why I'm not letting you go," Roy replied as he forced him down, "it's not always smart to speak your mind."

Jackal snarled fiercely. The lightening flashed again; he could see Roy's face for the spit second the bolt appeared. Roy just stared down at him. His face was calm, but his body was tense as his arm stung and his neck ached.

"Sir!" Riza said again. Then her attention quickly went back to Sayo. She put her hand under Sayo's dark black shirt, looking for where the bullet punctured her skin; she found it on the upper left side of the girl's abdomen. She put her free hand on top of Sayo's shirt, she then pulled her other hand out from under the fabric, and it was covered in blood, and then she began to push down on the wounded area with both hands, trying to stop the bleeding.

"What are you doing?" Reina asked. "What's wrong with Sayo? Why won't she wake up?" she asked, tears in her dark brown eyes and confusion on her face. The lightening flashed again. Reina saw Riza's hands in the flash of light. "What's that?" she asked as she saw the red blood smeared all over the dog's skin.

She didn't reply. She was too busy with Sayo to think about Reina. She leaned over on the little girl, putting all her weight down on her hands, trying to get the bleeding to stop. _What do we do?_ Riza wondered. Escaping truly wouldn't be easy. She needed to come up with a creative way to get out of this one.

"Dammit!" Grimm spat and cursed as she tried to pull out her katana. She jerked it back and forth, trying to free the blade from its wooden prison. _I thought this stupid wood was falling apart. That's just my luck. I get the only two stable planks in this stupid place._ She grumbled irritability to herself.

Shadow was doing some cursing of his own, but Tommy prevented him from saying any of it. He was getting frustrated with a few things. Number one, he was being held hostage by two kids, which was the most absurd thing that has ever happened to him. Number two, Jackal was struggling with Roy when he had a gun in one hand and two sais right behind him. Three, Vis and the third man had been outsmarted by cats. Four, Grimm's blade was stuck. Five, Hell's Fire was also being held up by two kids, and last but not least, number six, Ice, Saff, and Lex were just watching and not helping them at all! _This is the most absurd thing I've ever seen. What ever happened to the great gang we were before these two military mutts got here?_ He jeered as he tried to get Tommy off him again, but failing miserably.

Tommy laughed and teased Shadow. A chilly draft blew through the entire building, sending a shiver up almost everyone's spines as the wind howled in the storm.

Riza continued to look around the room, the darkness was not aiding her in her search for means of escape. "Huh?" she asked, somewhat startled when she saw a green flash. She smirked when she realized it was Kiari.

"Nya?" the black and gray cat cocked her head to the left in confusion. _Why is she looking at me like_ that?

"Let go!" Hell's Fire snarled. She was getting fed up with Kenny and didn't care about Jazz anymore. She pulled her arm away from her chest, releasing Jazz.

"SAYO!" Jazz cried and raced toward Riza, tears in her brown eyes. She had seen Sayo collapse as well; it killed her that she wasn't able to go to her friend's side from the start.

"Jazz?" Riza asked in surprise when then little black haired girl grabbed her arm. She was now surrounded by little girls. Seven year old Sayo lay on her lap, five year old Jazz at her left side, clinging to her arm, and ten year old Reina at her right. "Where's Kenny?" she asked, her head shot up in Kenny's direction, still pushing down on Sayo. Her fingers felt hot and sticky as the blood oozed between them.

"I've had enough of you! Your fire has burned itself out! Now it's time to put you out!" Hell's Fire snapped. Her eyes flashed as she lifted her hand high in the air, ready to strike Kenny. She was planning on hitting him in the back of the neck, this caused the person to fall unconscious, and that's just what she wanted.

"Jazz!" Kenny whined, upset she had left him there alone. His dark gold eyes darted around the room, trying to find Jazz in the dark. He had no idea Hell's Fire was about to hit him. The thunder boomed loudly, as if the sky it self was fighting in the quarrel.

The lightening flashed just long enough for the girls to catch a glimpse of what was happening. "Kenny, watch out!" Reina gasped as her dark brown eyes widened.

"Kenny!" Riza shouted, she knew Hell's Fire was about to hit him. She wanted to go help, but had to stay with Sayo. She could hear Sayo's gurgling get louder as she tried gasping for breath, but she couldn't take her amber eyes off Kenny. She wanted to shoot, but Kenny's body blocked Hell's Fire's, preventing her from firing at the dark haired teen. She watched Kenny, but her mind was still on Sayo, little thoughts racing through her mind. _That noise she's making, her lung is filling with blood. The bullet must have been shot at a strange angle, entering in her abdomen but traveling up slightly and puncturing her lung. The blood is now rushing in. It's possible the lung has collapsed. _

Roy, Jackal, Shadow, Tommy, Blare, and Grimm were too busy with what they were doing to notice.

"Muw?" Kiro said as she watched from the shadows. Her red eyes flashed and became enraged. Old memories began to flood her mind as her body began to tingle with a burning hate. Before she was taken in by Sayo she belonged to one of the gangsters. The man beat her furiously. She remembered the pose he took just before he struck her; it was the same pose Hell's Fire was taking right at that moment. "Rrawwu!" (sorry, dunno how to make cat noises) She hissed furiously. Her claws emerged from her brown tipped paws and her white fur stood up straight on her back.

"Nya?" Kiari looked behind her when she heard the white cat hiss and throw a fit.

Kiro continued to hiss and snarl viciously. She then took off out into the open Hell's Fire was her target. Her small cat paws not making any noise as they pounded furiously on the wood.

Riza suddenly became confused when she saw Kiro's white body charging through the room. Her white fur stood out vividly against the black darkness.

"Go, Kiro! She's at it again!" Reina said with a little laugh.

"What's going on?" Riza asked when she saw Kiro was headed for Hell's Fire. She then looked down at Reina, expecting and answer. Jazz was too busy crying over Sayo to care about Kiro.

"Oh, Kiro was beaten before Sayo found her. I guess the man always hit her cause whenever someone does that she attacks them. Doesn't matter if she knows them or not, she still attacks them. You should have seen when she attacked Blare. He was scared for months," she replied with a smile.

"AHHHHHH!" Hell's Fire screamed bloody murder as she felt Kiro run up her back and then dig her deadly claws into her dark hair, planting themselves into her scalp.

Roy looked away from Jackal in confusion when his dark eyes hit Hell's Fire. She was now standing up and almost appeared to be dancing. She had both hands on her head, trying to pull Kiro off, screaming like mad, and jumping around as she did it.

"Ow, you know that hurts," Kenny laughed as he watched Hell's Fire struggle. "Just ask Blare, Kiro did that to him once."

"Kenny!" Riza shouted when she noticed Hell's Fire wasn't watching him, "Get over here now!"

"Ok," he replied and walked over to the girls. He smirked when he saw Tommy, Blare, and Shadow just behind the bickering men. He scampered passed Roy and Jackal, at a very fast pace. Even though it appeared the Lieutenant Colonel had the upper hand, he was still scared of the gangsters.

Kenny proceeded to Riza and the girls, but stopped just long enough to tease Shadow. "What's wrong?" he asked with an evil smile as he bent down to look Shadow in the eyes. Yes, he was scared of the thugs, but he couldn't pass up an opportunity like this. "Are you having trouble reaching this?" he asked as he picked up the sai one in one hand, then he walked back a few feet and picked up the second one.

Shadow watched him in confusion, his mouth still cupped by Tommy. _He's not actually going to give me my sais is he? If he does I'll slice him and these other brats to bits. _

Kenny flashed an evil grin. Then he walked over to the hole, Kiari still sat next to it.

"Nya?" the little cat asked as she looked up at the cinnamon haired boy.

The smirk on Kenny's face grew as he looked back at Shadow, then he held his arms out and opened his hands, releasing his grip on the sais. The two weapons flashed as they fell down into the darkness, they hit the floor with a clang. Well one did anyway. He smiled proudly, "Opps... did I do that? Clumsy me."

A little shout was heard from the basement, it was Vis, "Ow… something poked me in the butt!"

Reina found that very amusing. She cupped her hands around her mouth to yell, "Maybe it's a snake!"

"A SNAKE?" Vis shouted followed by a bunch of destructive noises as he stomped the ground, trying to crush the head of the 'snake'. "Ahhh! It's the snake!" he shouted as his foot hit a board, he tripped over it in his hast. A thud was heard as he fell flat on his face. "Ooooohhhhoooo…" he moaned. The blow made his sore body ache even more. "I think… I got the snake…"

"Ahhhh, damn cat!" Hell's Fire shrieked as she yanked on Kiro's thin body.

"Hm?" Grimm's gaze immediately went to her sister. "What was that?" she asked angrily, her blue eyes as cold as ever. Grimm also had her strange ways. She was a cold hearted fighter, but she loved cats to death.

"Reina," Riza said getting her mind off all the crazy things that were happening and back to her escape plan.

"Yes?" she asked. Jazz looked at Riza as well.

"Didn't you say only you and Kenny knew the stairs were in the basement?" Riza asked. The thunder roared again. The rain was letting up, but the lightening and thunder didn't seem to be slowing down at all.

"Uh… yeah…" Reina replied, somewhat confused as to what the military dog was getting at.

Riza's attention then went to Jazz, "Can you get that cat to come over here?" she asked, motioning her head towards Kiari, who sat by the newly made hole, trying to figure out what was going on, as well and licking her front paw and rubbing it against her dark face.

Jazz looked up at Riza with tear filled eyes, "Uh-huh," she nodded as she sniffed.

"Good," Riza replied as she looked back at Roy. _If only the Lieutenant Colonel knows the stairs are there… then that means…_ She calculated to herself, trying to think how this little escapade was going to turn out. "Can you get her to get the men's attention? Just for a moment? I need them to focus on her until I can get a flash of lightening."

"I… c-can… try-y," Jazz said through her tears. She then got up and walked beside Roy and Jackal, she wasn't right beside them, they knew something was up if she was right there. So she stood back a few feet, hidden in the dark. "Here-e kitty, k-kitty, kitty-y," Jazz whispered and sniffed, hoping they wouldn't hear her. "Come h-here, Kiari-i, come here, g-girl," she cooed. She knelt on one knee, holding out her small hand toward the cat.

"Nya?" Kiari stopped licking her fur and looked at Jazz, curiosity in her green eyes.

"Come h-here, K-Kiari," Jazz whispered again, tears still sliding down her cheeks as she continued to watch Sayo from the corner of her eye.

Riza got into position. She had no choice but the release the pressure she was putting on Sayo's wound. She gently laid the little girl on the ground and turned to Roy and Jackal, slowly and quietly. She raised the black pistol. Sayo's dark blood smearing all over the black steel frame. Reina just stood quietly next to her and watched, soon joined by Kenny.

_This better work._ Riza thought to herself as a bead of sweat traveled down the side of her face. She waited for Kiari to make her move. She'd never had a cat before, but she knew how they operated. Kiari would run over toward Jazz, and then jump on Roy's back, looking at Jazz curiously, waiting to see what Jazz had in mind before she actually walked over to her. All Riza needed was that little bit of weight that Kiari possessed.

The cat meowed again. She blinked a few times before she started over toward Jazz. She started out in a creeping fashion, then she got more comfortable the farther out she got, eventually leading into a bounding type gallop. She approached Roy and took a running leap.

"Don't move, sir!" Riza said just before Kiari's black feet came down on the Lieutenant Colonel's back.

Roy flashed a confused an annoyed expression when he felt the weight on his back. Kiari's paws felt like four pressure points on his skin as they planted themselves firmly on the navy blue material. Cats did this as a precaution, so they wouldn't lose their balance. _I hate cats. _He thought as his eyebrow twitched a little, but he knew his Second Lieutenant had a plan, so he did as instructed. Praying he wouldn't end up like Hell's Fire, whom he could still hear screaming on the other end of the room.

"Nya?" Kiari asked as she stood on Roy's back. Her green eyes blinked as she looked at Jazz, her ears twitched in confusion as her dark tail swayed back and forth slowly.

_Come on._ Riza thought to herself, hoping the lightening would flash before Kiari left her perch. Without Kiari's body weight this would never work. Her amber eyes widened when the lightening sent a violent flicker of light throughout the land and she saw Shadow and the two boys behind Roy. Because of this she missed her chance.

"What did you stop for?" Kenny asked. He flashed a grin when he found out what Riza was going to do; now he stared up at her in confusion and disappointment.

"I don't want to hurt them," she said as she stared at Tommy and Blare, trying to figure out a new way to go about doing this.

Hearing this, Reina looked up from Sayo with a confused expression, and saw the boys a few feet behind Roy and Jackal. She then combined the little information she had and quickly figured out Riza's plan.

_How am I going to make this work?_ Riza cursed to herself as she clenched her jaws in frustration.

"Don't worry, it's ok," Reina said as she looked up at her with a smile.

Kiari meowed and cocked her head to the left in confusion, trying to ponder what Jazz had in store for her. She'd never seen Jazz act like this before. Fist the little girl gestured to her that she wanted her to come, but now she acting as if she doesn't want her to come. The cat sat on the Lieutenant Colonel, dumbfounded as to what she was to do.

_Just stay there for a minute, girl._ Jazz said to herself as she held her hands out, palms facing Kiari, in a 'stop and stay' gesture.

"What do you mean?" Riza asked as she stared down at Reina. She usually didn't take advice from kids, but Reina was from around here and knew this place better then she did. She was also up for any ideas the kids might come up with. _Anything that can help._ She thought as she looked back to Roy. Jackal didn't seem to notice the black and gray cat on his back.

_Any day now._ The superior officer thought as he glanced at Riza out of the corner of his dark eye. He was having a hard time holding still enough for Kiari to stay put.

Reina stared at Tommy and the other two as well. "Don't worry; they're far enough back that they won't fall. It only collapses a few inches from where the weight was. They are a few feet away, so they are in the clear."

"Yeah," Kenny interrupted and crossed his arms over his chest proudly, "and I threw his fork thingies in the hole by Vis and that other guy, so Jazz's dad can't attack with them."

Riza smiled with relief. Then she aimed again, waiting for the next lightening bolt.

Roy sneered irritatedly. _Oh now she does it. She only missed the last three. _

Riza's grip on the black pistol tightened, just then her eyes widened and she pulled the gun close to her face, examining it.

"What's wrong now?" Kenny asked. It was kind of getting ridiculous.

A little thought suddenly overcame the female sharpshooter and she opened the chamber of the gun. _Only two bullets left._ She told herself. She wasn't nervous, she never got nervous, but a hint of doubt began to set in.

"Hurry up, Lieutenant!" Roy snapped. He couldn't help himself. His arm ached and he knew he was going to lose this current battle if his subordinate didn't do something soon.

"Yes, sir!" she replied in her stern solider tone. She quickly closed the chamber. The gun snapped as the chamber clicked into place. She took aim and waited for the lightening to flash again.

"Mwurw!" Kiro hissed as she continued her assault on Hell's Fire's skull. The teen continued to scream as she tried to pull the cat off, but to no avail. If anything she was just making Kiro dig her claws in farther.

Grimm and the others were still busy doing other things or just watching. Lex was one of the men watching. He didn't make any moves to help either of his daughters. He could hear Hell's Fire crying out in agony, but made no attempt to aid her. Lex was kind of funny that way. He was proud of his daughters, but in a way he was neglectful like Jackal. As long as they improved in their fighting and did as told he was proud, but the minute they needed aid he left them to fend for themselves. He didn't care if they were killed or not. It wasn't his problem. He wouldn't be around when they were supposed to take over the gang anyway, why should he worry about it?

"Lieutenant!" Roy snapped again as he glanced back at Riza. He saw the black pistol aimed right at him. Just then the lightening flashed.

"I apologize in advance for this, sir!" she replied and pulled the trigger.

_Bang! Bang!_

The two bullets flew through the air. They whizzed on the sides of the men's bodies and lodged themselves in the floor on the left and right sides of them. They weren't completely dead center like Riza had wanted, but she didn't have that long to aim, and with Roy's arms flying up and down trying to force Jackal down she didn't exactly have a free shot. The bullets weakened the floor around them just enough that they would give way.

Roy's eyes widened when he heard the floor cracking below them.

"Nya?" Kiari said as her cat curiosity got to her and she looked over Roy's shoulder and at the floor, not bothering to jump off.

"Damn you!" Jackal snarled and spit in up in Roy's direction. He was a little too far to the right.

"NYA!" Kiari flinched as the nasty liquid hit her in the face. She jumped back with surprise, digging her claws into Roy's back.

"ARRRRHHHHH!" Roy snapped in surprise and he jerked his arms down. An adrenaline rush shot through his body from the sudden sharp sensation.

_Crrreeeeeeaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk_.

The floor moaned as it started to cave slowly but quickly sped up and collapsed under them.

"NYAAAAAA!" Kiari cried as she and the men fell down the hole.

They hit the floor with a loud thud. Dust was kicked up everywhere and began to settle on them after a few moments. Roy lifted his head up sorely and coughed, trying to get the dust that was lodged in his throat out. He glanced around and saw Jackal lying underneath him.

"Ooooooohooooooohhhhooooo…" Jackal moaned sleepily. The fall had clearly knocked the wind out of him.

Kiari sat before them. She had safely landed on her feet and was now licking the dust off the gray part of her coat. "Nya?" she looked up when she got a sudden shiver down her spine. Her green eyes flashed when she saw Roy glaring at her evilly.

_I… hate…. cats…._ he scoffed to himself as he pushed off Jackal's immobilized body and stood up.

"Are you alright, sir?" Riza asked as she looked down the hole, Kenny and Reina by her side. Jazz had gone back to Sayo, trying to wake her up again.

"Master?" Reina asked after a few minutes of silence.

He glared up at Riza. "You had better be glad the Fuhrer didn't make you under my orders while we were out here. You would have just gotten in big trouble for that little stunt."

Her face became confused for a moment until the memory came rushing back to her. _That's right._ She thought as the scene replayed in her mind, it was in the Fuhrer's office.

"_I've gone over the report carefully and I can clearly see the problem. Second Lieutenant Hawkeye, Lieutenant Colonel Mustang. I have decided to give you both an assignment as your punishment. You are now assigned on a mission; you will both go to the outskirts of town and take care of the street gangs over there. Apparently, the police have been having real problems with them for quite awhile. None of their men have the skills to take them down, and after seeing the damage you two have caused and neither of you have a scratch. I see you are perfectly qualified to take on this assignment," he informed them, "Now, I am well aware of the situation between you two, and Mustang. I know you are the commanding officer here, but on this mission I give Lieutenant Hawkeye my permission to go over your head and avoid orders if she thinks it is needed."_

The Fuhrer's words rung in Riza's ears.

"Good work…" Roy finally spit out knowing Riza had just saved them from Jackal. There really wasn't anyway around it. He then looked around the dark room. He saw Vis and the third man lying on the ground, still moaning. They could get up; they just didn't feel like it. Their bodies ached as they choked on the thick dust. He saw the silver sais flash with the lightening. He turned back to Jackal and continued surveying the area. A few feet away from his hand lay Riza's gun. He picked it up then headed for the stairs, in his cool casual way.

Kenny quickly ran over to Vis' hole. "Haha! He knows a shortcut!"

A few seconds later the small door at the bottom of the stairs opened and Roy's head popped out.

Grimm stood under the stairs, she watched Roy with cold eyes. There was nothing she could do without any weapons, so she stayed quiet. _There were stairs there?_

Roy walked over to the kids and came face to face with Riza. "Here," he said as he handed her her gun.

"Thank you, sir," she replied in her soldier tone, but it was slightly different, like she was a little nervous and unsure of herself. Roy was looking down at her in a strange way, like he admired her. After a few seconds she took her gun from his hand. She stared at him for a moment, studying him. He seemed different somehow, like he was calmer then before, or something.

Roy noticed the blood on Riza's hand and walked over to Sayo, Jazz still crying at her side. He bent over and picked the small body up. She was still alive, her body still held some warmth. He looked over her as he listened to her raspy breathing. Jazz stared up at him. Her tears were still steaming down her cheeks. Roy gave her a friendly reassuring smile. "Let's go help her."

The small girl gave a small smile and a nod as reply. She stood up as Roy walked toward the door, she followed close behind.

_What's gotten into him?_ Riza wondered as she watched her superior for a few moments, and then followed after him. Reina and Kenny running in front of her, trying to catch up with the Flame Alchemist.

"Hey!" Wait for us!" Tommy hollered as he and Blare released Shadow and hurried after their friends.

"Finally," Shadow growled as he scrambled up. He started after Roy. His boots began pounding on the wood.

Grimm watched, once she saw Lex was making no move to stop the dogs she cut in, "Shadow, stop!"

The dark-haired teen stopped dead in his tracks and stared back at Grimm.

"Let them go," she replied to his confused face. "My father has other plans."

Shadow just nodded. Then he turned back to the door, just in time to see the military dogs slip out with the kids.

Just before Roy had left Lex gave him a cold stare. "We'll be seeing each other soon," he said coldly as Roy and Riza passed by. Roy just gave him a small nod and left. Riza was a little confused by this.

_Why are they letting us go?_ She wondered, but didn't say anything. The kids were confused as well; Jazz clung to her pant leg as they passed Lex. Once they got out into the open Roy dashed down the soaking street.

He bent over a little, trying to shield Sayo's body from the cold rain. He glanced back at Riza, "Hurry, she won't last much longer!" he shouted, already a good distance away. He was looking for a safe spot to lay the small girl down before Lex decided it was time to 'meet' again.

Riza was a little confused, but her stern look returned quickly as she followed. Her boots felt heavy in the wet sand as the rain soaked them to the bone. The thunder boomed as she followed his dark form through the storm. Jazz still clung to her leg. The other kids ran close behind Roy. Their small arms either folded over their chests in an attempt to stay warm, or over their heads trying to shield themselves from the falling water droplets.


	35. Promises and the Nightmares Left Behind

AN: HI guys, thanks for the reviews! Thanks so much! I mean it! This chapter might be longer then most I'm not sure (hasn't been keeping up with chapters' length) but for you old readers I added in a new part that I thought would fit well. I hope so anyway! If it doesn't I can always delete it later. I just thought since you are nice enough to read it _all_ again, that I'd add something new just for you!

Sugar High: sweat drops. Either you read it wrong or I made a horrible typo. Maybe you read it wrong, or maybe I wrote it wrong, I'm not sure. But Sayo isn't a dog. She's a little girl, k? Maybe it had 'dog' somewhere near her name. I tend to use it as another word for Roy or Riza. I get sick of just typing names or 'he' and 'she' over and over again. So I put 'dog' sometimes. You know, as in 'dog of the military'. Merr... that could be a reason for the fast updating. This was already written. But as I recall, last time I wrote it I updated everyday or almost everyday. Right? Glances over at old readers. Lol, I liked your assassin thing; that was funny.

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 35: Promises and the Nightmares Left Behind Them

"Damn," Jackal cursed when he awoke a few minutes later to see Shadow looking down at him.

"They got away," Shadow informed him, his tone serious and stern. His yellow eyes flashed like a cat's in the lightening.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hell's Fire continued to scream as she pulled on Kiro. Her voice held the slight evidence of becoming hoarse from shouting.

Shadow glanced over and watched her from across the room. Lex and Ice watched as well. Ice was beginning to turn rather pale. He was having a heck of a time stopping the bleeding from the gunshot wound in his arm. He managed to slow the bleeding, but the flow didn't stop. Grimm still struggled with her katana. The blade flashed as she twisted it back and forth, the sharp edge was beginning to eat away at the old wood. The weapon was beginning to pry itself loose.

Kiro hissed furiously as she attacked the teen. "Mwu?" she said when her red eyes looked up and saw her friends had all gone. "MWUUU!" she shouted as she released Hell's Fire's skull and jumped off the girl's tense body, bounding across the dark room and out a hole in the far wall, running off in the same direction the military dogs had gone.

"Ow…" Hell's Fire sneered as she dropped down to her knees, tears in her fire-like eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall. She was a gangster, not a weak little girl. She clenched her eyes shut, her body still tight and shaking from the shock. Her hands rubbed her scalp, several black stands of hair slipping between her fingers. On her pale skin you could see blood which had come seeping up from her scratch wounds. The thick, hot, sticky, red liquid shown plainly smeared on her fingers, while several lines of it ran down the sides of her face. She cursed again as she regained herself and wiped the blood off her face with her arm. She then turned and glared in the direction Roy and the others had run off in.

Jackal scoffed and growled as he sat up. The thick layer dust began to fall off his chest and onto his pants as he forced himself up. The thin layer of dust remained, clinging to the black leather of his jacket.

"Nya…" a faint meow was heard behind him.

Jackal gained a slight confused expression and looked behind him, hate in his grey eyes. He saw Kiari sitting a few feet behind him, cleaning her fur with her rough tongue, and whining that she couldn't get the thick dust out of her coat.

She looked up at Jackal when she heard him snarl, curiosity in her keen cat eyes.

"You…" he hissed angrily. The lightening flashed along with Kiari's piercing eyes. From the corner of his eye came another flash of light. His attention quickly went to it. He saw one of Shadow's sais lying by Vis, who still weren't in the mood to get up. He smirked as he crawled over to the fork-like weapon. He picked it up by the long blade in the middle, careful not to cut his fingers on the sharp edge, and then he threw it in the air, it twirled around and came back down, then caught it by the handle. Jackal glanced back at Kiari. The little cat had gone back to cleaning herself.

"What are you doing?" Shadow asked when he saw Jackal had one of his weapons.

"I'm going to rid the world of this reached beast," he snapped as he walked back over to the unsuspecting creature. "I hate cats…" he said aloud and raised the sai high over Kiari's head. The cat didn't seem to notice, either that, or she didn't know it was a threat.

Grimm's attention snapped to Shadow and the hole when she heard the 'I hate cats' remark.

"Don't use my sai! You'll get blood all over it. I don't want the blood of a cat to stain the silver metal when the blades should be tainted with human blood!" the foreign teen snapped. His face became enraged when he saw what Jackal was going to do.

_He better not._ Grimm jeered when she realized Jackal was going to slash Kiari into little bits. Her whole body had a tingling sensation. She growled as she pulled on the blade. Adrenaline rushed through her veins, giving her a boost of energy. She pulled back furiously and the thunder roared angrily as the blade exploded from its wooden prison.

"Don't worry," Jackal said as he stared at Kiari, "I've heard they tend to favor cats in hell," he flashed an evil grin as he brought the sai down hard and fast.

"STOP!" he heard Grimm's voice bellow through the entire building. The tone in her voice held more hate then ever before.

Jackal looked up just in time to see Grimm jump down the hole and land in front of him.

_Ouch, I didn't think it was that deep._ She cursed. Her feet had hit the concrete floor of the basement hard, causing great pain to appear in her ankles and radiate throughout her entire body. She clenched her jaws as the sharp pain kept shooting up her spine.

_Damn._ She sneered again, but the pain refused to stop. She saw Jackal turn back to Kiari. He was ignoring her orders completely. Her rage went up about five notches on the scale and her glare even more so. Forgetting about the sever pain she dashed toward Jackal. "I SAID HAULT!" she snapped and brought her blade forward at a fast pace.

Jackal snarled with surprise. He stopped dead in his tracks as a bead of sweat came traveling down his forehead. His body didn't move an inch, but his gray eyes looked down. Grimm's face was mere inches below his. 'The look' was worse then normal, much worse. Her icy-blue eyes were enraged, like the storm inside her heart was enough to freeze hell over. Another bead of sweat traveled down his brow. He could feel the cold steel of Grimm's katana pressed against the flesh of his throat. Small trickles of blood came out from under the blade.

"If you hurt that cat," Grimm said her voice was cold and dead serious, "Then I'll cut your head off."

Jackal's face became displeased, but seeing no other alterative to his predicament. He lowered the sai reluctantly.

"Master," Reina whined as they ran through the storm. Her small thin arms were folded over her chest and she was hunched over a bit, trying to keep the cold water droplets off her face, "its cold."

Roy didn't reply, he just ran. Sayo was enclosed tightly in his arms. He was trying to do two things. Number one, was keep Sayo warm and dry, second was probably the bigger concern, stop the bleeding.

"Master…." she whined again. The rain water slid down her dark brown hair, making it an even darker shade and her pigtails felt heavy as they pulled a little on her scalp. It irritated her a bit. It was the one time when she remembered she had pigtails.

"Stop complaining!" Kenny snapped, "It's only a little rain."

"Rain?" Reina asked, like the word 'rain' had jogged her memory and a scary secret that had just popped out in the open.

"Where are we going?" Jazz asked as she clung to Riza, trying to keep warm.

"Somewhere safe," the Lieutenant replied as they jogged through the rain.

"Where's that?" Jazz asked as she looked up at Riza, then back down at the ground so she wouldn't trip. The sand was also a dark color, and it felt thick under her bare feet and between her toes as the thousands upon thousands of tiny particles soaked up all the water.

"Where ever the Lieutenant Colonel goes," Riza replied. This remark was a mix of two emotions. One was the fact she knew Roy would find a safe spot. The other was the feeling that Roy would protect her- uh… them if needed.

"Oh…" Jazz said quietly as her brown eyes locked on Roy. She wasn't too sure what to make of Riza's response, but she said something about going with 'the daddy', who believed he was the master of something she had yet to discover. So she was going to watch him like a hawk.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Reina's blood curdling scream cut through the storm as she stopped frantically and hopped around on her tip toes, a very distressed look on her face.

"What is it?" Roy asked as he turned around suddenly, thinking she had seen a gangster, or worse, been hit by one.

"What's wrong?" Riza asked as she and Jazz quickened their pace and now stood just a few feet behind Reina. Riza panted in and out heavily, the hot breath being forced out of her nostrils and mouth could be seen in the chilly air. One arm covered the wound on her stomach. It was only a scratch, the bleeding had already stopped, but that didn't mean it didn't sting. Normally this little jog wouldn't faze her at all, but at that time-of-the-month she really wasn't in the mood for lots of exercise, and it made her cramps worse.

"Are you alright, Lieutenant?" Roy asked when he noticed Riza looked rather pale. Then his eyes diverted themselves to the wound on her stomach. He still held Sayo tight in his arms. He could feel her breathing in and out slowly. He looked over his Second Lieutenant, and saw that the navy blue fabric of Riza's uniform was dark around the wound, it was soaked with blood. The water that was also soaking her uniform made the wound appear worse then it really was. He walked over to her, about to examine it when her stern voice cut in.

"Yes, I'm fine, sir," she replied, trying to keep her voice strong, but failing miserably as the deep breathing spaced her words, and the pain made it crack.

Reina continued to hop around beside them. Her brown eyes were frantically darting across the sand.

"Would you stop that?" Tommy asked Reina in a rude tone. His brown eyes glared at her evilly as the water dripped of his blonde bangs. "I'm getting soaked, and it's cold out here!"

"What's the matter?" Roy asked again as he looked back at Reina.

"IT'S... RAINING!" Reina shrieked with great terror in her voice.

"Yes, and?" Riza asked not too sure as to what Reina was really getting at.

"Worms come out in the rain! I hate worms!" Reina said as she continued to hop around. She was scared to death that a worm would pop out of the sand under her feet. She knew worms came out in the rain. "They're so slimy, and long, and squishy! I hate them! They're gross!"

"Uh?" Riza looked at her superior in confusion.

Roy just gave a little sigh, showing he didn't know what to do either, and this was a stupid reason to be stopping. "Come on," he said when he looked from Reina and back to the pathway in front of them. "We need to find a safe dry spot."

"Yes, sir," Riza replied with a nod. Her stern tone returned when she caught her breath.

Then Roy took off running again.

"NO! WORMS! DON'T! MOVE!" Reina shouted.

Riza flashed an irritated look. She wasn't in the mood for nonsense. But she held in her emotions and picked up the scampering little girl. She flinched a little as Reina's weight pressed on her stomach wound, but she followed her commanding officer at a quick pace.

They ran for a few minutes. Roy looked in and around the buildings as they ran passed them. "In here," he said after he found one he thought was suitable. It wasn't the best place. He was sure he could have found something better, but they really didn't have the time to look at all the buildings.

He quickly ran in through the door… or where the door used to be, followed by the pounding feet of Kenny, Tommy, and Blare. After a few seconds Riza ran in, Reina in her arms and Jazz still clinging to her leg.

Riza looked around the room a little bit. It was very big. There were windows lined across all the walls except for the one they had just come in through. It held a door at one time, but the wall was bare and held no evidence of windows ever abiding in it. All the windows were covered with boards; they appeared to have been placed better then on the pervious building. This building was in better shape then the rest. The floor wasn't as weak and it was the walls were covered better, keeping out lots of the storm. It did creak from the blowing wind, but it didn't sway back and forth like many of the others did.

Riza's attention was quickly taken off her surroundings when she heard the sound of Sayo gasping and coughing. She immediately looked over toward Roy. He was a few feet away, kneeling on the floor. Sayo was lying on the floor in front of him. Riza hadn't noticed it, but Jazz had left her side and was now beside Roy, kneeling as well, tears streaming down her face as she watched Roy rip open Sayo's black shirt so he could get a better view of the wound. He didn't rip it off completely, just open enough he could see the area around the wound.

"How is she?" Riza asked as she walked over toward them. She set Reina down on the floor. Reina quickly ran to the opening of the building.

"Hah ha, icky worms can't get me now! Na!" She said as she stuck out her tongue, teasing the pouring rain and outside elements.

"Not good," He replied as he pressed hard on Sayo's upper abdomen. He was a lot stronger then Riza, so he was succeeding in stopping the bleeding. "She's lost a lot of blood. She's very cold and weak because of it."

"I see," Riza replied. She had already known that, but didn't feel like starting a fight with Roy over it, not with what all was going on.

"All our medical supplies are still outside in our suitcases. We don't have anything here, and I can't see the wound in the dark. This whole thing is crazy," Roy said as he pulled out his pocket knife. He was going to cut open the wound a little, and try to dig out the bullet. It was suicidal to do it in the dark, but he didn't have any other choice.

"Crazy?" Reina asked as she looked back at them. The kids being as young as they were didn't really understand what was going on. They'd all gotten bumps and bruises before, seeing blood wasn't uncommon to them. They didn't realize this time someone was really hurt. An evil grin appeared on Reina's face as she began rambling like little kids often do to annoy the people around them. "Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a rubber room. They said I'd be there till the day I die. Die? I don't want to die. Worms eat you when you die. Worms? Eww I don't like worms. Worms make you crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a rubber room. They said I'd be there till the day I die. Die? I don't want to die. Worms eat you when you die. Worms? Eww I don't like worms. Worms make you crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a rubber room. They said I'd be there till the day I die. Die? I don't want to die. Worms eat you when you die. Worms? Eww I don't like worms. Worms make you crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a rubber room. They said I'd be there till the day I die. Die? I don't want to die. Worms eat you when you die. Worms? Eww I don't like worms. Worms make you crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once-"

"Would you cut that out?" Kenny snapped irritatedly as he glared at Reina. He was standing a few feet away from Sayo. Blare and Tommy stood a little ways behind the golden-eyed boy.

Sayo flinched as the mind-numbing pain from the insertion of the knife brought her back to concisions-ness. She opened her lime green eyes sleepily and saw Roy leaning over her. She could see Riza standing over his shoulder, watching him work, close by incase he needed something or to help if she started bleeding again.

Her eyes were glazed over with a thick coat of tears as the salty water slid down the sides of her face. She lifted her head slowly and tried to focus her eyes on what was hurting her. It took her a few moments for her blurry vision to take in what was happening. All she could make out was the blood, the handle of the pocket knife, and the white of Roy's gloves, the fingers were stained with red blood. "What… are you… doing?" she asked. Her mind wasn't registering anything that was going on in her weak state. Her eyes only part way open, too weak to open all the way. She was using all her strength to hold her head up.

Roy glanced up when he heard Sayo's voice, it was no more then a whisper. He saw the small girl's eyes. They were a dull color, not the piercing green they once where. She had a tired and painfully confused look on her face. "Lieutenant," he said his voice not changing from its cool tone.

"Yes?" Riza asked.

"Do something to keep her mind off this," he instructed quietly as he looked back at the knife in his hands.

"Yes, sir," she replied as she walked around Roy and beside Sayo. She knelt down in front of her, sitting on her knees. "Come here, Sayo," she cooed quietly as she gently lifted the girl up. "I'm moving her," she informed Roy. He nodded in reply and stopped working. Then Riza pulled Sayo toward her body, resting the little girl's tired head on her lap. "Is that better?" she asked.

Sayo's eyes were closed; all she managed was a whisper. "It's cold, and it hurts."

"I know," Riza replied, unsure of what she should tell a child.

Reina, Kenny, Blare, and Tommy stood quietly, out of the way. Jazz still sat beside Roy, too stunned to say anything, tears continuing to flow down her cheeks.

Sayo opened her eyes again. "You know… what?"

"What?" Riza asked. Her voice was quiet and gentle, trying to keep Sayo calm.

"This happened once… before…" she replied sleepily, her eyes wanted to roll back into her head, but the small girl forced them to remain open. Her breathing got shallower as the seconds ticked by. Her voice was raspy and her words were spaced by gasps for breath.

"Really?" Riza asked. She was keeping the conversation going, doing everything in her power to keep Sayo's mind off Roy.

"Yeah…" she said as she remembered things from her past. "To my… family. I didn't always… live here… I lived in the city… one day... there was lots of screaming and… loud noises… there were lots of people… running through the street. People… that looked… like you," she said as her eyes traced Riza's uniform. "My mom yelled… for us to get in the… house. I did... but before I could… I heard my bother scream... I turned around and I saw him… lying on the ground… blood all around him… I tried to get back to him. But my dad came out and… grabbed me. That night my mom told…. me that my brother wasn't coming back... anymore. She said he was killed… by the military's guns. Then a few days later… my mom found my…. dad in our bathroom... she said he was hanging from a rope… I asked what he did… she said he was sad that my brother died… and wanted to be with him…" Sayo continued as a tears slid down her face. "Then… a few months later... my mom and I came here... I dunno why… We lived here for a little while… then… she died, too. Jazz's dad shot her… I sat with her for along time... she was lying in the street. She told me… that she was leaving soon, and I'd be alone. But she made… me promise I wouldn't be scared. I told her… I wouldn't, but I guess I lied… I was always scared… But I don't really feel bad about it... 'cause I kept the other promise."

"What was that?" Riza asked as she listened to the little girl's story. She had noticed the farther Sayo got into her story, the slower and more slurred her voice became. Her eyes got duller and duller as the blood trickled out of her wound. Her breathing got slower, but Roy kept working.

"After my… dad died. Every night… she made me promise…. that I wouldn't do like he… did. Just leave… like that. No matter what… happened I couldn't… give up… Because one day… I would grow up... and I wouldn't be sad…. anymore. One night…. I asked her… why…. he did… what …he did? Wondering maybe… he did it… for some… other reason, not… just for… my brother. She said… she didn't know... then she… sung me… a sad song... She said… whenever I feel sad… to sing the song. It had lots of… questions in it... and it would make… me question myself… and not do what… he did… I can't remember… it all... but I remember a…. part of it…" Sayo said as her voice got quieter, her words cracked and she spoke and more tears slid down her cheeks as she began singing. Her voice was way off key, but no one cared. She smiled as she sang, remembering how her mother had sung it to her when she was still alive.

"How do….you get that… lonely?

…How do you…. hurt that… bad?...

…To make you…. make the call,

That… having no life… at all,

Is better then… the life that you had?

…How do you feel… so empty?

You want to let it all go?...

How… do you get that… lonely…

And no… body know?"

Riza watched Sayo quietly, not sure of what to say. Then her amber eyes widened as a vision returned to her mind. _I knew I had seen those eyes before._ She thought as she stared down at Sayo. A sad and stunned expression appeared on the Lieutenant's face

"You know… what?" Sayo whispered as she coughed, chocking as the blood rushed into her lung.

"What?" Riza asked.

"I'm not scared… of you anymore…" she replied with a small weak. "I was at first… I remembered you… from my brother… but now… I'm not scared anymore…"

"I'm glad," Riza replied.

"Me too…" Sayo said as she fell sleep.

Once Sayo didn't say anything for a minute Jazz pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She began crying silently as she buried her face in the fabric of her tan dress.

Roy worked a few minutes more, then stopped when he felt all the warmth leave Sayo's skin. He quickly grabbed her wrist, trying to find a pulse. He found nothing. He laid Sayo's hand back down then looked up at Riza. He saw the sad expression on her face. He was pretty sure he knew what her answer would be but he felt he had to ask. "Is something wrong, Lieutenant?"

Riza didn't bother to look up at him, she stared down at Sayo. "I knew I had seen her eyes before," she replied. Her voice still stern, but Roy could sense a hint of sadness, ok, there was a little more then a hint, but he wouldn't let Riza know that.

"Oh?" he asked.

"I was there when her brother got shot. I saw the whole thing. We raided the village for some stupid rumor that turned out to be false. I didn't shoot him, but I saw who did. I don't know why, but I remembered how his eyes widened when the bullet lodged itself in his back. I saw Sayo's father grab her and pull her into the house. The next day, some horses were pulling a cart around. Soldiers were throwing the bodies of the dead on the cart. There were piles upon piles on the wooden board with wheels. They even had to stop and unload some because the horses couldn't pull all the weight. They just left the discarded ones laying, rotting in the street. I saw them drag her father out of her house. His wife stood crying at the door as he was taken away and set ablaze. Even after my abilities were no longer in use I was ordered to stay there. I even made friends with some of the villagers. When we confirmed it was only a rumor we were allowed to treat the wounded. It's hard to believe how children can be. They believe so firmly in promises, even if the whole world knows it's garbage."

"What did he say to you?" Roy asked, knowing this was something Riza needed to say. He found it strange that she'd just open up to him. She seemed like an unbreakable wall before, but now she was just spilling everything that was on her mind.

"He was lying on the street, bleeding when I approached him. He was only three or four years old. He had minor injuries. They could have been treated and he could have been saved if we were permitted to help before. But by the time the order came out it was too late. His wounds were all infected. His flesh black, death eating away at his small body. He looked up at me with hopeful blue eyes. I asked him if he needed anything, anything at all, and even though he was in server pain and by that time bleeding badly. All he wanted was a simple answer, hope and reassurance. The people there had a god and a religion as most nations do. His god was one of many promises. He asked that when he died, if he would go to a type of paradise and see his mother again. Not being from that area I naturally had no idea what the boy's beliefs were or what their god was even called. I was about to ask someone else, just to see if I could get any information for the boy. But as I was turning to leave he answered the question himself. He said, "wait, it's a promise, right? If it's a promise then it must be true, and I must be able to see my mother again. I have too, it was a promise. They told me so," he continued on, going on and on about how promises were true and meant to be kept. I stayed with him all day and all night, offering him water and food. He refused to take it. Then the next morning I was called away to investigate a suspicious object on the other side of the town. He made me promise to come back after I had finished. So I could talk with him some more. I promised and left. The 'object' turned out to be a simple gift wrapped in a brown paper bag, dropped when its owner was shot and killed. I hurried back to the spot where I had left the boy, but when I got there he was gone. I asked everyone I could find. Then I turned and saw him on one of the carts pulled by the horses. The solider in charge of the chart said the boy had died just a few hours before, but not to worry. He said the boy was smiling through it all, just waiting for his friend's return. Lieutenant Colonel, I have killed people before, but for some odd reason those images seemed to bother me. I never found out why."

"I see," Roy replied as he glanced down at Sayo, his face still calm as it usually was. He knew what this felt like. He too was forced to kill under the State. "Believe it or not, I know how it feels to not have the answers. I was in a war too, you know?"

"Sir?" she asked as she looked at her superior. She expected to see a smirk on his face. Something that simulated a sense of pride. She had heard he was one of the heroes off Ishbal. She was very surprised to see a remorseful expression as he went back into his own memories. The many memories people told him he should be proud of.

_How can someone be so proud as to say their mind is pledged with nothing but blood and gore?_ He wondered to himself.

"Are you alright, sir?" Riza asked after he was silent for a few minutes. She watched as his face became more and more discouraged, and his eyes gained more scornful hate and rage.

"When I was in Ishbal I met and killed many people. I have stories that I should be proud to tell, but never do. Some of them stand out to me as much as they do to you. I had cornered one man in a building one morning. He was wounded and unarmed, normally I would have just taking him in as a prisoner, but we were under orders to annihilate everyone in the immediate area. I was going to make it as quick and painless as I could. I ready myself and was about to use my flame on him when his eyes suddenly overpowered me. "The crimson eyes of a lonely old man" he said. Then he did as your boy and asked me a question that most people would think to be simple, but was not anything of the sort. I halted my attack long enough to let the old man speak. I told him I wasn't certain I could give him an answer and after that'd I'd have to take his life. He just leaned against the wall and stared at the decaying ceiling. Then he told me how he had no family, and they had all died out when he was a young boy. That was all over 50 years ago. He never married nor had any children. Then he asked me his simple question." Roy said, trailing off as the images replayed in his mind.

"Sir?" Riza asked again when he fell silent, unsure if he was going to answer her.

"He asked me, "If you haven't seen your loved ones in along time, and you have changed in appearance. Would they recognize you on the other side? Or were you to be alone in death as well?" Like you, Lieutenant, I had no idea on how to reply to this man. I had never thought about something such as that."

"What did you say?" Riza asked. Jazz still crying next to them.

"Nothing…" Roy replied, "I didn't have a chance to say anything at all. General Gran, a Colonel at that time, came barreling in and ordered me to kill the old man, and I did."

"What did you do?" Kenny asked as he had gotten in on the war story.

"Didn't take it personally," was all he could think to say, "When you're under orders you have to do what you don't want too. Don't let it faze you or you won't get anywhere. The guilt will eat you alive until you are nothing more then a mindless shell, lost in the battlefield of your own mind."

"Yes, sir," she replied knowing Roy was right.

They sat quietly for a few minutes. Jazz had begun crying into Roy's chest. Reina began crying as well. Kenny stood by her side, trying to comfort her. Blare and Tommy just sat quietly, unsure of what to say or do.

Riza stared down at Sayo. The only noises that registered in her mind were the rain outside and the sound of Jazz and Reina's cries. After a few more minutes she regained her composer and lifted Sayo's small head off her lap. "What do you want to do with her, sir?" she asked as her amber eyes fell on Roy. One of his arms was wrapped around Jazz's thin form, holding the sobbing girl to his soaked form.

Roy's gaze went from Jazz to Riza. His face was calm, but his eyes held much sadness. He was about to say something when they heard a noise outside.

The military dogs' attention quickly snapped to the front of the building.

"They're in here!" they heard a familiar voice call.

"Is that Vis?" Reina asked with a sniff as she looked toward the door. She wiped some of the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand.

Roy's and Riza's eyes immediately widened and they quickly stood up. Jazz fell back as Roy shot up, but she didn't care. The small girl was to upset to notice.

"Hello again," they heard Jackal's cold voice. "Did you enjoy the little field trip?" he smirked as he walked into view. He stood in the doorway, only his form was visible in the dark. All the details of his body were hidden in the blackness.

Roy growled and sneered as he grabbed his wrist. He was going to use his alchemy. Just then the thunder boomed, reminding him of the damp air. He cursed himself as he stared at Jackal. Grimm, Hell's Fire, Shadow, and Lex appeared behind him. He couldn't see Saff anywhere. _She's probably still in the other building reading. _He thought as a bead of sweat traveled down his brow. He got a little nervous when he saw the bodies of many other gangsters appear behind the gang leaders.

"What do want to do, sir?" Riza asked.

Roy looked to his side. He saw Reina clinging to Riza's pant leg, crying. Jazz was at Sayo's side, still sobbing. Kenny and the other two boys stood behind them nervously.

"Sir?" Riza asked again, her legs pushed her boots hard against the floor. Her body was in firing position as her silver pistol flashed in the lightening.

"Isn't it obvious?" Roy replied as he looked back at the gangsters. He could make out an evil grin on Jackal's face.

"I think it's time we got this party started," Jackal said coldly and pulled out his gun, ready to fire at any moment. Just then the gangsters that had weapons pulled out theirs as well. Some aimed for Roy, others aimed for Riza.

AN: Ok, guys, what did you think? Poor Sayo, it's all so sad. Yes, the song Sayo was referring to is in fact a real song. It's called "How do You Get that Lonely" by Blaine Larsen. Great song.


	36. The Allusion of Fireflies

AN: Sugar High: Gilbert and Thomas? Nice names XD. LOL "Gas prices are at an all time low!" That's awesome XDDDD.

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 36: The Allusion of Fireflies

Riza sneered when she saw the guns pointed at Roy and herself. _I can't shoot them all. My weapon only holds six bullets. _

"Lieutenant," Roy said in a stern tone.

Riza glanced over at him, her gun still pointed at the men.

"My only order is to not get killed," he said as he looked over at her. "It would be kind of hard to finish this mission without you," he finished his order with a gentle smile.

All Riza could manage to do was nod. Then her amber eyes retuned to the stinking men in front of her.

Jackal scoffed, "I thought you said she wasn't under your orders, Lieutenant Colonel," he spat. Remembering what he had heard when he and Roy had fallen through the floor.

Roy just glared back at him. Riza stared as well. Her face serious, but her expression was hidden from the gangsters by the barrel of her silver pistol.

Hell's Fire, Shadow, and Lex walked over to the side, leaving the doorway wide open. The two teens stood quiet and alert next to their leader. Their expressions calm. They didn't participate because guns were not their weapon of choice. Hell's Fire's whip was destroyed when Reina and Sayo freed Roy. She would fight with her fists as a replacement. Shadow still had his sais. However, neither of which were a match for Riza's iron bullets.

Grimm stared with the others. Her cold-blue eyes set on Riza. Her black pistol was raised, awaiting the order to open fire. It was quiet as both parties waited for the order, and what type of dawn the storm would bring in.

Jackal smirked as the lightening flashed. "GO!" he shouted. The sound of his voice caused all the gangsters' eyes to widen. They immediately began to fire.

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_ A countless amount of gunfire filled the once quiet air.

Reina's eyes widened as she felt Riza scoop her up and pull her to the side before they were hit. Roy had launched himself in the opposite direction. All of them missing the bullets.

"AHHHHHH!" Jazz screamed loudly as she covered her ears with her hands. Tears escaped her eyes as bullets whizzed over her head. Lucky for her the men didn't aim low enough to hit her.

Riza took cover behind a nearby beam. "Go hide!" she ordered Reina as she let her go and began firing back at the men.

"Right," Reina replied as she ran to the back of the building. Kenny, Blare, and Tommy were already there. They watched Riza return fire. She quickly reloaded her gun. Bits and pieces of the support beam she was taking cover behind chipped and were blown off as the edges of the beam were attacked by a countless amount of bullets.

"Come on!" Reina instructed. "We have to get out of here!" she shouted as she grabbed one of the boards that covered the window behind the boys. She pulled on it hard. Their plan was to escape out the window.

"Ok," Kenny replied nervously as he, Blare, and Tommy began pulling on the board as well.

"Mwu…"

"Huh?" Reina looked down. She saw Kiro, soaked and shivering below her. She smiled and picked up the wet cat. She held Kiro in one arm, and helped pull with the other.

"Jazz!" Roy shouted as he stared back at the little girl crouched in the middle of the room. He was on the left side of the gangsters. Riza on the right, behind the beam. He got down low to the ground. There was nothing for him to use as a shield. This is where the dark came to his advantage. He watched the little girl scream and cry out for help as the bullets continued to fly blindly into the darkness.

"Daddy, stop it!" Jazz cried. She opened her eyes, her tears falling down on Sayo's lifeless body. She looked into Sayo's face. Her skin was a very pale color. Though she had a small peaceful smile on her face, the sight was still frightening_. I don't want that to be me. I don't. _She cried to herself. She closed her eyes tight again and pushed her hands against her ears harder, hoping to block out the noise. _Go away, make it go away._ She prayed to herself. She tried to close her eyes even tighter; thinking that maybe if she couldn't see what was going on, then it would all just disappear.

"Jazz, get away from there now! This is a direct order!" she could hear Roy calling out to her. It seemed like he was a million miles away as the sound of his voice was swallowed up by the gunfire.

"Lieutenant Colonel!" Riza shouted as she continued to fire at the gangsters, bringing them down one by one, but not even making a dent in their number. She stopped every few seconds to reload again. With all the gangsters, it didn't take long for her gun to run out of ammo. She cursed herself, and the makers of the gun for the limited amount of bullets the weapon could hold. After a few minutes of this Riza's effort was finally starting to pay off. The wet sand outside now soaked up the men's blood, along with the cold rain.

Roy didn't seem to notice Riza. He was to busy yelling at Jazz.

"You little brat," Jackal snapped as his men fired all around him. The guns lit up as the shots ran out. It created the allusion of fireflies flashing on a cool summer's night. "All you ever were was trouble. JUST LIKE YOUR FOOL OF A MOTHER!" he spat as he aimed his gun at Jazz. The thunder boomed behind him as the smell of blood, rain, and gunpowder tainted the air.

Jazz looked up when she heard her father's voice yelling at her. She always came to attention when he yelled. If she didn't, then she usually got a beating for it. Her small eyes widened when she saw what looked to be fireflies surrounding his muscular form.

Roy tensed and jeered when he saw what Jackal was about to do.

"Sir, don't!" Riza shouted. Her voice was mixed with emotions of shock, desperation, and fear. These emotions also consumed her once calm face as she saw Roy charging at Jackal. She had never seen that expression on his face before. The lightening flashed, which made everything visible. She was glad she could only see him for a split second. His face was terrifying, full of nothing but hate and rage. So scornful, she prayed he'd never use that look on her. _Though I won't let him intimidate me if he does._ She thought as she reloaded her pistol. Once she heard the click of the chamber closing her mind went back to the Lieutenant Colonel and Jackal.

Jackal smirked when he saw Roy heading right toward him, "So you want to die before the little brat?" he asked, "Well that can be arranged," he raised his gun again. The dark barrel aimed for the spot between Roy's now wicked eyes.

Roy sneered. _I don't care if I'm unarmed._ He told himself. His face full of rage as his dark eyes glared scornfully into Jackal's gray ones. _I don't even care if you shoot me, but I'm not going to let you kill her._ The world around Roy seemed to vanish without a trace. Jazz, Riza, the kids, and the gangsters. It was all gone. He couldn't even hear the gunfire, but for some odd reason, the light from the guns still stood out. They flashed like the fireflies. The only feeling he had was his feet pounding on the ground, and the hate in his heart. Jackal was his only goal at this point. He didn't care what happened to him as long as his opponent was stopped.

"Heh…" Jackal chuckled as Roy came closer. "I know you are in it, too. This is the world you enter when you are about to kill someone. The world of the fireflies. It is neither fearful nor peaceful, just silent, like time itself has stopped, and the only things that are alive in this world are you, your target, and the millions of beautiful fireflies," he said with an evil grin. He held his gun firmly. He wanted to see the whites of Roy's eyes before he fired. _I want to hear his blood splatter. _He thought as his grin widened. He was just about to fire when Riza's voice cut through the men's gunfire.

"LIEUTENANT COLOENL!"

Roy glanced back as his body retained its forward motion. He would have ignored her if it wasn't for the tone in her voice. It was a tone he had never heard Riza use before. It was scared and full of desperation and sorrow.

"Lieutenant Colonel Mustang!" her voice radiated throughout the building. Her amber eyes widened when she saw how close Roy was to being killed. Then without thinking, she pulled her trigger.

_Bang!_

Jackal's eyes widened suddenly as he felt a great pain consume his chest. It felt like his upper body was being crushed. He couldn't scream nor breathe. His lungs incapable of expanding under the pressure of the force from Riza's bullet. His eyes began to roll back into his head and he began to fall backwards.

Jazz's brown eyes widened when she saw the blood coming from her father's body.

Riza fired again. She didn't know why she pulled the trigger a second time. She just couldn't bring herself to the fact Roy had almost been killed in front of her eyes.

Roy stopped dead in his tracks. He watched as the blood come spilling out of Jackal's chest, and the second bullet enter into his abdomen.

Jackal sneered as he watched the world changing quickly around him. Before he knew it, Roy was no longer in sight and the fireflies and the ceiling of the building was all that he could see. He cursed himself as he raised his arm, his gun pointed at where he thought Roy stood. Then, without even looking, he pulled the trigger.

"Eh!" Roy's eyes widened in shock. He could have sworn he saw the bullet barreling towards him. He jumped to the side in the nick of time. His wet boots slid on the floor as he stopped, his body crouched low to the ground. The bullet grazed his right cheek. A few trickles of blood seeped out of the new wound and traveled slowly down his face.

Jackal's body had hit the ground with a thud. His eyes glazed over as he stared at the ceiling. "The fireflies…. are… taking me to… another world…" he whispered with a smirk. In his mind, his custom of killing would continue even in the next life. He didn't really care where he ended up as long as there were guns there.

The man that stood directly behind Jackal stared in shock. "Why you!" he cursed when he saw his comrade was dead. He quickly pointed his gun at Roy. His gun was a large rifle type gun, not a small pistol like Riza and Grimm held. "I'll get you for that!" he shouted with rage as he pulled the trigger.

Riza's eyes widened and she pulled her trigger, almost as fast as the man had pulled his. "Watch out, sir!"

Roy's attention went back to Riza's then it flashed back to the man. His eyes widened when his mind registered what had happened in the last second. Before he could react enough to dodge the bullet entered his skin. Indescribable pain overcame Roy's limb. He cursed and looked down at his left arm. His white glove was being consumed by his own blood. The bullet went straight through the upper right part of his palm. _Damn._ Roy thought to himself as his body tensed from the sudden overwhelming pain. He grabbed his throbbing hand. It destroyed part of the alchemy circle.

His attention quickly went back to the men. He saw the one who had just shot him lying on the ground. Riza's bullet had entered his head, killing him instantly.

"You were lucky," a familiar voice came from behind him.

Roy turned around fast to see Hell's Fire right behind him.

"If she hadn't of shot and changed his aim that bullet would have lodged itself in your chest," she cooed as she looked over the man lying on the ground.

Roy scoffed, still holding his hand, trying to stop the bleeding. He tried to move his fingers, contracting the muscles around the wound. He flinched as the pain became worse. _Some bones are broken, but I don't think there's any nerve damage. It's too early to tell. _He thought as his attention went back to Hell's Fire. _Well it could be worse, I could have been killed. _

"Lieutenant Colonel!" Riza shouted and raised her pistol.

Grimm's eyes narrowed as she saw Riza point her gun at her sister. _Sorry._ She spat as she shot her black gun.

Riza sneered as she felt Grimm's bullet hit her pistol, knocking it off balance and off her target. The blow caused the gun to fire. The bullet lodged itself in the ceiling. She quickly looked over her gun. Great relief overcame her face when she saw it wasn't damaged. The bullet merely scratched the silver plating of the barrel. She looked up to fire again when a flash of light appeared in front of her suddenly. Before she could react to the fast movement she felt something cold come in contact with her stomach. "AHHH!" she shouted angrily as her abdomen began to throb. She felt the warmth of newly flowing hot blood on her burning skin. She flinched as she covered her wound with her free arm. The wound she had gotten from Grimm was now much deeper then before. Her face held a pain-oriented jeer as she glanced up. She saw Shadow standing in front of her.

He held up one of his sais. One of the outer blades was covered in dark blood, telling her he had just slashed her stomach, making Grimm's wound worse. His yellow eyes glared at her, a smirk on his pale face. "I'm sorry," he said calmly, yet his voice held a hint of dark hate. "Did that hurt? Allow me to finish you off and put you out of your misery," he finished as he brought the sai up over Riza's head, the blades facing down towards her.

Her eyes widened when she saw the sai flash as it came down towards her. Her military training kicked in and without thinking she drew her pistol and shot.

Shadow just smirked as he jumped to the side. The bullet wasn't hard to dodge. Even at point blank rage, with the shocked state of mind Riza was in at the moment, the gun was way off, making escaping the bullet a piece of cake. She shot more for distraction then defense. "Are you losing your nerve?" he asked in his creepy, hateful, calming tone as he stared at Riza. The smile still on his face.

She just glared back at him. She just realized it, but she was panting. This was taking way more energy then she thought she had. The adrenaline rush was beginning to ware off, leaving her lightheaded. On top of that her stomach was aching and bleeding, and she had a splitting headache, yet another side affect from that time-of-the-month. The stress and noise of it all was just increasing her pain, and clouded her judgment on both shooting, and common sense.

"Are you going to shoot me, Lieutenant?" Shadow asked.

A growl escaped Riza's lips as she swallowed the pain and the sick feeling she had and raised her weapon gun once more. She was about to shoot when Grimm interrupted her attack again. _Damn_. She thought to herself as she glanced over at Grimm. She saw the brown haired teen's gun pointed at her, ready to fire again.

"I got it!" Kenny shouted as he pulled the last board off the window, reviling the outside world.

"Good job!" Reina said happily. "Let's go!" she chimed. Tommy and Blare nodded as they climbed out the window.

"Tell me, Lieutenant Colonel," Hell's Fire said seductively as she ran her hand across the fabric of Roy's shirt collar. "Have you always been in love with fire?" she asked as she looked up at him. Her red eyes calm and casual as she stared deeply into his dark ones.

He didn't reply. His gaze went to Riza. He saw she was in trouble and wanted to help.

"Colonel," Hell's Fire said as she ran her fingers up Roy's bruised throat and placed them on his chin. She pulled his gaze back to her. "You know when flames join together they get stronger, do you not?" she asked. "How would you like to join my fire and burn the rest of this city to the ground?"

Roy's face became serious as he stared at Hell's Fire, "No," he replied sternly.

"What?" Hell's Fire snapped back. Her red eyes became scornful. No one had ever told her 'no' before. All the men had wanted her and she always turned them down. Now, she finally met someone she saw worthy of her, and he had disobeyed her wishes.

"If you will excuse me," Roy said as he moved to walk passed the dark haired teen, "I need to help my Lieutenenant."

Hell's Fire sneered as Roy walked passed her. "No one puts water on my flames!" she snapped as she turned around to face Roy's back. Her eyes flickering with fire-like rage.

"Now you die!" Shadow said coldly as he held his sai over Riza again. In the few moments they had been fighting Shadow managed to slice Riza's right leg. Just above the knee. She now knelt on the ground, her abdomen and her leg bleeding and burning.

She growled again as she tried to stand up, but her injured leg quickly gave way beneath her. She looked down at her injured limb and cursed as a bead of sweat traveled down her brow. Then her amber eyes went back to Shadow, waiting for him to attack, and hoping she could figure a way out of this.

"Say hello to Jackal, would you?" he asked with a smirk, his blades barreling towards her.

Roy dashed behind him. The dark hid his form from the gangsters, making him hard to get a fix on. This allowed him to avoid her bullets. "Don't even think about it," he snapped as he grabbed Shadow's arm before he could attack Riza.

"Why you…" Shadow jeered as he glanced back at Roy.

"Sir, watch out!" Riza shouted as she watched Shadow draw his other sai.

Roy's eyes narrowed as he jumped back fast, missing the blade that was meant for his chest. He let go of Shadow and went back into the darkness a bit.

"Get back here!" Shadow snapped as he charged after Roy. Somehow he managed to get in front of Roy, blocking his escape. He smirked, "No where to run," he said coldly as he held his blades up, pointed at Roy's throat. He walked forward slowly, forcing Roy to back up.

"Stop shooting!" Grimm ordered as she saw Roy's back come into view.

The gangsters all held their fire, wither they wanted to or not.

"Eh.." Jazz said as she lifted her head from Sayo's body. She had been crying over the cold body since her father was shot. Once she realized the gunfire had stopped she quickly got up and ran away. Safe in the back of the building. She looked around for her friends, but they were already gone, hiding in some other building. She got down low behind one of the support beams and peeked around the side of it, watching the battle from a safe distance.

Hell's Fire sneered angrily as she watched from the sidelines. "Shoot him dead. The fumes from his smoke do nothing more then clog the air. It's better for the earth if you rid him of it."

"Stop it, Hell's Fire," Lex snapped. The teen quickly fell silent, but her rage did not subside.

Riza's eyes widened when she saw Grimm moving her pistol towards Roy. _She's going to kill him._

"Turn around," Grimm said coldly.

Roy did as told. He could feel the cold steel of Shadow's sai against his back. "What do you want with me?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"You're a solider," Grimm replied. "You know the answer to that."

Roy smirked with a bit and gave a cool sigh with a shrug of his shoulders. "Well I guess you got me," he said. His voice was cool and somewhat comical. His left arm and hand burned and stung from the wounds, but he didn't show a hint of weakness. "But…" he began, his voice became serious, "If you kill me, then let my Lieutenant go. She is injured and is no longer a threat to you."

Riza's eyes widened when she heard this. _Why is he saying that?_ She asked herself as her amber eyes were overcome by shock. Her pupils hit the floor, still wide and trembling as Grimm and Roy made a deal.

"Ok," Grimm replied after a few minutes of bickering and discussing between the two. "I have decided. We will kill the Lieutenant Colonel and allow his subordinate to go free," she said as she looked back at her father. He nodded in approval. Then she turned back to Riza. "You have my permission to leave this place," she said as glared at Riza.

Riza was still overcome by the shock of it all. Her wounds did not aid her in her search to find comfort.

Grimm watched for a moment with a bit of confusion, and then she looked away from Riza. Not caring what she did from now on. "Now," she said as her eyes narrowed on Roy, "It's time for you to fulfill your end of the deal."

Roy just nodded; no emotion was visible on his face. He bowed his head a little and closed his eyes, waiting for the blow. _Even if I'm killed, at least my suburbanite and the kids, the one's I am supposed to be protecting, will be safe._

Grimm smirked as she got a better aim on Roy, the lightening flashed behind her.

"NO DON'T!" Jazz cried from the back of the building. Riza looked over at Roy. Her eyes were full of tears, but none of them fell. Then she got up suddenly. Her leg ached and gave way, but she fought it all the way.

"Please, let him go," Riza panted as she stumbled across the floor. Her blood dripping on the wood as she stumbled to the left and right. Her body falling continued collapsing beneath her, but she pulled herself back up each time. Her eyes remained on Grimm, hoping she would show them mercy, but prepared incase she didn't. Her gun was clutched tightly in her hand, the next round ready to fire. The pain she felt began to consume her mind. Everything became still and numb, but she still kept her head enough to get to Roy. She stood between Grimm and her superior, blocking the Lieutenant Colonel from her dark pistol's deadly round mouth. She stared at Grimm, dead in the eyes. The teen could see the sweat traveling down her forehead as the lightening flashed again. The sound of Riza's gasping lungs were heard in the cold silence.

The thunder boomed as the gangsters stood quietly behind Grimm, awaiting orders. Shadow stood quietly as well, he made no move toward Riza unless instructed by either Lex or Grimm.

A disgusted look appeared on Grimm's face. "Do you want me to shoot you, Lieutenenant?"

Roy looked back up at Grimm suddenly when he heard this. He saw Riza standing in front of him. Her silver pistol raised. His eyes widened when he saw how weak she was. Her breathing slow and unsteady as she tried to consume one good breath. The bleeding had become worse as she tore her wounds open when struggling to get to Roy. "Lieutenant Hawkeye?" he asked in a confused tone. He had made a deal to let her go. Why was she still standing here? Trying to defend him in this weakened state.

"Lieutenant Colonel, sir. Forgive me for disobeying orders, sir," she replied. Her words spaced by her slurred breathing. "It was an order that I help you on this mission. I'm sorry; Lieutenant Colonel, but I can not leave you, not matter what." Her amber eyes fixed on Grimm. She saw Grimm's face in another flash of light. The teen wasn't exactly thrilled at Riza's response.

"Well…" Grimm began with a cold smirk. "It looks like all bets are off," she said as she raised her weapon.

The two women glared at each other for a moment or two. Riza's mind became clouded as fatigue began to set in. Her sense of reality began to drift away and the fireflies returned, though there was no one firing.

_What is this?_ Riza wondered and scoffed as the light of the fireflies crowed her rage of sight. She could see Grimm's form, incased in the fireflies' glow. The girl smirked once more.

"Don't worry; we'll be sure you won't be alone too long. You can follow all your precious Colonel's orders in the afterlife."

Riza sneered again. The lightening flashed and a single shot was fired.

_Bang!_

AN: So what'd ya think? Who got shot? Grimm or Riza? Mwahahahahaha! Sadly, you'll have to wait and see, because the next chapter is the office chapter. That may turn out to be extra evil and last two chapters instead of one. Who knows? I DO! But I'm not telling!


	37. Suds in a Bucket

raven krystal: BUT I WANT A COOKIE! Breaks down and sobs. NUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOO! What's a graf?

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 37: Suds in a Bucket

"Man…." Havoc groaned with a sigh as he leaned back against the wall. He was currently sitting on his knees, on the floor, trying to get the hard black gunk off the once green tile with a pen. Yes, the tip of a pen, it did work. It took off the char, but it was a very slow way of doing things. He glanced down at the ground and saw little tiny green lines where the tip of the pen had scraped up the black gunk. "This is going to take forever," he moaned and held up his tool. His blue eyes traced the end of it. The top of the pen was full of black tar, and it clogged the opening. _I'll never be able to write with this again_. He thought as he tried to pick some of the dark junk out of the top of his writing utensil with one of his dull finger nails, but to no avail.

The room was surprisingly bright for the little amount of light they had. Since the light had busted when Riza shot it, all they had access to were some flashlights. They taped them to different places in the room. Some sat on the floor, some taped to the top boarders of the wall. All in all, it looked like a misshapen Christmas tree with only one color of lights, that were boring and never blinked in a funky fashion. "Merry Christmas to all," was all Hughes could manage to say after they stepped back and looked over their handiwork.

"Is it still raining outside?" Hughes asked as he looked up from his pen and his little lined area and over at Armstrong, who was doing the same thing in the area under the window.

Armstrong looked up from his work and at Hughes. Then he glanced up at the broken window. They still hadn't gotten a replacement in successfully. They managed to keep the rain out by taping some empty folders together and then taping the new creation to the wall around the window frame. The ugly brown folders were the liveliest looking thing in the room. "Let me see," he said as he sat up so only his knees and the bottom of his toes touched the floor. He peeled back the bottom of the makeshift shield and glanced outside. "It's still raining, but it looks like it's letting up," he informed them. The muscles in his face tensed as the cold raindrops hit his skin.

"Ok," the dark haired replied.

Havoc looked over toward Armstrong as they heard a loud gust of wind howl. "Eh…" he mumbled when he looked down and saw Armstrong's area. He quickly looked back to his, and then glanced up at Armstrong's again. _How did he do that so fast? _He wondered as he stared at Armstrong's spot. It was three times better then his and Hughes' combined.

"Anything else?" Armstrong asked Hughes as he pulled his head back in the window. The little blond curl in the middle of his forehead was no longer curly, but hung limp as the combination of rainwater and gravity pulled it toward the floor.

"No," Hughes replied and looked back down at the dark floor.

Armstrong nodded and set his pen on the floor beside him, trying to tape the folders back to the wall. The strong wind howled as it attacked the building.

_That's why._ Havoc said as his eyes hit Armstrong's pen. It was totally destroyed. The tip was clogged beyond belief and it had snapped in two. It was now held together with the ever famous duck tape.

"Do you need help?" Hughes asked as he watched Armstrong struggle with the folders. The large man was now standing, trying to push the whole shield against the wall. The wind had blown the folders from the window frame.

"No," he replied as the brown folders pressed against his face. It was getting very difficult for him to keep the folders together. They weren't a solid piece of board that stayed straight firmly. They bended and the ones on the edges began to blow apart as the tape began to lose its hold.

"Are you sure?" Havoc asked.

Armstrong made one of his growling noises as his eyes narrowed and the little shiny shapes appeared around him. "Don't worry boys, this method of folder holding and taping has been passed through the Armstrong line for generations!" he shouted as he pushed on and tried to keep the folders together, now using his legs to try and block the bottom row of folders from breaking away.

_Folder holding and taping?_ Havoc thought as a confused expression appeared on his face. Just then the room was filled with wind as the folders flew in circles around them, carried by the gust of air, and the rain began coming in.

"Hmmm…" Armstrong said in defeat as the folders blew and landed around the room, one landing on Hughes' head. It looked like a little tiny dark tent sitting on top of his skull.

The black-haired man sighed as he pulled the folder off his cranium. "Ouch," he whined as he pulled the gray tape from his hair. Then he leaned back so he was lying on the floor. "We won't get anywhere at this rate," he said as he stared at the folder. He held it open above his face. His eyes looked into the folder like it held some information to read. "And I need to get home soon," he added as he thought of Gracia, sleeping in the big bed alone.

"Yeah," Havoc replied with a yawn, "I haven't pulled an all-nighter in ages, at least not at work."

"What do you propose we do then?" Armstrong asked. His mustache twitched as he spoke. He was now back at the window. A stroke of genius had just hit him and he was now taping a big black garbage bag to the wall to block out the outside world.

"I dunno," the Lieutenant replied as he leaned back against the wall again. His face became unpleasant as he stared at the ceiling. _He destroyed my cigarettes. _He thought as his body began to go into a craving. The horrid image of the fork in his cigarette box came rushing back to him.

"Come on, let's get this done," Hughes said as he sat back up and threw the folder to the side. Then he picked up his pen and began running the tip back and forth hard against the floor. His eyes widened as he watched the swaying movement of his hand.

Havoc and Armstrong began to work as well.

"I got it!" Hughes shouted after a few minutes of thinking.

"What?" Havoc asked as both he and Armstrong glanced over at him.

The big grin returned to Hughes' face as his glasses lit up. "We can mop it all off the floor!"

Sweat drops appeared on the back of the other men's heads. "And you just came up with this now?" Havoc asked.

"Yes!" he replied with a satisfied smile.

"Eh…" Armstrong and Havoc both fell over anime style, feet sticking in the air, one of the black boots twitched.

"What?" Hughes asked as he looked at them in disappointment and confusion.

_And you call yourself a Major in the Investigations Department._ The sandy-blond haired man thought as he and Armstrong got back up.

Hughes blinked curiously when he didn't get a reply. "Ok!" he shouted as his smile returned. "I'll get the mop! Lieutenant Havoc, you get the bucket of water! Major Armstrong, you get the soap!"

"Uh…" Havoc looked up at Armstrong. The tall man looked down at him for a second.

"Alright," Armstrong replied in his usual tone as he turned to the door, quickly followed by Hughes.

Havoc just sighed as he followed after them. _I have a feeling this won't be as easy as it sounds._

The three men walked around the base blindly for about half an hour before Armstrong realized something then asked, "Where exactly are we going?"

Hughes raised one arm in the air, his pointer finger aimed at the ceiling. "To the janitor's closet!" he replied as he led the way.

"And where is the janitor's closet?" Havoc asked as he walked next to Armstrong. He looked so small with the mountain of a man next to him.

Hughes stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hm?" Havoc and Armstrong exchanged glances.

Hughes turned to them slowly. "I have no idea!"

"Eh…" Havoc and Armstrong got sweat drops again.

"Should we go ask then?" Armstrong asked as he stared down at Hughes. A few other men in military uniforms walked passed them and down the hall.

"Ummm…" Hughes began calculating to himself, putting his hand to his chin. "Nah, I think we can find it. Onward troops!" he said as his smile returned and he headed down the hallway.

Havoc sighed and Armstrong stared, no emotion on his face as they started down the hall. Unsure what this little adventure would bring.

…_Two hours later…_

"Major Hughes," Armstrong said as they walked down yet another hallway. The green tile and whitish walls began to look very similar as they walked down isle after isle. The only way for them to tell if they'd been in that area already was to look out the windows that showed the men the outside elements, but that didn't help very much either. It was still dark outside.

"Yes?" Hughes asked as he turned to look at him.

"With all due respect, sir. It's getting late. Shouldn't we ask and see if anyone knows where the office is?"

"It's a closet, not an office. There's a difference," Hughes replied.

Havoc sighed and looked out the window. _I wish I had my cigarettes, and it's getting light outside._ He thought as he glanced over to the wall and saw sunlight coming through the window. _At least the rain stopped._ He walked over to the window. It wasn't that bright. It was maybe 5 or 6 am. The sun was just beginning to rise. _It sure did rain a lot._ When he looked at the ground below and saw all the puddles on the sidewalk. The sidewalk itself was a dark gray color; the white it used to be was dulled by all the rainwater lying on top of it. There were also some military men just arriving. He watched as they avoided the small pools of water and chatted amongst themselves. _Aren't they lucky? _Havoc thought as he watched the men below him, talking and having a good time. _Yeah, yeah laugh it up, boys_. He growled when he saw the happy-laughing expressions on their faces.

"First Lieutenant Havoc," Armstrong's voice brought the skinny blond-haired man out of his thoughts.

"Yes?" Havoc asked as he turned from the window to look at his superiors.

"We have decided to ask for directions," Hughes cut in, "Go ask someone."

"What?" Havoc asked, "Why me?"

"Because we said so," he replied with a smile.

"But…" Havoc began, "that's not fair!"

"Nothings fair on the battlefield," Hughes replied. "Be strong, man!" he shouted as he went up behind Havoc. He put both hands on his back and tried to push him into the nearest office.

"Hey wait!" Havoc shouted. A distressed expression on his face as Hughes pushed him into a door. "Oww…" he whined when his face was bashed into the door.

Armstrong mumbled as he watched the two men.

Fury was walking down the hall, some folders in his hands when he noticed his comrades. "Uh?" a confused expression appeared on his face as he walked over to them. "You know there's a door there, sir?" he said as he pointed at the door with his free hand, his other hand held the files at his side.

"Ah, that's an excellent point," Hughes replied, "Here, let me get that for you, Havoc," he said with a smile as he reached around Havoc to turn the knob.

"But…" Havoc tried to retaliate again as Hughes pushed him through the doorway.

"Have fun now. Be sure to listen closely, and take notes if needed," Hughes said as he stared at him, who was now on his hands and knees inside the room. "Make sure to get them all right. We'll be waiting for you out here," he chimed as he slammed the door, leaving Havoc in the room alone.

The three men sitting at the desks in the office just looked over at the new arrival, confused expressions on their faces.

"Uh…." Havoc said as his attention went to the men, his face unsure and a sweat drop appeared on his head.

They just stared at each other for a few seconds, and then the superior in the office spoke up, standing up from his desk, "Can we help you with something?"

Havoc's eyes widened when it was his turn to speak. "HUGHES!" he shouted as he turned around and grabbed the doorknob, "I don't want to do this!" he pulled hard on the silver knob, but it wouldn't open. On the other side of the door Armstrong is seen holding the knob, keeping the door closed. Hughes is right beside him and Fury is standing behind them, watching in confusion.

"Well, we don't either!" Hughes replied. His glasses lit up, a grin on his face, and one hand cupped over his mouth. He wanted to be sure Havoc got his message loud and clear.

"Then make Fury do it!" Havoc replied, still yanking on the door.

"But you're already there!" Hughes replied. Havoc was pulling like a madman on the other end of the door. Both hands were now on the knob. His feet planted on both sides of the doorframe, pulling furiously. Armstrong held the knob with one hand. No expression appeared on his face as he had no problem keeping the door closed.

Havoc glanced back at the three soldiers behind him. They were all staring at him, unsure of what to do, sweat drops on the back of their heads. Then Havoc got an idea, "Sir, there's no one in here! They haven't arrived yet!"

"Oh?" Hughes asked as his smile disappeared. "I thought I saw someone in there," he said as he looked up at Armstrong. "Let him out."

Armstrong nodded and pushed the door inwards.

Havoc smiled victoriously as Hughes' head popped in. Havoc dashed for the door, seeing his chance of escape.

Hughes glanced up and saw the men. "I knew there was someone in here!" he shouted and pulled back on the door fast. The wood slammed hard, almost being pulled of the hinges as the Major pulled it closed, Armstrong aided him.

"No!" Havoc shouted as his body hit the door, he slowly slid down the floor, whining.

"You know, Lieutenenant," he heard Hughes' menacing voice from the other side of the door. "It's bad to lie to your superior. Now this is not only an order, but a punishment. It's ask or face a court marshal!"

"But, sir…" Havoc whined as he sat, looking up at the door like a dog.

"Ummm…" the superior in the room looked at Havoc puzzled. "Is there something we could help you with?"

Havoc glanced back at him. A distressed expression on his face.

Hughes, Armstrong, and Fury stood in the hallway. Well, Armstrong and Fury stood, Hughes sat on the floor.

"He's taking his time," Armstrong said as he glanced up at the clock on the wall.

"Yeah," Fury replied.

"That's a deadly sign," Hughes said calmly.

Armstrong and Fury looked down at Hughes in confusion.

"When it takes along time to get directions…" Hughes began. His eyes on the window across from him. He watched the clouds roll through the partially lit sky.

"Sir?" Fury asked, wanting to know the rest.

Hughes face suddenly went from calm to whiny as milk tears began streaming down his face, "…then it takes along time to follow directions…"

Fury and Armstrong stared down at him. Fury held a nervous laugh and smile. Armstrong didn't say anything.

"Sergeant Major Fury," a familiar voice was heard coming down the hall.

"Huh?" Fury glanced back, "Hello, Falman," he said when he saw Falman walking down the hall with a not-so-happy expression on his face.

"Why haven't you taken those files to the Brigadier General yet?" the gray haired man asked, "Did you find another animal out in the rain?" he snapped in an annoyed tone.

"No, I was just helping the Majors and First Lieutenant," the small man replied with a smile.

"I see," Falman replied as he looked to Hughes and Armstrong, "Well you're going to have to help later. Gran has been on my butt for the passed ten minutes. He said if you don't bring him those files in the next five minutes then you're going to be court marshaled."

"Oh?" Fury asked as a distressed look appeared on his face. "I have to go, sorry," he said as he turned to Armstrong and Hughes.

"It's alright," Armstrong replied.

"Why is Gran having you get his files?" Hughes asked.

Fury shrugged, "I don't think his men have arrived yet. I was passing by his office and he stopped me in the hall," he replied. "Well, I'd better go," he said and left, walking somewhat quickly down the seemly empty hall.

"What are you two up to?" Falman asked as he looked at the two Majors.

"Just getting directions," Hughes replied with a smile.

"I see," Falman said, "Well I better get back to Gran's office. I don't want him to think I'm slacking off."

"Ok," Hughes replied as Falman walked away. "Have fun."

"…Right…" Falman sighed as he gave a small wave, not bothering to turn back to them. Then he rounded the corner.

"What now?" Armstrong asked.

"Just have to wait," Hughes replied with a sigh.

Armstrong just nodded as he stood like a wall. His arms folded over his chest.

Just then Hughes got an idea to entertain their boredom. His glasses flashed as the evil grin returned to his face. He reached for his pocket, "Did I show you my wife?" he asked as he pulled the photo out. The tape still wrapped around it, holding Gracia's head on her body.

Armstrong just stared at him. His face held no emotion but his mind said, 'oh God no. Why me?'

After a few minutes of Hughes rambling on and on the door was heard opening.

"Hey!" Hughes' head popped out from behind Armstrong's large body. "What'd ya find out?"

Havoc just sighed and leaned back against the closed door. "They don't know where it is either…"

The hallway fell silent as they stared at Havoc. The cricket was heard chipping again.

Hughes glanced around. _Where are you cricket?_ He wondered with a growl. Then the sound stopped. _Darn, he got away. I'll get you cricket, you just wait. You're the only one who I haven't shown my pictures too. How can you live without Gracia's grace? You'll thank me some day._

"Are you sure they didn't know?" Armstrong asked as he stared down at Havoc.

"Yep, they're men too, remember? They don't ask for directions, and they don't care about cleaning supplies," then Havoc's face became somewhat enraged and displeased.

"What's the matter?" Armstrong asked when he saw Havoc's expression change.

"They all laughed at me," Havoc replied as he glanced over at Hughes.

Hughes stared back at him, a confused look on his face. Then he broke out into a chuckle and put one hand behind his head, "Your punishment has now been fulfilled. Good work, Lieutenant. As your reward I'll let you have this picture of Gracia," he said as he got up and was about to hand the picture to Havoc.

Havoc glared at it. Under normal circumstances he would have taken it to shut Hughes up, but he wasn't in a good mood right now, "Give that thing to me, and I'll give it to the chef, who will burn it…"

Hughes' happy face immediately died in a million flames as his eyes got big and watery. He pulled the picture back to his chest, cradling it. A puppy dog whine was heard as he laid it back in his pocket.

"What now?" Armstrong asked as he looked back at Hughes.

"Well…" he replied as his smile returned yet again, "We'll just have to find it ourselves!" he shouted as he stuck his arm in the air again.

"Haven't we been trying to do that the whole time?" Havoc asked; now back to his normal self since Hughes had felt his wrath.

"Yes!" Hughes replied, "But we haven't checked in every room!"

"Huh?" Havoc and Armstrong both stared at Hughes, unsure of what he was trying to say.

…_15 minutes later…_

"Not this one!" Hughes called out as he flung a door open, and then slammed it in whoever was insides face.

"Not this one either," Havoc replied as he opened one of the doors on the opposite side of the hallway.

"Hmmm…" Armstrong mumbled as he opened the door, and then closed it.

Havoc glanced back at Armstrong and gave an annoyed, hopeless sigh. Armstrong was on the same side of the hallway as Hughes, and checking all the rooms Hughes had already checked.

Hughes had made it to the end of the hall. At the end sat an intersection between the hall they were in, and the hall running perpendicular to it. Right where the two halls intersected sat two rooms. Both with pictures on the doors.

Hughes walked up and peeked in, "Oh, so that's what a urinal looks like!" his voice chimed through the hallways. Some of the officers turned to look at him.

Armstrong glanced from the door he'd just opened and toward Hughes.

"Oh thank God!" Havoc shouted and sprinted down the hall, almost knocking the family-obsessed Major over as he ran in.

Armstrong closed the door and walked down the hall, stopping next to Hughes.

Hughes just smiled and shrugged, and then he looked up at his muscular companion. "You too?" he asked.

Armstrong shook his head no in reply.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes," Armstrong replied.

"Alright," Hughes began scolding like a parent to a child on a road trip, "But we are only stopping once. Speak now or forever hold your pee."

Armstrong just stared at him.

"What?" he asked slightly confused.

…_5 minutes later…_

"Nope!"

_Slam!_

Everyone in the building could tell which doors Hughes had checked.

Havoc sighed again. _We're never going to find this 'janitor's closet'. There are millions of offices in here. Watch, there is only one closet out of all of them. It's like trying to find a door in a hall of doors._ He whined as he leaned on the wall. This night of sleeplessness was starting to get to him. He rubbed his eyes. They burned from lack of sleep.

Havoc continued his rubbing when he heard Hughes call out, "I found it!"

The Lieutenant turned around and saw Hughes standing by an open door at the other end of the hall. A big grin was on the Major's face. He pushed himself off the wall and walked down toward him, Armstrong already at his side.

"There it is, boys," Hughes said as he pushed the door wide open. Havoc and Armstrong stood behind him. "Isn't it beautiful?" he asked as he wiped away a tear.

"Hm?" Armstrong mumbled again as he stared into the closet. It was far from beautiful. It was very small, lined with crowed shelves on all three walls, the shelves all messily stacked with different cleaning bottles and sponges, it was dark, and at the bottom sat a bucket full of murky water that had been there for God knows how long, and was full of no even God knows what. There was also a rancid, disgusting smell radiating off the mop that sat on the floor, the stick leaning against one of the shelves.

Hughes smiled widely, pleased with himself.

"Yeah…" Havoc replied. "Great... I can almost hear those church bells ringing…"

"What are you doing?" an old gruff voice was heard from just beyond the door.

"Huh?" they all turned to see a not-so-happy janitor staring at them. He was an old man. He was short, had messy white hair, a white mustache, and wore a nasty smelling grey jumpsuit. In front of him sat a cart full of cleaning supplies.

The men stared at each other for a few minutes. The old man wanting an answer and the soldiers not sure of what to say.

AN: So what'd ya think? Sorry to say this is going to be extra evil and have TWO chapters! Sorry if Havoc, Fury, Falman... anyone really who was out of character! Don't kill me! Everyone hears 'Honky Tonk Badonkadonk' playing in the background. "That honky tonk badonkadonk, keepin' perfect rhythm makes you wanna swing along!" Sorry about that, gotta have my country! In my strange mind that would be Roy's theme song and the video would be what the military looked like if he became Fuhrer.


	38. Christmas in July

AN: Ok, guys, first off, Thanks for all the reviews! Ok, now what I was really getting at, there are a lot of parts to this chapter. I should probably have spilt it up into more then one chapter, but I don't think you'd want to wait any longer to see what happened between Riza and Grimm, ne? So, just bare with me and I apologize if there's any confusion!

Catharine Lewie Rain: "Say oooweee shut my month slap your grandma!" That's such a great song. I've never heard, 'Men are Like Shoes' before. Can you picture Riza in an outfit like that? Knowing Riza I really can't. It may be kind of cool if she did though.

Flava Sava: LOL, WE SHOULD! That'd make a great video. I have idea what scenes from the anime we could use or anything, but the thought of it made me laugh XD. How come we never talk anymore?

MoonStarDutchess: I wouldn't say they were boring. Well, to an extent maybe, if you compare them with the Royai chapters then yeah they are, but if you read them in general I don't think so. Anyway, I'm not offended at all. The last chapter was kind of boring, I know it was. When I reread it I yawned a lot XD. This one is MUCH funnier. The other one was sort up a build up for this. It'll be a lot better now. Also, last time this fic was up I let the readers vote if they wanted an office chapter or not. The vote was 'yes' if you can't tell. So blame them not me XD. Yeah, everything has its boring parts. Even movies on TV and such. It wouldn't seem normal it didn't have at least one, ne?

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 38: Christmas in July

"Well?" the little old man asked as he glared at the three soldiers. His body shook and spit flew out of his moth as he spoke. Some of the scary affects of ageing.

"Uh…" Hughes said as he stared down at the old man. "We just needed to borrow some supplies."

"NO!" the janitor snapped angrily. His outburst shocked Hughes, Havoc, and Armstrong. "Every time someone wants to borrow my things they ruin them, or never give them back!" he roared and pulled a broom out from the cleaning cart, holding it up defensively. The broom shook back and forth as it was held in the unsteady, liver spotted hands of the old man.

_Whoa…_ Havoc thought as he looked the man over. _He has to be like… 90 years old. Why hasn't he retired… or died?_

"Excuse me, sir," Armstrong said as he took a few steps toward the old man, thinking he could get through to him, "I can assure you we will not damage your tools. We want nothing more then a bucket, a mop, and some soap. I promise you I will give the items my up most care."

The little man's blue eyes studied Armstrong as his head unsteadily shook back and forth on his skinny shoulders. The small blue pupils moved up and down Armstrong's large body. His tongue came out of his mouth for a moment to wet his dry cracking lips. This reviling he had but two teeth.

"Please?" Havoc asked, wanting to get the cleaning done and go home. Then it hit him. _I can't go home. I have to work today…_

"No!" he snapped again. He looked like one of those men you see on the crazy floor at the old folk's home, holding that broom, and that evil glare in his eye. People like him are often found at 'the home'. Either they think rats are trying to rule the earth and all the nurses are in on it. Or they have flashbacks of a war they were never apart of, a war that never even happened.

"Come on, we only need a little soap," Hughes said with a friendly smile. Havoc was seen behind him. The blond-haired man was crying those milk tears as the realization that he wouldn't get to sleep till late that night set in.

"No!" the janitor scoffed again. He was dead set on keeping all his supplies this time.

Hughes sighed, "Then I'm afraid you give me no choice." he said as he reached into the closet and grabbed the nasty smelling mop. He then held it, the disgusting end pointed at the small old man. The end of the rag-like mop dripped some green looking liquid as Hughes held it in the air.

_Hey…_ Havoc thought as he looked at the green substance dripping of the mop. _It looks like that green slime from the dumpster…_

"I don't think this is a good idea, Major Hughes," Armstrong said. He knew the man was old, frail, and crazy. Hughes attacking him could result in a broken hip or worse.

"Nope, I warned him," Hughes replied. "Unguard!" he said with a playful smile as his glasses lit up. The two cleaning tools hit together and engaged in battle.

…_.Back at the gangsters' town…._

It had stopped raining and the sun was coming out here as well. Back in the building Roy had fallen through the floor in, sat Ice and Saff. Saff was trying to nurse Ice's wounded arm.

"Ouch!" he whined as Saff tried to tie a ripped piece of cloth around his wound, "It hurts!" he snapped as the 14 year old girl pulled the rags tightly around his arm.

"Don't be a baby. It says right here that it will work," Saff replied as she held up a book titled, '101 Useful Remedies for the Everyday Senior'. She smiled as she read the huge yellow book. "It's a good thing old people have poor circulation, huh? I'd never know how to make a tunicate out nothing after falling in the tub while taking a shower, after an attempted escape from 'the home'."

"Whatever," Ice replied bitterly. "I don't have poor circulation! This isn't going to work!"

Saff smiled proudly as she read the papers, "If I pull hard enough it will!" she shouted as she set the book down at her side and yanked hard on the makeshift bandage with both hands. "Don't worry, Ice. You won't have good circulation after this, and it's all thanks to me!"

…_.Back at Central…._ (Aren't I so evil? Mwahahahah!)

"Run faster!" Hughes shouted as he and the other two dashed down one of the halls.

"Get back here!" they could hear the old man calling from behind them.

Armstrong glanced back to see the janitor pushing himself in the supply cart after them. He sat in the bin of the cart. He pushed himself along with the broom, much like people did when rowing in a row boat, only with one paddle. He was catching up at an amazing pace.

"Hughes! Why did you steal his supplies?" Havoc cried as he ran. Hughes had the mop in his hand, while Havoc held the disgusting bucket one hand and the bottle of soap in the other.

"I didn't!" Hughes replied as they ran, "I was engaged in a deadly mop battle at the time. It was in fact you who stole them," he replied calmly. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, HAVOC!" He snapped as they ran.

The other soldiers jumped to the side, trying to avoid a head on collision with the military dogs and the janitor.

"Only because you ordered me too!" Havoc snapped back. He ran next to Hughes. Armstrong followed quickly behind them, not saying a word.

"Did anyone ever tell you not to do everything someone tells you to do? If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" Hughes asked as they rounded a corner. Havoc was too busy running to reply to that comment. That and he didn't want to get in trouble for whatever response he could have come up with.

"Whoa!" a man shouted as he jumped out of the way in the nick of time. He sat on the floor, a confused expression on his face as he saw the crazy little man speed past him.

"Get back here!" the little man shouted. The wheels on his cart squeaked as they went at a much faster speed then they were designed for.

Hughes and Havoc continued bickering as they raced around the Central building, unsure if they should head for the office with the janitor following them.

"Take this!" the old man yelled as he pulled something out of his cart.

"Watch it," Armstrong said as a sponge came barreling toward them.

"Ewwww!" Havoc groaned as something hit him in the back of the head. It was wet and squishy.

"What was that?" Hughes asked.

"I don't think I want to know," Havoc replied.

"Believe me," Armstrong said as they ran, "You really don't."

This little chase continued for 15 more minutes, finally the men rounded a really sharp corner. This corner was too sharp for the cart. It toppled over in the turn.

"Noooo!" the little man yelled as he felt his cart overturn. "AHHHH! MY HIP!" the soldiers heard the man's voice radiate through the halls as they ran on.

"Sorry!" Hughes replied, not slowly down any.

"Are you alright?" one of the soldiers asked as he walked over to the small man and put his cart right side up, then proceeded to lift the old janitor off the ground.

"I will be…" he replied as his back cracked when he was pulled up. "Oh, stop, put me back down!" he shouted as a sharp pain radiated in his pelvis.

"Do you want me to get a doctor?" another man asked.

"No," the old man replied. "I'll be fine. Just go to my janitor's closet and get my book, '101 Useful Remedies for the Everyday Senior'. I'm sure they'll have the answer I need in there."

The two men just looked at each other in confusion.

"Yes!" Hughes said as he sat on the floor of the office. "We did it!"

"Uh…Sir…" Havoc said. He was sitting not to far from Hughes. His voice was full of disbelief.

"Hm?" Hughes and Armstrong glanced over at him.

Havoc held the soap bottle in his hand. It was turned upside down and he squeezed it hard. "There's no soap in here…"

Hughes just stared at him comrades. His expression was blown away and what looked like a misshapen smile was plastered on his face. "Are you sure?" he asked as he became curious and he stood up, walking next to Havoc.

"Yeah," the sandy-blond man replied as he held the opening of the bottle over his eye. His blue pupil trying to see in the small round hole.

"Maybe it just needs to be squeezed harder," Hughes suggested as he grabbed the bottle with both hands and clenched his fingers tight.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Havoc's pain induced scream was heard throughout the entire building. Birds were seen flying away outside as the shriek made the walls vibrate.

"Well, it's empty now…" Hughes said as he took the bottle from Havoc.

"IT BURNS!" Havoc cried as he lay belly down on the floor, both hands over his soap filled eye. His boots dug into the floor as the pain gave him a sudden adrenaline rush.

"Here, Havoc!" Armstrong shouted. "Gaze into my bulging forceps! Their greatness will relive any pain your eyes possess!" he said as his shirt was ripped off and the light and sparkles appeared, shining brightly and not failing to lose any of their splendor.

"The light…IT BURNS!" Havoc shouted as he squirmed around the disgusting black floor.

"Uh…" Hughes cut in after a few moments of Armstrong posing and Havoc trying to drag his seemingly limp body out from under the blinding light. "I don't think that's working, Major."

"Hm?" Armstrong looked at him in disbelief.

"Your godly muscles are just too much for his eyes right now," he replied and looked down at the squirming Lieutenant.

"Hmmmm…" Armstrong made one of his noises as he stared down at Hughes. His mind registering what the other Major was saying. "What do we do now?" he asked. He somehow managed to pull his shirt back on in those two seconds and was now standing like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Havoc was still rolling on the floor in front of them.

"We'll have to get our own," Hughes replied.

"How do we do that, sir?" Armstrong asked.

"Take Havoc back to the bathroom, wash his eye out, and I'll tell you," Hughes replied as his glasses lit up.

Armstrong just nodded and grabbed Havoc, who was still doubled over in pain. He slung the blond man over his shoulder and carried him to the nearest restroom.

Hughes sat patiently and waited for his friends to return. His glasses lit up again and gained a menacing grin that stretched ear to ear.

After about 15 minutes Hughes could tell they were finished as Havoc's screaming voice subside. The square shaped glasses never lost their bright glare as he sat quietly. A few moments later he heard the door open and close.

"Back already?" Hughes asked with a smile as he turned to look at his comrades.

Armstrong nodded. Havoc stood next to him. It didn't seem like he was in pain anymore, but his eye was all red. You could tell something had gotten into it.

"Feeling better, Havoc?" Hughes asked.

Havoc just glared at him. "Next time… you test the bottle…"

"…Ok…?" he replied nervously.

"What was that plan you had, sir?" Armstrong asked wanting to get off the soap subject.

"Oh yeah!" Hughes shouted as a big grin appeared on his face and his glasses lit up again. "We need to get our own soap!"

"How?" Armstrong asked.

"Ah, that is an excellent question. I was thinking that over while you were gone."

"Did you come to a conclusion?" Armstrong asked. Havoc just stood next to him, glaring.

"Yes, I did," Hughes replied, "It's quite simple. The Central building holds several different soap bottles I'm sure. We just need to spilt up and find them!"

Havoc looked at Hughes. His expression half glaring, the other half curious, "And just how do we do that?"

Hughes and Armstrong stared for a minute. "Did I not just say that?" Hughes asked. "We spilt up!"

"And go where?" he asked.

"Simple!" Hughes replied as he pulled three small soap bottles seemly out of nowhere. "Armstrong, you go to the bathrooms, and Havoc, you go to the kitchen!"

"Hey!" Havoc snapped. "Why do I have to go to the kitchen?"

"Because," Hughes replied, "You already know what to expect."

"But…" Havoc tried to retaliate, but Armstrong cut in.

"And where are you going?" the large man asked.

"I have my resources," Hughes replied with an evil smile. Armstrong stared and Havoc glared. He wanted to kill Hughes, but he knew he'd get in trouble. If it wasn't for that threat, he'd have killed Hughes along time ago, and he would have made those damn pictures watch. "Alright, we're off troops! Good luck!"

20 minutes later there is much commotion heard in one of the offices.

"Give it back!" a short man snapped as he chased Hughes around the small office. In the middle of the office sat only one desk. In the back of the room was a bare wall with a few windows, the other walls were hidden behind bookcases, full of books and files.

"Come on, Herb. We only need it for a little bit," Hughes replied as he dashed away from the strange solider. They had been running around the desk in circles since Hughes arrived and swiped the small bottle of soap off the top of Herb's desk.

"I don't care!" Herb snapped. "Give it!" he shouted. Herb was a very short man indeed. He was considered the 'nerd of the military'. He was a germaphobic, meaning he needed to clean constantly to keep away any germs that might arise. He had frizzy red hair and thick black glasses. On his uniform he wore a pocket protector and his pants were pulled up so high it almost appeared that they touched his armpits. His underwear was pulled up even more so. His shirt was crammed tightly into his pants... well... his underpants... The white band of his tightly-whities shown vividly around his waist... or… chest… and was pulled down inch by inch as he scrambled after his soap's kidnapper.

"Yah!" Hughes shouted as he ran, almost tripping over a leg of the desk. "Owwww!" he whined as he bashed his knee on the wood of the desk. He was now partly hopping as he tried to stay away from Herb.

"Give it!" Herb snapped again as he jumped over the desk and tackled Hughes from behind. "I… need… CLEAN!" he shouted as they hit the floor with a thud. Hughes tried to scramble away, but Herb kept pulling him back. Then Hughes turned over on his back, so Herb was sitting on his stomach. Then he began his fight with the Major.

"We only need it for a little bit!" Hughes replied. One hand pushing against Herd's face, the other held the bottle, up and out of Herb's grasp.

In the bathroom we see Armstrong standing by the sink. He is by the mirror… pushing the little button on the soap dispenser that releases the soap. He held the small bottle under the small opening in the dispenser. Just pushing and pushing away, awaiting for the pink soap to stop flowing.

A toilet flushed and a small figure walked out of the stall. "Hello, Major sir," Fury said as he walked to the sinks. "Umm… what are you doing?" he asked curiously.

"Getting soap for Major Hughes," Armstrong replied, not removing his eyes from his mission. The soap continued to slide out slowly.

"I…see…" Fury said an unsure expression on his face. "Sir, are you alright?" he asked as he watched Armstrong. The big man was so concentrated on the soap. His face was mere inches from it. It almost looked like a dog about to herd its sheep. It stayed very close, not moving its gaze from those sheep, ready to pounce if they strayed from the flock.

"Yes, why would you ask that, Sergeant Major Fury?" Armstrong asked, still not removing his eyes from the pink liquid.

"Uh…. no reason…?" was all the child-like solider could think to say.

The muscle man didn't say anything in reply.

"Ok…?" Fury replied. He was about to leave then he remembered something. "Um... Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Some soap, please?" Fury asked as he held out his hands.

…_In the mess hall kitchen…_

"Get back here!" the large chef's voice was heard as the sound of pots crashing to the floor radiated through the area.

"AHHHHHH, PLEASE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Havoc's voice cried as the destructive noises continued.

"Hold him!" the little mobster chef shouted, "Hold him and I'll begin the weenie roast!"

"NUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOO!" Havoc shouted. "Ow! Watch it! Those prongs are sharp!" he growled as the small man poked him in the butt with the two pronged fork. Both hands covered his buttocks as he rounded the counter.

"Come here, li'l man," the other chef said as he chased him.

Havoc ran as fast as he could, watching his footing so he didn't trip over the discarded pots. _I got it!_ His eyes widened when he saw the orange dish soap sitting on the sink. He charged toward it.

"Stop! Or I'll cut you off at the knees!" the little chef snapped as he ran after Havoc, but his short legs proved too slow against Havoc's long ones.

"Sorry," Havoc replied as he neared the sink. He reached across the disgusting dirty pots and plates and grabbed the container. He smirked as the chefs ran toward him. _Thanks for the idea, Hughes._ He said as his smirk grew a little more.

"I hope you guys know all those nasty recipes by heart, cause you're not gonna be reading for awhile!" he shouted as he squeezed the small bottle.

"GGGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the chefs screeched as they grabbed at their eyes like two wild men.

"Not again!" the bigger chef snapped. Havoc and done this too him the last time he was here.

"Sorry, does that sting?" he asked as he watched the two men fall to the floor, screaming out in pain and agony. "Cold water helps," he said. From the corner of his eye he saw the silver spatula setting on the stove. "I'll just take this," Havoc said as he leaned over on his tip toes and reached his arm across the stove, grabbing the spatula that sat on the other end of it. "I'll see you at lunch," he chuckled with an evil grin as he dashed out of the room, soap and spatula in hand.

…_Back at the office…_

"Oooohhhhhhoooo…" Hughes moaned as he sat on the floor. His face was covered in scratches and a few band-aids from Herd's fingernails. "Where is he?"

"Still on the mission," Havoc replied as he sat on the other end of the room, leaning against the wall.

"How long does it take to get soap from a dispenser?" Hughes asked. The boredom of waiting was killing him.

"Dunno," Havoc replied, "I'll be sure to ask him when he gets back."

"Right…" Hughes said as he flopped back on the floor. His eyes fixed on the ceiling. _I wonder if Gracia misses me yet?_ He wondered, and then he rolled over on his side, still thinking about it. Suddenly he began crying those milk tears and started rolling back and forth on the floor like a mad man. "Oh my poor Gracia! I can't stand to think she's upset and missing me! It should be against the law to keep a good woman like her waiting like this!" he cried.

Havoc just watched. His expression wasn't shocked, impressed, or curious; it appeared that this was nothing out of the ordinary.

A few moments later they heard the door open. Hughes stopped rolling around and looked up toward the door. In the doorway he saw Armstrong.

"I'm sorry," the strong man replied as he closed the door behind him, "Have I kept you waiting long?"

"Yes!" Hughes snapped in a whiny voice as he sat back up.

Armstrong glanced over at Havoc.

"Only 10 minutes," Havoc replied.

Armstrong nodded then looked back to Hughes. "Here," he said as he held out the bottle. It was full to the very top with pink soap.

"Ah, good!" Hughes shouted as his smile returned and he took the bottle from Armstrong. Then he got up and walked over to the bucket that sat in the middle of the room. It was already filled with disgusting, murky, dark water. "Do you have yours, Havoc?" he asked as he looked over at the blond-haired man.

Havoc returned his question with a sigh and stood up, and then he reached into his pocket and pulled out the orange soap bottle.

"That's it?" Hughes asked as he took the bottle from his co-worker. It was almost empty.

"Sorry," Havoc replied, "I had to defend myself."

Hughes and Armstrong just stared at him confused.

"OK!" Hughes said as his glasses lit up. "Now we just mix it all together and presto!" he shouted as he began dumping the soap into the bucket. He dumped Havoc's orange soap and Armstrong's pink soap first, and then he pulled the bottle from his pocket and dumped the clear liquid into the mixture.

"Where'd you get that from?" Havoc asked as the last of the soap slid out from Hughes' bottle.

"Herb," Hughes replied not taking his eyes off the bucket.

Havoc and Armstrong exchanged glances. Then Havoc chuckled. "Wow… I guess you're not as bad as I thought, sir. You had it the worst out of all of us."

"Did you get hurt?" Armstrong asked.

"Well… I made it out alive," Hughes replied. "Now," he said as the last of the clear substance fell into the bucket. "We need to stir it. What do we have to work with?" he asked as he looked around the room.

An awkward silence appeared as the three men stared at the emptiness around them. The cricket was heard chirping again.

"CRICKET!" Hughes shouted as his eyes shot around the room, looking for the bug with an evil glare.

Havoc and Armstrong exchanged glances again. "I think the fumes from the soap are getting to him…" Havoc said as they watched Hughes rush around room, screaming out threats to the cricket.

"Maybe we should find something to mix the soap," Armstrong said as his gazed was brought back from Hughes.

"I have the perfect thing," Havoc said as he pulled the spatula out from behind his back. He had hidden it under his military jacket.

"The spatula!" Hughes said as his attention was brought back to the men when he saw the silver on the spatula sparkle. Then his eyes went back to darting around the room, "Another day, Cricket, another day," he said as he walked over to the bucket and took the spatula from the Lieutenant. Then he looked down at the nasty water.

"Is it supposed to look like that?" Havoc asked as he and Armstrong stared into the bucket as well. It was even murkier looking then before. It was mixture of dark and light shades of gray. There was also a hint of pink and orange as the soap floated on the surface.

Hughes leaned over and began to sniff, "Hmm... smells like slime and lemons…" he said with a smile as he looked up at his friends.

Havoc shrugged and Hughes began mixing all the bucket contained together. As Hughes stirred, the stuff that had been previously stuck on the bottom of the bucket began to come to the top as the whirlpool pulled it around.

"Oooohooooohooo…man…" Havoc said as he covered his nose with his arm. "That's disgusting," he whined as he watched the content of the bucket swirl around and around.

"CRICKET!" Hughes shouted when he saw a dead cricket come to surface. "I hope he wasn't related to my cricket…" he said as he continued to stir.

"Are you sure you want to wash the floor with this?" Armstrong asked. Unsure of what all the bucket held.

"Yup," Hughes replied, "Won't Roy and Riza be proud when they come home and see this place all clean!"

"It won't smell clean," Havoc said. Hughes ignored his comment.

"There, it's all done," Hughes said a few minutes later. It was done indeed; the white suds were overflowing and sliding down the bucket and onto the floor.

"How are we going to do this?" Armstrong asked. Havoc picked up the mop. He was about to dip the end of the mop in when Hughes grabbed the bucket and pulled it to his chest, some of the water and suds spilling onto the floor.

"This will be must faster," he said as he took the silver tin and flung it. A splash noise was heard as all the water landed on the floor throughout the entire room.

"Eeewwwwweeewwwwwwww…. God…" Havoc said as he saw the suds all over the floor. "It's… everywhere…." a sick expression appeared on his face when he saw the cricket, covered in suds, lying where Roy's desk used to be. Other items lay on the floor as well. Some of it you could tell what they were. Some of it was paper, there was an egg that looked to be 100 years old and hard boiled, part of a potato, and a shoelace. The other things were unrecognizable. They weren't sure if they wanted to know what they were.

"Hmm…" Hughes said as he looked over the room. "We need more soap."

Armstrong nodded.

"Let's spread out!" Hughes shouted. "I know there's more then one bathroom in this place!" Then he, Havoc, and Armstrong set out on yet another mission. They raided all the bathrooms in their half of the Central building.

They met up once again a little while later, this time they had more then one bottle full of soap. Getting things ready took a little doing as well. They had to run back and forth to get water, but in the end it worked out, the floor was all covered in white suds.

"It looks like Christmas!" Hughes said excitedly as the room reminded him of the snow-covered ground.

"Believe me…" Havoc replied. "This… is far from Christmas…"

"Awww… that's not true," he said disappointedly. He had already jumped in the mess and was covered in suds. "I'm sure you can find a present in here somewhere, or a reindeer terd."

"Please, don't say that, sir," Havoc replied, a disgusted look on his face.

Armstrong took the mop and began sweeping back and forth. Some of the suds flew in the air from his forceful swaying movement.

"Hey," Havoc retorted as he watched Armstrong, "Don't do it so hard," he said as he walked over to him. He was up to his knees in white foam. The soapy mess seemed to cling to their clean clothes. "You're going to…"

Havoc was cut off by a snapping sound.

"….break it…" He finished his statement with a hopeless expression.

Armstrong stared at the two pieces on the mop; he held one in each hand.

"Hey guys!" they heard Hughes' voice chime from across the room. They looked over and saw Hughes lying on his back, spreading his limbs apart then bringing them back together. "SUD ANGELS!"

"…"

"…. How can you lay in that?" Havoc asked as he watched Hughes play in the nasty muck.

Just then Hughes noticed the end of the mop in Armstrong's hand. "Oh!" he shouted happily as he got an idea. He quickly got up and swiped the end of the mop from Armstrong. Then he went over to a clean spot and began to work.

Armstrong and Havoc watched curiously.

After a few moments he stepped back, a smile spread across his face as he admired his work. "Sud Gracia!"

"Eh?" Havoc and Armstrong walked over and saw Hughes had drawn his wife in the soap, using the end of the stick as a pencil.

"Hmmm…" Armstrong said as he brought his hand to his chin, "That's not bad."

Just then there was a pounding on the door. "OPEN THIS DOOR!" The voice boomed as the person slammed his fist down on the wood.

Havoc's head shot toward the door, a panic-stricken look on his face.

"It's a good thing I locked that. Can you imagine how much trouble we'd get in if the Brigadier General saw this?" Hughes said as he glanced around at all the white suds.

"Do something!" Havoc shouted. Armstrong still stared at Hughes' artwork, thinking.

"Swipe it up!" Hughes said as he bent over and ran forward, his arms full of bubbly suds. "Come on, Havoc." Gran still pounded on the door.

"I'm not touching that!" Havoc retorted. Hughes quickly ran to the far end on the room, pushed the garbage bag out the window with his elbow, and then threw the giant load of white soap out. Some of it floated slowly to the ground, some was blown away in the wind, and other parts clung to his arms. He began trying to swipe the clinging suds off.

"Lieutenenant Havoc!" Gran snapped. "Open this door now!"

_Why me? Why always me?_ Havoc cried as Hughes was seen running back and forth behind him.

"Armstrong," Hughes said as he stopped for a minute to look at the big man. His arms full of another load of suds. Thanks to Hughes the corner of the room was sud free, but it was still stinky and not clean. "You could help, you know?"

"Oh what do we do?" Havoc shouted and fell to his knees, the suds around him taking flight on the air current he had just created. If it wasn't the General he could have cared less who saw. But this was the Brigadier General, and he wasn't a very nice person. He could hear Gran's voice in the background. It was becoming more enraged by the second.

"Hmmmm…" Armstrong mumbled as he stared at Hughes' creation a little longer. "Major Hughes?"

"Yes?" Hughes replied, standing at the window trying to get the suds off one of his sleeves.

"Do you still have the end of that mop? I think I have a solution to our current dilemma," Armstrong replied as he looked over at Hughes.

"Uh?" Hughes glanced back at him, "Yes, it should be right there," he said as he pointed his soap covered finger at his drawing.

Armstrong nodded and bent over. His arms digging around in the white bubbles.

"HUGHES!" Gran shouted angrily. "I'll break this door down if you don't open it in the next two seconds!"

Havoc still panicked to the side. Armstrong then pulled the stick from the floor.

"What are you planning to do?" Hughes asked as he watched Armstrong.

"This is no time to be drawing pictures!" Havoc replied, "Are you drawing what you want your tombstone to look like?"

"No," Armstrong replied. After another second or two he stepped back.

"Hm?" Hughes and Havoc both looked down at Armstrong's work.

"Is that an alchemy circle?" Hughes asked as he looked down at the round drawing.

Armstrong nodded, "Stand back," he said as he put his hands down on the floor, careful not to mess up the suddy circle. Then a bright light appeared as the outline of the circle began to glow a yellow color.

"What the?" Gran scoffed when he saw the yellow glow come out from the cracks of the door. "Hughes!" he shouted again as he used his alchemy to transform his fist into iron. _I warned them._ He growled as he punched the door with his iron fist.

The door exploded as Gran stepping in angrily. A sneer on his face. "What is going on in here?" he asked as he looked down at the soldiers.

"Uh?" Everyone's face now possessed a confused expression.

Much to Grand surprise the room looked good as new. The tile and walls were all clean and polished, the light was fixed, the cleaning supplies that were discarded throughout the room now sat neatly against the back wall. The one thing that wasn't replaced was in the window.

"Hey!" Hughes said happily as he put one hand up in a waving gesture. He, Havoc, and Armstrong sat in the middle of the clean floor.

"What's going on in here?" Gran asked.

"We were just discussing the best place to get a new window," Hughes replied. "And I was showing my comrades my newest pictures! Gracia is so hot! Wanna see?"

"No!" the Brigadier General replied as his eyes glanced around the room. Aside from the window there was no imperfection he could see. "And what was that light I saw a moment ago?"

"Uh…" Havoc stared, unsure of what to say. Armstrong knew better, he let Hughes have the floor.

"Oh, that was Lieutenant Havoc," Hughes replied with a smile.

Gran glared at him.

"Yeah…" Hughes continued on. "Havoc was trying to light a cigarette. He was sitting on the floor, and lit the match. Armstrong was standing behind him, and well, farted. It caused an explosion."

Armstrong and Havoc glanced at Hughes in a 'what kind of excuse is that?' manner.

"Why is there no proof of the explosion then?" Grand asked, expecting to see at least a little black around the area the fart took place.

"…it didn't touch anything…?" Hughes replied, unsure if he'd been backed into a corner with this story or not.

"I see," Gran replied as he turned around, hands folded behind his back. "Get that window and report to me when finished," he said as he left the room.

"Uh?"

"Hm?"

"Wha?" Havoc and Armstrong sat… speechless and what had just happened. Hughes smiled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Yes, sir," he said with a nervous, but happy expression on his face.

AN: Hi all! Did ya like it? I told you there were too many parts for this chapter. I now see I should have made it three chapters. Oh well, what can you do? It was 20 pages! (small font) Next is Royai, yay!


	39. Just Because You Won, Doesn’t Mean You F

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 39: Just Because You Won, Doesn't Mean You Followed Orders

"Come on, Mister!" Jazz shouted as she and Roy ran down one of the sandy pathways. She was a good distance ahead of him. "This way! Hurry up, hurry up! Before they catch us!" she called as she looked back and saw Roy following behind her. His pace was not as fast as she wanted.

Roy stumbled after her, going as fast as he could. Sever exhaustion and lack of sleep was winning over willpower at this point. The sun shining down on them felt good after the cold night. Riza lay limp in his arms. His mind numb as it tried to catch up with what was going on, as well as block out the immeasurable pain he felt in his arm and now in his lower back as well. The event that had taken place earlier had shocked him greatly. He felt as if his body could react, but his mind couldn't process what was going on. Everything seemed so far away and in slow motion when it was really right in front of him and happening very fast.

"Come on!" Jazz shouted again as she stopped and waited for Roy to catch up with her. "I know a good place to hide!"

He continued to stumble along; trying to take in what was going on and what had happened to them before in the fight. This had been going on for a few hours. To him it seemed like they had been running for an entirety. They were able to stop every so often. He would lay Riza down and try to examine her wounds as well as rest. But before he was even able to catch his breath they were forced to get up and move, in fear of being discovered and killed.

Roy looked up at the little girl as he began to come back to reality. The wounds on his left arm ached and bled as they were ripped open from the escape. He flinched a little as he looked down at Riza again. She lay in his arms. His left arm throbbed in pain as it supported the weight of her upper body. His good arm held the lower half of her weak and aching figure. He wasn't sure why he had the heavier end on his wounded side, but his mind wasn't really all there, which was probably the reason for it. He often wondered if she was in any pain. He hoped she was too out of it to feel anything. It almost appeared like she was sleeping, but with great difficulty breathing. His dark eyes traced her navy blue jacket as he followed Jazz. Stumbling and falling to his knees, but quickly getting back up and trying again. His eyes widened when he saw the dark red color on Riza's uniform. He had seen it before, but as his mind began to get clearer and clearer he started to realize she had been shot. His arm didn't notice the hot liquid seeping off her body and onto his sleeve from the pain rushing through it, but the right shoulder area of Riza's uniform was covered in hot sticky blood. 'Don't die' was all that ran through his mind as he stared at her. He stopped suddenly and fell to his knees as the battle scene that took place just hours before flashed before his eyes.

"Mister!" Jazz called. Once she saw Roy was not getting back up she ran back toward him. "Come on!" she shouted as she tugged on his right arm. "They're coming! They'll find us if we don't leave!"

Roy's eyes stayed fixed on Riza. They remained wide as shock overcame him. He could hear Jazz yelling at him, but she seemed so far away. Then he heard their voices, he saw the storm raging, and the two women staring at each other.

He saw Grimm and Riza glaring at each other. A smirk on Grimm face as she watched Riza struggle to catch her breath. Both their guns raised. Their target? Each other. The storm raged on behind them. It was all so clear as it replayed in his mind. It seemed just as real as the first time.

_/Begin Flashback/_ (Sorry, I know no other way to say this.)

"Don't worry," Grimm said with a confident smile, "We'll be sure you won't be alone too long. You can follow all your Colonel's precious orders in the afterlife."

Riza sneered as the lighting flashed, and a single shot was fired.

_Bang!_

Riza was overcome by shock as her amber eyes widened. Her right shoulder was suddenly numb with pain. Then she felt the heat from her blood begin to consume her uniform.

"MISS RIZA!" Jazz's piercing scream cut through the darkness. Tears in the little girl's eyes as she watched Riza stumble around a bit, and struggle to stay up, aiming her pistol and Grimm.

Grimm smirked. The others stood quietly behind her.

"Ach…" Riza flinched as she felt her blood spilling all over the ground. _No._ She scoffed as her body slumped forward a little. She forced herself up again. Her eyes saw all the blood on the ground. She knew it was all hers. Her arm was full of immense pain, but she managed to keep her pistol raised. The gun quivered as it was unsteadily held in the hand of her now wounded arm. Riza jeered again as she glanced up. Her pistol began to shake more violently as she tried with all her might to keep it raised. If she failed, then both she and the Lieutenant Colonel would be killed.

"Hawkeye!" Roy shouted when he saw the blood dripping on the ground. He tried to move toward her, but was quickly stopped.

"Don't move," Shadow said calmly as he pushed the blade of his sai farther into Roy's back. It wasn't enough to pierce the skin, but it was very uncomfortable.

A growl escaped Roy's lips as he cursed to himself and his attention quickly went back to Riza.

"Why don't you shoot, Lieutenant?" Grimm asked calmly as she held her gun firmly. "Are you having troubling seeing?"

Some small struggling noises escaped Riza's throat as she glared at Grimm. Her face covered with sweat as her vision blurred. She didn't have enough stamina left to speak.

"Miss Riza!" Jazz cried when she saw Riza begin to slump forward again. She could tell Riza was losing consciousness from the blood lose.

Roy sneered when he saw Riza was losing it as well. He could tell she was really getting bad when her gun fell toward the earth. Her eyes shot open when she felt it falling. She quickly tightened her grip and forced her arm up. She flinched again as the sharp pain shot through her body. She was doing some real damage to herself by forcing her arm around when it was badly wounded.

_I get it..._ Riza said as she held her arm up. Her heavy breathing continued. _She shot me in the right shoulder so I couldn't use my weapon anymore. If she disables my arm, then I can't aim my pistol._ She scoffed as she felt her arm giving way again. _No!_ She cursed as she forced it back up in the aiming position. _I won't let myself be overcome by this. I can't lose it, I can't._ She repeated to herself, but to no avail. She slowly and painfully felt herself slipping farther and farther into the darkness.

Grimm and the others watched with amused smiles on their faces.

Roy jeered again. _I have to do something._ He growled as his dark eyes glanced back at Shadow. He saw the teen had his full attention set on Grimm. _This is my chance!_

"No! Miss Riza!" he heard Jazz cry from the other end of the room again. The Lieutenant Colonel's gaze immediately went back to Riza long enough to see her fall to her knees. Her breathing was uncontrollably heavy as she coughed and spat, trying to get a clean breath of air.

"Are you giving up?" Grimm asked. The sound of the rain hitting the wood was heard all around them.

Riza lifted her head just high enough to see Grimm's face. Her eyes squinted as she tried to make out the teen's expression though the blurry vision. All she could make out was a satisfied smirk on her face. _…no…_ she thought as she tried to force her arm up again. But she quickly found she couldn't lift it anymore. It felt like it weighed one thousand pounds. She growled and cursed her weakness as she looked down and saw her arm hanging limp off her shoulder. A bead of sweat traveled down her brow as she saw everything suddenly go dark.

"RIZA!" Jazz shouted as tears streamed down her face. Her heart felt as if it had stopped in her chest and her tears flowed faster. She saw Riza fall to the side. It seemed like everything was in slow motion as she watched her body hit the ground.

_No!_ Roy scoffed. He watched as Riza lay motionless. The only movement he detected was her chest moving up and down at a fast deep pace. _I have to do something now!_ His eyes shot back toward Shadow. When he saw the teen's attention was not on him he lunged over to the left side. He rolled and stopped a few feet away. Once away from Shadow he went for Riza. He quickly kneeled next to her. "Hold on, Lieutenant," was all he could think to say. His voice was serious and deep. It sounded as if he was giving her a direct order. He gently slid his hand under her head and lifted it, letting her rest in on his arm, and then with his wounded hand he grabbed her pistol, which lay only inches from her limp fingers.

"Damn you!" Grimm cursed. She wasn't too happy with Shadow at the moment. _He'll need more training. _She thought as she aimed her dark gun at Roy.

"Hey!" Hell's Fire snapped. "Shadow, watch what you're doing!"

Shadow sneered when he saw Roy had escaped. "Grimm, I got him!" he said trying to makeup for his mistake. "Try getting out of this!" he spat as he threw one of his sais at Roy.

"Mister, what out!" Jazz called when she saw the bladed weapon take flight.

Roy glanced back in the blink of an eye. The sai was right on him. He growled and was about to jump out of the way when he felt the weight on his arm. He glanced back down as saw Riza still passed out and resting on him. He scoffed when the fact that one of them was going to get hit came crashing down on him.

"Mister!" Jazz cried falling to her knees and covering her eyes with her small hands.

Shadow smirked as he watched.

Roy cursed again as he turned back to Riza. He leaned over her. His face was only a few inches from hers as he cradled and protected her.

Then the weapon made contact.

"GAH!" a scream escaped Roy's lips as he felt the sharp blades lodge in his lower back. _Dammit._ He cursed again as his backside burned with pain. He glanced up at Grimm, only one of his eyes were open as he tried to fight the unnerving pain. His other eye was clamped shut as all his muscles tensed from the pain.

"What's wrong, Lieutenant Colonel?" Grimm asked with a smirk. "Did that hurt?"

Roy just glared at her, hate and rage were plastered all over his face as he reached back with his wounded arm and clasped the sai's handle. _Good._ He thought as his fingers traced the weapon for a second. _The blades didn't go in very deep. The wound shouldn't be too serious. I don't think it even got though the muscle tissue. _Then he grabbed the handle again, getting a good tight grip. He hissed again and flinched. He pulled the handle straight back with great force. The weapon burst from his skin, blood oozing out after it, dripping on the ground behind him.

Roy's eyes remained on Grimm, and then they glanced back to Shadow. He saw Jazz behind the boy on the far end of the room. She was sobbing uncontrollably. Then his eyes widened when he noticed the unblocked window behind her. _That's it!_

"Well..." Grimm began, "It's been fun, but I think this has gone on long enough."

Roy looked back at her and smirked, "I agree."

"Hm?" Grimm's smirk quickly faded into confusion as her blue eyes narrowed on him

"Just hold tight, Lieutenant. We'll be out of here in a minute," he whispered as he shifted Riza head, moving her off his arm and resting her back on the ground. Once Riza's head was on the floor Roy shifted her pistol to his good hand, in his wounded hand he held the sai. So after he was all finished switching, Riza's gun was in his right hand, Shadow's sai in his left.

_What's he up too?_ Grimm wondered. The dark did not allow her to see these small movements Roy made. The Lieutenant Colonel was also very careful at how he moved his weapons. He didn't move them to suddenly, or at a strange angle, in fear the sliver plating would flash in the next lightening bolt.

"Hmmm…" Shadow watched curiously. He pulled out his remaining sai, ready to attack if he thought necessary.

Roy sat still for a few minutes. He learned in training that if you don't attack immediately they will either put their guard down, thinking it was just a bluff. Or they would be too surprised to attack at that very second. His eyes wandered to the men behind Grimm. He saw some of them lying dead on the ground. The rain soaking the bodies and giving them a strange odor. He slowly opened the chamber of the gun and glanced down. _Six bullets left._ He thought when he saw the chamber was full. Then he glanced around, hoping the enemy wouldn't see him moving. He looked to Grimm, then Hell's Fire, then Shadow. As his eyes darted around the room he remembered Lex. His eyes shifted to the gang leader_. He hasn't stepped in yet. I don't think he will be a threat. Why isn't he fighting anyway, usually the leader is the first to fight._ Roy wondered. Then he shook his head a bit. _Don't think about that, you have more important things to do._ He scolded himself as he got serious.

"Well…?" Grimm asked after the extended silence. "Are you going to move?"

Roy smirked, "Yes, but sadly you won't be there to see it."

"What?" Grimm asked and got ready to fire. But Roy was already prepared for this. Before she could fire he pulled out Riza's pistol. He pointed the barrel up above the door and shot.

_This better work._ He sneered as he pulled the trigger twice. Once on the left, once on the right. Just as the second bullet hit the wood began to creak and crack loudly.

"What did you do?" Grimm snapped as her eyes hit the door frame above her. The cracking got louder, followed by the sound of planks snapping.

Hell's Fire's eyes widened. Since she wasn't directly under the door she could see things Grimm could not. "Grimm!" she shouted when she saw the door frame, and a great deal of wood that was above it begin to break part and collapse.

Grimm's eyes shot to her little sister.

"Watch out!" Hell's Fire shouted as she ran toward her sister. "IT'S FALLING!"

"What?" Grimm looked up at the ceiling again. Her eyes widened when she saw it was coming down on her. The whole front wall of the building was. Roy's bullets had knocked out a valuable part of the support for the door frame. The rest of the wall couldn't support itself, causing the whole thing to collapse.

Hell's Fire's plan was to save Grimm, but it sort of turned out the other way around. "Let's go! Everyone, get away from here!" Grimm instructed. The other men did as told and scattered around outside, a good distance away from the building. Lex ran out as well, not wanting to get stuck in the building alone with Shadow and Roy. Then Grimm turned back to Hell's Fire. The red eyed teen was standing beside her sister, unsure of what to do. She was a great fighter, but in this situation she wasn't so sure on what Grimm wanted her to do. "Come on!" Grimm said as she grabbed Hell's Fire's arm and pulled her out of the building.

"Eh!" Hell's Fire said in surprise as Grimm yanked her out. A few seconds later the wall fell, the loud crashing noise drowned out all the other sounds in the area, including Jazz's cries, and dust appeared everywhere. Roy hunched over Riza's wounded shoulder and stomach. This prevented the dirt from getting into the wounds. He flinched as some of the dust settled in the uncovered wounds on his arm and back.

As the last of the wood fell much of the outside world could be seen. There was a huge mess in front of the military dogs, but up higher on the building it was clear. All the wood that once made up the front wall had fallen down. The rain began to pour in. It landed on Roy, soaking his hair and uniform. The cold drops of water offered the wound on his back a little relief from the burning stinging pain, but it still wasn't enough to show him any comfort.

Shadow still stood behind Roy. His yellow eyes on the floor, his fists clenched with rage. The rain didn't get to him as much as it did to Roy, but it did some. His black bangs began to sink down over his piercing yellow eyes as they were pulled down by the weight of the water. "How… could you…?" He managed to spit out. His jaws began to ache as they clenched with rage. "You could have killed her." He said quietly and angrily as he looked up at Roy. "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED GRIMM!"

Roy heard him, but didn't pay any attention to the teen's shouts. He stared down at Riza. His dark eyes watching her closely.

Riza still lay on the floor. She flinched a little, and a small moan escaped her lips as the cold water hit her pale face. Roy still wasn't sure if she could feel pain. If she was able to speak she could have told him, but probably wouldn't have admitted that it really did hurt. The time-of-the-month just added more to her suffering. All in all, her stomach ached from the wounds she received from both Grimm's and Shadow's blades. Her right shoulder hurt from the gunshot wound. She could tell the nerve was involved in the damage. She didn't know if she had done it while forcing her arm up, or if the bullet had snagged it, but there were sharp, shooting pain running down her arm every few seconds. Her chest was filled with pain. She didn't know if that was from the gunshot wound or just from working over her limit. Her abdomen continued to ache from the never-ending cramps. The stress of it all just made her muscles tense tighter and more frequent, causing the cramps to never cease. She felt sick to her stomach, and her head hurt like anything. That time-of-the-mouth gave her one heck of a splitting headache.

Roy still sat next to her. His face wasn't as it usually was. It was calm, but it held something else besides calmness, a bit of failure lingered there as well. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant," he began. His voice was calm and quiet. You could hear the failure he felt in his tone of speech. "I was under orders to aid and protect you in this mission. I guess it tuned out the other way around, huh? You ended up saving me." he smirked with a bit of a chuckle. "I'm really glad you can't hear me right now, Hawkeye. I guess it's only fair I say this." Suddenly his voice perked up a bit and held some cockiness. He was beginning to come back to his old self. "Actually being able to hear it was never talked about anywhere in the rules. So as long as I say it I have an un-guilty conscious." Then his smirk faded and his voice got quiet and calm again. "Remember that fight we had back in Central? Well, I guess you won. You showed me a woman could do a man's job, if not better. Congrats."

There was almost a dead silence in the room for a few minutes as the people who inhabited it thought over what had happened to them. The only sounds that were heard was the rain outside and Jazz's sobs in the back of the room. Every now and they they'd hear a loud snap, or crack, followed by a curse word. Telling them the gangsters were trying to get back in by climbing over the mess, but so far none of them was succeeding. Roy saw no reason to worry about it.

Then Shadow broke the silence. "I'll kill you! You almost killed Grimm!" he snapped again as he summed up enough strength to swallow some of the emotion. This allowed his fists to relax a little. After Grimm had taken him in out of her own free will, nursed him back to health, and taught him everything she knew. The thought of her beginning killed caused something inside him to snap.

Roy's attention went back to the enraged boy. His face became serious and he tightened his grip on the gun and the sai. "If you allow us to go free, then I will not harm you," he said hoping Shadow would let them pass, but judging by the way the teen was acting he didn't think it was going to happen.

"Don't give me that crap," Shadow replied. He was once again overcome with rage. His fists were clenched so tight his fingernails dug into the skin of his palms, causing them to bleed. "You almost killed Grimm," he snapped again. Then his face met Roy's. "YOU ALMOST KILLED GRIMM! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!" he spat as he grabbed his sai and pointed it at Roy.

Roy clenched the sai even tighter in his wounded hand.

"Take this!" Shadow yelled. His voice full of hate and rage. Then he lunged at the military dog.

Before the boy got to them, Roy threw the sai at Shadow.

Shadow's eyes widened and he stopped dead in his tracks. He used his sai to block the one Roy had just thrown. A loud clang was heard as the blades hit each other and began to entangle.

Once Roy heard the loud noise he scooped Riza up and dashed for the back of the room.

"GET BACK HERE!" Shadow cursed as he grabbed the end of the second sai and pulled them apart. "STOP!" he shouted again. He was about to throw the bladed weapon at Roy again.

"Mister, watch out!" Jazz cried. Once she heard the loud clang her attention came back to them.

Roy quickly glanced back. When he saw Shadow about to throw his weapon he stopped and turned to face him. In the blink of and eye Riza's silver pistol became visible in his hand.

"Damn…" Shadow growled. He threw his sai just as Roy opened fire.

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_ Roy contained to fire until Riza's gun was out of bullets. He dodged the sai easily. The blades landed in the wooden floor, leaving the handle sticking in the air. "Sorry, kid," he said as he stared at Shadow.

Shadow glared at him, unsure of what he had done. Just then he heard the wood below him cracking. "NO!" he snapped as he looked down and felt the floor below him give way. Just then there was a loud thud as dust appeared and clouded the air everywhere in the immediate area.

Roy smirked. _That trick always works. I wish we had floors like this at home._ Then he turned around and ran to the back of the room. "You ok?" He asked as he approached Jazz.

"Uh-huh," she replied with a small nod. Then she looked at Riza.

"Don't worry," Roy began when he saw her worried face, "We'll save her."

Jazz smiled, "Come on! This way! I know where we can go!" she chimed as she ran over to the window and climbed out.

Roy followed. It was a little difficult with Riza in his arms, but after a few seconds he got out.

"Go around the back!" They heard Grimm's voice shout.

"Did she just think of that now?" Roy asked.

"No," Jazz replied, "She was trying to get in the front. That way is a lot faster. The wood usually breaks easy. She was trying to get though it first. Once she saw she couldn't is when she decided to come back here."

"Oh," Roy replied.

"Yeah! Come on, let's go!" she said again with a smile as she took off running.

He quickly followed.

/End Flashback/

"Mister!" Jazz tugged on Roy's arm hard, bringing him out of his thoughts. She was beginning to get very scared and irritated. She knew she really shouldn't, but she was about read to go and yank on his wounded arm.

Roy looked down at her with a questionable expression.

"Come on, they're coming!" she said.

"Let's go this way!" they heard a voice call. It wasn't that far away and sounded like it was heading their way.

"Jazz!" Roy snapped as he stood up, "Why didn't you tell me they were coming?"

Jazz's expression became annoyed, "I di-" She tried to retaliate, but Roy grabbed her arm… sort of… while holding Riza he couldn't really grab her, so he pushed her a little.

"Where's that place you were talking about?" Roy asked as he led the way.

A big smile appeared on Jazz's face when he brought up her hiding place. She quickly ran in front of him. Her body facing him as she jogged backwards. "It's not far! Come on!" she shouted happy then turned around and dashed off.

Roy stared after her. His mind was now clear, clear enough that he could tell what was going on at least, and things weren't in slow motion or far away anymore. All he needed was a little time to rest. He tried to speed up, but was held back when the pain in his back shot though his body. _Don't over due it._ He scolded himself again. _Don't over exhaust yourself. It will only make things worse if you do. _He repeated over and over. He was quickly worn down, more quickly then he realized. Before they had made it too far he was stumbling around again, but thankfully his mind wasn't clouded.

"In here!" Jazz said as she pointed into a doorway.

Roy stopped and glanced up at the building. It looked just like any other building. There was nothing special about it. "This is your great place?"

"Yes!" Jazz said with a proud smile and dashed in.

Roy gave somewhat of a sigh. _Well… as long as they won't find us._ He thought as he looked down at Riza, and then started in.


	40. Life Through a Child's Eyes

AN: Hi guys! Thanks again for the reviews! I think I forgot to answer some reviews in chapter 38… Sweat drops. Sorry about that. I was in a big rush and pretty much skimmed and posted to get it up for all of you. That's the main reason for the grammar errors and typos. I went back and fixed all those I found, by the way.

paperback novel: You read all 38 chapters in one sitting? Wow... I have no idea what to say… I'm amazed…

To all of you who wanted to know why Armstrong didn't think of using alchemy in the first place: Number one: It's Armstrong, Hughes, and Havoc we are talking about here… seeing the 'suds Gracia' made a light bulb click in his big bald skull.  
Number two: Didn't that make the story funnier?  
Number three: I had to think of some creative way to show you how the office got all fixed up!

raven krystal: YAY COOKIE! Dives for cookie.

Blonde-Existentialist: This story comes into play before the show began. If you didn't know already I'm thinking about doing more with this after this story is complete, sequel and such (maybe) that will lead up into the anime. I'd say it takes place two or three years before the anime.

Appartion7: This is the begging of the NEW chapters! I hope I can still write effectively. It's been awhile since I actually had to write anything, ya know?

mycatcoco7: Hmm... I was at war about this for along time. But after Hughes death I found I missed him a lot while watching the anime. So I have decided Hughes is my favorite character. But Roy and Riza tie for second. But Wrath is so damn cute (before he ate the stones) that he ranks pretty high up there, too! If you also want someone from the FMA manga then LING! He's too awesome!

Geez... you people I swear. You give me much more grief then the people who read this the first time. You're too sharp and notice every little mistake. It's great for you, but makes my job so much harder… I have to think of new ways to thrill you, and read over the chapter two or three times, looking for anything that you'd complain about. I thank you for doing this because it really does improve this fic a lot . And charriXD... you remind me of my grammar teacher . You should be happy you know the laws of grammar for I do not. Reefers to chapter 39 review. I don't even know what half the words I'm using mean XDD. I'm doing my best but I'm not perfect! If I'm trying, then you still hold some respect for me, right?

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 40: Life Though a Child's Eyes

Jazz dashed into the building leaving Roy alone outside with Riza. The Lieutenant Colonel followed, he had to jerk Riza's body upward every few steps to keep from dropping her. His wounded arm was not aiding him in supporting her weight. He felt bad about it. He didn't know if it hurt her or not, but she wasn't showing any signs of distress so he continued to do it when needed.

The military dog walked slowly and tiredly through the doorframe. His heavy footsteps were heard as he entered the building and his weight shifted on the old wood. It felt good to be on a stable floor instead of shifting, heavy, wet sand. He walked deeper into the room slowly and cautiously. It appeared to be cleaner and sturdier then any buildings he had seen previously. The place didn't smell as much like rotting wood as the others, and the floor didn't creak beneath him, which was nice. The color of the wood was also lighter and healthier looking. _They must not come in here very much. It doesn't look used or damaged._ His eyes inspected every crevasse, plainly visible or not, looking for and potential danger. _Wow… this looks really special._ He thought with somewhat of an annoyed expression as he glanced around the room, in search of anything that seemed out of the ordinary.

_Where'd she go?_ He wondered as he stood in the middle of the room. He didn't see Jazz anywhere.

_Crrrreeeeaaaaakkkkk…._

A small sound was coming from the ceiling. Roy's eyes immediately went to the roof above him. Then he heard a pounding noise run across the floor. It sounded like footsteps going at a fast pace.

Roy's dark eyes narrowed. He pulled the sliver pistol from his jacket and got ready to defend himself.

"Hey!" he heard Jazz's voice chime.

"Huh?" the soldier looked around with a confused expression. He could hear Jazz, but he didn't see her anywhere.

"Hey!" he heard her voice again. "Up here!"

He looked in the direction he thought Jazz's voice was coming from.

"I'M UP HERE!"

Then Roy looked to the right corner of the room and then saw Jazz's face. She was on the second floor. Her face was peering down at him from the opening to the second floor. A big smile was plastered across her face. Her raven black hair hung down as she stared at him. It was so long that it rested on one of the stairs below her. "Up here, silly," she said. Her smile didn't fade.

Roy didn't reply. He didn't know what to say nor did he feel like coming up with something. All he wanted to do was rest. He walked over to the stairs. His body appeared strong as he held Riza in his arms. His stride was normal and he never faltered, but his face was tired and had a worn-out look to it. His once piercing eyes were dull and rings had appeared under the half open sockets, letting everyone plainly see he had not slept in awhile.

Jazz's smile faded when she noticed Roy's expression. "Are you ok, Mister?" she asked. Now she felt bad for him. She couldn't blame him for being tired or discouraged.

Roy gave a small nod as he started up the stairs. His feet seemed to weight 100 pounds as he hosted them in the air. It felt like each step was higher then the last. His eyes looked tiredly down at the floor as he continued on. It took him several minutes before he had made it to the top.

Jazz took a few steps back, giving Roy space to stand before her. _Is he really that tired?_ She wondered when Roy made it to the top and peered down at her. He didn't seem like that same man at all. He was quiet and exhausted. This was not the same cocky strong man she had met before. "Mister?" she asked in a somewhat sad tone. Her face was overcome with concern and sorrow as she stared up at him.

He stared down at her. He still didn't feel like speaking at the moment. His throat was dry and ached from the beating it received from Hell's Fire's whip.

"Um…" Jazz said as her brown eyes hit the floor, and then slowly traveled back up to his face. Her expression now held guilt. Any mother would know this face. This was the face little kids had when they were about to confess something they had done wrong. "I'm sorry my daddy hurt you and I got you in trouble," she said quietly as her face went back to the floor.

Roy stared at her for a few seconds then gave a small smile. "It's ok, I'm alright."

Jazz's eyes lit up as she looked back up at him. A happy relived expression was plastered all over her small face.

Roy's smile got a little bigger and cockier as his dark eyes gained a little more life. "Now…" He said as he pulled Riza up again. Suddenly the stinging pain of his arm reminded him of what was going on. "Where was that special place of yours?"

"Ah!" Jazz's small eyes shined with joy. She was so happy Roy wasn't angry at her. Usually if this happened she would get a beating or the person would leave her all alone. She was overjoyed to see Roy didn't want to do either of the two. "This way, Mister!" she shouted happily and grabbed his good arm. "This way! This way, this way! Come on, Mister!" she chimed as she pulled Roy down the hallway.

He followed; the small smile still on his face as he stared down at Jazz. He was glad to see her happy-go-lucky attitude again. Then he glanced up. He saw doors or empty doorframes on both sides of the hall. Thanks to the rooms with the missing doors he could see the rooms up here were very small. They were about even smaller then his office. The windows were not covered by boards, and some of the glass had been broken out of them. The floors were littered with old papers and tons of dust. At the end of the hall he was surprised to see another window. The sun shown in brightly and fell across the wooden planks. Their heavy footsteps and Jazz's happy voice were all that was heard as they walked to the end of the hallway.

"In here!" she said excitedly as she pulled him into the last room on the left. This room had a door. She released Roy's sleeve and pushed it open. Then ran in and turned to look at him. "What do you think?"

Roy stood in the doorway, surprised at what sat in front of him. "Do you live in here?"

This room was small too, but it appeared to be in a little better shape, and it did appear as if it had been lived in. It had been cleaned of all the debris that all the other rooms possessed. On the far wall was a little set up of boxes, they somewhat resembled a chair and table by the way they were stacked. His eyes looked down to the right of his body. On the floor lay a dirty, old, smelly, ripped, mat-like blanket. The top of the mat was pushed up against the wall. It was a dark grey color. On top of the cot-like thing was an old blue rag, which Roy guess was used as a blanket. Lying at the head of the mat was another dirty white blanket rolled up into a ball. It appeared to be a makeshift pillow. On the far end of the room there was only a single window in the middle of the bare wooden wall.

"Yup!" Jazz said with a proud smile. "I live here all alone. None of the gangsters know this place is even here!"

"I see," Roy replied as he stood in the middle of the room, still looking around. _How can someone as young as her live alone in a place like this? _He wondered as he looked at the room. _It is livable I suppose, but I didn't think a child could make it on their own, not in a place like this. _

"Oh!" Jazz said a few seconds later.

Roy glanced down at her questionably.

"I'm sorry, you can put Miss Riza in my bed if you want," the girl said with a smile as she pointed to the mat.

Roy turned and glared down at the mat. At first he wasn't sure if he wanted to put Riza down on it. It looked disgusting. _Put her down, she needs to rest._ A little voice in the back of his head told him. He knew it was true so he walked towards it and laid Riza down gently.

She flinched a little as her weight was shifted here and there as Roy laid her body on the cot. It wasn't very uncomfortable, but at least she could lie flat. That was a lot better then most of the other positions she'd been in.

Jazz stood back out of the way, and watched Roy kneel next to Riza. Once Riza was flat on her back she began gasping for air. "Uh…" a concerned look flashed across Jazz's face, then it suddenly went to sorrow as her eyes traveled to the side of the room. "…mommy…" she mumbled as Riza's condition caused similar images from her past to flash before her eyes.

_Rrrrriiiipppppp….._

Jazz was brought out of her thoughts when she heard the sound of cloth tearing. She glanced back to see that Roy had removed his jacket, leaving his white button up shirt visible. The once white fabric was stained with brown, gray, and red colors from the dirt and blood that had been absorbed into it. Then he ripped the sleeve from his navy blue jacket and began wrapping the gunshot wound on his subordinate's shoulder.

_Come on…_ Roy said as some sweat traveled down his brow. He ripped some of the cloth on Riza's shoulder to get a good view of her wound. He found the bullet hole easily. He held the ripped cloth from his uniform on her wound, pushing down with as much force as he could. "Hey," he said as he glanced back at Jazz. "Can you get my knife out of my back pocket?"

"Uh… sure..." she said with a small nod as she stepped forward. "This one?" she asked as she reached her small hand into his left pocket. He glanced back at Riza.

_Hold on Lieutenant. Don't die on me now._ He said as he pushed down harder on the rag. The navy blue fabric had turned a dark purple color from consuming all the blood.

"Hey… Mister…" Jazz said as she glanced up from his pocket. "Your knife isn't in here."

Roy looked back at her. "What?"

"It's not here. You used it on Sayo, remember?"

Roy's eyes widened when he remembered the sudden attack from the gangsters. "I must have dropped it back there." He cursed and scoffed. "And our medical supplies are still outside, too."

"So what do we do now?" Jazz asked as she looked at him. Her face became questionable and somewhat sad knowing he couldn't help Riza.

"For right now stop the bleeding," he replied and began tightly wrapping the blood soaked sleeve around Riza's wound. He brought the material up over her shoulder and tucked it under her armpit, then gently lifted her upper body and pulled it beneath her and up over her shoulder again. He repeated this a few more times before he ran out of cloth and began to tie it, still applying pressure to make sure the bleeding stopped. "All we can do now is keep her as comfortable as possible and hope for the best."

_In a building far, far away… _

Just behind the stairs some noises are heard.

"Do you see them?" a familiar voice asked, "Are they coming?"

"I don't know shut up, Red! If they are out there they'll hear you!"

The two fat stinking men hid themselves from the gangsters, crouched underneath the stairs.

"Dino... I'm scared-d…" Big Red replied with a sniff as he held his knees to his chest, staring at his friend who sat Indian-style in front on him.

"They aren't here, don't worry. If they were, then we'd hear them."

Red sniffed again and wiped some snot on his sleeve. "But w-what-t if they-y are hiding?"

Dino sighed, "You're such a baby. How about I go out and show you there's nothing there? Then will you stop with the tears?"

"Uh… Uh-huh…"

"Ok then," Dino replied and turned to crawl out of the cramped space.

"Becaref-ful, Dino-o," Red said as he watched the dark-haired man stand up and look around the empty room. It was dark and gloomy as the boards on the windows blocked out the sunlight. The floor was covered in dust and there wasn't much of anything but scrap wood lying around.

"See, no one's here," he replied and looked back down at Red.

"Really?" Red asked.

"Come out and see…"

"Uh…" Red replied uncertainly, but then crawled slowly out.

"See?" Dino said again as Red grabbed his arm and slowly and cautiously stood up. "Nothing to fear, those mean old gangsters aren't over here."

"Mwu?"

"THEN WHAT WAS THAT?" Red snapped and tightened his grip on Dino.

"Mwu…?" they heard the noise again.

"DINO, WHAT IS IT?" Red asked as his brown eyes darted around, ready to break into a full gallop.

"A….sick… cow?" Dino replied as he listened to the strange sound.

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU?"

"WHY NOT?" Dino snapped, "THAT'S WHAT IT IS!"

"NUT-UH! COWS DON'T LIVE IN THE DESERT! THEY LIVE IN THE GRASS AND WE GET CHEESE FROM THEIR UTTOERS!"

_Cheese?_ Dino thought to himself. _Uttoers?_

"Mwu!" the heard the sound again.

"THERE!" Dino shouted and pointed to where the noise was coming from, "Now, I'll prove to you it's a cow!" he said as he slowly started over to the edge of the room. Little did they know a certain someone was hiding in the dark corner. They crept closer and closer until they were only a few feet away from the strange 'cow'.

Once they were only a few inches away they heard the scariest strangest thing they thought they'd ever heard in their whole lives, "MWUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!" Little Kiro gave the deepest gruffest meow she could muster.

"GAHHH!" Big Red fell back on his butt. The floor cracked under him.

"MWUUUUUUUUUOOOOOO!" Kiro gave them a second round then let her ruby red eyes flash.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" both men shrieked in terror as they saw two red orbs in the dark corner.

"IT'S A GOHST COW! RUN FOR IT!" Dino shouted as they both turned tail and ran.

"MUWRAWWWOOOOOO!" Kiro continued to roar as the two men scampered away. The force of their feet caused the floor below them to become weak.

"NO, I HATE CHESSE!" Red shouted.

"COWS DON'T MAKE CHEESE!" Dino replied.

"FINE, THEN I HATE UTTOERS!"

"WHAT THE HECK IS AN UTT-!" Dino started but couldn't finish his sentence before they hit a weak spot in the floor.

_Crassshhhhhhhhhh! _

"uttoer…..?" Dino finished after he hit the hard concrete floor.

Red moaned in reply.

"…what…?" the dark haired man moaned back.

_Back to Jazz's hideout…_

It's quiet in the small room as the soldier and the little girl sit quietly, waiting for anything that could help them.

Jazz is sitting next to the window and Roy is on the floor at Riza's side, leaning back against the wall and resting his eyes. His body wanted to sleep so badly, but his mind wouldn't allow it. He needed to be up and alert incase Riza needed something or their enemies appeared again.

Jazz glanced over at Riza every now and then, curious as to what was going through the wounded soldier's mind. Her eyes traced Riza's form. She could see the blue from Roy's jacket was now a dark color from soaking up all the blood. Roy had also ripped more material from his jacket and had Jazz get them wet with some rain water from outside the window. He was too tired and didn't really feel like doing it himself. He's limbs felt like stones as he strained himself trying to get up. After she wet them down with the cold liquid she gave them back to him. He folded one of them over a few times the laid it gently on her forehead, covering her eyes, then placed the other one across the wound on her stomach, hoping the cold damp cloth would ease some of the stinging pain.

Roy's dark eyes remained closed as he tried to regain some of the strength he lost, as well as relieve some of the burning pain that now inhabited his eyes from lack of sleep.

Jazz continued to watch Riza. She felt a little shy at the moment, being alone, well, kind of alone, with Roy. She knew him to an extent, but Riza was always there, keeping him under control and always at her side. It being just to two of them was a little strange to her. Her eyes stayed on him for a moment, and then when she saw he wasn't about to open his droopy-ringed eyes she shifted her weight, bringing her legs out from under her and placing her butt on the floor. _I wonder how Miss Riza is? She hasn't moved in a long time._ She thought to herself as her eyes returned to Riza. She was about to crawl over to the wounded soldier when the shifting of her weight caused the floor under her to creak.

"Hm?" Roy glanced over at her when he heard the cracking noise.

"UH!" Jazz snapped when she saw his movement. She quickly pulled her legs to her chest, hugging them tightly, and quickly redirected her eyes out the window, pretending she wasn't watching them.

The Lieutenant Colonel sat motionless as he stared over at her. His face was calm but also very worn. The cut on his cheek had clotted and stropped bleeding, leaving nothing but a dark horizontal line on his flesh.

_I hope he didn't see me. He seems to be very protective of Miss Riza._ Jazz said to herself as her eyes became sad and a worried expression appeared on her face, though Roy couldn't see it due to the fact the lower half of her face was buried in her knees. He did however catch the sorrow and desperation in her brown eyes.

Without even realizing it, his eyes went over her body, stopping for a moment on the circle marks that now covered her throat from when Jackal dug his nails into her flesh. Then his eyes went back to hers again. She wouldn't make any eye contact with him, and pretended she didn't know he was watching her.

_Please don't be mad at me…_ She cried to herself as she watched the sky outside. It was now clear and sunny. All the clouds and rain had gone, though there were no birds outside. She only saw them in the city. _There's no food for them here._

Roy gave a small sigh when he saw her become even more depressed. He was now becoming sad himself. Then his eyes went to the floor in front of him, wondering about why she wouldn't talk, not even glance over at him.

_Did he go back to sleep?_ The small girl wondered after a few minutes of silence. She was about to turn back to him when his calm yet saddened voice broke the dead quiet.

"Does it hurt?" he asked not even looking at her.

"Uh?" Her eyes widened at this unexpected question. Her face quickly turned to him. Seeing his calm face gave her some relief and she smiled a small sad smile as she placed her chin back in her knees. "Only for a little while. It only hurts for a little while, and then it goes away."

As her brown eyes traveled back over to him she saw how exhausted he really was. His hands sat in his lap, shaking unsteadily from weakness and not eating. He seemed to not even notice it. Then there were the injuries on his left arm and hand. He had taken some extra material from his jacket and wrapped them tightly, but the bleeding still hadn't completely stopped. It was just a trickle, but it stole more strength then he realized. "Mister…?"She began as her eyes stayed focused on his quivering hands, "Are you al-" she was about to ask when he cut her off.

"It's Roy…"

"Hm?" she blinked questionably.

"My name…" he began, "It's not master, mister, sir, whatever other names who've made up for me. It's just Roy."

Jazz became calm once more as her face turned back to the window and the world that lay outside. She thought about this for a moment, "Roy… that's a nice name…"

The military dog's dark eyes went to Riza for a moment as he listened to the girl speak.

"…But I liked daddy better…"

His gaze went back to her. Once again his attention was taken by the bruises incased on her skin, "Does your father do that often?"

"Do what?" the small child asked and looked up to find him staring at her neck, "Oh… yeah, he does."

Roy watched as she looked out the window again. He could see slight hints of her reflection on the old glass.

"But it's ok," she replied quietly, "It makes him happy, and it only hurts for a little while anyway."

"What do you mean?" Roy asked. His voice held a hint of curiosity, but exhaustion hid it well.

The little girl sat for a moment, trying to put her thoughts into words, "It hurts… but that's ok… because he's happy. In my whole life that's the only time I ever see him smile."

Suddenly Roy was overcome with a burst of anger and adrenaline, "But that doesn't make it ok!"

"I know," she replied, "but sometimes you have to do things you don't like for other people to be happy," she said as she looked over at Roy. "You're the same way with Miss Riza."

His eyes widened at that statement. "It's not the same at all! I don't abuse her!"

"But you fight a lot."

"It's not that same at all!" he snapped, "and how do you even know that?"

Jazz didn't reply. She just stared out the window, "My daddy's dead... isn't he?"

Seeing the expression on her face made Roy calm down. He didn't answer and returned his gaze to the wooden planks that made up the floor.

His silence gave her the answer, clear as day. "My mommy is dead, too. They had a fight… a long time ago. I don't know why and it was really scary. They yelled lots. I ran and hid while Daddy hit Mommy over and over. She cried lots. Then I heard it, that loud sound, the same one that comes from Miss Riza's silver tube."

_She means the pistol…_ Roy thought to himself.

"Then it got really quiet. Soon Daddy was gone. I found Mommy on the floor. She was sleeping and she wouldn't get up. I shook her and cried loudly, but she never moved. I didn't know why, mommies always come when they hear their babies cry, even in the dark. So why wouldn't she? I sat with her for a long time. Then my daddy came back. He was really mad. He pushed and hit me lots, and then he threw me against the wall. The next thing I knew I opened my eyes and Mommy wasn't there. I thought she had woken up, and then I heard Daddy yelling outside some more. I went to the window and saw him burning leaves in the backyard."

Roy's eyes remained on the ground. His wounded hand ached and bled heavier as his fists continued to clench with rage.

"Roy…?" Jazz asked as she turned to look at him, "After someone dies and goes to sleep. How long does it take for them to wake up?"

Roy didn't answer her this time either. He scoffed as his fists clenched even tighter. After he thought about this for a few minutes he asked a simple question. "I can take you back to the city. Have you even been in a foster home before?"

"Yes, I was taken to lots of them. I was never there very long. Daddy would always find someway to get me back. Once he even said he'd kill the judge's wife if he didn't give me back."

"Would you like to be in one again?" Roy asked.

"I dunno…"

"Have you been in the bad ones?" he asked, knowing all too well about all the corrupt agencies out there. _They claim they take care of them, but they only use them as slaves._

"Yes, I have. I liked them better."

Roy looked at her with surprise, "Why?"

"Because no one gets sad once I have to leave again. It's not hard to leave a bad place like that. When I was in the nice ones, the mommy and daddy there liked me lots. Then once I had to leave, they cried lots. I cried, too, and I missed them a real lot."

"Oh, I see..." Roy replied figuring that was a pretty good reason.

Jazz's eyes became somewhat sad again, "Roy, am I wrong?"

Suddenly his rage melted away and he looked back to her, "Wrong about what?"

"Everyone who knows about me gets angry like you. Am I doing something bad?" her eyes became glazed over with tears as the thought of everyone being mad at her rushed though her mind. "If I did I'm sorry, and I didn't mean, too. I just thought he needed it."

"Needed what?" Roy asked.

"To be happy. Even if it was just for a minute, I wanted him to smile. I knew it would hurt if he hit me, but he needs to smile too, right? Everyone needs to be happy and laugh sometimes. Mom used to tell me, 'people who are mean were usually treated badly by others themselves, and instead of hating them you should pray for them'. Since Daddy was really mean, I thought he just needed it more then most. I used to wonder how mean they were to him. They had to be really, really mean, even meaner then Reina and Kenny to make someone like that. It made me feel really bad for him. I remember I used to feel sad when I thought about it. That got me though it all. Whenever I felt like crying or giving up, I just think about how mean he is, and I know he feels a lot worse then me. So I take it, so he can be happy, even if it is just for a minute. So… am I wrong?"

Roy's trademark smirk returned to his weary face and he let out a bit of a chuckle. _The mind of a child is strange indeed. If only adults could see things the same way they do, maybe there wouldn't be so many wars._ _But then again… I'd be out of the job, and I'd never fulfill my dream. To become Fuehrer... and make all female personnel… WEAR TINY MINI-SKIRTS!_ He shouted to himself as he took his classic manly pose.

"Umm… Roy?" Jazz asked as a sweat drop appeared on the back of her head.

_Thump, thump, creeaaaakkkkkk…._

They heard pounding and rustling noises coming from down below.

"What is that?" Jazz asked in a slight panic.

"I thought you said they wouldn't find us here!" Roy snapped back.

"They shouldn't! They shouldn't!" she replied and tried to hide.

Roy growled as he looked to the door and grabbed Riza's pistol.

The pounding was heard coming up the stairs and down the hall toward them.

The grip Roy had on the gun tightened as a bead of sweat traveled down his brow. He cursed to himself as he thought about another battle. Just them a certain someone broke all the tension in the area.

"OWW! KENNY, DON'T PUSH!"

"Hm?" Roy's and Jazz's faces both became confused as they stared at the closed door.

Before they knew it the door burst open and Reina rushed in, "WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YOU!" her voice chimed as a proud look appeared on her face and she took a 'dramatic' pose. Her pose consisted of a hand raised in the air and a foot held up in mid-air. Little heads were seen popping in though the door fame around her. "Hm?" her face suddenly became annoyed as her foot twitched and touched nothing but air. She looked down, "BLARE! YOU DIDN'T DO IT IN TIME!" she snapped into the hallway.

"Oh, sorry!" the small boy replied and hurried in. He quickly dropped a familiar brown suitcase at her feet.

"Now…" Reina said as she looked at the case. "As I was saying…" she began as she put on foot on the bag and raised one arm in the air, "WE ARE HERE TO SAVE YOU!"

"Ugh…" Jazz and Roy said in unison as they fell to the floor, anime style.

AN: Hi guys! Hope you liked it! Sorry I cut it off there, kind of weird I know, but if I didn't this chapter would have been REALLY long. I just have on question for you. Who do you prefer, Reina or Jazz? Just asking for future plans. If you'd answer I'd really appreciate it!


	41. Red Spots Give You Wings!

AN: Thanks for all the reviews!

For those of you who didn't get the Dino and Red thing. It was pretty much just to give you a breather from Roy and Jazz, and a few people wanted to know what happened to then fat men. So it answered that too kind of… in a way... yeah… anyways!

charriXD and Flava Sava: Yes, I know there were grammar errors… I just didn't know there were that many. Sweat drops. I went back and reread it again, and was dying thinking, "Omg, I can't believe I posted it like this!" So I took care of those, the ones I found anyway. CharriXD, you're only 11? Dies. You don't know how stupid I feel right now . You know a lot more then me and I'm almost 7 years older then you! I turn 18 in January. Dances. Maybe I shouldn't have said that… Fans hold me down and tattoo, 'dumb blonde with no writing skills' to my forehead.

MistressofHeaven: It ok, this will be wrapping up sometime soon. The gangsters I'm not sure yet. The office is done, and you'll see what happens to the orphans whenever anything happens! But if you're wondering if this is a never-ending story, IT'S NOT! And will be wrapping up within the next few chapters.

Cookies and cup cakes! Dives. I'm gonna be on a sugar rush! WEEEEEEE!

Thanks to all of you who answered my question! Seems Jazz is the most popular among fans. Don't worry to you Reina fans. I'm not taking her out of the story or anything! It was just something I wanted to know for future reasons!

And for all of you who are tired of the sappy corny crap I've been writing lately… THIS IS A HUMOUROUS CHAPTER! Well… sort of… some of it anyway… Just waits for everyone to stand up and cheer.

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 41: Red Spots Give You Wings!

The grip Roy had on the gun tightened as a bead of sweat traveled down his brow. He cursed to himself as he thought about another battle. Just them a certain someone broke all the tension in the area.

"OWW! KENNY, DON'T PUSH!"

"Hm?" Roy's and Jazz's faces both became confused as they stared at the closed door.

Before then knew it the door burst open and Reina rushed in, "WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YOU!" Reina's voice chimed as a proud look appeared on her face and she took a 'dramatic' pose. Her pose consisted of a hand raised in the air and a foot held up in mid-air. Little heads were seen popping in the door frame around her. "Hm?" her face suddenly became annoyed as her foot twitched and touched nothing but air. She looked down, "BLARE! YOU DIDN'T DO IT IN TIME!" she snapped into the hallway.

"Oh, sorry!" the small boy replied and hurried in. He quickly dropped a familiar brown suitcase at her feet.

"Now…" Reina said as she looked at the case. "As I was saying…" she began as she put on foot on the bag and raised one arm in the air, "WE ARE HERE TO SAVE YOU!"

"Ugh…" Jazz and Roy said in unison as they fell to the floor, anime style.

"What?" the pig tailed girl asked as she watched Jazz's foot twitch.

"DON'T DO THAT!" Jazz snapped. "You scared us spit-less!"

"Spit-less?" Kenny asked somewhat confused. "Here, I have plenty," he said and began hacking, and then he leaned over slightly and stared at the floor. Before anyone could say anything a long line of spit was dangling from his lips, almost touching the ground.

Roy stood watching them; a disgusted look appeared on his face. _Oh please… when I was his age it was only a centimeter from the floor._ Then he smirked as happier days flashed through his mind. _I beat that crazy Hughes every time, too. _

"That's disgusting…" Reina said as she watched Kenny perform his act.

"I practice a lot," Kenny replied. His voice was muffled as he tried not to let the mucous touch the floor.

"Kenny!" Jazz snapped, "Put it away! What would Miss Riza say if she saw that?"

Then the cinnamon-haired boy sucked the line of spit back up into his mouth and swallowed. "She'd probably think I was better then the common man," he replied with a laugh.

"Right…" both girls said in unison, annoyed expression on their faces. _Boys…_

Roy's eyes went back to the kids after he left his childhood memories. His eyes narrowed on the suitcase that sat under Reina's foot. An annoyed look appeared on his face. _Never send a crazy fan girl and her loyal followers to do a man's job._ He made a mental note to himself.

"Something wrong?" Reina asked as a confused expression appeared on her face. Jazz looked back to him as well.

"You got the wrong bag…" he mumbled.

"Uh…" Reina glanced down at the case, still in her dramatic pose.

"Way to go…" Kenny said with an annoyed look as he took sides with Roy. This was yet another plan used to get under Reina's skin. He loved alienating her until she became red in the face and wailing like a lunatic.

"Shut up!" Reina snapped back, "You're such an a-!" Reina's comeback was cut off from the gasping cough coming from the side of the room.

"MISS RIZA!" Blare shouted as they saw Riza sitting up, coughing loudly and gasping for air.

"She's sounds like a dog…" Tommy said as they listened to the deep gruff coughs.

"TOMMY!" Reina snapped and glared back at him.

"Sorry…" the bigger brother replied and a sorrowful expression appeared on his face.

"HAWKEYE!" Roy shouted. He was the first one at her side. He forgot about her wound and grabbed her shoulders and started yelling at her, but she didn't even seem to notice him.

"Miss Riza!" Jazz cried and ran to her, sitting on her knees next to the two military dogs. Her tearful brown eyes desperately stared into hers. She was shocked to sees Riza's once calm strong eyes bloodshot and wide with panic.

"LIEUTENANT HAWKEYE, CALM DOWN!" Roy ordered as he tried to push her back on her back, but Riza wouldn't allow him too. Lying on her back made it even harder for her to breathe.

Jazz's eyes widened when they went from Riza's face to her shoulder. "Roy, she's bleeding really lots…" the small girl said as she saw blood gushing from the wound and absorbing into her makeshift bandage and Military jacket. She watched as it traveled down her side and came to rest on her dirty bed.

_Damn!_ Roy cursed as he saw all the blood. _She must have ripped her wounds open when she sat up and began panicking. _"Hawkeye this is very important! You have to listen to me! You're bleeding very badly! You have to lie down and relax so I can get the bleeding to stop!" he shouted, but none of it seemed to get though to her. A gurgling noise as well as desperate squeaky noises escaped her lips along with the raspy violent coughs.

Riza continued coughing and gasping. Her good arm was raised and her hand was clasped around her throat, trying to see if she had any wounds as to why she couldn't get a breath of clean air. She wasn't aware of her surroundings at all. She felt a great force pushing on her, making the pain in her shoulder unbearable, and it made her panic even more. Causing her to think she was under some type of attack.

"Miss Riza... please, do what he says... please…" Jazz cried as tears became streaming down her cheeks. "Please, do it... please… You'll die if you don't… you'll bleed to death…" she squeaked.

"Miss Riza!" Reina shouted as she and the boys watched from the doorframe, unsure if they should come in and help or stay put.

"RIZA HAWKEYE, FOLLOW ORDERS NOW! THIS IS YOUR SUPERIEROR OFFICER TALKING TO YOU!" Roy barked hoping this would cause her to do as told. He knew how loyal to the Military she was, maybe it would work.

"Miss Riza…" Kenny said as he watched with desperation. Nothing they did was working, and they could see Riza's face begin to get pale and her eyes lose some of their color as she began to go into shock from blood loss.

"What's wrong with her? Why won't she answer?" Jazz yelled as she looked up at Roy. A sad and confused expression on her face.

"The stress and her wounds are causing her to go into shock. She can breathe fine, but in the state of mind she's in she doesn't realize that and is panicking because of it. The rush of adrenaline she has now, combined with the fast pace of her heart is making her blood flow faster and increasing the amount of blood loss. We need to get her down and relaxed, it will decrease blood flow and allow us to treat her wounds."

"Then why won't she do that?" Jazz cried again.

"Because she doesn't know, stupid!" Kenny snapped. The stress of this whole situation was making him panic and irritable.

_This isn't working. She's not coming back to us. She'll die before this slows down._ Roy calculated in his mind. "RENIA, RIGHT NOW! RUN BACK TO WHERE YOU FOUND THAT SUITCASE AND BRING BACK THE BIGGEST HEAVIEST ONE!" he ordered as he continued to try and force Riza down. There was a war going on in his mind at the moment. The more he pushed the more she fought. He was borderline between letting her go and hope she doesn't do anything too dramatic or to keep pushing in hopes she'd give under his weight.

"Uh… RIGHT!" Reina snapped, "Come on, guys. Let's hurry!"

The three boys nodded and they all took off down the hallways. Roy and Jazz could hear the loud sounds coming from their pounding feet. The sudden crack made Riza even tenser.

"Miss Riza, please lie down!" Jazz said as she crawled behind Riza's body and onto the uninhabited section of the bed. She laid down on it and looked back up at Riza. All she could see was Riza's back and golden hair. More tears slid down her face when she saw the fabric on Riza's back was also consuming a great deal of the blood. "Please lie down. It's not bad or anything." She said as she rolled around a little bit, "See, it's really soft and nice…"

Roy's wounded arm shook weakly as sharp bolts of pain shot through the wounded limb. He scoffed when he realized how weak he was. _What a joke... I can't even take care of my own suburbanite. What kind of leader am I? _His eyes went back to her wound. He could see it was still bleeding. _We have to at least tray and get it to stop._ He thought to himself as his eyes darted around the room. Then he looked over to the doorframe and saw the brown suitcase lying on the floor. "Jazz! Go get that case and bring it here. Open it and look though it for anything that can help us!"

Jazz stopped her sobbing for a moment and looked over to the brown bag. She quickly got up and ran over to it. She grabbed the handle and dragged it beside Roy. She unzipped it and began tossing out its components. "It's nothing but clothes!" She said and looked up at Roy.

_Figures…_ He cursed. "Keep looking!"

The small girl turned back to the case and began digging deeper. She threw out shirts and pants of many different colors.

Roy glanced at the laundry on the floor. _You think she brought enough pants?_ He said to himself as he watched the pile get larger.

"Uh?" Jazz said curiously as she pulled out a little black bag. _What's this?_ She wondered and opened the small bag. Inside she pulled out a toothbrush and hair brush. "What's this?" she asked as she pulled out a small square package.

"Open it!" Roy barked.

Jazz pulled on the wrapped and reviled a white, cotton like object. She unfolded it and found it was kind of long. It was soft on the top and made out of the same material as the wrapper on the bottom. _What is this thing?_ She asked herself again. All her attention was taken off Riza. Also on the bottom was a piece of paper. She pulled off the paper and found a strip that was sticky. "Roy, what is this?"

Roy looked over at her and saw what she held in her hands. His eyes widened as he looked back at Riza, trying to hide his embarrassed and surprised expression.

"Roy?" Jazz asked again. She began playing with the sticky-ness on the strange thing.

_Why in the world did she bring that? I've seen those in health department of the stores before._ He wondered as he stared at Riza. Then he understood. _So that's why she was so moody… She could have at least said something. I was really worried. _He grumbled to himself. But all his embarrassed and negative feelings quickly faded when he saw Riza's wound and all the blood again. He was about to say keep looking when something Jazz said before ran though his mind._ 'Sometimes you need to do things that you don't like to make other people happy.' I did say use anything I could find... and she really needs it now. She needs this I can't let her down. _"Just bring it here!" he shouted.

Jazz quickly came to him and held up the pad. Roy took it and turned it so the soft cotton-like side of the pad was facing Riza's body. Then he placed it over the wound and watched as it absorbed all the blood into its inner lining. _This thing is blowing up like a balloon. No wonder they are moody. I would be too if I had something like that between my legs…_ "Give me another one," he ordered when the first one began to leak.

"Ok," she replied and opened a second package.

"Are there a bunch in there?" he asked.

"Umm... yeah I think," Jazz replied as she eyeballed the inside of the bag.

"Get them ready," he said as he pushed on Riza's wound. His arm ached and he was exhausted. She continued to fight, but the sound of her gurgling and fearful squeaks gave him the strength and determination to keep going. She saved him before, without even being asked and going against his orders. He'd be dammed if he didn't do the same for her. "Another," he said as he released the small object. "Wha?" he looked and became annoyed when he saw it was sticking to his glove. _I don't have time for this._ He growled and shook his hand violently, trying to shake the thing off.

"Hmm…" Jazz thought as this gave her an idea.

After Roy had shaken it off, he took another. He could tell Riza was losing this battle when she didn't resist as much, but she was still strong enough to hold her ground and not be forced on her back. Her head drooped and her hands quivered, but she didn't give up. "Come on, just trust me…" he whispered as he looked into her eyes.

"Hey, look at this!" Jazz said proudly.

Roy glanced over at her and a dumbfounded look appeared on his face.

"I think I found out what the sticky side is for!" she said as she smiled and pointed to the wall. On it the white pads stood out vividly against the dark wood. "I even made them into the shape of a happy face to make Miss Riza feel better!"

_Oh God… _Roy said to himself._ Is this a punishment for something? Am I being cursed?_ He began to wonder. Suddenly without warning Riza's eyes widened even wider and she collapsed and fell forward. "HAWKEYE!" Roy saw this and quickly grabbed her and let her rest on his chest. He snarled when he felt all the strength leave her body and her breathing become shallow. He could hear her still gasping, but it was so soft and muffled from leaning on his chest they could barley make it out. _Reina, you better hurry._ He cursed and laid Riza's now limp body back on the cot.


	42. The Evil Heart of a Loner

AN: To everyone who pointed out there were typos in the last chapter. Aren't there always? Lol. Yeah, just so you know, I know these chapters aren't perfect and I'm not going to say they are. I do go back and fix them, but I still don't get _everything_. It's one of those times when you look past the bad and focus on the good, like the actual story for example. Lol, anyways, on to replies so we can get the chapter started! But first…

504 reviews! w00t! Thanks so much! Sweat drops. Looks around. I don't see any old reviewers, not very many anyway. Old reviewers, where'd you go? Did you forget about me? Tears. Oh well. I have all you new people, right? Huggles new reviewers.

Blonde-Existentialist: What's Riza doing with pads? Hmm… I'd have to agree with you that she'd probably wear tampons. It seems more appropriate in her line of work. But you have to remember it's like the year 1910, even before that since this is set before the anime. I doubt they had tampons then. I don't think they even had pads XD. Wouldn't that just suck? Anyway… yeah… I killed the accuracy enough with the pads alone. I don't want to push things_ that_ much and have Riza use tampons. Reina has brown hair, not blonde. Maybe her genes got mangled and she has the mind of a blonde but the hair of a brunette, ya think? XD

charriXD: Yes, I know you wrote a long complement... er… review… whatever… last time, and I thank you ever so much for it!

Thanks for much to Jass! I couldn't write this without you! You too, RW Grimm and Flava Sava! And yes… as promised... I dedicate these Royai.. er… sort of Royai? Whatever you want to call them moments... to gundams forever... just because she wanted it that way XD.

Also… there are some somewhat disturbing 'things' in this chapter. I know everyone in here will know what I mean when it you get to it. Now, this is a 'T' rated fic so it's nothing too horrible, but I have friends who have had this happen to them in the past. So I know it doesn't take much to set them off into 'depression mode'. I just wanted you to know it was there incase you are one of those people, and if you want to skip it you may. If you want to know when it's safe to read again start reading when you see Jazz screaming in all CAPITAL letters. Just wanted to warn you incase you have issues with this sort of thing. But like I said… I didn't make it traumatizing or anything, but if you feel the rating needs to be changed just because of what going on, then tell me in a review. I don't want this fic to be deleted again for something that can be so easily changed.

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 42: The Evil Heart of a Loner (Sorry, couldn't think of anything else to call it!)

"MISS RIZA!" Jazz cried when she saw Riza collapse. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?" she asked and quickly knelt beside the Lieutenant. Her brown scared eyes stared into Riza's pale face. She watched as her friend's face lost more and more color and her breathing became raspier and weaker.

"Her body can't take all this stress," Roy replied as he searched her bag. He had regained control of himself and was now calm, yet still very serious, "She's lost a lot of blood and has grown weak from it, that's all really."

"That's all!" Jazz asked as she turned to Roy. She was sobbing uncontrollably but the expression on her face held much anger. "You talk like there is nothing bad happening to her! She could be dying and you don't care at all!"

His face gained a hint of sadness after Jazz made her remark. Deep down it hurt, but he kept his mind clear and shook it off quickly. _She is a child after all. She doesn't understand anything…_ He told himself as he looked through Riza's bag. They had run out of pads so he was going to have to wrap the wound again, and try to stop the bleeding the old fashion way. He could hear Jazz crying behind him. "You have to be calm if you want to help her."

"What?" Jazz asked as she looked up at him.

"Think about it. We're not in the greatest place right now, and Hawkeye's number one priority is to protect us. If she hears us screaming and crying, don't you think that will make her sad or even stressed?" he replied, trying his best to word his reasoning in the way a child could understand. "Just because she's not looking at us doesn't mean she can't hear us."

Jazz looked back at Riza again. She guessed what Roy said made sense. Her eyes traced Riza's form and she placed her small hand on the cloth that sat atop the Lieutenant's forehead.

"Why don't you wet it down again?"

The little girl looked up questionably to see Roy standing behind her with some of Riza's garments in his arms. "Ok," she replied having found the cloth had lost most of its moisture.

She took the cloth and walked back to the window. Roy then knelt next to his subordinate and began ripping her clothes into strips. _I hope she doesn't get angry with me._ He thought with a smirk as he continued mutilating her belongings.

The sound of cloth ripping and gruff sliding noises were all that was heard as Roy continued his work and Jazz tried to force open the old window.

"Er… come on you… stupid thing…" the girl growled to herself as she repeatedly yanked at the wooden frame around the glass. Then all her hard work paid off as the glass began to creak and slide. It kept getting caught so she continued to fight with it until her hand could fit through the small opening.

She put the cloth on a piece of wood just below the window sill. It was a flower box at one time, but after the town went though its downfall it went uncared for. Resulting in the death of all the flowers and leaving nothing but an ugly, leaky wooden frame. Even weeds couldn't hold their life in such a retched sandy place.

"Uh…" Jazz stared into the box, and then looked back at Roy. She saw he had just begun wrapping Riza's wounds. At his side sat a colorful assortment of tattered shirts. "All the water leaked outta the hole. There's hardly and water left in here."

"Is there enough to wet the cloth?" he asked not even glancing up from his current task. His face was very calm, as it usually was, like this was nothing out of the ordinary.

"I don't think so," she replied as she touched the cloth. It was only damp in various places. She doubted it would be enough to help Riza.

"Do you know of any other place?" he asked.

"Ummm…" Jazz replied putting her hand to her chin. "Yeah! Two rooms away is another box!"

"Can you go wet it, please? I can if you wan-" he was cut off by the girl's chiming voice.

"No! No! NO! You're bleeding and tried! Plus you have to help Miss Riza! Don't move, sit there and I'll get it! Yes, I will! Yes, I will!" she ran out of the room and down the hall.

Roy blinked in confusion. _What was that about?_ He wondered. A small smile appeared on his face as he looked back at Riza. This was the first time in a while that he saw the normal Jazz. She'd been so down these past few hours, since everything happened with Sayo. He was beginning to worry about her mental state.

His calm face returned as he pulled on Riza's bandages. Her heavy breathing caught his attention. He stared at her face. His dark eyes traced her features and oddly enough paused on her lips. He watched as they opened and closed, trying to take a breath.

Seeing this caused his mind to flash back to when they first arrived here. When he saved Riza from his flame and they were about to kiss when rudely interrupted.

Before Roy knew it his mind cleared and he found himself back in the present and lip locked with the person he was supposed to be saving. He could feel Riza's attempts to catch a breath. Her efforts became stronger and more frantic as her body squirmed under him. Her muscles tensed and she flinched. The terrifying feeling of suffocation came over her. Unknowing as to why breathing was so much more difficult all the sudden caused her muscles to tense even more, resulting in an aching pain all over her weak body. She tried to jerk away, but Roy still held her still. He didn't want her ripping her wounds open again. Riza continued to fight and a few noises escaped her throat when she found herself trapped on all sides.

Roy had no idea why, but he couldn't come to releasing her. His mind urged him to let go. He told himself she was injured and this was making her condition worse, but his body wouldn't pull away despite his mind's orders.

Roy's body finally won over his mind and he leaned in farther. His eyes closed and his body relaxed as he remained on top of Riza. His entire being was overcome with a strange feeling he'd never felt before. It was a type of inner peace. He was about to deepen his kiss when suddenly…

"What are you doing?"

His eyes widened and he shot back, releasing Riza and turning quickly to the door. There he saw Jazz with the cloth in one hand and a confused expression on her face. He immediately regained control of himself and calmed his face. "Nothing."

Jazz's expression went back to normal as well as she walked toward Riza and knelt beside her. "You shouldn't make out with someone who's not wanting too, you know? My mommy told me that was very bad manners, yes it is."

"I wasn't kissing her," Roy replied casually, knowing if he spoke loudly she'd know he was lying. "She wasn't breathing well. I was simply giving her mouth-to-mouth. It helps her to breathe."

"Really?" the small girl asked curiously as she glanced back up at Roy. She had placed the cloth back on Riza's forehead. "How does sticking your tongue in the other person's mouth help them breathe?"

_Did I really go that far?_ He wondered to himself. The passed few seconds seemed like a blur to him. His eyes went to Riza's face, allowing him to see how tense and uncomfortable she was. Her breathing was also different now. It was much more hectic as she began to recover from the sudden shock of Roy's passion. His face remained calm, but on the inside he was kicking himself and he really felt bad and ashamed for what he had done to her. _I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I was a little out of line there. _

"Well, how?" Jazz asked a little louder and more impatient.

"Uh!" Roy's eyes widened again and he covered it with a cough. "She's getting worse. My mouth-to-mouth wasn't successful. Did Reina come back yet?"

"Nope," Jazz replied shaking her head. "I think she got lost or maybe she saw another worm."

"Well we don't have time to just sit around here. Hawkeye needs the medical help now. I'll go find them and bring them back," he replied and started to get up. He was a little shaky on his feet and the feeling of fatigue set in almost immediately upon standing, but he didn't let it stop him.

"WAIT!" Jazz shouted, "You're hurt, too!"

"I'll be alright, it's not far and the rest gave me back enough of my strength to make it," he replied casually and pulled Riza's gun from his waist. It was nestled tightly in the back of his waistband in case he needed protection.

The sudden click of the chamber opening was heard as the Lieutenant Colonel checked his ammo.

Jazz looked up at Roy again and saw him eyeing the bullets sitting in the chamber. Tears began pouring down her cheeks as shock and sorrow took over her body and she lunged forward.

"Uh?" Roy glanced down suddenly when he felt a great pressure on his leg. He came to find the small girl clinging to his leg, sobbing. "Are you alright?"

"Don't d-do it…" she cried not looking up at him. Her tears began soaking into the blue fabric of his pants.

Roy stared down at her questionably, unsure of what to do.

"You have that silver t-tube... don't point it at anyone… p-please…." she sobbed as images of her father passed through her mind. "My d-daddy pointed his tube at t-them… and they all died-d… I don't want y-you to be like him… p-please…" she continued to sob, "Please, R-Roy… I don't want you to be like him…"

Roy's expression became somewhat sad as a small smile appeared on his face. He slowly knelt down so he was eyelevel with her. He then cupped her chin with his hand and titled her face upwards, so she was looking him in the eyes, "Don't worry, I'd never be like him," he replied with a smirk. Then he released her from his grasp and stood up.

Jazz couldn't think of anything to say. She sat, still as a statue. More tears traveled down her face as Roy's form disappeared into the hallway. She stayed this way until she couldn't hear his footsteps anymore. Then she rushed over to the window and stared down into the street. She saw him walking away on unsteady legs. She saw him falter in the thick sand, resulting in him falling to his knees. She wanted to run down and help him, but didn't want to leave Riza's side. After Roy picked himself back up and disappeared behind a nearby building she sat back down on the floor. The small girl stared at the soldier lying at the other end of the room. When she saw Riza didn't need anything at the moment she pulled her knees to her chest and embraced them. Her face went down and rested on her knees and she cried silently to herself, afraid of what Roy might do if he did shoot Riza's gun.

It wasn't even five minutes after Roy left that a rustling downstairs was heard.

"Uh!" the girl's eyes widened and she sprung up with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. "ROY!" she chimed and raced to the doorframe.

She stopped quickly in her tracks when the rustling noise downstairs turned into a pounding force headed up the stairs. Jazz froze in fear as her eyes grew even wider. The smile on her face disappeared as the sound got closer and closer.

In a flash there was a man standing in the doorway. He was about the same height as she was. A grin appeared on his pale face and his eyes narrowed on her. "I told you I heard a girl yelling in here, boss."

Another head popped in behind the first man. "Yeah, well lookie here. We caught ourselves a little brat," he said as they entered.

_Loners…_ Jazz thought to herself. In many ways these men were worse then the gangsters. They had neither morals nor feelings for the well being of others. People such as these were often thrown out of the gangs because they couldn't follow the rules of the pack.

Jazz couldn't say anything. Her eyes remained on their faces. She stared into their eyes. All that remained in her range of sight were evil shades of blue and gray as they raced towards her.

Before she could react the shorter of the two men raced around her small form and grabbed her from behind. He cupped her mouth with his hand as his grey eyes peered into her brown ones. She couldn't help but go over his features. He was very snake-like in appearance. His eyes held very little life and his skin was pale and cold. "Now be a good girl and don't scream," he hissed.

The other man walked around the room. Jazz watched his muscular build prowl around like a bear. He's messy brown hair flung unbrushed and uncleaned as his blue eyes surveyed the area. "There be a sleepin' woman here, too," he said with a devilish grin as he stared down at Riza.

Jazz became frantic and tried to scream for Roy when she saw the man's bear-like hand caress Riza's cheek.

The second man jabbed her in the back with his elbow, "I told you to keep quiet," he snarled.

"She's a good lookin' woman," the man smirked as he pushed Riza's bangs from her face. He pushed the cloth off her warm skin and threw it to the side. "You know what they say about sleepin' women, don't cha?" he asked as he looked back at Jazz. She was stunned by the sadistic spark in his eyes. "They say when they is asleep they dunno what cha is doing to 'em."

The man holding Jazz began laughing historically, "That's a good one, boss. You always know about everything."

"That I do, Genki," he replied as he looked back as Riza. Another grin flashed over his face as he thought about what he was going to do with her. "And since she is asleepin'. I think I'll have a lil' fun wit' her. Hold that brat."

"Yes, boss," the little man known as Genki replied and did as told.

Tears began sliding down Jazz's face as she watched the big man kneel next to Riza.

"Now then, I am a gentleman at heart. I don't feel it right to handle a lady before introducin' yourself. The name's Booker." The big man said. He then began going over her body with his eyes. Genki licked his lips as he stared at Riza's body. The small girl's body began tensing as she watched the man grab Riza's wrists and force them above her hand. The Lieutenant flinched in pain, but her eyes didn't even stir. She was clearly not able to fend for herself.

More tears poured down Jazz's face as he grabbed Riza's shirt and began ripping it off. The girl and servant on the other end of the room couldn't see much of what was happening, for the man's large body blocked out most of their sight range. A great pain appeared in Riza's shoulder as he yanked on the fabric. Her body began sub-concisely tensing and pushing away from the man.

This dissatisfied him greatly and he stood up, still peering down at her. He placed his boot above Riza's wounded shoulder and pushed down hard on it. "No one goes against me!" he snarled and stomped down on the wound. Once he saw her body became much tenser he quickly cupped her mouth, thinking she may scream. He's hand was covered in her blood which seeped onto her face and sat around her mouth.

Booker smiled when he saw she didn't have the strength to scream and went back to her military jacket. Under the jacket he could see the brown fabric of her t-shirt. Her shape was also visible and he smiled at what she possessed. He uncapped her mouth and brought his hand to her chest.

Jazz watched Riza begin to struggle again and could only imagine what was happening to her. _No…_ raced through her mind over and over as she watched the man assault the wounded solider. _You can't! No! That's wrong you can't do that!_ She screamed out in her mind as she became frantic and struggled against Genki.

"Be still, child," he said as he tried to hold her still. She wouldn't hear any of it as she tried to free herself from him.

She continued to fight and scream, though it was all in vein as her cries were muffled by Genki's long bony fingers. Her heart wept as she watched Booker continue his assault on Riza. She did know what to do, if anything at all. Just as soon as she was about to give in her eyes widened as Riza tried to scream out, but wasn't able. Suddenly her small body was overcome with rage and adrenaline as Riza's voice echoed in her ears. With this new emotion she lunged forward.

"Hey!" Genki snapped as Jazz almost launched herself out of his arms. "Get back here!" he hissed, but couldn't keep his hold over her face.

"STOP IT!" her screams cut though the air. "DON'T, YOU CAN'T DO THAT! STOP IT! DON'T!" she cried as she fought with Genki. "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! SHE'S BLEEDING BADLY! SHE'S HURT YOU'LL KILL HER! YOU HAVE TO STOP! STOP!" she screamed over and over.

"SHUT HER UP!" Booker roared as he glanced back at them.

"NO! STOP!" Jazz continued yelling.

"I can't, boss!" Genki replied as he tried to keep his old on the thrashing girl.

"You's good for nothin'!" the bear-like man snarled and stood up from Riza.

Jazz froze when she saw Riza. She was gasping for air and covered in blood. Great pain was displayed on her face. Her military jacket lay in shreds around her body. Her eyes widened when she saw the bandages Roy had made for her had been ripped off as well.

Booker then smirked when he saw Jazz's sudden silence. "That' more like it," he grinned and went back to Riza.

"NO! DON'T TOUCH HER!" Jazz snapped again when she saw the man was going to begin again.

Booker scoffed at the girl and got up again. He walked toward her.

Jazz saw the terrifying look on his face, but she didn't let that stop her. "STAY AWAY FROM HER! DON'T TOUCH HER ANYMORE!" she ordered as he stood only a foot or two from her.

Jazz glared at him, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO SOMEONE IT'S WR-!" she was cut off suddenly. In the blink of an eye the man lunged at her and hit her in the back of the head. She was knocked out instantly.

Genki sat still and she went limp and fell in his arms.

"Heh," Booker gained a satisfied grin and grabbed Jazz by the back of her neck. "Stupid people don' know when to shut they trap," he said as threw her to the side. She hit the wall hard and landed on the floor at the edge of the room, concealed by old boxes and wood.

"Did you really have to do that, boss?" Genki asked as he looked to where Jazz fell.

Booker didn't reply. He walked back to Riza and was about to continue with her when a pounding noise was heard down stairs. "Wassat?" He asked as they looked to the doorframe.

Just before them stood the Lieutenant Colonel and his face didn't hold the most welcoming expression. He wasn't in the best shape to say the least. He was leaning against the wall, trying to catch his breath. Sweat traveled down his brow as he tried to regain himself. _I guess I really wasn't as strong as I thought. _He told himself as he eyed the men.

"Well would you look at that… This woman have a man all to herself…" Booker grinned as he stared back at Roy.

This statement intrigued Roy a bit. His eyes slid down to the floor where Riza lay. His fists clenched at his sides when he saw what was going on. His wounded hand began to ache yet again when the pressure was applied. He saw her tatted jacket and all the blood. He was just thankful he heard Jazz yelling before she was exposed and they had their way with her. His eyes went back to the larger of the two men. He saw his hands and boot were drenched with Riza's blood, telling him who the guilty one was.

The bear-like man flashed an evil satisfied grin when he saw the anger welding in Roy's eyes. "It ain't nice not to share. You do know that, don't cha mister?" he asked confidently.

Genki grinned as well. He knew what was about to take place. He saw the look in his master's eyes and the unmistakable smirk on his face. "You shouldn't poke your nose where it doesn't belong, my good sir. It may accidentally get cut off."

Roy knew what he meant by this and his eyes went back to the bigger man. He watched as Booker's grin grew, revealing sharp, fang-like teeth. Nothing was said as he pulled a long blade from his back, his smile not changing and his eyes not leaving Roy's heaving form.

"It look like you got yourself a bit a trouble, a mister?" He asked as he pointed the long blade at Roy.

The military dog studied it carefully. "This is a broadsword." He said calmly as his eyes traced the blade. The handle of the sword was slightly curved, and the blade was long. It began thin, like most swords, but the farther down it went the thicker it got. Resulting in an overly light weapon with a large curve at the bottom of the blade, making it easier to kill with. "I have seen many of these in battles. They are quite destructive and are not to be taken lightly."

"So we've come to a' understanding then?" Booker asked and glanced down at Riza with a disgusting smile.

"If that's what you'd like to call it." Roy replied closing his eyes and giving off a calm smirk.

"Hm…" Genki gave a small growl. _I don't like this. Why is he so confident? _

"So you just gonna die then, are ya? That real good. I didn't really feel like fightin' right now. Not with this lil' lady a waitin'."

"There's just one thing I want before we you go." Roy said the same expression still on his face.

"And just what that be?" the big man asked and looked up at him, somewhat curiously.

Roy's boastfulness just grew as he drew Riza's pistol. It clicked as he aimed at the men. "Your jacket." He said coolly.

"Eh…" Genki backed up a bit when he caught sight of the gun. "I-I thought he was unarmed. He's… he's got a gun, boss."

Booker gave Roy a displeased expression. "It ain't very nice to trick a man like that."

"Yeah, well, we can't all be gentlemen, now can we?" the military dog replied.

Genki watched behind his master's leg as he took his heavy black jacket off and tossed it on the ground in front of Roy. "What do we do now?" the small man asked and looked up at Booker.

"What else?" Booker replied with a smirk, "Fight."

He lunged forward. The blade on his sword pointed at the soldier's bruised throat.

Roy's face became somewhat disappointed. The battle was totally one sided. Before anything even began he fired his gun twice. He closed his eyes and thought about his actions for a moment. "I'm sorry, but I don't have time to fight with you. I wouldn't have killed you if there weren't people I had to protect." He opened his eyes again to see both men lying on the floor and the wooden floor around them begin soaking up all the blood. _Jazz…_ he thought to himself as he stared at the fresh corpses. _I shot the gun, I'm sorry I couldn't keep that promise to you. But I will keep the other one and never be like him… _

Before the Lieutenant Colonel knew it he was forced to lean on the wall again. His heavy breathing returned as fatigue plagued his body. The adrenaline rush had faded and his weakness was once again physically visible. He looked back over to Riza. He saw she wasn't in the best shape herself.

He reached down and picked up the black jacket once belonging to Booker. It had some blood on it, but it was better then nothing. He walked over to Riza, almost losing his balance on the way. Then he knelt next to her and carefully removed what was left of her jacket from her body. He used it to make new bandages, and then he laid Booker's jacket over her. "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner. You shouldn't have had to go through that. It's my job to protect you." He said as he stared down into her pale face. He watched as her unsteady breathing became weaker. "Don't worry. I won't let it happen again."

Roy stood up, looking around the room. "Jazz?" he asked. _She must have run off, can't blame her. There was nothing she could have done against them._ He gave a small smile at the thought of the little girl. "I think it's time to leave here. Others could have heard all that commotion." He said as he looked around. "I'm sorry, Jazz. I didn't mean to leave your place a mess like this, but I have to go now." Then he gathered all his remaining strength and lefted Riza off the ground, leaving the room and the building.

AN: HI guys! Sorry this took me so long to update! My internet was down, and then we got a new printer. So I wasn't able to get on very much! Sorry I ended it right there, too. I was planning on at least wrapping this part of the story up, but it looks like that will have to wait until next time! See ya there! And Roy left Jazz alone and knocked out! Dies.


	43. What Goes on During ‘a Simple Game of Ch

AN: I just wanted to give a big thanks to Flava Sava and Mandy! I couldn't have written this chapter without your help (really)! Also to RW Grimm and Jass for at least trying!

Also, I wanted to say Breda and Grumman may be OOC in this chapter. Yeah, I have the same problems with them that I do with Gran and Fuhrer Bradley. Curse the small role people who are really important! Just bare with me, ok?

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 43: What Goes on During 'a Simple Game of Chess'

_Where did those kids get too?_ Roy wondered to himself as he wandered around some buildings. _They took the medical case and ran off with it. I have no idea where to look now._ He stumbled around the sandy pathways, eyes darting everywhere, keeping a close eye out for the orphans and the gangsters.

_Back at the office…_

Havoc, Fury, and Falman are seen sitting at their desks, looking over papers and files. The sound of papers rustling and pens scribbling on paper is all that is heard in the room as everything is still and pretty motionless.

"It's too quiet," Havoc said as he laid the document he was reading on his desk and leaned back in his chair. He twirled the cigarette in his lips as his eyes stared at the ceiling.

"Stop whining and enjoy it," Falman replied not stopping from his work.

"Yeah, it is," Fury said as he looked up at Havoc. "Where has Breda gone?"

"I believe he went to General Grumman regarding Lieutenant Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Isn't Grumman Hawkeye's grandfather?" Havoc asked looking over at Falman.

"That's what I've heard," the older man replied.

This brought Fury's dark child-like eyes to the ceiling. The black orbs traced the wall, covered by the clear glass of his black eyeglasses. "Do you think the Lieutenant Colonel is alright? He has been gone along time."

"You call overnight a long time?" Falman asked.

"For someone with his skills it is, and it's been more like a day and a half. I believe they arrived around noon yesterday," Havoc replied.

"It seems longer then that," Fury said as his eyes went back to his papers.

"Yes it does. But the Lieutenant Colonel is very skilled in combat. He was a hero in Ishbal, you know. I'm sure he's fine and just waiting for someone to pick him up," Falman said still doing his work.

"Hawkeye is good, too," Havoc added, "You should have seen her in her battle with the Lieutenant Colonel."

"Oh yes," Fury said with his usual smile, "I never really got to meet her, but I heard lots of rumors that she was just as good as the Lieutenant Colonel, even when he did use his alchemy."

"Believe me…" Havoc replied and slumped forward, remembering the battle. "Hughes, Armstrong and I got a front row seat for it."

"So I heard," Falman said.

"Why did Breda go to General Grumman instead of General Haruko or Brigadier General Gran?" Fury asked out of the blue.

"Because he didn't want to waste his time with Gran," Havoc and Falman replied in unison.

"And Haruko and Mustang aren't what you would call friends," Falman exclaimed.

"Gran is so bull-headed. He is probably enjoying every minute of the Lieutenant Colonel's absence," Havoc added.

"I guess you're right," Fury replied, "He wouldn't do anything even if we did ask him about it, would he?"

"No."

Havoc sighed once more, "It's too quiet."

"HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIFE? ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?" they heard Hughes' chiming voice sounding in the hallway.

"That didn't last very long," Fury said as his dark eyes went to the door. Havoc's attention went to the door as well.

"I told you you should have enjoyed it," Falman replied, annoyance was in his voice. He didn't hate Hughes, but he didn't really like him either. "I don't know how they expect anyone to get their work done in a room with that love bird."

"Aw, come on, he's not so bad," Fury said in Hughes' defense.

"Right…" the older man replied and got back to his papers.

Havoc was lost in thought again until…

"HEY!" the door flung open and Hughes walked in. His face held the same troublesome grin it always had. His expression changed to confusion when he saw the somewhat down faces of Havoc and Fury. "What's wrong with you?"

"They are just worried about the Lieutenant Colonel and Lieutenant Hawkeye," Falman answered.

Hughes smiled, "Don't be down about that. I'm sure Hawkeye will protect him."

"Sure," Fury replied with a reassured smile.

"Wasn't it because of the Lieutenant that they were shipped out there?" Falman asked and glanced up at Hughes.

"It was because of both of them," Havoc answered for Hughes, "And the Fuhrer said it was more of a 'bonding time' then a punishment."

"Bonding?" Fury asked as his attention went to the blonde First Lieutenant.

"The way to a man's heart isn't by crushing his ego. Especially when it comes to someone like the Lieutenant Colonel," Falman exclaimed as if he knew the answer to everything in the universe.

"That's not necessarily true," Hughes replied as his yellow eyes wandered around the room. The images of the dogs' battle came back to him. Then he paused and his expression became surprised. "You haven't fixed that window yet, Havoc?"

"No, I haven't had time to get around to it," he replied as his blue eyes went to the cigarette in his mouth. His expression was calm and dull as he watched the white material on the object being to turn black as the heat consumed it.

"Didn't the Major's alchemy fix it?" Hughes asked as he stared at the frame covered with a black garbage bag.

"Equal trade," Havoc replied, "Can't make something new if you don't have something old. We took all the remains of the window out when we first began, remember?"

"And every one that broke after that," Hughes grinned.

"Equal? Wasn't there another name for it?" Fury asked. Falman continued with his work, not paying much attention to his friends.

"Yeah, but I'm not expert. I know it means equal though," Havoc replied.

"If the Lieutenant Colonel were here we could just as him," Fury said somewhat sadly.

"Hey!" Hughes chimed, "He's fine! Don't worry about him! It's only a couple of gangs. He'll handle them no problem." He looked at the three men sitting at their desks. "Huh?"

"What now?" Falman irritability asked.

"Where's Lieutenant Breda?" He asked as his eyes searched the room for the short, fat, red-haired man.

"He went to see General Grumman. I hope they're getting somewhere. He left almost and hour ago," Havoc replied.

"Didn't want to waste his time with Gran, huh?" Hughes smirked.

They all nodded in reply.

"I wonder how Roy's doing?" Hughes wondered aloud as his eyes went back to the broken window.

"Dammit," Roy panted and slumped up against a wall. "I can't find them anywhere," he cursed and tried to push himself up off the wall. He didn't get that far before he collapsed to his knees. His expression became infuriated as he thought about how weak he was. Then his dark eyes went down to Riza. His rage subsided as his eyes traced her still pale form. "I'll take care of things, don't worry," he assured her. Then he tried to get up again.

He pushed against the wall and tried to steady his feet under him, but Riza's body was weighing him down a great deal. Once he tried lifting her, his wounded arm tensed and ached horribly. Roy flinched and scoffed at himself. He tried once more to lift his subordinate, but quickly fell back to his knees as he lost his grip on her.

"Hawkeye…" a frustrated and helpless noise escaped his throat as he stared down at her. She lay draped over his lap, the side of her face lie in the sand. He had wiped the blood away from her mouth, but the red color still tainted her once beautiful hair. _What if I can't save her?_ A small voice lingered in the back of his mind._ If I can't even support myself, how am I supposed to save her, too? _He lowered his head, allowing his dark bangs to hide his eyes.His teeth clenched and he became enraged again. _I can't think those things. I'm a State Alchemist; I was a hero in Isbal, my abilities measure way above this. I can't lose and die because of a couple of thugs._ "And…" he jeered as he raised his head, revealing dark lively eyes, "I won't have another death to my name. Not another one, especially not hers," he growled and looked back down at Riza.

"Hawkeye," Roy started down at her gently. "I'm going to try something else," he said and hoisted her onto his back. Using the wall as support he forced himself up. It was a lot easier when all her weight was on his legs and back instead of his wounded arm. Then he stumbled forward once again, ready to continue his search.

_In General Grumman's office…_

"But, sir," Breda began again. He'd been at this for what seemed like forever now.

"That's enough, Lieutenant," then old man known as General Grumman interrupted. "I too, am friends with Lieutenant Colonel Mustang. I fully believe he and my granddaughter can handle anything those men can dish out."

The old General sat across from Breda, in-between them sat a table, and on that table, nothing but a simple chessboard. "Check," his old eyes went back to Breda.

"Uh…" the Lieutenant found himself backed into a corner. They were supposed to be playing a serious game, but he was so busy with his mission he wasn't paying much attention to the game. His eyes went to the General's calm peaceful face. He was a very nice man, his 'grandfather' look alone proved that. He was indeed and elder among the rest of the dogs. His head held no hair, except a strip of grey that began around his ears then went around the base of his skull. This look was not uncommon for older men. He did however have a thick mustache full of dark grey hair. His eyes were old and wise, yet he hid them behind round eyeglass frames.

Breda stared at his black chess pieces as he tried to come up with a persuasive way to get the General to go along with him. "You know, General…" the overweight man began, "Your granddaughter is alone with the Lieutenant Colonel, and you never can trust him around women. Especially the young pretty ones, who your granddaughter surpasses in both physical and mental standards."

"Go on…" Grumman said, raising his eyes from the board. Both men had serious expressions on their faces.

"I'm just saying… that maybe the Lieutenant Colonel would like it investigate in 'other' areas, while on his current mission."

The General raised an eyebrow, "You're saying he won't his pants on?"

"You never can tell with those young buck pretty boys," Breda continued shaking his head. Of course, he didn't mean what he said, not all of it anyway. This was all part of his plan.

Grumman thought about this a moment. His eyes sunk back down to the black and white pieces on the game board. "And you do know…" he began leaning back in his comfortable chair. Suddenly the tension in the room was broken with a fit of laughter. "That this is my Hawkeye we are talking about. She has good morals, and I'm sure she can take care of herself. I've known Mustang for some time now. Yes, he may do things we as soldiers don't see fit, but there is another side of him, too. I'd bet that 'other side' would keep his pants zipped and his hands to himself."

"'Other side'?" Breda asked, and thought about this a moment, "DO YOU MEAN HAWKEYE?"

Grumman began laughing again, "No, but that's a nice thought."

Breda gave a small sigh again and tried to come up with another plan. He looked at his queen surrounded by Grumman's pons and knight, and it didn't take long for him to think of something. "They have been gone along time, all things considered."

"How so?"

"Well, they were sent to take care of a few thugs. Don't you think they've been gone awhile for something as small as that? Mustang and Hawkeye are great soldiers, don't you agree their skills would have giving them a sooner return?"

"Hmmm… indeed," the old General replied.

"Wouldn't it be a good idea to at least check up on them? It's not like it affects our other missions anyway. We just got in a bus load of new recruits, so we have free bodies by the pound that we could send out there."

The General thought about this a moment, "That is true…"

Breda smiled. _I love his easy-going personality. It comes in quite handy when big decisions are involved. _

"Alright," he replied after a few minutes of silence, "I'll grant you your wish and send some troops out to help them."

"Really?" Breda asked happily. He was almost surprised it was that easy, "Thank you, sir!"

Then Grumman got up from his seat and walked over to his desk. He picked up the phone and gave the order to ready the troops to another officer. As he was doing so, a smile flashed over Breda's face and he congratulated himself silently.

After Grumman hung up the phone he turned back to Breda. "It's all done; they are organizing troops and will be sending them out soon. They have also been fitted with weapons incase something is going wrong over there. I've also asked a messenger to go to Mustang's office and send some of your comrades to go and assist Mustang and Hawkeye if needed."

"Thank you, sir!" Breda replied. He was very pleased with himself and what he had accomplished.

"It's no problem, like you said, Lieutenant. We have plenty of soldiers around. They need an easy mission since here it's hard to have any kind of a hobby," the old man said with a smile as sat back down.

"Yes, General," Breda nodded in agreement. _Can I get out of here now? _He wondered to himself as his eyes went back to the board. _I can't just get up and run, can I? No, he's a higher ranking officer. That has disrespect written all over it. If Gran found out I ditched another General, he'd have my head for sure. Man, Havoc has all the fun._

"Is something wrong, Lieutenant?" Grumman asked seeing Breda's distressed face.

"Uhh… actually…" Breda began.

"HEY!" the door flung open and Hughes walked casually in. "How's it going?" his cheerful voice chimed.

"Hughes!" Breda snapped suddenly, "You can't just! He's a! Are you nut-!"

"Well hello there, Major," Grumman greeted Hughes with a smile.

"How are things going?" the family man asked again as his eyes went to Breda, "Did ya get things to work out?"

Breda sat speechless. He'd never been alone with_ two_ higher ups before. If his friends were around maybe he'd be a little more confident.

"Yes," Grumman replied, "There's nothing that can't be solved over a simple game of chess."

"I see," Hughes said. Suddenly his glasses lit up and his voice gained an excited and sly tone. "Did he tell you your granddaughter was alone with Roy?" he hissed menacingly.

"Yes, he did make me aware of that," Grumman replied.

"DON'T THEY JUST MAKE THE CUTEST COUPLE?" Hughes exploded like a lit bomb.

"Uh…" Breda didn't know what to say.

"I think Mustang would make a good husband. He's a good man," the General replied.

"I know, and he needs a wife! I've been telling him to get one for a while now, but he's to pig-headed to listen to me! I'm glad I finally found someone who agrees! We should join forces and get those two together!" Hughes went into his rambling mode.

"I think they can make that decision on their own," Grumman replied, but in his mind he was agreeing with him.

"Yes they can make it, but to get to making it I think we should give them a little push," Hughes said with his trademark expression. Little pink hearts began fluttering around his head as his glasses got even brighter and he got all gitty.

"I'm not to interfere in my Hawkeye's affairs unless I see a good reason too."

"Ah, I got ya!" Hughes replied, still in gitty mode, "But what if they did get married? You know I'd be the best man! Come on, you know I would. After all, I am the one responsible for getting them together!"

"I suppose," Grumman replied.

"Ummm…" Breda just sat quietly and watched the two men go on and on.

"And what about the honeymoon?" Hughes chimed.

"I think they can pick out a nice place on their own. They are 'young people' after all."

"I DON'T MEAN THAT?" Hughes snapped, almost climbing on the table to see Grumman at eye level, "I MEAN WHAT WOULDS RIZA WEAR?"

"What?" Breda asked confused.

Grumman raised an eyebrow, "A dress of course…"

Hughes gave him a bit of a glare then put his hand to his mouth, shielding his lips from the single Lieutenant. He leaned in close to the General then said in a sly whisper, "You know I don't mean that."

"Oh, you mean for…"

Hughes gave a serious nod in reply.

"Oh boy, it's been so long since 'that' happened to me. Let me think about what my wife wore," Grumman said and put his hand to his chin.

"No!" the Major snapped, "That was along time ago! They have much better stuff now!"

"Uh… Why are we talking about this?" Breda asked, wanting to get out of this uncomfortable conversation. "Shouldn't we be finding out when the troops are leaving or something? And this is Hawkeye we are talking about. I'm sure she'd get angry if she found out what you were discussing."

The General sat and thought about that, "Yes, it is her personal business. I'm sure she wouldn't be too happy if her old grandpa pried into her life like that. Plus she's a smart and beautiful girl. I'm sure she can pick something out for Mustang. He'd be happy with her wither she got something of 'that' nature or not I'm sure."

"BUT THAT'S THE MOST IMPOSTRANT PART!" Hughes argued almost falling over.

"Her underwear?" Breda replied.

"Hm?" both men stared at the Lieutenant in confusion.

There was silence in the room for a few moments as they continued their uncomfortable staring.

Hughes adjusted his glasses on his nose and continued to stare and the unmarried man, "….no…but…" he tried to say something witty when the General cut in.

"Well gentlemen," the General said as he stood up from his seat, "This has been a lovely conversation, but I feel I must take me leave. We should all get together again sometime," he finished with a smile and a wave and walked out of the room.

The two dogs watched as the officer left the room and closed the door.

"Did I say something wrong?" Breda asked Hughes, who was still almost on top of the table.

"Well..." he looked back at him and rubbed the back of his head with a confused yet serious expression, "Where did you get underwear from?"

Breda's face turned white as a sheet, "ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?"

"No… we were talking about her shoes. Dancing is the best part of the whole experience aside from… and you don't want to get sore feet in classily yet uncomfortable heels. But what you were talking about… that's a nice idea, too. How would you like tell Roy you made his night perfect?" he asked with a menacing grin as he leaned in toward Breda. His glasses lit up once again.

"Uh…" Breda stared into his face uncertainly.

Before he could even reply the door opened once more. Both soldiers looked to see the General reenter the room.

He stood before then with a smile, "And I almost forgot," he said as he reached around Hughes' body and down towards the board, "Checkmate," he smiled and knocked over Breda's queen with his knight. Then he stood up straight and looked the lower ranks, "That was fun, we must do it again indeed, tootles," he said and left.

"Uh…" Hughes and Breda started at the door in confusion.

_In the land of sand…_

"Don't die, Hawkeye," Roy repeated over and over as he stumbled through the sandy pathways. He continued on in search of the kids, but it wasn't as easy as when he first began. All his muscles ached and his vision was now blurry.

He made his way around a corner and almost collapsed again. _NO! _He ordered himself to stay up. He was having a battle with his body, and he was losing badly. He fell against the wall again and used his arms to hold up his weight. He tried going again, but the poison his arms were in caused Riza to slide off his shoulders.

"Hawkeye!" Roy shouted as his dark eyes darted back to see his Lieutenant fall to the ground and lay still in the sand.

His expression was full of helplessness as he fell to his knees. His eyes still on Riza as his soul sunk into a sea of depression. His pupils quivered like they had when he was in the Ishbal war as the fear of death and the feeling of not being in control set in. Suddenly the image of himself as a young solider in the war came flooding back to him. His eyes widened as he remembered putting the gun to his head when he felt he couldn't escape from the torment his soul was enduring. He looked down at Riza again, and then he saw her pistol lying at his side. It had fallen from his waistband when he fell, and was now taunting him. He was beginning to consider his options and took the gun in his hand when …

"_Lieutenant Colonel, sir. Forgive me for disobeying orders, sir," she replied. Her words spaced by her slurred breathing. "It was an order that I help you on this mission. I'm sorry; Lieutenant Colonel, but I can not leave you, not matter what." Her amber eyes fixed on Grimm. She saw Grimm's face in another flash of light. The teen wasn't exactly thrilled at Riza's response._

"_Well…" Grimm began with a cold smirk. "It looks like all bets are off," she said as she raised her weapon. _

_The two women glared at each other for a moment or two. Riza's mind became clouded as fatigue began to set in. Her sense of reality began to drift away and the fireflies returned, though there was no one firing. _

_What is this? Riza wondered and scoffed as the light of the fireflies crowed her rage of sight. She could see Grimm's form, incased in the fireflies' glow. The girl smirked once more._

"_Don't worry; we'll be sure you won't be alone too long. You can follow all your precious Colonel's orders in the afterlife."_

_Riza sneered again. The lightening flashed and a single shot was fired._

_Bang!_

_I can't do this. It's not fair_ _to her, not after what she has done for me. _Roy scolded and jeered to himself, then aggressively pushed the weapon back into his waistband. His frustrated and saddened face went back to his Lieutenant. She didn't show any signs of coming too anytime soon._ How are we going to get out of here?_ He wondered as his eyes still remained on Riza. He felt so bad for her, she'd taken a bullet for him, and he couldn't even find some little brats with a suitcase.

"I just need to rest a bit," Roy told Riza, unsure if she could understand him or not. Then he leaned against the wall next to him and closed his eyes.

It had only seemed like a second that the Lieutenant Colonel had begun to rest when he heard a familiar noise.

_What's that?_ He wondered and cracked open an eye. What he heard was the sound of car engines, and tires spinning in the thick sand. He continued to stare out, wondering if he was just hearing things. Then he saw it, on the horizon he saw a line of machines racing towards him.

He closed his eyes and gave a small weak smirk. "See Hawkeye, I told you I'd find a way out of here. You were worried for no reason," then without even realizing it he feel into a very deep slumber.

After a few minutes of searching and driving around a solider discovered the two wounded dogs, "I FOUND THEM!" he shouted and waved his free hand at his comrades. His other hand held a powerful rifle.

Within seconds a there was a group of men at his side. "Be careful with them now," one man said as they lifted Roy and Riza up, and then carried them away. "We have to get them back to the base, HURRY!" the man shouted to a driver of one of the cars.

"Uh…" Roy's dark eyes fluttered open when he felt his body being placed in the back of a car.

He saw a familiar face peering behind the men who were loading him in the car.

"Hiya, chief," the face said with a calm smile.

"Havoc?" Roy asked in a daze.

Not a second later he heard another voice he knew. "Lieutenant Colonel, are you alright?"

Roy's eyes blindly searched for who was talking to him. His blurry vision made it hard to focus on anything, but not long after he found Fury in the passenger seat of the car, staring back at him with his concerned child-like expression.

In middle of their conversation an explosion of gunfire broke out.

"Guess you didn't do so hot on taking care of those gangsters, huh?" Fury said as he and Havoc started into the town. They saw people running everywhere, some falling after getting shot. The sound of gunfire and screams began filling their ears. The military and the thugs were finally having a fair war.

After he was safely placed in the car his attention went back to Havoc, who had gotten in the driver's seat.

"We're going to take you back now, chief," Havoc said as he started up the car.

"Where's Hawkeye?" Roy's slurred voice asked. Now that he knew he was being taken care of, he let his guard down, causing him to become very sleepily and acting more like a wounded person should.

"Don't worry, sir," Fury replied and stared back to him, "Lieutenant Hawkeye was placed in another car, and they rushed off as soon as they got her in."

"Alright, we're going now," Havoc informed them when he got the car in gear.

The room in which Jazz lay was still, but the sounds of battle poured in from every direction.

"Ohhoooo…" Jazz moaned as she began to come too. "My head," she whined as she slowly sat up and brought her hand to her face, rubbing her aching forehead. "Roy?" she asked as she tried to rid herself of the sharp pain.

_BOOM! BANG! BANG!_ "NUUOOOOO! LET ME GO!" the war continued to flood into her room. "DON'T SHOOT ME!"

Jazz's eyes widened with fear and confusion. _What's going on?_ She cried to herself and hurriedly stood up and peered out the window. Her eyes widened and she subconsciously began shaking when she saw the terrible events going on outside.

In the pathways below she saw men dressed in the same outfits as Roy and Riza attacking the gangsters. The once tan sand was littered with dead and wounded bodies from both sides and gained hints of dark red as the small dirt particles absorbed the spilt blood.

"DON'T SHOOT ME, PLEASE!" Jazz watched a solider trapped up against the wall begin to beg for his life as one of the thugs evilly grinned down at him, a gun pointed at his head.

"PLEAS-!" the soldier pleaded, but it was all in vain as the gangster pulled the trigger.

Jazz watched in horror as the man's blood splattered all over the building behind him and then he fell limp to the side.

"YOU BASTARD!" another officer shouted. His enraged eyes stared at his comrade, who lay dead on the ground. The gangster just stared back at him coldly. They glared at each other as their friends were either being shot or taken under arrest.

"LET ME GO!" Jazz heard a familiar voice yell. She looked down the road and watched as Hell Fire was being dragged away by two men in blue uniforms. Her wrists were bound in silver handcuffs, and her now bloody leg dangled and dragged as she was being pulled away.

The small girl's eyes also picked up other people she knew. She saw Big Red and Dino being taken away as well. She also saw Shadow and Grimm running around here and there, killing off the military's dogs and trying to keep at a safe distance.

Out of the corner of her brown eye she saw a car drive passed. She watched it as it sped passed and towards to outer workings of the area. Her gaze followed it until her rage of sight was able to see in all the windows. "ROY!" she screamed when she saw his body in the backseat. "ROY!" she cried again and turned to the door. She started to sprint but was quickly cut off by what lay on the floor before her.

_What happened to them?_ Tears began welding in her eyes as she started at Genki and Booker. _Why is this happening?_ She tried to explain it in her mind, but couldn't. The young girl fell to her knees and was about to breakdown when the image of Roy in the car came to her mind.

Her eyes widened as her mind blocked out the scene before her, allowing her to dash out the door and down the stairs. The sounds outside became louder and clearer as she neared the entrance.

"ROY!" she cried again as she raced outside, almost slipping in the sand. "ROY WAIT!" Jazz cried and ran passed all the events around her, not caring about them. She ran in the direction Roy had gone. When she rounded a corner she found herself almost out of 'the pit' and in a desert area. It wasn't hard for her eyes to spot the car on the horizon.

"ROY!" she yelled again and began running after the military vehicle. "ROY! ROY!" she repeated over and over as the car got farther and farther away from her.

"Hm?" Havoc's blue eyes hit the rearview mirror when he thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye. "Hey, chief," he began.

"He feel asleep," Fury replied with his usual smile, "It's probably for the best that he gets some rest."

Hearing this and knowing it was probably true. Havoc's mouth shut and his eyes peered back into the mirror. He saw the little girl chasing them and screaming, but if Roy was asleep there was no one to give him permission to go back, and if he did, God alone knows what would happen to him for defying the orders of a General.

"ROY!" Jazz continued to cry. Hot tears steamed down her face as she watced the car begin to disappear. When she finally realized she wasn't able to reach it she began jumping up and down and screaming as loudly and desperately as she could, hoping he could somehow hear her. "ROY! ROY! ROY!" she cried until she was horse, "DADDY!" her sore throat managed to yell, but it was much softer and cracked. "Don't leave me here…" she sobbed and fell to her knees.

Havoc's eyes became somewhat sad as he watched Jazz's attempts to be noticed. He watched the small child until he couldn't make out her form anymore, then his attention was taken back to the view of Central before them, and the thought of little Jazz was pushed to the back of his mind.


End file.
